Chapter 26- Bittersweet

/ˈbidərˌswēt/ noun. pleasure mingled with pain or regret.

Steve looked in the rear view mirror, smiling as he saw Bucky making funny faces at Jamie. The toddler was in the midst of a laughing fit, finding everything Bucky did absolutely hilarious. He looked over at Bethany who was also looking through the mirror at their son, with her own smile on her face. It was a bittersweet moment. He had his two best friends, his wife and his child all together. Jamie was laughing. Bucky was calm. Bethany was pregnant. Steve was at peace.

But it wouldn't last for long.

Pulling into an underpass, Steve reached over for Bethany's hand. Sharon's car was parked a few feet in front of them. Steve added this to the list of things he owed Sharon Carter. The woman was going above and beyond to help him. But it wasn't just her he'd owe. He was asking a lot from his friends. He was asking them to risk their lives, their freedom, in order to follow him on a hunch. But they agreed. Without question. Steve was honored, but also felt the responsibility on his shoulders.

"Okay, it's time," Steve told Bethany. Their eyes met and she nodded, her jaw clenched in an obvious attempt to hide her emotions. He was grateful. The moment she broke down was the moment he did as well. He knew this would all be easier without Bethany or Jamie in the picture. But the fight for his life wouldn't mean as much without them. If he had awoken in a world without Bethany, he would be lost.

The couple got out of the car, Steve opening to van door to where Jamie was sitting. Steve freed Jamie from his car seat, handing the toddler over to Bethany before removing the car seat from the van entirely. "I'll only be a minute," he told Sam and Bucky, but both men simultaneously told Steve not to hurry back.

"Never thought I'd see you drive a mini van," Sharon teased the couple as she moved to the trunk of her car.

"Top-secret missions with a toddler requires some creativity," Bethany defended as they reached their blonde friend.

"So did getting these back," Sharon enlightened, opening her trunk. Inside was both Sam and Steve's gear.

"I owe you big-time Sharon," Steve breathed, dropping Jamie's car seat beside her car.

"I'm keeping a list," Sharon promised with a chuckle, looking at the mini van again. "You know, he kinda tried to kill me."

"Yeah, he does that sometimes," Bethany shared.

"They're going come looking for you," Steve quickly reminded Sharon.

"I know," Sharon said with ease. "I'll give you three a moment."

They watched as Sharon got into the front seat of the car, giving them as much privacy as she could. Steve let out a deep sigh, looking at Bethany for one last look of reassurance, which she granted him. "This is what's right, Steve."

"I know," he agreed. "But it feels wrong. It feels wrong leaving you like this."
"I'll be fine," she promised. "I can take care of myself."

"I know you can," Steve smiled. "You're the most capable woman I know."

"Just remember where to find us when this is all over," she whispered, stepping in closer.

Steve pulled Bethany, and therefore also Jamie, into his arms. He took in a deep breath of air, letting the scent of her whirl into his nose. It was, once again, a bittersweet moment. He repeated the coordinates of their meeting place to her. "I know I've made a lot of promises I can't keep, but finding you afterwards… I promise I'll do it."

"I know," Bethany whispered, her cheek against his chest. "I know you will. Because I know you love me. And you love Jamie. Do you ever wonder if we'll ever live a normal life?"

"I hope so," Steve admitted quietly. "I'm sorry it took me so long to realize that's what I want."

"Well, it took me even longer," Bethany chuckled. "Sometimes it takes not having someone, or the risk of not having them to put things into perspective."

"Just remember that I love you," Steve stressed. "That will never change."

"I love you too," she responded, looking up to him. He gave her a watery smile, knowing that those words were once so difficult for her to say. There was a time when they were so different. When Bethany's hard-headedness was used against him, not for him. When she would constantly change her mind about what she wanted. When she would break his heart.

But Steve had been patient. He let his instincts about her, about their future keeping him from leaving her. He forced himself to wait. To allow Bethany to find her own way. And she did. From when he first met her, to after he woke from the ice until now, she was the same, but different. She was better. She still went on rambles, teased and flirted with him endlessly. She still gave him that smile that was only meant for him. And above it all, she was his friend. He could tell her anything and know that she'd still love him. She had turned exactly into the person she had been afraid of all those years ago, but she did it willingly. Nothing made Steve believe that Bethany didn't love her new life. And now that she was ready for their future, one that he wanted with her seventy-years-ago, he was the one getting in the way of them actually getting it.

