My heart broke on so many levels while writing this chapter.
Twenty Six
Maura had her arms wrapped around something. Her head rose and fell. As did the breathing she listened to. It smelled of lavender and she too was wrapped around strong arms. There were no words to describe it except for safe and loved. She moved her head up and instantly recognized whom she was trapped in. Jane It made sense. It was only in the arms and presence of Jane did she feel so loved, safe, and wanted. She smiled and snuggled her head into Jane's neck, where it fitted so perfectly. She took in the deepest of breaths; the smell of lavender, no, the smell of Jane, always calmed her down. The last thing she remembered was falling asleep with a smile.
Maura's internal alarm clock woke her up. Instead of rising slowly and begin her early stages of yoga, she staggered forward and felt breathless while her heart raced.
"I need air." She said. Upon removing her blankets and pillows and unbuttoning her pajamas to reveal a slight cleavage, she relaxed, only to be bombarded by Johnny and Arissa.
Wait, I'm not…I can't.
"Mommy! Guess what today is!" Johnny asked. His voice echoed throughout the room.
"Guess, mommy, guess!"
Forget about the dream. Just play along. She rubbed her eyes and yawned. "What is it? What's today?"
"Our birthday party!" they both yelled. Johnny climbed next to Maura while Arissa jumped at the edge of the bed.
"I can't wait to see the turtles!"
"Tortoise." Arissa emphasized. "Turtles live in the water! Tortoises live on land like Bass!"
I completely forgot about him. "Where is he? Did you feed him?"
"He's all good mommy. He was hiding under the couch last night!" Johnny changed the subject. "But I can't wait to eat cake and play games and play with all the animals!"
"Come on, mom!" Arissa tugged on Maura's leg. "Come on! We made you breakfast!"
We? Now she was really awake. "Who? You and Riss?"
"No! Tanner, me and Riss!" Johnny said.
"What? How did he get in?" Maura looked at the clock. 5:46 am. "What time did he come? Who let him in? What time did you wake up?"
The two kids began to drag Maura out of bed. "Mommy! Come on! Walk and talk!"
Maura held her kids on each hand listened to them talk.
"Bass actually woke us up. He kept thumping his head on the wall. He woke us up so early!"
"Then Tanner came five minutes ago." Johnny said. "He was knocking on the door."
"And you let him in?" Maura asked, nearly passing out.
"Yeah! He's not really…a stranger, mom."
Oh really? "Well, it smells wonderful." They turned into the kitchen. Johnny bolted to the stove. Tanner had his head buried in the fridge.
"Tanner!" Arissa yelled. Tanner hit his head on one of the compartments. He backed up to reveal toast in his mouth and several ingredients huddled in his arms. He tried to smile, but instead, he dropped the toast, causing the kids to laugh…causing Maura to smile.
What a dork, Maura thought. She watched Tanner drop in the ingredients on the counter. He picked up the toast on the ground and went to Maura and kissed her. Arissa went over to Johnny.
"Mornin' sweet pea." He said. "Eh, more like crack of the dawn. Anyways, eat up. I learned this recipe back in Italy. Their version of the French toast." He kissed Maura once more and faced the stove. "Hey Johnny, don't burn it!"
Maura sat in front of her food and recognized it immediately. It was Mozzarella in Carrozza, a dish not usually eaten during breakfast. I remember making this for J-. She choked on her first bite.
"Whoa there!" Tanner ran to pour Maura a glass of orange juice. He handed it to her. "You okay?"
Don't think about her. At all. "Yes…I'm fine. Thank you."
"Is it that bad?" he scratched his head. "I took cooking lessons!"
"No no! I just took in more than I could chew. It's really good!" Maura quickly sipped on her juice. Tanner returned to the kids.
Not a stranger, huh? She bit into the bread and watched her kids bond with Tanner. A few weeks ago, Johnny wouldn't even hug him and Riss didn't even want to be near him. Maura drank more juice. They must be nice because it's their birthday. Her thoughts were soon interrupted with what she saw. She set her fork and knife to the side before resting her head on her palm.
