Chapter 26

Dean flew down the highway, enjoying the fresh air in his nostrils and the wind blowing through his hair. After a few cigarettes, he rolled the window half-way back up, running his fingers through his hair. "I need a haircut."

"I kinda like it," Cas said.

"Thanks," Dean replied.

"Did you just... take a compliment?" Cas said, laughing in disbelief.

Dean thought for a moment. "I guess I did." He flashed a toothy grin at Cas, who laughed again.

They pulled into Cas' driveway and headed inside. "Where are your jeans?" Cas asked as he closed and locked the door behind them.

"The car."

"No, I mean, why aren't you wearing them? You're wearing the rest of your clothes." He closed the gap between them, snaking his arms around Dean's waist.

Dean's face grew red. "Uhh... honestly?" He paused, then sighed. "All four of my meds have a side effect of weight gain." He frowned. The two he had been on for the past month before his hospitalization had the same effect as well. "They were getting kinda tight anyway, so... they don't exactly fit anymore." He shrugged, trying to play it off like he didn't care.

Cas leaned his head into his chest. "I will get you new ones."

Dean placed his hand on the back of Cas' head and rested his chin in his hair. "Thank you."

Cas lifted his head up to kiss him. Dean kissed him back, and Cas pulled his hands around Dean's waist, gravitating for the front of his pants.

"Wait."

Cas stopped.

Dean sighed. "I want to, so bad, but... can we just smoke and talk first?" He bit his lip.

Cas smiled, letting his hands fall. "Of course."

Since Dean had spent the last seven days on lockdown, he wanted some fresh air, so they decided to walk down the trail. They stopped at the mall first, and Dean refused to walk around in hospital pants, so Cas ran in alone to grab him some pairs of jeans.

It was beautiful out, a cool sixty degrees with a slight breeze and just enough clouds in the sky. They arrived at the clearing and laid down in the grass, watching the clouds go by, passing their second joint back and forth.

"I am sooo stoned," Dean said.

Cas laughed. "Yeah, that'll happen when you don't smoke for a week." He paused. "So what did you want to talk about?"

Dean took a deep breath. "Everything. I mainly want to apologize for last week, and thank you for being so... level-headed." He turned his head to look at Cas, who turned his to look back. Dean frowned, looking into his eyes. "I never want to hurt you."

"I know," Cas said. "I forgive you."

Dean looked up at the sky again. "I also want to apologize for relapsing, after everything you did for me."

"I forgive you," Cas repeated, smiling slightly.

"And..." He swallowed nervously. "I want to apologize for- for not treating you the way I should... in public."

Cas hesitated. That one caught him off guard. "It's okay," he said quietly, returning his gaze skyward.

Dean rolled over and placed his hand on Cas' cheek. "No, it's not." Cas turned back to him and Dean ran his thumb over Cas' cheekbone. "And it's gonna change, I promise. Okay?"

Cas smiled, staring into the green eyes he missed so much. He noticed how much greener they were when they weren't clouded by inebriation. He leaned in to kiss Dean, placing his hand on his side. Dean kissed him back, bringing his fingers up to the side of Cas' neck. They made out for a few minutes before Dean pulled back.

"I still don't know what I did to deserve you," Dean said softly, brushing a bit of hair out of Cas' eyes and staring into them.

Cas just smiled and said, "I wonder the same thing."

Dean frowned. "I still don't get why you think I'm so great."

Cas stopped smiling. "If you could see yourself through my eyes, you would understand."

Dean was quiet for a moment, before leaning in to kiss Cas again.

"Let's go home," Cas said once Dean pulled back, his voice low and gravelly.

"Yeah," Dean said, pushing himself up off the ground. He extended a hand to Cas and helped him up, and they began walking back down the trail to the car.

Back in Cas' bedroom, Cas turned on the radio and they took a few hits from the bong. Cas took a particularly large one, placed the bong on the desk, and climbed on top of Dean, who was laying on the bed. He leaned down and kissed him, blowing the smoke into his mouth. He pulled back and grinned as Dean began coughing. Once he caught his breath, they began kissing again. Cas didn't waste any time, reaching down to undo Dean's jeans. Dean moved his hands from the side of Cas' face to his chest, yanking off his trench coat. They went back and forth for a minute, removing each other's many articles of clothing.