He leaned down, kissing her deeply, needing to convey just how strongly he felt about her. How much he loved her. How much he was sorry. He felt like he couldn't put any of it into words. His heart clenched and then soared when Bethany's hand moved up to his neck, holding him close. Steve could feel in her kiss how much she loved him back and that she meant what she said; she would wait. He hated that he was going to make her wait, especially now with a second child on the way.

"You don't do anything stupid, you hear me Rogers?" Bethany demanded when their lips parted, their foreheads still touching. "You don't leave me alone in this world again."

"I wouldn't dream of it," he whispered, giving her another kiss. He could his tears start to build up, his emotions going into overdrive but he did everything he could to keep strong. He knew she was doing the same in return.

"Alright kiddo," Steve spoke to Jamie, his heart breaking a little, when he broke from Bethany's kiss. "Daddy is going away for a little while, so I need you to be good, okay? Be good for Mumma."

"Okay, Daddy," Jamie agreed, playing with his chubby little fingers. Steve didn't know if Jamie understood what was happening, or if Jamie understood what Steve was asking of him, but Steve knew that his son would quickly catch onto Steve's absence.

"I love you, Munchkin," Steve whispered, on the verge of tears. He had to avoid looking at Jamie or Bethany, knowing that if he met their eyes, it would be game over. Without looking, he kissed Jamie's head and then Bethany's before taking the gear from Sharon's trunk and walking away.

Bethany was not a stranger to heartbreak. It seemed like her entire life was a giant story of how if you loved someone, bad things would happen. But she knew how to get through it. She conquered everything the world threw at her. Steve's 1940s suicide mission, bipolar disorder, depression, Howard's death, the falling of SHIELD, Jamie's kidnapping. And now, having to say goodbye to her husband for an undisclosed period of time.

She hated saying goodbye to Steve. She always had and always would. From the first time she watched him leave on a mission with the Howling Commandos until watching as his car disappeared in the rear view mirror of Sharon's car, she felt the same way. It was as if all her nerve endings were being held to a flame; they were alive and wild. Her heart ached for his return already. And what terrified her was she had no idea if she would ever see him again.

Bethany had returned to the Joint Counter Terrorism Centre where Sharon quickly helped Bethany board the quinjet that Sharon, Sam and Steve had previous flown to Vienna. Sharon had brought it to Berlin when she was called back to the JCTC but hadn't told anyone about it. This would help Bethany slip away without anyone noticing, as Natasha and Tony still had another quinjet in Berlin. The women said their goodbyes, Bethany knowing that she owed Sharon her entire world for sacrificing so much for Steve, before the mother and son finally headed home. As soon as it was just Jamie and Bethany, she felt herself crumble.

With shaky hands and a tear stained face, Jamie squirming in her lap, she took off. She loved her son and their unborn child, but she knew that in a world without them, she would be with Steve right now. She wouldn't be wondering about what he was doing or if he was safe. If he was alive. She would know because she would be there.

It only took thirty seconds before Jamie started to cry. But not because he understood that he might not see Steve again, or because his mother was visibly upset. No. It was because he hated to fly. His cries, his screams, his kicking on Bethany's lap only made everything worse. On the way down, Steve had held Jamie in his arms, keeping his flailing limbs from moving too fast or forcefully. Bethany was strong, but not nearly as strong as Steve. She couldn't keep the crying toddler still as he threw a tantrum.

She had told Natasha that she could be a single mother. And of course she could. Any woman could. But there was the fact that having a partner, having a Steve, made it easier. When she was lacking strength, lacking the patience to deal with Jamie, she could lean on him. These coming months were going to be hard on her, whether Steve was there to help her or not. She thought of her pregnancy with Jamie, remembering the morning sickness, the physical pain and emotional struggle she dealt with every day. How was she supposed to do that, with the added emotional pain of Steve's absence and a toddler?