For the first time really, Johnny smiled in the presence of Tanner, while Arissa remained fixed, not showing much of her emotions. For the first time, they worked together in rhythm. Johnny held out the pan, while Tanner inserted the ingredients, and finally, Arissa doing the last touches. And for the first time, Maura smiled at all of this.
Maybe if I married him…She watched Johnny laugh at Tanner. He really is a good guy. He tries. He loves me and the kids. She smiled more. How can I deny him? He's already a father figure to them…well…Arissa threw an egg shell at Johnny. He retaliated by chucking bread crusts. Tanner stepped in only to be ambushed with flour. More laughing. More getting along. So why not make this permanent? I can be married to someone who'll take care of me and the kids. I can be in the arms of…no, no. Don't think about that.
But it was too late. The dream was the seed and within minutes, it consumed her. She looked at Tanner and instead of seeing a tall and well built man, she saw Jane, cooking with the kids. She saw Johnny and Arissa laughing and having fun with Jane. She saw Jane serving her breakfast. She saw herself waking up wrapped in Jane's arms. She saw Jane and that was all that was needed to throw her off track.
No, Maura. She chewed another piece of bread. Tanner's right here. He's right for you. I need to focus on him. I'm going to marr-.
"My goodness! My early birds!" Angela yelled from the door. "I could smell it from outside!"
Maura nearly choked again, this time from her own emotions.
Oh Angela…wrong timing. Was she mad that Angela interrupted her thoughts or was she grateful? She ate the last of her breakfast and walked towards Angela.
"Happy birthday you two! Give Nonna a kiss!" she held out her arms. "I'll give your gifts later, okay?"
"Mornin' Angela." Tanner smiled. This time he gave her a hug. Well, a one arm hug. "Would you like some?"
"Maybe later." Angela replied. "I ate a small breakfast already."
Even they're acting nice, Maura noted. She turned to Angela and smiled.
"Good morning to you too. Did the kids wake up?" Angela asked.
It was actually a dream…she wanted to say. "The kids did. They're real excited."
"They'll be out of energy by the time the party starts!" Angela looked at the clock. "It doesn't start till another nine hours!"
"We'll figure something out." Maura said. "Do you want tea? Coffee?"
"I'm good. I left Tommy a note saying that I would be back later." She pulled Maura off to the living room and lowered her voice. "The boys and I…uh, we…we were talking about…Jane yesterday."
"Oh…" It was all Maura could say.
"We were just…wondering what we would do if she did happen to show up." Maura continued to listen. "I know the situation is hard…for all of us…for you…but assuming she does come…it's their birthday….I just…I don't want to spoil their day. But again, we all have something we want to say to her…"
Maura nodded. She understood it entirely. "Don't cause a scene…got it."
"Right, but only if she comes."
Maura nodded again. She didn't want Angela to complete her sentence. She didn't want to think about the slight change of Jane being at the party. She looked back at Tanner and reminded herself.
I have Tanner. I have Tanner. I have Tanner.
ˣˣ
"What the hell is Tanner doing here?" Tommy yelled from his car. He unbuckled his kids. Frankie appeared on the other door, carrying Dylan. Heather and Sydney walked side by side, holding onto several bags. Tommy picked up Daniel and Dakota.
"Watch your mouth! You've got your kids in your arms for heaven's sake!" Angela yelled. She parked behind Tommy. "He's going to be a part of this family, whether we like it or not!"
"Yeah, well better keep him away from me." Tommy muttered.
"Chill out dude…what's gotten in to you?" Frankie asked.
"You know what!" Tommy yelled back. "I just…"
"Tommy." Angela glared at him. Emotions were running high for everyone. They walked towards the tables where decorations still had yet to be placed. Nothing was where it was supposed to be, and as for Maura, everything was a disaster. Angela spotted Maura near a tree. She stared at the supplies and shook her head.
"Maura!" Angela called out. For a second, all of Maura's worries seemed to vanish. But she picked up the paper plates, cups, table covers, and held them up in the air.
"That's right, Maura. That's why we're here…" Angela reassured her. She pulled Maura into a hug. "Where are the kids?"