"Why do we wear so many fucking layers?" Dean muttered into Cas' mouth.

Cas pulled back, unbuttoning his dress shirt, the last article they were wearing besides boxers. "Fuck if I know." He threw the shirt to the floor and pulled Dean's boxers down, excited to see he was already fully erect. "Oh, how I missed you," he murmured.

Dean laughed, propping himself up on his elbows to look at Cas. "Me or my dick?"

"Both," Cas said, taking Dean in his hand and tugging lightly.

Dean let his head fall back, groaning. "Fuuuuck."

"So, tell me," Cas said conversationally, "have you not came at all since the last time? Or were you jacking it in the hospital?" He grinned.

Dean laughed, lifting his head. "Is that you trying to talk dirty?"

Cas shrugged, looking down at Dean's cock. He stopped his hand near the head, rubbing his thumb across the tip and looking up at Dean, a smile creeping across his face.

Dean shuddered, closing his eyes. "Y- yes. I did."

Cas grinned wider. "You're such a bad boy. Didn't you have a roommate?"

"Only the last two days..." Dean trailed off, letting out a small moan. "But he was fast asleep snoring. Fucker kept me up."

Cas laughed, picking up his speed. "So you did jack off with him in the room?" He clicked his tongue disapprovingly. "Just couldn't wait, huh?"

"No," Dean grunted through clenched teeth. It was so hot hearing Cas talk like this.

Cas leaned forward, still stroking his dick. "What were you thinking of that was so important?" he whispered in his ear.

"Fuck," Dean gasped as Cas' breath hit his ear, his face turning red. "You in that lingerie you wore on Halloween."

Cas leaned back, smiling mischievously. "You flatter me." He scooted backwards and leaned down, darting his tongue out to lap up the precome that was dribbling out of Dean.

Dean's hips twitched at the sensation. "Jesus christ, Cas," he breathed.

Cas wrapped his lips around the head, suckling lightly as his fingers massaged the base. Dean squirmed beneath him. Once he took all of Dean in his mouth, bobbing his head up and down rapidly, it wasn't long before Dean came into his mouth, gasping and twisting his fingers up in the blanket.

Cas pulled back and looked at Dean, licking his lips as he made eye contact. "Can you go again?" he asked eagerly.

Dean sighed contently and nodded. "Yeah, after a cigarette."

Cas' shoulders slumped, but he jumped off the bed and grabbed his pack of cigarettes out of the pocket of his trench coat, which was lying on the floor. He sat down next to Dean on the bed, legs crossed, puffing on his cigarette. Dean took slow drags, his eyes closed, reveling in his post-orgasm euphoria.

Cas hurriedly snuffed out his cigarette. "Come on," he said excitedly.

Dean reached over and snuffed his out as well before turning to Cas, leaning forward. He placed his fingers over his collarbone and leaned in, kissing him softly. Cas kissed him back eagerly, opening his mouth, and Dean quickly darted his tongue inside.

Dean leaned forward more, pushing Cas onto his back and climbing on top of him. He ran his hands down his torso, sticking his fingers underneath the waistband of his boxers and pulling them off. He then leaned forward and began nibbling on Cas' neck. He lingered longer on the last one, hoping to leave a mark, before moving down Cas' chest to his stomach, trailing kisses as he went. "Oh, Dean," Cas sighed.

Dean stopped at his navel and leaned back, taking his dick in his hand and tugging slowly. In all this time, he still hadn't taken Cas in his mouth. He was nervous, but he wanted to show Cas he appreciated everything he'd done for him in the past year, and he wanted to get past this apprehensiveness. He'd been with Cas for nearly a year- it was time to accept the fact he was in love with someone with a dick and just go with it.

He bent down and opened his mouth, flattening his tongue and running it along the underside of the shaft. Cas jerked and looked down. "Holy shit, Dean," he breathed. "I didn't... I didn't think you'd ever do this."