But Bethany knew, that if it came down to it, like every other single mother in the world, she'd do what was best for her kids. Which would start with giving Jamie a bath as soon as they got home instead of passing out on her bed, which is what she ultimately wanted to do.

When Steve had got back into the van, no one said a word. He was grateful for his friends' silence. The last thing he needed right now was to talk about how he felt. Or talk at all. Walking away from his family was the hardest thing he ever had to do. It didn't make it any easier that Bethany had told him to go, that she understood and had faith in him. He didn't know when he was going to see them again. Didn't know if he was going to miss the birth of his child or Jamie's next birthday. He just knew he already missed them and was hell-bent on getting back to them as soon as he possibly could.

Driving up to the sixth level of the Leipzieg and Halle airport parking garage, Steve parked the van a few spots down from a blank service van before getting out. "Cap," Clint greeted him pleasantly.

"You know I wouldn't have called you if I had any other choice," Steve started with, holding out a hand of thanks for Clint to shake.

"Hey man, you're doing me a favour," Clint promised before looking back at Wanda. "Besides, I owe a debt."

"Thanks for having my back," Steve said to Wanda, knowing that her being here was a huge step.

"It was time to get off my ass," Wanda allowed, arms crossed but attitude light enough to show she had no hostility to being there.

"How about our other recruit?" Steve asked, thinking about the man Sam had called to the plate.

"He rarin' to go," Clint assured Steve, moving to open the side door of the van. "Had to put a little coffee in him but… he should be good."

Scott woke with a start at the loud clang the van door made. The man climbed out of the van, squinting his eyes with fatigue. "What time zone is this?"

"Come on. Come on," Clint prompted him, giving Scott a little push towards Steve.

"Ca-Captain America," Scott said enthusiastically as he reached out to take Steve's hand.

"Mr. Lang," Steve greeted as Scott continued to aggressively shake Steve's hand.

"It's an honor," Scott said a little breathless. "I'm shaking your hand too long," he noted before letting Steve's hand go. "Wow! This is awesome." He looked back at Wanda excitedly, pointing to Steve. "Captain America," he told her before continuing. "I know you too. You're great!"

Steve didn't miss the smile Wanda gave Scott, clearly feeling better about herself knowing that this man, this strange man that was about to help them, was not just a fan of Steve, but a fan of her as well. Scott, still overwhelmed, looked back at Steve before grasping his shoulders. "Jeez," Scott exhaled. Steve turned back to look at Sam with an amused smile on his face. The reaction Steve was getting from Scott was very similar to the reaction he first had when he got out of the pod.

"Ah, look," Scott kept on taking, his excitement still evident. "I wanna say, I know you know a lot of super people so… thinks for thanking of me."

Steve couldn't help but smile at Scott butchering up his sentence, the overwhelmed man sending a greeting out to Sam. "What's up Tic Tac?"

"Uh, good to see you. Look, what happened last time when-"

"It was a great audition, but it'll… it'll never happen again," Sam interrupted, unwilling to let the entire team in on whatever Scott was talking about.

"They tell you what we're up against?" Steve asked, needing to know that Scott understood the full ramifications of what was about to play out.

"Something about some… psycho-assassins?" Scott answered.

"We're outside the law on this one," Steve continued. "So, if you come with us, you're a wanted man."

"Yeah, well, what else is new?" Scott replied with ease. "No Mrs. Captain America?"

"No Mrs. Captain America," Steve confirmed.

"She's not on the other side, right? Cause that would be awkward."

"That would be," Steve agreed with a smirk. "No, she can't fight right now. We're having another baby."

Steve knew that he and Bethany agreed to not tell anyone, but it was evident that it wasn't really a choice anymore. Bethany had already told Bucky and Sam, and apparently Natasha knew as well. It wouldn't be long before she told Tony. Why not tell the rest of the group? "Steve, that's great," Wanda said with a smile.

"Hey, man, congrats," Clint added.

Steve gave them all a soft smile and a light shrug. "Not exactly the circumstances we were hoping to share the news, but you get what you get."

"That's awesome!" Scott chimed in, pulling Steve in for a very awkward hug. "I have a kid too. Cassie. She's great. Kids are great."

"We should get moving," Bucky informed the group suddenly, picking the perfect moment to save Steve from having to talk anymore about the family he may never see again.