"With Tanner, looking at the ducks." She replied. They both turned their heads. Arissa rode on Tanner's back while Johnny held his hand.
What? When did this all happen? Angela tried to hide her somewhat disgusted look. Tommy, Frankie, and the rest of the family came up from behind, greeted Maura, and began to disperse the decorations.
"We don't have anything set up; the food isn't here yet, the animal show said they'd be late, guests are coming in less than 15 minutes! Oh my God!" Maura began to hyperventilate.
Angela put her hand on Maura's shoulders. "Honey, calm down. We'll sort the decoration out. You just sit and wait for the food. By the way, we picked up the cake. I'll tell one of the boys to pick it up."
"Cake? Oh dear. I forgot about that too! What am I going to do? The party starts in-."
"Maura, please, sit." She guided her to the table. "The kids woke up you up too early. Would you mind taking care of the kids with Heather and Sydney? They could use the extra set of hands."
"Absolutely." Maura said.
"That'll calm you down. Don't you worry."
Tommy and Frankie began to unfold the chairs and set the coolers to its appropriate places. They looked around to find Tanner.
"He still has a bump from when I punched him" Tommy laughed silently.
"Well, you did…knock him out."
"He deserves it, you know?" Tommy said. "Of all the things-."
"Hey, would you stop? Just stop it!" Frankie hit his brother's arm. "You're not the only one who's feeling that. But you don't see us causing a fit! It's Johnny's and Arissa's birthday! Can your emotions hold off for a day?
"You said it yourself that you wouldn't know if you could control yourself assuming Jane comes."
"But she's not here…yet!"
Angela came running to then. "What is going on with you two? What did we talk about yesterday and on the way here? The party hasn't even started and you're already yapping the daylight out of each other! Stop it!" She looked at her watch. "Guests are coming in less than ten minutes! Can I trust that you two'll act like adults? I know it's going to be hard. But do it for the sake of your niece and nephew."
Tommy and Frankie looked at each other and then to Angela.
"Sorry, ma." They said in unison.
"Mmhmm." Angela looked towards the street. "Look! Barry, Vince, and Sean are here!"
ˣˣ
Jane sat in her car for nearly an hour. The key was in the ignition, yet she found herself still parked in front of the apartment. The gifts stared at her as it sat on the dashboard. She sweated buckets and she could feel it on her hands. It was nearly impossible to grip the wheel. The heat really got to her. It was nearly 85 degrees. The air condition didn't do much and neither did her attire. But Jane had no choice. She had to cover up the scars on her arms. She had to wear a blazer no matter where she went. And the jacket began to stick to her skin. And it irritated her more. The air condition was already at its highest. She looked at the presents once more. It wasn't entirely presentable. But it was wrapped in newspaper with a card that tried to say so much, and a bow. It was the best her emotions allowed. The card wasn't much either. It simply said "Happy Birthday. Thank you for letting me be a part of it," and she signed her name. Well, Detective Jane Rizzoli signed it. She meant the short statement though. This would be the only time she'd be able to be near her son, that is, if she could get to the party first.
Jane grabbed the book and stared at it. "It's probably ending soon." She threw the book back to the passenger seat, clearly not caring for the worth, merely because Arissa's reaction became far more important. Jane growled at herself. The little girl was slowly growing to her. It wasn't supposed to happen. Detective Jane Rizzoli only has a son!
A sudden urgency swept over Jane. She wiped the sweat off her forehead, turned the ignition on, and drove away.
"Great to see you!" Maura smiled. "Glad you could make it. Please, help yourself! The food's over there and refreshments are near the cooler!"
"Thank you! Where are Johnny and Arissa?"
"Oh…who knows where? Tanner's getting them set up for the animal show."
"Alright then…" the woman looked to her child. "Go along. Go play with them. Mommy will be right here."
Maura watched the mother and son diverge to their own ways. She managed to calm down only half an hour ago, but it seemed as if the anxiety only started now.
That's the last of the guests…Maura looked around. No sign of Jane. She looked around to find Tanner almost trampled by kids. He really does have a way with kids. Then she heard the grass ruffle from behind her. It was Korsak, along with Melody, and Josh.
