Chapter 25

Keep going. Keep going. He needs to die. Alastair needs to die.

Those thoughts were the only ones echoing around in Dean's mind. He stabbed the demon again and again; it was as if his body was on autopilot. He didn't think he could stop, even if he wanted to. He finally had a means to release all the frustration and anger that had been building up in him the past few days and it felt so, so good to let it out.

He hadn't deserved what Alastair had done to him, he had taken enough beatings from the demon, and now it was time for Dean to return the favor. What had happened to him in Hell….what Alastair had made Dean watch…the things he did to his brother…

It hadn't really been Sam, but that didn't matter. It had felt so real. It was the idea of Alastair and his minions doing those vile things to his brother, of them promising they would do it to the real Sam…

If Dean stopped, Alastair might jump up and attack his brother, do to him what he had done to Dean in Hell….he couldn't let that happen. He had to make sure the bastard was dead, he had to protect Sam.

You'll never get him, asshole. This is for Sam, for every time you threatened to hurt him.

Dean let those thoughts fuel him and felt free, finally feeling like nothing was holding him back. With no longer keeping in his aggression or frustration, he felt the best that he ever had. A sense of odd calm settled over Dean, the complete opposite of what his actions were conveying. He couldn't hear anything outside of the pounding of his own heart.

Keep going. Keep going. Make sure he's dead.

Dean? Please. Please stop.

The sudden change of tone made Dean hesitate, unconsciously slowing his rapid stabbing.

Come on Dean. I know you can do it. You're stronger than this.

The new voice took over any thought in his mind. Slowly, he began to come to a realization that it wasn't his own voice, but was just as important….

Come back to me big brother.

Sammy.

Dean blinked, trying to bring himself back into focus. The pull to keep spilling out his rage onto Alastair was strong, but his will to get back to Sam was stronger. He had to pull himself back; he had to be a big brother.

He looked down at the body, his hand hovering above it with the knife. Alastair was already dead, the body practically mutilated. There was no soul in the body. Besides, even if he had been still alive, the knife never hurt the demon anyway.

Dean took a deep breath and dropped the knife, feeling Sam's arms around him. Suddenly, his other senses came into focus. He could feel the searing pain in his bad arm and it gave out on him, causing him to collapse into Sam even further.

I've got you, don't worry, Sam told him through their connection and Dean felt himself truly relax. He was wrong when he thought letting himself give into his rage was the happiest he'd ever been. No, he was happiest with his brother. And right now, having Sam next to him, supporting him physically and emotionally, was the best feeling in the world.

He was back with his brother. Alastair was dead. He didn't have to worry.

Dean pushed back all his emotions and closed his eyes, letting himself calm down even further and was left completely exhausted. He remembered then how his body was deprived of food, water and sleep, on top of being tortured and emotionally drained.

"Is he okay?" Dean heard someone ask. He forced his eyes open a bit to see a group of people. Bobby, Ellen, Jo. Carl was standing next to them, with Heather leaning on the man for support. He turned his head a bit to see that Cas and Ruby were in the room as well. They all had come to save him?

"Yeah..." Dean could practically hear the smile in Sam's voice. "Yeah, he's okay."

Dean felt Sam move from behind him, still keeping a hand on his back to support him. In a moment, his brother was kneeling in front of him, both hands moving to his shoulders.

Dean locked eyes with his brother and whatever Sam saw in his expression must have pleased the younger Winchester. He grinned, his eyes watering a bit and taking on that puppy dog look.

What Dean wanted to say at that moment was something snarky, some kind of joke calling Sam a crybaby. Anything to avoid his brother getting mopey.

But instead, Dean felt himself reaching out to his brother, grabbing onto his shirt with his good hand.

"Sammy."

His voice was rough and hardly a whisper but Sam didn't seem to mind. He pulled Dean forward a little too forcefully and sent pain through his bad arm, but Dean didn't complain. Sam hugged him tightly, his breath hitching and Dean clung to his brother's shirt with every ounce of strength he had.

"I thought I was going to lose you," Sam choked out.

"Nah, not this time," Dean said, coming back to his usual self.

"Not ever," the younger brother replied, his voice strong.

"Guys, you can continue your love fest later, I think we've got problems," Ruby snapped, causing both brothers to break apart and look her way. "I can hear commotion going on upstairs, looks like I'll have to teleport you guys out one by one," she continued.

"Couldn't you do more than one at a time? Dean did that with some kids...," Sam mentioned.

"And I bet he exhausted himself quickly right?" Ruby mocked. "It's too tiring doing more than one and those were only small kids."

Dean looked around him and how both Sam and Carl were supporting someone. They wouldn't be able to fight if they were attacked. Bobby was running low on bullets for the Colt...if Ruby left them in an attempt to teleport them away one by one, they'd be left without a strong demon that could fight off whatever came their way.

He sent these thoughts out to his brother, hoping he kid would know what decision was best to make.

"No." Sam shook his head. "We stick together if there's danger nearby. We need you to fight Ruby if we get attacked. If you leave then we're left vulnerable. It probably just stray demons anyway. I'm sure you and Cas can get rid of them and then Once it's safe, you can take your time and teleport us out."