"We got a chopper lined up," Clint told Steve before an alarm and announcement sounded within the parking garage, causing everyone to look around.

"They're evacuating the airport," Bucky explained.

"Stark," Sam muttered to Steve.

"Stark?" Scott asked, picking up Sam's comment.

Steve looked at his recruits, knowing that they were his best chance at getting this all done. At saving the world. And at getting home to his family.

"Suit up."

Not wanting to talk or deal with anyone at the Facility, Bethany flew past the landing station and went straight for the house. She landed the quinjet right in front of the big tree that stood before their house, closing her eyes for a moment of silence as Jamie finally stopped wailing. She had tried everything to get him to stop. Singing, dancing, begging. It was clear that Jamie was determined to howl at the top of his lungs until they landed, which was exactly what he did.

On top of being tired, sore, nauseated and a little heartbroken and lonely, she also had a headache from Jamie's tantrum. All of this kept her off her guard as she picked up her son and made her way into the house. It was only after taking off Jamie's shoes did she realize that they weren't alone. Bethany looked at Jamie, raising a finger up to her lips. Jamie copied the gestured, having long ago learning the universal signal for 'shush'. Bethany placed him down, looking around for a weapon she could use. There was nothing. As an typical parent of a toddler should, all sharp and dangerous objects had been placed away where Jamie couldn't reach them. Bethany looked at her discarded heels from last week, sighing slightly. They were her only option.

Picking up one, Bethany carefully sneaked into the house. She could hear someone moving around in the kitchen. Casting a quick look at Jamie, who was watching his mother with curiosity, she swung around the corner.

"God damn it!" Kiley yelled, the contents of her mug spilling on the floor as the young woman jumped in terror when she saw Bethany.

"Kiley," Bethany stated, lowering her heel. "What are you doing here?"

"I was watching your cat," Kiley replied, her eyes still wide, a hand resting over her rapidly beating heart. "My god, Bethany. What were you going to do, beat me with a stiletto?"

Bethany looked at the shoe in her hand before shrugging. "I've taken down full-grown men with less."

"Well, I'm glad you looked before attacking then," Kiley admitted, putting her now empty mug down on the counter. Bethany gave her friend a sheepish look before moving to pull out the dry mop from the kitchen pantry door, noting that Jamie had already wandered over to his toys.

As Bethany cleaned up the spilled tea, Kiley began to boil some more water. Bethany, now knowing that there was no danger in her house, could barely keep her eyes open. She sat at the kitchen table, accepting her tea and sipping it cautiously. She knew that Kiley was waiting for her friend to tell her what had happened. What was happening. Summoning up her strength, the last bit of energy she had, she began to tell Kiley everything.

The blonde listened carefully, asking no questions as Bethany relived the last few days. Peggy's funeral. The signing. The bombing. Everything that happened with Bucky. And now, waiting to find out if Steve would succeed or not. Through it all, Kiley said nothing, her face showing nothing, fighting some of her own demons as she no doubt relived her time with Bucky, forming her own opinions on the situation and realizing that her could-be lover was now working with her current-boyfriend. The entire situation was a Shakespearian play.

"So now we wait," Bethany whispered as a conclusion, offering Kiley the smallest of smiles. Bethany had started to cry while sharing her story. And not just small tears streaming down her face, but full body sobs. Bethany had done all that she could. She had been strong for Steve. And now Steve wasn't here. She could let the gates open. Bethany knew that she had been acting like everything was going to be fine and she wasn't so sure of that. But she wanted Steve to believe that. She needed Steve to believe that. Because her seeing him again was resting solely on whether or not he could pull all this off.

"I'm so tired," Bethany admitted with a sob. "And it's not even over. But there's nothing I can do but wait."

"You should get some rest," Kiley finally spoke up, the first time in almost twenty minutes. "Build up your strength. That's what you need to do because it's all you can do at this point. You build up your energy and you find a way to get your family together."

Bethany had conveniently kept the information about her and Steve's meeting spot out of her story. While Bethany trusted Kiley, she knew that the world was cruel and that Kiley was too soft. It would be all too easy for someone to get the information from Kiley. It didn't matter how the woman felt about the Accords. That information was going to stay between Bethany and Steve.