"Hey Maura." Korsak said. "Great food!"
"It really is!" Melody replied. Josh drank his juice and smiled.
"Thank you…" Maura looked agitated. "Did you…did you try the crème Brule? Angela made them…" she continued to look around.
Melody got the point. "Josh…let's go try that…"
Korsak watched them walk away and turned back to Maura."We're already an hour in…" he said quietly. "She's not coming, Maura. Look at everyone!" they looked around. "They're having a good day! The adults are relaxing while the kids are…well," he squinted his eyes, "in…wow…Is Johnny really climbing Tanner? Whoa" he chuckled, "What is he? Mount Tanner? Anyways, just look! Everyone's having a great time and so should you! Come on! I haven't seen you eaten yet!"
Jane was not nearly two hours late. She stopped halfway between the apartment and park. In fact, she parked in front of a liquor store. Her hands began to shake vigorously, making it difficult to maneuver safely on the road. And it so happens, that Jane stopped in front of the liquor store. She stared at the door and watched them walk in and out. She felt her heart pound. It was surely tempting…to buy a drink…to completely blow off the party…to…end it all. But she faced the front of the car and repeatedly said, "Not today," until she convinced herself that she didn't need a fix. She convinced herself that there was something worth living for than to drink her life away. And that was something was only 15 minutes away. She took a moment and stared at the other side of the street.
"Just a couple more blocks…" And again, she drove off.
Once Jane arrived, she parked her car and in the distance, she could only find a hoard of children. Wrong party. She jaywalked to get a closer look. She nearly got run over and she nearly dropped the book. It was a fairly busy day, or at least it looked busy. She couldn't remember. Regrettably, Jane parked on the opposite end of the Frog Pond. She had to cut through the tennis courts, baseball field, and the Monument. She held the gifts tighter and lost her breath.
Johnny was wrapped around a snake, well, rather it hung on to him. Jane could see her son, standing still, his eyes filled with pure fear. Yeah, I hate snakes too. Then came Arissa's turn. She moved next to the man, who looked like Steve Irwin, and smiled graciously, to the crowd. The man slowly placed the snake on her shoulders. Arissa continued to smile. She began to run the snake and nearly got her cheek bitten off as she examined its face. Jane continued to walk towards the crowd, timing each and every step. No one had spotter her…yet. Arissa still petted the snake. Curiosity and fascination grew in the little girl's eyes and Jane had to admit that that was something Maura would do. Jane spotted Frost first and next to him what looked like Anna. Anna hadn't changed. Neither did Frost. But the only thing that did change was a bump on her belly and wedding rings on their fingers. Jane smiled slightly, until she spotted Korsak.
Whoa…he lost weight! Wait…is that Melody? Jane moved in between the trees. Is that Josh? Jane turned her back to the party. She felt her veins throb. You can turn around or go home, Rizzoli. She turned back. Everyone was clapping, even the parents. It was now everyone else's turn to pet the animals and ask questions. Some of the kids ran to the man, nearly startling the parrots, iguana's and who knows what. Most of the kids lined up with their parents and the first to go up…was Tommy.
Holy shit, he's got a kid! Jane watched him pick up a child from the ground. What? Two kids? Then Heather came by with their third child. It was obvious they were related. It showed on their Italian-Japanese faces. Three kids? More kids rushed towards the animals. It was hard to spot anyone in a hoard of people. But she managed to find Angela talking to Cavanaugh. For Jane's taste, they were too close. Their cheeks were practically touching each other! Eh, she looks happy. Their little moment was cut short once Jane spotted Johnny jumped on Angela. She kissed her grandson several times before Cavanaugh took him in his own arms. The hell? Johnny smiled and wrapped his arms around Cavanaugh's neck. It looked so wrong…yet so…okay…at the same time. Then, Johnny opened his eyes. He looked around. Whoa, shit. He nearly saw me. Jane ducked once more and waited. She peeked her head to see if Johnny was still looking. And he was. This time, his small neck towered over Cavanaugh's head. Jane got up. She had to make a run for her car. But she looked back and saw Johnny wringing out of Cavanaugh's arms.
