Disclaimer: Why would the creator of Naruto be writing fanfictons about his own anime? No. I do not own Naruto. Obviously.
And there I was, just like last time. The grass beneath me wasn't itchy, but cool against my sun-warmed skin. Such a bright day, I squinted against it to look ahead in search of Itachi, but to no avail. There was nothing more than grassy meadows for as far as I could see, and lined at the edge of my vision was a distant flourish of trees.
"Itachi…?" I called out shyly as I pushed myself to my feet. It was like I was in a dream world—surrounded by a floating sea of small, white, fluffy seeds—like the kind you blow from dandelions. They meandered ghost-like through the air, moving past with no regard for me whatsoever, they had their own plan. All of them seemed to move as one in the same direction, and every time I tried to catch one, it floated just out of reach. Finally, I turned around to see where they were all going.
"Was this here the whole time?" I asked aloud as I stared with confusion towards the thick forest that almost seemed to stare back at me, like it had a life of its own that attracted the tiny seeds towards it as though it had some sort of magnetic connection with them. And after pining over it for just a few seconds, I suddenly felt compelled to move towards it as well. My feet began their stride without me even thinking about it. I wanted to say it was me entering the forest on my own accord, but in reality, I felt it was pulling me in, and even if I hadn't wanted to go in, I somehow would have ended up there anyway.
I stared in awe at all the little fluffy specks that governed the air around me. They kept my pace and continued on along side of me, all the while dancing about in an ethereal fashion, yet never touching me once. The whole seen just seemed surreal, magical in a sense. Suddenly I stopped.
I stared at my feet at the edge of the forest. They were bare and comforted by the grass-quilted ground that sprouted around them and swayed lightly against my near translucent skin. I hesitated to take another step, something that would lead me to a much different terrain. The ground of the forest was dirt spotted with a healthy mingling of spongy moss that bared itself across the dirt like a thousand tiny welcome mats. I smiled slightly before returning my attention to the fluff-filled air. It seemed more congested than before as a wind picked up from behind and pushed the fuzzy beads of life forward more vigorously than ever. I followed them.
"Itachi?" I said quietly as I moved slowly through the trees, allowing my hands to graze each one as I passed it, just to feel the texture beneath my fingers… just to make sure it was real. Nothing seemed real anymore, and although I knew this was a genjutsu, I wished it were reality. So serene and beautiful. I envied Itachi's mind for that—for coming up with such intriguing and stunning visions to place me in, although he had always been in them with me… up until that point at least. I wondered if he really wasn't there at all, if that was even possible, or if he was just hiding. I called out his name again, this time louder.
A startled gasp passed my lips as I was answered with a noisy flutter of wings. I had scared a murder of crows into a frenzy, their glinting feathers flourished frantically in their hasty escape. And I was alone again. Itachi was avoiding me, this I knew for sure.
"Why are you doing this…?" I muttered under my breath as I let my back hit against a tree and slide down, allowing my butt to rest on the soft cushion of the moss below.
"Caw!" I jumped slightly at the sudden outburst from a crow on one of the branches above me.
"Could you repeat yourself? I didn't catch that," I replied sarcastically as I stared up at the crow. It looked back, blinking every now and then, but never taking its gaze from my own.
"Caw!" It answered back.
"Oh, okay," I said once more, as if I had a clue what the hell the thing was saying. Finding it almost difficult to do so, I looked away and sent my regards towards the ground before me. There was nothing particularly interesting about it, I just didn't feel like looking at the bird anymore. There was something odd about it.
"Caw!" I shook my head and ignored it, refusing to hold conversation with a bird any longer.
It was a relief when I heard the flap of its wings and assumed it had finally become bored and flown off. But much to my dismay, it only left the branch to choose a new spot to stand, that being right in front of me. It cocked its head and blinked once before opening its stupid beak.
"Caw!"
"What do you want!" I cried out with frustration, arms throw in the air. I hadn't even noticed until then that my eyes had begun to water, and with my sudden burst of emotion, the glaze that covered them spilled over the edges. I frantically wiped away my tears, appalled by their sudden appearance.
"Caw!"
"Shut up! Go away, stupid bird!" I screamed and threw a small stone at it that I picked from the ground beside me. It let out one last call before flapping away reluctantly. My cheeks reddened beneath the tears that streamed down. I didn't bother wiping them this time, I simply rested my elbows on my knees and allowed my head to fall into my hands with defeat. My fingers entwined with my hair and squeezed it at the roots in an attempt to ease some of my tension. I couldn't even put my finger on why I was so upset. I wasn't getting my period any time soon, and I was feeling physically pained in any way.