"Jamie needs a bath," Bethany explained, shaking her head. "I might not be able to help Steve, but I can still be a mother. And my son needs a bath and clean clothes. And real food."

"I can do that," Kiley promised, reaching out to take Bethany's hand. "Just because you can do this alone doesn't mean you should. You're having a hard time right now. Accept help."

"Kiley," Bethany began under her breath. "This isn't just a hard time for me. It is for you too."

"I understand why you would say that," Kiley nodded. "But it's not the same. Sam and I are not you and Steve. We're not married or have kids. I don't even know if we're in love. I love him. But I'm not sure if I'm in love yet. And you and Steve are the definition of in love."

Bethany went to open her mouth, to remind Kiley of Bucky, but as soon as she did, her nausea overwhelmed her. Snapping her mouth closed again, Bethany shut her eyes firmly, willing the uneasiness to go away. But as soon as she shut her eyes, her exhaustion began to gnaw at her. "I need to lie down," Bethany whispered.

She could vaguely hear Kiley telling her to go upstairs and that she would take care of Jamie, Bethany doing just that. She slowly moved up the stairs, towards her bedroom and into the master bathroom. She kneeled in front of the toilet, raising the cover and seat before leaning her head over the bowl. As her body convulsed, acid rising into her mouth as her morning sickness got the better of her, Bethany continued to sob.

The bathroom smelled of Steve's aftershave.

The second that Steve said goodbye to Bethany and Jamie, he had begun to devise a plan. He needed it to be perfect. There was no room for error. Him failing had severe consequences, not just for the world, but for his family. But then again, doesn't it always? Steve had asked himself. And he knew the answer to that was a resounding 'yes'.

He hated it. He absolutely hated it. Once upon a time, all he wanted was to end the war. To get married to Bethany and have lots of babies. But here he was, seventy plus years later, in another war. It didn't matter that he was married and he had babies. He had gotten himself into another war. A civil war. One where his friends and family where on opposite sides of the battlefield. He couldn't help but wonder if Ultron had been right; could he live without a war?

He wanted to. While he couldn't turn away from something going south, here he was, trying to fix something that was going south and it felt wrong. Because he knew that he was putting his family on the line. And a decision like this, it wasn't clear whether it was selfish or selfless.

The plan in motion, knowing that Tony and no doubt backup would be appearing, Steve spotted the grounded chopper Clint had eluded to earlier. They also knew that because Tony was there, there was bound to be a quinjet around. They just had to find it. Steve quickly made his way over to the chopper, only stopping when an electronic disabler attached itself to the chopper, disabling its ability to operate. Steve looked up, already knowing who had sent it. Moments later, Tony and Rhodey flew down and landed in front of him.

"Wow, it's so weird how you run into people at the airport," Tony stated sarcastically, lowering his helmet to reveal a nasty black eye. "Don't you think that's weird?"

"Definitely weird," Rhodey played along.

"Hear me out, Tony," Steve attempted, not knowing if his friend would actually listen or not. "That doctor, the psychiatrist, he's being all of this."

Steve's gaze moved slightly as another figure caught his eye. T'Challa, dressed in his Black Panther armour, leaped over a truck and landed in front of him. "Captain," he greeted plainly.

"Your highness," Steve replied, bowing his head slightly.

"Anyway," Tony continued, moving to the other side of Rhodey. "Ross gave me thirty-six hours to bring you in. That was twenty-four hours ago. Can you help a brother out?"

"You're after the wrong guy," Steve informed him.

"Your judgment is askew," Tony spat. "Your old war buddy killed innocent people yesterday."

"And there are five more super soldiers just like him," Steve warned. "I can't let the doctor find them first, Tony. I can't."

"Steve," Natasha spoke up, appearing from what seemed like thin air. Steve was very aware that he was pretty much surrounded by the other side at this point. It was clear that they had a plan made as well. But luckily for him, Steve had backup ready to move. "You know what's about to happen. Do you really wanna punch your way out of this one? Do you really want to risk it all?"

Steve knew Natasha's strategy relied on him caving because of Bethany and Jamie, but Stev also knew that this went beyond his family. Which is why he was there in the first place.