"Jane!" he yelled out. She closed her eyes and held her breath. Shit. She heard the voices grow silent. "Jane!" his footsteps grew closer. Oh God. She dropped both gifts. Her breathing tense and her heart rate sky rocketed. "Hey! What're doing behind the tree?"
Oh God. "Uh…I had to make a phone call."
"Oh…are you done?" he asked.
Polite. "Yeah…" Jane laughed quietly. "Yeah, I am…"
Then, Johnny hugged Jane's leg. "I'm so happy you're here." He snuggled more. "I thought you weren't going to come."
Don't cry Jane. Not knowing what to do, she patted the top of his head and quietly said, "I'm here…"
"Come on!" Johnny tugged on her jacket. "You need to eat!"
She picked up the gifts and slowly looked up. Angela, Cavanaugh, and Jane had a stare down and did so until Johnny introduced them.
"Nonna! She came! I told you should would come!" he turned to Cavanaugh. "Pops! This is Jane! She's a detective like Uncle Frankie!"
Angela replied, "That's…good…um…." She cleared her throat. "Go show her the uh…" Cavanaugh grabbed her by the hip and walked away.
"I think they had to go somewhere." Johnny said innocently.
Right…somewhere. More like away…She needed answers. "Is he your grandpa?"
"Nope. Nonna's just…spending a lot of time with him. Come on. I see Uncle Frankie and Uncle Tommy!"
Frankie held Dakota and rocked her.
"Hey! Get your own kid!" Tommy said.
"You've already got two in your arms!"
"So what? Go make and you'll-."
"Uncle Frankie! Uncle Tommy!" a little voice yelled.
"What is it bud?" They asked. Then their eyes follow the tall figure behind him. Their deep brown eyes gazed at Jane.
Near the table, Heather and Sydney watched Johnny walk to his uncles. They recognized Jane.
"Uh-oh. Come on." Sydney said. "I sense trouble." They walked quickly and stood next to their significant other and listened.
"Jane, this is Uncle Frankie and Uncle Tommy." They only stared. "And these are my cousins! That one is Dylan." He pointed. "That one is Daniel and she's Dakota!" Jae nodded and looked at her own…niece and nephews. "Do you know where mommy is?" No one replied. The presence of Jane made them deaf. "Uncle Tommy? Uncle Frankie?"
"Huh, what?" Frankie said.
"Where's mommy?" Johnny asked again.
"They're over by the pond, sweetie." Heather replied, noticing that no one was going to do so. "She's with Tanner and Riss."
Oh for the love of God. Tanner's here?
"Thanks auntie."
Heather smiled. "You're welcome."
Without another look, Jane followed her son through the crowd.
"She's actually here…" Frankie said. "Thank goodness I was holding Dakota."
"Yeah…thank God I'm carrying 'em too…" Tommy sighed. "She's here…" Tears formed at the corner of his eye. "Aw crap. What the hell?"
"Tommy?"
"Nah. I'm fine. I'll be right back.
"Tommy!" Frankie called out, but he already made grounds towards the opposite end of the park. Sydney leaned on Frankie's shoulder. "Jeez…she's really here."
Jane had gotten used to the stares, feint gasps, and comments, like she was breathing air. There was no need for sunglasses. Her hair gave it away. It would have been obvious from miles away. She follow Johnny and everyone in their path, cleared the way, as if the Queen of England was coming through. Johnny looking confused, but was completely unaware. Her posture radiated a message. It said in her most polite way, "Yes, I'm fucking here."
"Look! I see mommy!" Johnny said. Jane's message and posture was quickly shot down. Her heart raced again. She couldn't see Maura anywhere…or Tanner. In fact, she nearly lost Johnny in the crowd filled with…nothing. Suddenly, everything around her kept spinning. The heat was finally tipping Jane over the edge. The lack of food in her stomach growled furiously. Seeing everyone overall, sent Jane to the bottomless put. Her knees buckles as she tried to follow Johnny.
"This way!" he said. Jane closed her eyes for a second. His voice…calms me. She gained her strength once more. Her vision and cleared and nothing was spinning. Then, Jane looked forward. She found Johnny running ahead in his little red Converse. She stopped in her tracks and everything around her seemed to disappeared.