Ruby shrugged. "Fine by me." He rest of the group seemed to agree with Sam's logic as well.

"Can you walk if I support you?" Sam asked Dean, looking worried. Dean didn't blame him. How the hell were they going to get out alive when Sam had to practically drag him along?

"Yeah," Dean croaked. "I'll be fine, don't worry."

Sam helped get him standing and then wrapped one arm around Dean's waist, being careful of the wound in his stomach. Dean's other arm was placed over Sam's neck in an attempt to help keep him upright.

"The boy looks like he's going to keel over any minute!" Bobby pointed out, concerned. "He should stay back here with Sam where it's safe!"

"Sam has those powers to stop demons, we need him old man," Ruby sighed. "It's not like your precious Dean is going to be killed. We even have my knife back now." She picked up the bloody blade off the floor.

"Then you can take the lead," Bobby grunted, even though he knew that had been the plan. Poor guy couldn't think of a good comeback.

"Since I am immortal, I will assist the demon in taking the lead," Castiel spoke.

"I have a damn name!"

"Enough!" Sam hissed. Dean sighed in relief, thank goodness for his brother stopping this nonsense. "Let's get moving now!"

Ruby rolled her eyes but started out of the room and down the hallway with Castiel following. The rest of the group took off after them, with Sam and Dean in the middle in order to protect them from all sides. The rest of the library was still bathed in darkness, and they only had the light provided by Ruby and Cas to assist them.

They didn't get far, at the top of the stairs; a female demon pounced out of the shadows onto an unsuspecting Ruby. Her flame went out as they rolled around, struggling. Dean squinted in the blue glow that was somehow coming out of the angel and recognized the demon as the one that had been guarding Ellen and Carl's cage. It was one of Alastair's minions.

With Alastair dead...what was she trying to do in trying to stop all of them? Wouldn't she have fled for her life? Maybe it was a pride thing, or anger at her leader's demise. She probably wanted to get revenge and wasn't thinking clearly, something that Dena understood all too well.

"What do I do?!" Bobby asked, frantic. He was pointing the Colt at the tussling demons. "If I shoot, I could get Ruby. Should I risk it?"

Castiel seemed to be considering the same thing, his angel blade ready. "I can lunge at them but I could stab her as well. Dean would be unhappy if I killed his demon lover."

"She's not..." Dean started to weakly protest before he noticed a few shadows in the distance. "Shit!" He raised his voice, feeling adrenaline muster up some strength once more. "There's something coming."

Dean felt Sam tighten his hold on him. "We've gotta turn around..."

The lights suddenly came back on, blinding everyone. Dean was able to adjust to the change quicker than the humans, and he noticed Ruby and the other demon had as well. Ruby pushed her attacker off of her and scrambled to reach her fallen blade.

Dean turned his attention to what was happening in the distance. There, he saw something that looked like a normal human man in his thirties, until his eyes briefly flickered with a shiny light. A shifter. It must be one of the controlled monsters.

But the scary thing was what it was holding. There was a leash and attached to it were five snarling Croats, biting the air and reaching out towards them.

What the hell was this?

The shifter reached over to unhook the leash…

"No!" Sam called out. "You don't have to do this. You can fight it and not listen to her. You don't want to do this."

Bobby apparently wasn't up for talking. He fired a bullet from the Colt only for the shifter to duck out of the way. It stood up with a smirk…that was unusual. These things usually were nearly feral under Eve's control, or at least that was what Dean noticed.

"Damn it I'm out," Bobby cursed, the gunchamber empty. Castiel took a step forward, but it was too late.

"Oh, I'm not under any mind control. I actually want to work for her." The shifter grinned.

Of course. Sure, some monsters weren't so bad and didn't want to kill. But there were many that lived for it and would gladly follow some leader's orders, especially if it benefitted them in some way.

With that, the shifter let go of the leash, and a sequence of events happened in less than twenty seconds.

The Croats charged forward, snarling and lunging toward them. The demon Ruby had been fighting grabbed onto her leg, only to have Ruby kick her in the face. The demon fell backwards, right into one of the Croats. It bit at her, and the other two joined in.

The demon let out a howl of pain and shoved at the Croats, breaking free. Castiel approached the snarling beasts with the angel blade in hand, distracting them.

Before Dean could see any more, Sam was turning him around, dragging him back down the stairs.

He tried his best to keep up, but the rest of the group was far ahead, running toward one of the other meeting rooms. Carl was even ahead, having picked up Heather, carrying her in his arms. Shit, he was slowing his brother down. He was going to be the reason Sam got hurt...

Dean felt something tug on his shirt and in his weakened state, he began to collapse. Sam held him upright before he could fall and they turned around to see the female demon glaring at them both.

"Time to die, bitch," Ruby spoke up from behind them, stalking toward the demon with her knife in hand.

The demon opened her mouth, finally deciding that her revenge wasn't worth her getting killed, but where black smoke should have been coming out, nothing happened. She looked up in panic, closed her eyes and tried to concentrate and then began to scream.