Then I remembered what had happened. The whole thing with Alix and my decision to stay with the Akatsuki… the consequence it had on me. Itachi was the last person I saw before I arrived in the forest, and I should have welcomed the solitude, but I didn't. He could have been there with me, but he didn't want to. The stinging in my heart swelled even more at the thought. I was never good enough, no one ever wanted me.
"Caw!" I tore my head from its hanging position and glared past the strands of hair that hung messy in front of my face. It was back.
"What do you want from me?" I cried out with a raspy hitch in my voice. I continued to stare at the bird with ill will, my teeth biting hard into my lower lip to keep myself from crying. It stared back, its head cocked like usual, before looking into the trees above. I was taken aback when countless crows emerged from the forest's canopy and seemed to dive-bomb straight into the lone crow that stood just feet from me. My back scraped against the tree as I attempted to scoot back out of fear, not knowing what was happening. With wide-eyes, I stared as the birds seemed to merge into one figure that quickly took the form of a human, and as features became distinguishable, I realized exactly who it was.
"W… what?" I whispered under my breath, more to myself than anything else.
"I wish you wouldn't do that, look how it stains the ground. It'll never go away you know, even if it does dry. I didn't create this world for you so that you would cry," Itachi's voice was pleasant to me, it had a certain calming effect, much like that of a pain killer… or maybe it was all part of the genjustu. I guess I'll never really know.
"You could've fooled me…" I muttered and pulled my knees to my chest. I wanted to look away, but he held me with his charcoal gaze.
"You don't like it?" He asked with a detectable apprehension to his voice. Before I could answer, something to the right caught my attention and, inadvertently, I allowed the corners of my lips to pull up just the slightest bit. It was a flower, the same one that had sprouted first time Itachi saved me. It started small, just a stem, but grew quickly while swaying playfully and uncurling its leaves in a spontaneous motion. The bud came last, unfurling out and splaying into a beautiful red blossom, petals perfectly shaped and smooth to the touch, even to the eyes. I laughed lightly through a sigh before returning my captive attention to Itachi who looked down upon me with mild amusement.
"I do like it but… it was awfully lonely, don't you think?"
"I thought you enjoyed the seclusion," he said, one brow arched in a questioning manner.
"I do but…" I sighed as I lined up the words correctly in my head, "sometimes you just need someone to be there."
He continued to stare for a moment before looking away, his eyes aimed towards the sky that peeked through sporadically between leaves of the canopy. As lacking as it may have been in abundance, the light was enough to make him shine, and for a split second I saw the life in his eyes, even through the somber shield that always hid him from the world.
"Well I'll allow you to wake up as soon as Orochimaru's jutsu has worked its way through your body. Remember that while you're in here, your body still suffers the affects. But when you awake… I'm sure someone will be there for you… perhaps Deidara or Hidan." That had to be the most I had ever heard him say at once. I was shocked, but apart from being shocked, frustration definitely took first place.
"You just don't get it!" I said in a raised voice, much louder than I had anticipated, but I decided not to let my momentary confidence go to waste. "You save me from reality, but you just stick me in here by myself and expect everyone else to help me later, and yet you want nothing to do with me! And you told me that you would protect me, but how can you do that when you won't even speak with me?"He looked bewildered by my outburst for only a moment before regaining his composure enough to reply.
"I thought you wouldn't want to be bothered by someone like me."
"Someone like you? What? What is that supposed to mean?" I asked incredulously while pushing myself to my feet to even out the playing field. Arguing from a sitting position is just disheartening when you're always beneath your opponent no matter what you say.
"You told me you saw the truth," he said with the tiniest shred of confusion, now second-guessing himself as to what that actually meant.
"Yeah, I did. I saw how sad you are, that you're torn apart and aching inside, that you're scared sometimes…" I paused, "That you're full of love…" My voice was quiet but enforced with conviction, I wanted him to know that I was being truthful. He said nothing in response, his lips parted with no words coming out and his eyes connected to mine intensely, as if he couldn't believe what was coming out of my mouth.
"Do you really think you're such a monster, Itachi?" I asked while taking a step towards him.
He shook his head and let out a weak, darkly humorous laugh. "You don't know what I am, or what I'm capable of."
My breath hitched painfully and I swallowed. "I guess not..." I said quietly while taking a step back and averting my eyes in an attempt to hide the tears that begged to be set free. I hated crying, especially in front of people. And although I enjoyed the company of my new friends, I missed the insensitive feeling I had when I was alone for so long, immune to the feeling of being hurt by another.