It was Tanner, Maura, Johnny, and Arissa, all facing Jane. Tanner had an arm around Maura and the other resting on Johnny's shoulder. Maura had her arm around Tanner's waist, where she curled close to, and the other hand on top of Arissa's head. Jae and Maura stared at each other for what seemed to be an eternity.
"Mommy! It's Jane! She's here!" they heard him say. Jane held her breath.
"Detective!" Tanner smiled. He attempted a hug, but Jane stepped back in time, and held out her hand. He shook it. "Great seeing you! Glad you could make it!"
"Yeah…glad I came…" Jane said. She looked at the four people in front of her. They look like a real family. Maura continued to stare. Jane stared back. Then, she looked at Arissa and moved her eyes to her shoulder. Still not ring. Maura noticed where Jane was looking at. She quickly moved her hand.
"Johnny…Arissa, why don't you take the detective to the table?" Tanner said. "We've got a lot to eat!" he turned to Maura. "I think Angela's calling you, sweet pea."
Oh now they have nicknames?
Maura looked out. "She is! I'll be back." She turned to her kids. "Be good, okay?" She looked at Jane once more and left.
"I'll be back too, alright? The burgers are a hit today!" Tanner said. Then, Jane was left with the kids.
"Do you want to see the snakes? Arissa asked. Her green eyes shined against the sun.
"Oh…I don't really like snakes." Jane replied.
"Me too! I like dogs better!"
Me too. Jane thought and she paused. Jo Friday…I wonder how she's doing.
"Won't you hold it? Just for a second?" she looked at Jane with puppy dog eyes. God Damn. She's exactly like Maura. "Please?"
Jane sighed. "Oh, alright…but just for a second!"
Arissa's eyes lit up. "Yay! Okay! Come on!"
"Oh, hold on!" Jane said. "There are for you." She handed the gifts. "Happy Birthday! Open 'em up!"
"Mommy says we have to wait till after the party!" Arissa said. But Johnny had already begun tearing the paper apart. Soon enough, Arissa did the same.
"Whoa, awesome! Where'd you get these?" Johnny held out the jersey's. "Uncle Frankie couldn't find me one!" he took out the trading cards. "Awesome! I can add these to my collection! And a Red Sox teddy bear! And a foam finger! Thanks a bunch!"
Jane smiled and was met with another hug. "You're welcome bud…The jersey's mean a lot to me." So much you'll probably never know why, "So take care of them, okay? And wait a couple years. You'll grow into them."
Then, Arissa screamed so loud, that it sent chills down Jane's spine. She continued to stare at the book. "Where did you get this?"
Aw crap, she hates it. "Around town," she replied nervously, "Why?"
"Mommy has been trying to find this one!"
"This copy?" Shit…
"Yes!" she began to jump. "There was a waiting list! And some bidding war!" Arissa continued to squeal. "But I have it! I have the copy!"
What a relief. Jane could breathe. Now her legs had been occupied by two kids hanging on to it.
"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" Arissa said. "I love it!"
"You're welcome…"
Arissa hugged the book. Jane nearly yelled out to be careful with the book. But her satisfaction prevented her from yelling out. Johnny picked up the wrapping paper and the rest of his gifts. They walked past the snakes. Thank goodness they forgot about it…
"Come on! Food's this way!" Johnny pointed with his foam finger. They reached the table. "I'm hungry too…" he declared.
"Me too." Arissa grabbed a plate, handed one to Johnny, and another to Jane. They got their food and drinks, with Jane's help, and moved to an open table.
First time eating with my son…and Arissa. Jane played with her food. Then she noticed that Johnny was doing the same. Oh wow. She watched Johnny bite into the burger. He crossed his eyes. Double wow. I do that…She bit into the burger and understood why he crossed his eyes. This is fucking delicious. She took in another bite and realized that this was the first real meal she's had in over two days. Damn, this is really good. She checked on the two kids. Arissa ate like a proper lady. Just like Maura. Johnny devoured the contents of his plate in less than two minutes. Just like me…Arissa looked at Jane and began to laugh.