"I can't get out! I can't teleport! What the hell is going on?"

Ruby paused, stopping near the brothers. "Shit, guys, do you see that? Her soul?"

Dean mustered up a little strength in order to tap into his powers to see the demon's black smoke cloud inside her host. It was flickering weakly...changing to a dull gray color...

"It's...fading?" Sam gasped.

By this time, the rest of the group had slowly walked over, eyeing the scene in front of them with interest.

The demon held out her hand, as if to use her powers. There was no result. "I can't...I can't do anything! I..." the demon gasped and fell to the floor. Dean watched the soul spark violently. It was...damaged is what it looked like. What the hell was going on?

The demon struggled and screamed, obviously in pain. Not even a minute later, it's soul started breaking apart, it let out one more spark and then seemed to disintegrate, completely vanishing.

"Did it just...did it just die?" Carl spoke up.

"Demons don't die unless they're stabbed with those knives or shot with the Colt," Ellen replied.

"Guys it..." Sam turned them both around to face the group. "It's soul...I could see it, it was destroyed. The demon is dead."

"What the hell would cause that?" Bobby asked.

While the group pondered, Dean tried to get his fuzzy brain to think back. Since he was practically useless right now, he had been able to really focus on what had happened in those twenty seconds...

"The bitch got bit by one of those things…more than once," Dean croaked. Everyone turned to look at him like they were surprised to see him functioning. He must look like death warmed over.

"But Dean, you've gotten bit a bunch of times. Nothing happened to you," Sam pointed out.

"Just throwing it out there. They have been mutating. Who knows if this isn't another one."

"The shifter was holding them, right? And it works for Eve?" Jo sounded scared. "Well Eve wanted to take over…what if she did this to kill off any demons?"

Well shit, that was pretty scary. And probably damn accurate. By the lack of response, everyone else was probably thinking the same thing.

The brief moment of silence was interrupted by the sound of someone rushing down the steps. Before they could even get their weapons ready, Castiel appeared, covered in blood.

"They have unleashed many more Croats. We have to try and get somewhere safe."

"We can only lock ourselves in the room while I try to teleport you all out and hope to hell they can't break in," Ruby said.

How hopeless was that?

As if reading Dean's thoughts, a demon suddenly appeared in the center of the room.

Crowley.

"Well," the demon smiled coyly. "It's a good thing you helped out the new king of Hell. I guess I can reward you."

Dean blinked and in that instant, he was out of the library and outside...he looked around to see everyone standing around him...and the hotel to the right.

Crowley was now the king of Hell, and with that promotion, came new abilities.

He had been able to teleport them all back to the hotel...back to safety.

With that knowledge that his brother was now out of danger, Dean let his consciousness drop and he collapsed onto his brother as his vision went black.

Crowley had promised to come back and "discuss" plans on how to take care of Eve as soon as he settled into his new role in Hell.

"I'm not a demon, I don't work for you," Sam told him, trying to support his brother who had finally passed out from the pain.

"But your brother is. And even he is wise enough to know not to turn his back on me because I can send out an order for all demons to keep their hands off of him."

"You really think all the demons are going to listen? You'll have rebels."

"Of course. But wouldn't it be worth it to have a small group after him rather than the entire demonic population?" At Sam's silence, Crowley smirked. "I rest my case. See you boys later."

With that, Sam didn't waste any more time getting his injured brother into the hotel. He ignored Sadie's gasp of horror at Dean's atrocious condition and questions from the survivors that came his way. Sam had tunnel vision as he walked towards the rooms that served as a hospital ward.

Sure, the med student was now dead, but they still had all their medical supplies there. Sam was sure he and Bobby could make due in trying to patch up Dean. It wasn't like Dean needed precise or professional help, he just needed to be stitched and wrapped up. His demonic powers would do the rest in healing him.

Even though Heather was also brought into the room, no one, not even the injured woman herself, complained when Sam and Bobby said they would help Dean first. Heather remained silent as they worked on Dean, but the way she looked at his brother...it was as if she viewed him as a hero.

Sam was just finishing helping Bobby wrap up Dean's stomach and back where the iron bar had pierced him when the older man spoke up.

"You know I never had any intention of leaving him," Bobby said, looking down at Dean's battered face sadly.

Sam remembered how Bobby had tried to talk Sam out of charging into the library early. "Bobby, it's okay, I get it..."

"No, Sam..." It almost sounded like Bobby choked up for a moment, running his hand through Dean's matted hair softly. "I never meant it in that way. I just didn't want us running blindly into danger and failing to save him because we didn't think it through."

"Bobby, he was being tortured, I couldn't sit around..."

"I know boy, I know. You immediately thought to run in there, stopping your brother's pain was the only thing on your mind. I just didn't want it to blind you from executing our rescue mission properly. But you were right, we didn't have any time to waste."

Sam studied the way that Bobby was looking at and touching Dean, like a father would. He knew the older hunter was telling the truth. He had never considered abandoning Dean, he was just thinking of the best way to rescue him.