"Alright, I've run out of patience," Tony decided. "Underroos!"

Steve frowned slightly but then felt a force from above yank on his arm, his shield flying away from him before his hands were bound instantly. Steve pulled them slightly, confused at the substance. "Nice job, kid," Tony congratulated his new recruit.

Steve looked up to see a man—a boy—in a red suit with black webbing and a spider donned on the chest. "Thanks," the recruit spoke, his voice revealing just how young the kid was. It immediately angered Steve. "Well, I could've stuck the landing a little better. It's just the new suit… well, it's nothing, Mr. Stark. It's-it's perfect. Thank you," the kid rambled.

"Yeah, we don't really need to start a conversation," Tony informed him.

"Okay. Cap-Captain," the boy greeted, giving him a salute. "Big fan, I'm Spider-Man."

"Yeah, we'll talk about it later. Just-"

"Hey everyone," Spider-Man added, making Steve's heartache a little. This kid was green. He was so brand new to the game that it seemed unfair. All Steve could think about was how this Spider-Man could be Jamie in the future. How did this kid's parents feel about this? And what if something happened to him?

"You've been busy," Steve stated.

"And you've been a complete idiot," Tony threw back harshly, catching Steve slightly off guard. "Dragging in Clint. 'Rescuing' Wanda from a place she doesn't even want to leave, a safe place. I'm trying to keep… I'm trying to keep you from tearing the Avengers apart."

"You did that when you signed," Steve replied.

"What about your family?" Tony threw back. "You're tearing them apart, and that has nothing to do with me signing."

"I'm doing this so my family can be free," Steve shared, maintaining his cool. "Tony, I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't think it was for the best. And believe me, I've thought about it. I wouldn't just leave them without knowing it was the right thing."

Steve's words, however, didn't slow Tony's anger. "Alright, I'm done," Tony announced. "You're gonna turn Barnes over, you're gonna come with us. NOW! Because it's us! Or a squad of J-SOC guys with no compunction about being impolite."

Steve looked to his right, waiting for Sam's signal. He could tell that Tony was two seconds away from losing his shit the same way Banner did.

"We found it," Sam broadcasted. "Their quinjet's in hanger five, north runway."

Steve raised his hands above his head, watching as Tony's facial expression changed in a moment from anger to disappointment. Steve wasn't just going to go with them with his tail tucked between his legs. Steve felt the pressure from whatever was binding his hands loosen as Clint's arrow soared through the material. Tony's helmet immediately popped back on as he watched Clint's arrow fly past Spider-Man. "Alright, Lang," Steve said, cueing up his own new recruit.

"Hey guys, something-" Spider-Man began before Lang sized up, kicking the boy in the face and taking back the shield.

"Whoa, what-what the hell was that?" Rhodey asked as Scott took his place beside Steve.

"I believe this is yours, Captain America," Scott announced proudly, handing Steve his shield back.

"Aw, great," Tony mumbled before sharing his intel with his team. "Alright, there's two on the parking deck. One of them is Maximoff. I'm gonna grab her. Rhodey, you wanna take Cap?"

Steve watched as Tony flew up in pursuit of Wanda, keeping a smile to himself. He knew that Tony wouldn't be able to resist Wanda now that she was so delicately intertwined into the Accords.

"Got two in the terminal," Rhodey informed the group, as he lifted himself into the air. "Wilson and Barnes."

"Barnes is mine!" Steve heard as T'Challa took off, Steve throwing his shield at Rhodey before taking off after T'Challa. The man was fast, but Steve could keep up, throwing his shield against the man to slow him down. The battle at hand wouldn't be easy, but Steve had more on the line than anyone else. He wasn't about to let it all slip through his fingers like sand. As he moved forward to fight the Wakandan King, Steve repeated the coordinates to himself, fueling his drive to win even more.

**A/N: *insert battle scene here*

Purplestan: Oh, I'll have Bethany and Bucky talking again at some point :)

Jo: LOL don't worry, a lot of people had issues with the ending, myself included. I'll have fluff ready between Civil War and Infinity War!

anonymouscsifan: Yeah, the movie definitely effected a lot of people's feels haha. I'm looking forward to writing it, even though it'll be painful.