"What?" Jae asked. "What's so funny?" Johnny chimed in as well. "What? Why are you two laughing?" They laughed to the point where they laid on the bench. "Hey!"
"You have ketchup on your nose!" Arissa said in between breaths.
"And…and mustard on your cheek!"
"Really?" Jane grabbed her tissue. Truth be told, mustard and ketchup had been on her face. She began to laugh, moments later. "Silly kids."
Then Tanner came by and sat in front of Jane. "Whoa there! Someone's having a giggle attack!" he turned to Jane. "What happened?"
Jane quieted her laughs down with a cough. "Oh…nothing. Just kids being kids." Be civil, Jane.
"Jane had ketchup and mustard on her face!" the two continued to laugh. Jane lifted the napkin to show the evidence.
"You two are silly!" Tanner said. He grabbed the two and ticked them. "You two are so so silly!"
With that, Jane's mood damped and sent her back to reality. This is fucking reality. Tanner is their reality.
"Would you like me to clean that up for you?" he asked.
"Uh…Nah." She said coolly. "I got it." Since when did they snuggle to Tanner? A gallon of jealousy poured over Jane's head.
He checked his watch. "Well, we're just about to blow the cake. Come on." He lifted the two kids, showing off his arms. Jane followed sluggishly behind and tried to find a deserted area in the group to stand in.
Johnny and Arissa stood awkwardly behind their cake. Their cheeks were red and they smiled shyly. Then, the singing began. Jane sang along, but only in her heart. She smiled as they blew the candles in unison. It really is her birthday too…Tanner was at the front of the crowd. The camera he held caught Jane's attention. It was the camera Jane bought Maura on a whim. She was sure of it because the camera strap was custom made. It had Red Sox written all over it, their initials, and the date of when their relationship had become official. Maura's kept it all these years…She smiled. Now Tanner's using it. Her smile faded.
Then the pictures started. First, it was just the kids; Maura and the kids; the family, meaning Tommy, his wife and kids, Frankie and Sydney, and Angela; Frankie and the two; Tommy; the cousins, until it became the Boston Police, and finally, Johnny and Arissa's friends. It took a total of twenty minutes and five more once Korsak yelled for Tanner to get in the shot. He blushed and so did Maura. Jane watched Tanner slip off the camera and stand behind Johnny. They kneeled close to the kids and smiled. They truly looked like a family. Jane had to realize it again for the second time. Tanner had taken over Jane's roll. He took up the full responsibility of caring for her child…and taking care of Maura, or so it seemed. With that, Jane left quietly behind the crowds. She looked at the table where she ate with her son for the first and probably the last time, and left, wondering if she could ever return again.
"Darling, just sit down!" Tanner said as he walked towards the door. "Relax! I'll get the things from the car!" He was outside the house, giving Maura no chance to contradict. Instead of getting up, she did exactly as she was told. She closed her eyes, leaned back, and thought about how successful the day had been. The food had arrived just in time and turned out to be better than they anticipated; the animal show did its job; the games made every kid happy the weather was in their favor; and most of all, her kids were happy. That was enough to put a smile on her face. Maura continued to think about the little details about the party. And then, her smile slowly faded and her body suddenly went rigid.
Jane.
Jane had come despite what everyone wanted to believe. Everyone thought she'd run off again. But she came, and a bundle of shock and fear typhooned into Maura. Her throat began to clog up. She wondered what Jane had gotten for their birthday; and why they were so ecstatic. She wondered what they spoke and laughed about at the picnic table. She wondered if Jane figured out that she has two kids instead of one. Most of all, she wondered how Jane felt when she faced Tanner, herself, and the kids. Did Jane think they were a family? Did Jane like Tanner?
Of course she doesn't, Maura reminded herself. But seeing Jane today was…sort of a relief. She pinched herself. Maura! No! You've got Tanner! She said again. I love Tanner. I love Tanner. The words tasted like acid, but she pushed through. I'm going to marry him and we're going to be that happy family. Maura felt a tear roll on the side of her face. There's no more Jane. She's the one who left. I'm moving because I love Tanner. I love him and I'm going to prove it…to myself.