Bobby loved Dean, the Dean that he was now, of this Sam was certain.

"Don't worry Bobby," Sam said softly, smiling at his friend. "I know you only had good intentions. I was just panicking and...I just wanted him back."

"Well..." Bobby reached up and put a rough hand on Sam's shoulder. "He's back and he's safe. He's gonna be alright."

"I know." Sam sighed. "I just wish he didn't have to go through any of that. He's been through way more than enough."

"That, I agree with kid. But there's nothin' we can do about that. What you can focus on though, is being there for him. Now, let's try and get that arm taken care of best we can."

The two hunters quickly realized that there wasn't much they could do for Dean's bad arm. Sam felt a burst of anger flow through him when he saw Alastair had snapped the humerus bone in two places. It wasn't like they could put a real cast on him and they ended up straightening out the bone best they could and tightly wrapping Dean's arm in gauze. Sam would put the damaged arm in the sling to avoid it jostling around once they got back to the suite.

Sam placed Dean in one of the wheelchairs they had lying around, too exhausted to carry Dean up without dropping him.

"You sure you don't need any help with him?" Bobby asked before Sam left the room.

"You've done more than enough Bobby, thank you."

"Alright, I'll try and help her." Bobby gestured over to where Heather lay in the other bed. "You let me know as soon as that boy wakes up and is feeling better. I wanna come see him, you hear?"

Sam grinned tiredly. "You've got my word."

He pushed Dean over to the elevators, glad that it was still too early for most people to be up. He didn't want to deal with anyone right now. The elevator ride seemed to take forever. Sam was eager to get Dean comfortable and back where he belonged.

Finally bringing Dean into his room, Sam placed his brother on his bed as gently as he possibly could. After some digging, he found Dean's sling thrown underneath his bed and placed Dean's injured arm in it. With nothing else serious to take care of, Sam found himself worrying about stupid little things. Should he cover Dean with blankets? But it was summer, what if he got too warm? Should he wake Dean up to let him know they were back and safe?

Sam settled with covering Dean in a thin blanket. He didn't need to worry about deciding to wake Dean up though, because his brother began to stir fitfully.

Dean's eyes blinked open and he gasped, trying to bolt upright but Sam held him down.

"Hey! Hey you're okay. We're back Dean, you're safe." Sam spoke loudly but calmly, trying to lock onto Dean's black eyed gaze. His brother's focus finally settled on Sam and he seemed to visibly relax, his body sagging back down onto the memory foam mattress.

Sam stood up, smiling softly at his brother. "Get some rest. Your body needs time to heal."

He turned around, stopping in his tracks when he heard the rough voice.

"Sammy."

It wasn't a question but instead almost sounded like a plea and Sam understood it for what it was. Dean didn't want to be alone but didn't want to admit it out loud. Sam felt his eyes watering as he turned around. He had no intention of leaving his brother's side.

"Hey, you're not getting rid of me that easily." He smiled at his brother who was staring at him as if in a daze. Dean was completely exhausted, yet staying awake to keep an eye on Sam. "I'm just going to use the bathroom."

Neither of them would be able to sleep tonight without being near the other.

Sam hurried in the bathroom. He desperately wanted to take a long warm shower, but that would mean more time away from his traumatized brother who needed him.

When he came back into the bedroom, Dean was facing his way, not even bothering to hide the fact that he needed to keep Sam in sight right now.

Sam turned off the lights and went around to the other side of the bed, getting under the covers. There was more than enough room for them to be comfortable and have their own space.

He looked over at his brother, seeing that Dean was doing the same while struggling to keep his eyes open. Reaching over, Sam placed a hand on Dean's good shoulder, easing the tension in his body.

"It's okay, I'll be right here when you wake up. Get some sleep buddy."

Dean's eyelids fluttered closed and Sam laid back and got comfortable. He let himself breathe a sigh of relief, trying to control his emotions after the draining day he had been through. There had been so many other outcomes that could have happened and he had almost been too late in rescuing his brother.

But Dean was here, right beside Sam and Alastair was dead. He had to take his own advice and allow himself to relax now too.

Just as Sam went to close his eyes, his brother spoke up, surprising him.

"G'night Sammy," Dean mumbled quietly, his eyes still closed but face titled in Sam's direction.

Of course Dean, even in his delirious state, had realized that something had been bothering Sam, and had tried to offer him some comfort.

It had been a while since Sam had heard what had once been Dean's daily goodnight's and he felt himself choking up. Who had Alastair thought he was in thinking he would be able to break Dean?

Dean never lost himself, even in Hell, because the main part of him, being a big brother, was never lost. As long as Dean was able to be a brother, he'd be okay.

"Goodnight Dean," Sam whispered back. He tried to set his mind at ease and hoped it wouldn't be long until sleep took him under.

Sam woke to the sound of someone knocking. He shot up in bed, trying to gather his surroundings. One look next to him at his sleeping brother and Sam remembered everything.

The knocking came again, a friendly tapping. Sam groaned, he didn't want any visitors right now. Glancing over at the bedside clock, he saw that it was already 2 in the afternoon.