"Izumi?" Itachi eventually asked when I said nothing more. I wasn't ready to answer but I knew I had to.
"What?" I replied coldly, but not without a noticeable spike of emotion. Itachi sighed painfully as I continued to stare at the ground.
"I didn't mean to… make you upset." He sounded repentant, regretful of things he could never take back. I didn't remember much from my childhood before I went to Konoha, but there was one incident I think I will always remember.
My mother had dragged me into the bathroom to brush our teeth before bed, I didn't want to of course, and began calling her names. Although they were childish and stupid insults like doo-doo head and poopy brain, she told me she was hurt by it and proceeded take out the tube of toothpaste. I was confused when she asked me to give her my finger, but I did as I was told, feeling bad about hurting her feelings. She squeezed a line of toothpaste onto my finger and handed me the tube. "Now try to put it back in," she said. My tongue peeked from my lips and my eyes squinted hard with concentration as I tried to force the green paste back into where it had come from, but without success. "I can't," I pouted and looked to my mother for help. "No one can, sweetie. When you say something, it's like squeezing out toothpaste. You'll never be able to put those words back in your mouth, so be careful about what you say, okay?" I nodded, it made sense to me.
"You're a liar!" I said abruptly while clenching my shirt between my fingers roughly, finally bringing my eyes up to meet with his. "You're so afraid of yourself that you just push everyone away! And you know exactly what you're doing. Well it's not okay, Itachi. I'm not scared, so why do you push me away? I know what I saw inside of you, and it wasn't a murderer, or a monster, or whatever you think of yourself. " My heart rate had become erratic by the time I finished speaking, and his stunned expression sent a pang of guilt through the overly sensitive organ that hid behind my ribcage. Maybe I had been too harsh, maybe I was the one squeezing too much toothpaste. I looked away yet again, the ground equally as uninteresting as it was before.
I was slightly startled when I felt the rough tap of Itachi's fingers against my forehead. They pushed my head up, forcing me to look at him, and swiped away my bangs in one swift, yet gentle movement.
"Forgive me, Izumi… I wasn't thinking properly," he spoke with shame, his eyes brimming with grief. I couldn't have stayed upset with him if I wanted to. I was actually much more upset with myself for causing him pain.
"I'm sorry," I said quietly before taking a hesitant step towards him. When he didn't move back I advanced into him even further, allowing my forehead to rest against his chest with a certain timidity. I was unsure of myself. Was my rapidly beating heart a warning? Or was it simply urging me to go even further? I tensed suddenly when I felt the brush of his cloak against me as he brought his arms up to coil around me.
"Leave it to you to apologize for doing nothing wrong," he said quietly with humorous undertones. I laughed softly with a hint of relief. Turning my head so I was cheek-to-chest, I listened to his heart beat, surprised to find it was similar to my own. Unpredictably rushed, heavy and quick. It only made mine speed up, and even more I felt his hands squeeze me just slightly. A gentle reminder that he was real, to renew his promise that he would protect me. And I did feel protected. But I had one more question while he was in a good mood.
"The person who you've worried and cared about for so long… who is it?"
Maybe it was just curiosity, maybe it was something else. But it had been nagging it at me for a while. I had seen it in him, this horrible pain and guilt over someone he loved, someone he still loves. Perhaps curiosity was just getting the best of me… but maybe I needed to know for another reason. Should I be worried that he already had someone to protect in his life? It was none of my business… yet something drove me to ask anyway. I needed to know.
He smiled lightly, "Time to wake up, it's been two days."
"Two days!" I exclaimed before he disappeared into nothing along with my whole world, or at least what seemed like it. I had forgotten it was fake, and as reality set in, so did nausea.
"Ugh," I groaned as I weakly opened my eyes, the ceiling spun above me violently, causing me to immediately shut them once more and let out another groan, only louder.
"Hey, look who's awake. It's sleeping beauty!" I heard Hidan exclaim. I groaned in response, the air catching in my throat and triggering a loud belch that almost managed to echo in the small room. It made me feel better though.
"Okay… never mind about the beauty part," He said with disgust.
"Thanks Hidan, you always know how to cheer me up," I replied sarcastically while pulling the blankets over my head.
The reviews are wonderful as always :) Thank you to everyone who reads and reviews, they pretty much save me every time I think I won't be able to write another chapter XD Anyhow, I hope the story is going well enough. Is there anything you guys would like to see happen? Leave me a comment or review or w/e if you have any ideas or criticism for me :D