Dean didn't respond, he only swirled his tongue around the head a few times. He could taste the saltiness of Cas' precome, which he had been afraid would bother him, but it didn't. He raised his eyes to see Cas staring at the ceiling, his mouth open slightly. He lifted his head. "You okay?"

Cas jerked, turning to look at Dean, his eyes wide. "Yes. Very okay." He smiled nervously. "Your mouth is like heaven."

Dean smirked and lowered his head again, wrapping his lips around Cas' head and descending down as far as he could. Cas bucked his hips, groaning, causing Dean to gag when he hit the back of his throat. "Shit, I'm sorry-" Cas started.

Dean didn't respond, only continued. Cas let his head fall back again, his hips shuddering under Dean's touch. When Dean came up, slowly, dragging his teeth ever so slightly, Cas couldn't hold back anymore. "Dean, I'm gonna-" he started, trying to be polite and warn Dean, but before he could, his eyes slammed shut and he grunted through gritted teeth, coming hard into Dean's mouth.

As Dean leaned back, wiping his mouth on his arm, Cas re-opened his eyes to look at him. He let out a loud sigh. "Holy shit, Dean," he panted. "That was fucking amazing."

Dean smiled shyly and crawled up next to him. He leaned down and whispered in his ear, "Can I fuck you?"

Cas nodded dumbly.

Dean pulled back and scrambled off the bed to grab the lube from the desk drawer. He squeezed some onto his palm before lying down on top of Cas, kissing him again. Since his fingers were already coated with lube, he didn't waste any time inserting them. Cas wrapped his arms around Dean's shoulders, shuddering and sighing. Dean moved his fingers around slowly, randomly, before stroking his index finger up towards Cas' stomach. Cas whined, twitching and squirming beneath him. Dean let out a small laugh, grinning at the way Cas was coming undone beneath him. He removed his fingers and quickly stroked his dick, coating it lightly with lube. He then grabbed Cas' ass cheek, lining himself up and pushing himself in with a small grunt.

Cas reached out and grabbed the blanket, collecting as much as he could in his fists as Dean placed his hands on the bed on either side of him and began thrusting. "Oh, God..." he murmured, closing his eyes tightly. "Dean... harder," he panted.

Dean was happy to oblige with his bottom's request. He leaned back, reached down, and hooked his arms behind Cas' knees, lifting his legs up and thrusting harder. Cas moved his hips in rhythm with Dean's thrusting, seeing stars as Dean's cock rammed against his prostate.

"Fuck, Cas, you feel so good," Dean muttered through gritted teeth. "God..." He could feel the pressure building and it felt like his dick had a fucking heartbeat. He wanted to stop, to hold back and prolong this, but he couldn't. He dug his fingernails into Cas' thighs, thrusting harder until his cock began twitching and he came harder than he ever had before. Cas cried out, coming at the same time onto his stomach and chest.

Dean stopped moving, slowly lowering Cas' legs as they both shook slightly. As his dick stopped twitching and began to ache, he slowly slid out and collapsed onto his stomach beside Cas, letting out a long sigh. "Holy shit," he squeaked.

"Yeah," Cas breathed. "That was..." He blinked and shook his head. "I don't even know."

Dean lifted his head and noticed a towel draped over the bedpost behind Cas. He reached up and grabbed it, carefully wiping off Cas' chest. Cas closed his eyes and sighed contently. Dean tossed the towel on the floor and turned back to Cas. Cas opened his eyes and they stared at each other for a moment.

Dean couldn't help but think about how much different things were than not only a month ago, but a year ago. He was so thankful to have Cas, so happy Cas had told him how he felt that day, so grateful for everything he had done for him.

Cas stared back at him. "What?" he asked, smiling slightly.

Dean swallowed nervously. The words were on the tip of his tongue, and he wanted to say them so bad. He was one second from chickening out, but looking into Cas' big blue eyes, he just couldn't. He inhaled deeply. "I love you," he said softly.

He had never seen Cas smile so big in his life. He rolled over and threw his arm around him, pulling him closer and kissing him deeply. He then pulled back, only slightly, and whispered, "I love you too, Dean," before nuzzling his face into Dean's chest.