Well, no wonder someone was stopping by, probably wanted to make sure they weren't dead.

Sam didn't let himself feel bad about sleeping in. They had gotten back so late last night, and it had been an exhausting trip, both physically and mentally. He slowly stood up, noticing that Dean only shifted slightly with a groan and turned his head. The pain his poor brother was in must be terrible if he wasn't reacting to the noise with his hunter instincts.

Sam left the bedroom and walked over to the main door. "Who is it?"

"It's me, Sam," Bobby's gruff voice called from the other side. "I picked up some food downstairs for you boys."

Sam opened the door and offered Bobby a smile. The older man was holding two styrofoam containers full of food. "Thanks Bobby."

The hunter looked around the room, looking slightly disappointed. It was obvious to Sam that Bobby had been hoping to find Dean awake and be able to talk to him.

"He's still sleeping," Sam answered the man's silent question.

The tips of Bobby's ears reddened in embarrassment. "Yeah, yeah, I expected as much. Although I doubt he will be for much longer with that food you've got now."

"True." Sam chuckled. "You'll be the first to learn when he's finally out of bed."

Bobby left and Sam grabbed some of the silverware from the kitchen. He was making his way back to the bedroom when he heard it.

"Sammy?"

Dean's voice was hoarse and panicked. Sam found himself running back into the room, finding his brother attempting to sit upright and looking around in worry. Once he saw Sam standing there, his expression changed to his typical scowl.

It looked like Dean was back to himself, or at least feeling better.

"Right here." Sam smiled, knowing what kind of response he would get.

"I can see that," Dean grumbled.

Sam had never been happier to deal with Dean's grumpy attitude.

"You feeling better?" Sam asked.

"I feel like I got impaled in the stomach. Oh wait..."

"Very funny." Sam walked over to his brother and that's when Dean noticed what he was carrying.

"Food? What's in there? Pie?" Dean tried to scoot up in bed but ended up wincing and holding onto his slinged arm with his other hand.

"Here, let me help." Sam placed down the food and helped position Dean so he was sitting against the headboard. He ignored his brother's attempts to bat him away and fluffed up a pillow to place behind him for support.

"Thanks," Dean grumbled, barely audible and not looking Sam in the eye. He reached his good arm over towards the container. "I'm fucking starving."

"Yeah, I bet," Sam replied, his smile turning sad. When was the last time his brother had gotten any food? Or water for that matter? "I'll grab you some water, okay?"

Dean nodded his approval over a mouthful of what looked to be spaghetti. They had been running low on boxed pasta, according to Marcy and Sam understood that she probably made this especially for Dean.

Sam brought a glass of water for them both and Dean mumbled something at him, probably another 'thanks', while noodles fell from his mouth. Sam chuckled but his laughter died when he saw how quickly Dean drained the glass of water.

"You want another?" Sam was ready to get up, but Dean grabbed his arm.

"In a minute. Gotta make sure you're okay first."

Sam was confused. "I am fine Dean, I didn't even get tossed around or anything, used my powers most of the time."

Dean looked pleased that Sam hadn't sustained any injuries. "I was actually referring to your powers," he said. "When's the last time you had a blood drink? I doubt there are any left in the fridge."

Oh yeah, Sam had nearly forgotten about his daily drink when he had his brother to worry about. "I drank the last one before I left to rescue you. There were only a few in there and I tried to spread them out so they would last."

"Got a headache at all?" Dean asked, sounding better now that he had some water to soothe his throat.

Sam did notice a slight pounding in his head, but he had assumed it was just from the tension and exhaustion of last night. "Yeah, a little."

Dean held his good hand out, reaching toward Sam's glass of water. It floated slowly in front of him and Dean held out his uninjured arm.

"Care to help?" Dean smirked, his black eyes tired but teasing. "What little brother doesn't want to cause his big brother to bleed?"

Sam huffed, he dug through Dean's nightstand, making a face at the nude magazines he found there, and eventually discovered his pocketknife. Dean placed his arm over the glass and Sam winced, cutting Dean as gently as possible.

Dean rolled his eyes at the tiny cut and pushed his arm into the small knife, causing the wound to deepen enough for the blood to start dripping in.

Sam had to force himself to pace his drinking after taking the first sip. He instantly felt more alert and energized and realized the effect not drinking regularly had on him.

But he had managed without it and Sam knew that if he ever did want or need to stop drinking the blood, he could without having any terrible side effects. Dean had stressed the fact that he was giving Sam blood in a way for him not to become addicted, and he had been right. It was more like wanting your daily cup of coffee.

He never would stop drinking it though. Not only because it protected him from Croatoan, but because using these powers could help his brother, like they had yesterday during the rescue. He also never wanted to get rid of their telepathy and the dream sharing.

"Better?" Dean smirked.

"Shut up," Sam shot back, his smile falling when he noticed Dean wince and hold onto his arm. "He really broke it bad, didn't he?" he asked quietly even though he knew.

Dean shrugged. "Snapped it in a couple places and apparently it's not going to heal like I normally do, so I'll just have to deal."