Maura wiped her tears, got up, and waited for Tanner. I'm going to prove it to myself. His footsteps came closer and Maura prepared for it. I'm going to prove it to myself. The door opened and Tanner looked at Maura.
"Something wrong?" he asked. Instead of replying, Maura crashed her body into his. She went on the tips of her toes and kissed Tanner. He pulled back and said, "We don't have to do this if you don't want to." And it was always like that. For countless times, Tanner attempted to initiate sex, but was rejected time and time again. Maura would always give some excuse to not engage in the activity.
But I have to. Maura went in for another kiss, a peck on the lips, cheeks, chin, neck, and another satisfying one on the lips. She continued until Tanner responded. He dropped the bags, closed the door behind him, and wrapped his arms around Maura's waist. They took turns taking control and it was Tanner who led his hands to Maura's bare skin. Next, his tongue caught a gratifying hold of Maura's mouth, causing her to moan. He could feel Maura smiling as they connected with their mouth. He reached further down and grabbed a hold of Maura's firm butt. He squeezed them and cupped it until Maura jumped and wrapped her legs around Tanner's waist. He carried her blindly through the kitchen and into the master bedroom, the only room he'd never been allowed to step foot in, and placed Maura on the bed. The silhouette of Tanner's body sent electrifying signals throughout Maura's body. She leaned forward and lifted his shirt, where he took it off completely. She guided her hands across his stomach, feeling the muscles contract, and then to his chest. She kissed his stomach violently with her tongue. Next, Tanner carried Maura to the pillows. They continued to exchange kisses. Slowly, Tanner's hand lid on Maura's hips, where he slid them up to remove Maura's blouse. Once it was off, Maura climbed on top of Tanner. He caressed her soft skin. He began to kiss her breasts and his tongue teased her through the bra. Another moan, another satisfaction.
The room suddenly became war and their body heat took over Maura grabbed Tanner's hand to her pants. He removed them and caressed her thighs. They did the same with Tanner. All that was left on them were boxers, a bra, and thong. The motion of the bed became faster, the teasing became stronger, the kisses suddenly had a meaning, for the most part. Tanner curled on top of Maura. With one hand, he removed the bra and with the other hand, he hovered over Maura's clit. The small teasing caused the loudest moans. With the bra off, Tanner took a hold of her nipple with his mouth. Then, he kissed her chest and played a short game of peek a boo with her breasts. Maura laughed some more and dug her nails into Tanner's body as he slowly removed her thong. He went towards the edge of the bed, grabbed Maura's leg, and began to kiss it. Maura smiled, bit her lip, and grabbed a hold of whatever she could hold on to. Tanner's lips were not on her thighs and before she knew it, his mouth had occupied her pussy. A foreign sensation swept Maura's mind and body. She had been relieved from her stress. But when Jane's face appeared in her mind, she knew she had to go to the next level. Grabbing Tanner's face by the chin, they kissed for several more minutes. Maura removed his boxers and immediately grabbed his erect penis. In the midst of the penis frenzy, Maura thought about the last time she'd given herself entirely to a man. It was with Ian, but that was nearly nine years ago. She sucked on it and smiled devilishly as she listened to Tanner moan. She continued the constant motion until Tanner pulled Maura back into his arms. It was Tanner's turn. He kissed Maura on the lips again and slowly made his way down her body. He lifted her legs up, moved closer, and placed his penis into Maura. Another moan came out from Maura. They started out slowly, getting used to the jerking motion. Tanner slowly picked up speed. They moaned at the same time. At their climax, Maura could feel Tanner ejaculate inside of her. With that, their intensity ceased. It slowly returned to passion. Tanner laid next to Maura, both arms wrapped around her. Their naked bodies were warm against each other and there were sweat beads to prove it. Tanner kissed the back of her neck before falling asleep. For Tanner, this was a major and sudden jump in their relationship. Maura stared at the wall. She'd never let another person in her room, besides her kids, since Jane…This was their room, where they spoke of every little thing. She smiled at what happened in the last hour, but strained her smile and wondered if what she did was enough to convince her. And if not, it only confused her more.