Sam took in his brother's stiff posture that he knew had nothing to do with the pain Dean was in. He was tense and wouldn't look Sam in the eye, making it clear to the younger brother that there was a lot on his mind.

Dean needed to talk to Sam, needed to free whatever troubling thoughts were going on in his head. It was going to be much, much easier said than done. Dean loved to make the simplest things extremely difficult.

"What else did he do?" Sam went with asking Dean straight up, making it obvious that he wanted his brother to talk, and that he had someone that was eager to help and listen.

As expected, Dean instantly tensed up even more. "I don't want to talk about it right now Sam. I'm tired." He slumped down on the bed until he was lying down once more, turning away from Sam.

Of course.

"Dean, come on..."

"You told me to rest Sammy. Now let me do that."

Dean did fall back asleep, waking up throughout the rest of the day and the evening every now and then. Every time Sam tried to ask him if he was up to talking, Dean quickly shot him down.

"After all I just went through the last thing I want to do is start gushing about it," Dean spat at Sam after he woke up for the third time. Sam tried not to take it personally. Dean was hurting and confused, and maybe he just needed a little more time.

The clock read 10 at night, so Sam decided to call it a night and deal with Dean tomorrow. His brother would have no excuse after having a whole night's sleep.

"Seriously Sam, don't sit here, go down there and talk to people, go have fun," Dean said when Sam set up a DVD and sat next to Dean in the bed.

"After all I went through, the last thing I want to do is leave my brother's side," Sam shot right back at Dean, who's face reddened as he turned away.

"Fine," Dean pouted. "Then turn up the volume, I can't hear shit."

Dean fell asleep fifteen minutes into the movie, his head fallen onto his brother's shoulder. There was no way that Dean could literally be this exhausted and need this much sleep. Even after all he suffered through, Dean was a demon, he should be able to bounce back. Sam was convinced it was just a coping mechanism to avoid talking about what had happened.

Or maybe Dean really was that tired. It wasn't like Sam was any expert at demon biology and maybe his brothers body really did need more time to recover after what Alastair put him through.

But Sam didn't know what Alastair actually did do, because Dean refused to talk. If Dean just would open up a little bit, Sam would know how to help him.

Dean had survived Alastair's emotional tortures while he was captured, Sam just hoped he'd be able to continue to do so now that he was free.

Dean woke up to the sound of running water. He cracked open his eyes and turned his head toward the direction of the noise. It was coming from the bathroom, Sam was probably taking a shower.

But then the water turned off, and Dean could hear his brother walking out of the bathroom. He quickly closed his eyes. Maybe if he focused hard enough, he could get himself to fall asleep again.

He doubted it. He wasn't tired, not at all. It had been easier to get himself to fall asleep last night when it was dark, but now the sun was shining through the windows, a warm summer breeze brushing past his face. The urge to get up and do something productive, to go enjoy the amazing weather, was getting harder and harder to fight. He ached and his arm throbbed, but he was completely alert.

But getting up would mean Sam would 'want to talk' first. Dean just wanted to forget about the whole ordeal with Alastair. The things the demon had mocked him about still echoed through his head, taunting him. If he talked about it with Sam, it would just push those thoughts even more to the front of his mind and make it that much worse, wouldn't it?

"Good you're awake," Sam spoke and Dean internally groaned. How much longer was he going to be able to push away his brother before Sam got fed up and gave up on him?

"Tired," Dean mumbled, trying to make his voice as pathetic sounding as he could.

"Don't give me that bullshit Dean. You've been sleeping for nearly 24 hours off and on. You're a demon for goodness sakes. And you know what else? You stink. I already got the jacuzzi ready for you so get a move on."

"Bossy little bitch," Dean muttered, pushing himself up with his good arm. The sneaky bastard knew that Dean hated body odor. He was always one for good personal hygiene, rather he be human or demon, the end of civilization or not.

Sam was one step ahead of him. Dean had taught him well.

Standing up slowly, Dean grunted when the pain in his arm flared up. Sam was next to him instantly.

"Here, let me help."

"I'm not letting you undress me Sam!"

"I'll just help you get out of your shirt, you jerk."

Dean ended up being grateful for his brother's help, although he'd never admit it. With the pain and stiffness, there was no way he'd have been able to remove his arm from the sling and then pull his shirt over his head. He took a much needed bath in the jacuzzi, staying in there for over an hour before Sam started pounding on the door.

"You're going to turn into a prune!"

Dean rolled his eyes, knowing that Sam understood he was staying in here to avoid talking to him. He reluctantly got out and put some pants on, grabbing his shirt and going back into the bedroom, he threw the piece of clothing at Sam.

"Glad to know I'm appreciated," Sam muttered, helping Dean back into his shirt and placing his arm gently back into the sling.

Wanting some fresh air, but not wanting to interact with anyone, Dean started walking over to the balcony attached to his bedroom.

"Where are you going?" Sam asked, beginning to follow him.

"Gonna sit outside in the sun."

"Dean, we really do need to talk…,"

Without even meaning to, Dean spun around, glaring at Sam. "Don't you get it? I don't want to talk to you!"

Dean immediately regretted it when he saw the heartbroken expression on his brother's face. It didn't last long however, replaced by anger. "This is the same shit that got us into this mess in the first place!" Sam yelled, matching Dean's tone. "Not communicating with each other! I can't have that happen again, I can't lose you!"

Dean was taken aback by the amount of desperation in his little brother's voice. He locked eyes with Sam and saw that his vision was swimming with unshed tears. Swallowing, Dean noticed that he was getting choked up himself. Damn it, was he really that weak of a demon? Just like Alastair had said…

Dean felt that final wall that he had been building up falling apart. It was like a break in a dam…

"Sammy…," he choked out, feeling hatred and embarrassment toward himself over being so pathetic. He clenched his good hand in his wet hair, pulling at it in frustration.

"Dean, hey…" Sam's soft voice called out to him and Dean suddenly felt gentle but giant hands cupping his face. "It's okay. Just talk to me. Whatever's hurting you, you're not going to have to go through it alone, okay?"

"That's the problem!" Dean growled. "I shouldn't be hurting! What kind of demon goes through all these emotional problems? I'm weak!"

"Dean Winchester does. You have feelings Dean and that's good, that's freaking amazing. That's a far, far cry from being weak." Sam moved his hand to Dean's back and started pushing him to the balcony door. "Come on, let's sit outside."

Once he was outside, Dean sat down on the edge of one of the lounge chairs and let the sun and breeze calm him. He could hear birds happily chirping as they flew overhead and the kids laughing while they played in the pool. It was peaceful and he felt himself enjoying it. What other demon would take peace and happiness over chaos and murder? Not that those things weren't fun but…Dean appreciated things that other demons wouldn't. There were benefits to having feelings, he tried to remind himself.

"What did he tell you?" Sam asked, sitting down on the long chair next to Dean.

"That I'm amazing and didn't deserve anything he did to me," Dean chuckled. Did Sam honestly think he would spill everything that was said to him? All the manipulative taunting and mocking Alastair put him through?

"Well, that is true, just so you know." Sam smiled sadly at his comment and then sighed. "I know it wasn't all physical torture."

Dean shook his head. "That's the thing Sammy, he didn't start with the physical crap until the end. And I can handle that no problem. It was the messing with my head…I shouldn't have let it get to me like I did…"

"You were in a bad place when he took you, of course it was going to affect you. I mean, even before the journal, you seemed really on edge."

"I was in a bad place because of you!"

Sam looked taken aback. "Dean…," he started, sounding incredibly hurt and confused. Shit, he had to hurry before Sam got the wrong idea.

"That sounded bad. I mean…I was in a bad mood because you were in a bad mood."

Sam cocked his head to the side, still looking a bit offended. "When was I in a bad mood?"

"All the time! And I'm not saying this to be an ass Sammy. You were just always…sad and thinking all these depressing thoughts and I was getting pissed because I couldn't help you. I felt like I wasn't enough for you to be happy."

Dean watched as Sam's mouth dropped open. "Dean…no. Why didn't you tell me this earlier?"

"And how was I supposed to bring it up? If I told you to stop being depressed, do you know how shitty that would sound, even from me? I can't force you to feel a certain way. I only hoped you would eventually snap out of it."

"I should have realized," Sam said quietly. "Everything you do is for me…of course your emotions are tied to mine." He looked up, staring Dean down. "You know that's not true. You know that having you as a brother makes me happy. I'm just…moody."

"Hell, I'm moody too. You know that. I just…I can't stand seeing you like that Sam. It's my job to make sure you're safe and happy and if I can't help you…."

"You do help me Dean. Having you around is more than I deserve and I don't need anything else. I just….got stuck in the way things used to be. But they're materialistic things. And…I can't save everyone. I can't change the past and it's not my fault they died. I get that now. I'm…I just need you to stick around, okay? No more getting captured by psycho demons."

Dean couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah, I don't think we'll have to worry about that for a while. " He took in Sam's words, the sincere look on his face. He remembered their dream world and how Sam had clung to him and wasn't disgusted by his true form. And just recently, Sam refused to leave his side after he'd been injured and they were reunited.

Sam smiled back. "Just let me know what you're feeling, ask me straight out if you're confused. And I'll do a better job with the same thing. I'll talk to you instead of moping around and keeping it to myself. "

Dean really did need to give Sam more credit.

"I'll take your word for it Sammy." Dean stood up, walking over to the balcony and looking down at the kids playing and the adults who were doing anything from kicking a soccer ball around, to practicing knife throwing. He looked at Sam and gestured to the people down below, remembering what Alastair had said about Dean never belonging anywhere but Hell. "Just tell me this...how the hell am I ever going to fit in with that?"

Sam joined his brother, giving him a quizzical look. "Dean...those are your friends."

Dean scoffed, letting out a sharp laugh. "Sam, the only friend I have is you. Maybe Bobby."

"Definitely Bobby, Dean. And you know Marcy loves you, as well as Aiden. Carl practically worships you after you saved him, and Jo always liked you. Ellen isn't afraid of you anymore and everyone else...Dean...can't you see it? They like you."

"Yeah, that's why no one interacts with me."

"They try Dean! They give up because you act like a cocky asshole!"

"I'm a demon!" Dean glared at his brother, outraged.

"That's exactly what I'm talking about! People try to talk to you and get closer to you, and you start acting all smug, reminding them that you're a demon. They're trying to treat you equally...but when you keep telling them what you are, they start to wonder if it's a warning."

"But I AM a demon!"

"Yes, and they all know that. You don't need to keep shoving it in their faces because then, I think they start to believe there's a reason why you're doing that. It's almost as if you're telling them to treat you differently."

Huh. Dean went to protest but he found that he didn't have any counter argument. Sam had a very valid point, and he was probably right. Dean kept insisting to these people that he was different, yet when he kept yelling the 'I'm a demon' card in their faces...it was as if he was saying he wasn't just like the rest of them.

"Just open up a bit Dean," Sam continued. "Let them see Dean and not just the demon. The glimpses of your personality that they see, they like. I'm not saying you have to stop being a grump or an annoying jerk because hey...that's who you are..." Sam laughed when Dean swatted at him. "Just...don't be so closed off, relax a bit and don't think everyone is out to get you."

Dean nodded once, looking back toward the humans that congregated below. "Okay."

"Okay? That's it?"

"Dude, aren't you happy I'm not arguing with you?"

"I just...it's not like you, is all."

"Well, I'm just listening to what you said. Trying to communicate better and trust in what you tell me." Dean shrugged his good shoulder. "I don't want what happened before to happen again."

Sam full out grinned, dimples and all. It was a pretty amazing, yet dorky, sight. "It won't, not if we continue to do what we're doing. I just want to know...and please be honest with me Dean...I want to know if you're happy here. Or if you'd be happy leaving here with me."

"Sam I..."

"And don't say what you think is best for me, or what I want to hear. I want to know what you want. I haven't been taking your feelings into consideration lately, and that's not right."

"Shut up you stupid ass, I like it here," Dean said, shocking himself when he realized it was true.

He used to hate being around a bunch of people, wanted him and Sam to always be on their own. The thought of communicating with anyone other than his brother would make him feel uncomfortable.

It still did a bit...and that feeling probably wouldn't ever go away. But Dean felt himself actually liking the thought of having a group of people that knew what he was and supported him. He didn't have to pretend to be anything or anyone else, and he had Sam by his side to top it all off.

"I don't want to leave." Dean told his brother honestly.

"Really?" Sam asked, sounding surprised and hopeful at the same time.

"I mean come on, who would say no to having Marcy's cooking and memory foam mattresses every day?" Dean smirked. Cheesy conversations like this still didn't sit well with him, but he found he could suffer through them a tiny bit...but not for long.

Sam shook his head fondly. "Don't forget your precious jacuzzi."

"Damn, how could I have forgotten that!" Dean shook his head in self-disappointment.

Sam sighed happily. "I'm glad you're back."

Luckily, before Dean had to deal with Sam's chick-click moment, one of the kids caught his eye from the pool.

"DEAN! You're back! Come down and play!"

It was Aiden, of course.

A chorus of Dean!s filled the air, as well as mentions of the kids missing him and asking if he felt better. Heh, it was actually a little cute, in a disgusting sort of way.

"Keep it down, you brats!" Dean shouted. He noticed how the adults were looking up at him too, shaking their heads and laughing. Some of them called for him to come down as well.

"Well..." Sam chuckled. "Looks like you've got no choice, want to go outside? Don't worry, I'll protect you from being trampled by the kids."

Dean wanted to...or a part of him did...but the thought also exhausted him...and made him a bit nervous.

"I...Sam...not yet..."

Sam seemed to understand, although he looked a bit upset. "It's okay, we'll stay and watch movies until you're ready."

"No. You get down there. Go have fun, Sammy. I know you don't want to be cooped up in this room with an annoying injured demon."

Sam shook his head. "I'm not leaving you."

"Dude, I'm fine. I'm safe. I'm just going to be sleeping anyway, go out there and let everyone know I'm fine before they break down our door to check on us."

Sam sighed and Dean felt bad for not joining his brother but...he just couldn't...not right now...he needed time to process everything that Sam had told him. It left him feeling exhausted.

But he did feel better. There was just one more thing nagging him...worrying him.. But Sam wasn't bringing it up like Dean expected, so he kept it to himself.

Sam still didn't move, so Dean reached out with his powers, and shoved Sam toward the room. "Get moving before I decide to fling you off this balcony!"

Sam laughed, but it sounded half-hearted.

As soon as his brother reluctantly left, Dean allowed his mind to wander.

What if his psycho freak out on Alastair's body was a sign? What if it was exactly what the white-eyed demon had wanted, and it would only be a matter of time before he lost it for good?

And after the group seeing him like that, would they honestly be able to trust him? Had he ruined any progress he had made in those relationships?

It sucked that his good mood could only last so long.

Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please let me know what you thought if you have the time.