Chapter 25 Part 2 – Of Pies and Punishments
Yakko slammed the phone down.
Just wait till I get my hands on Wakko...
As angry as he was, he was still in disbelief. Wakko knew how dangerous it was to leave the lot. It was unthinkable what could have happened; he could have gotten hurt, he could have been kidnapped, he could have been killed, TIS was in the neighborhood, he could have been picked up…He'd be gone, and there was nothing any of them could do about it, until Yakko was eighteen anyway, and that was almost four years off...What was wrong with him?
He had heard Plotz say something about Disney and assaulting a security guard with pies – he had a feeling it was probably Darkwing Drip they were after...but still, no excuse. And Plotz said something about not needing the hassle; he wouldn't fire Wakko would he? Could he even do that? Did he have the power?
Yakko ran a hand through his hair. He was being stupid; Wakko was part of a team – it was Warner Brothers, not Brother. Plural. And the contract said until Yakko turned eighteen, no matter what. Plotz wasn't going to fire anyone, but the man was correct for once; this sort of troublemaking wasn't to be tolerated.
Yakko didn't mind the usual troublemaking; he could handle that. Hell, he even expected it out of a nine-year-old. This was above and beyond the usual trouble.
This was dangerous; it could have been life-threatening, or way-of-life-threatening…
He was rambling.
Furious and hoping he didn't do major bodily harm to his younger sibling when he got over there, he turned, ready to leave the tower. A stray glance behind him revealed Dot. Her head was sticking up over the couch, looking worried, scared, and somewhat amused.
Worrying about one sibling and he totally forgot about the other.
"What happened?" she asked in a breathy tone, eyes bugging out of her head. "Did Wakko and his friends boost another vehicle?"
Yakko turned his head to face her, and Dot shrank back slightly. He was pretty sure his anger was being projected on his face. Trying to keep his voice neutral, after all - Dot didn't sneak off and do the stupidest thing that crossed her mind, he spoke to her.
"I wish it was that petty. Apparently our brother decided to take a sightseeing tour of the Disney lot, pranking anyone within reach. He and his little friends had a field day, pie fights, whoopee cushions-"
Dot blinked at him, stunned and amused, before her face broke out in a huge grin. "And I bet they didn't even take any pictures. Can I sleep in Wakko's bed when you kill him?"
"There will be no killing; I can only do that once. There will, however, be a load of yelling and grounding so I hope Porky's already shown you how to Fritz earmuffs."
Seeing Dot start giggling, he clenched his hands; why didn't either one of them take this seriously? Hadn't he explained this well enough?
"Just please…just continue reading the book or watch TV or something and try not to cause any trouble; I have my hands full already. I'll be back with Mr. Explorer in a few minutes."
He turned to exit the tower, and heard Dot start laughing.
"I can't believe he did that! And it figures, Molly wasn't there today! Oh I wish I could have seen..."
She started gasping for breath between her laughs, and Yakko grew annoyed with her. Didn't either of them realize how dangerous this was?
"Yeah, laugh riot," he snapped, stomping over to the couch. "Chuckle now, but think what could have happened. Do you really want to think about our brother getting hurt out there? How about if he got hit by a car; is it that funny then? What about if he got picked up by a TIS Hunter? Once that happens, to any of us, we're gone. He could have been hurt – if him and the other nuts did indeed go over there and assault Dipstick Duck like I know they probably did, they could have been hurt."
Seeing Dot's smile evaporating he continued on, but tried to calm down. Yelling at her wasn't going to get his point across. He wanted her to understand, but he hadn't had the intention of frightening her. She looked like she was about to cry.
Reaching out to run a finger down her ear he added, "You saw him today Dot – do you really think that guy would be sympathetic if Wakko slipped up and actually got caught? Wakko usually displays a smidgeon more common sense than this - God, I have to say even his cohorts usually do. This is why I'm always saying to try to think ahead a little bit, try to have some sort of plan. Please tell me you're understanding this. The thought of you - either of you - getting picked up or taken away-"
"I do," she mumbled, wiping at her eyes. "Sorry, I didn't think-"
"See that you do. Unfortunately, this is one subject I can't joke with. Just stay here OK? You're not the one in trouble anyway. I'll be back with Columbus shortly."
With a parting look at Dot, who quietly settled back on the couch, he left the tower and jumped down, not caring who saw him at the moment. Landing like a cat he rose and began to stalk across the lot. He tried to calm down, taking deep breaths to steady himself but he was getting angrier with every step as his mind raced with all the different 'what ifs', each more terrifying than the last.
He grew more irritable as he was stopped by several different toons, all wanting the scoop on exactly what the terrible trio did over at Disney. Hearing one outlandish story after another, Yakko actually blinked and stared when one stagehand told him about the rumor of them somehow causing Darkwing Duck to sexually assault the royal personage of the Princess Jasmine. There was another rumor that apparently after the alleged sexual assault, Aladdin punched Darkwing in the eye.
Just what the hell did they do over there?
Once he got over his anger at Wakko, he really hoped to hear the entire story – a blow by blow account, every pie and quip thrown. Hell, if he didn't kill Wakko, he really hoped the little nimrod took pictures; he'd love to have a picture of Darkwing with a black eye for his scrapbook.
He knew it had been longer than five minutes since he said he would be there. He had debated waiting a bit longer; let Wakko stew for a bit, then decided against it. Plotz might kill Wakko before he got there, and he definitely wanted first crack at him.
XXXXXXXXXX
Being dragged across a studio lot by your ear, which was being yanked on by your furious older sibling - was not only painful, it was kind of embarrassing.
Wakko was practically running to keep up with Yakko's longer stride, and at this point he was surprised his ear was still attached to his head.
Yakko was actually madder than he had even dreamed he would be. Course, that disaster of a meeting in Plotz's office hadn't really helped this situation much either.
Yakko had come storming in just as Mr. Bunny leading Buster out by his ears, a subdued Plucky following behind him, dreading the car ride with the rabbits to his own house. Wakko hadn't heard the entire conversation with his father, mostly because Plucky had been trying to get his father to calm down enough to get a word in. Wakko had heard mention of plucking him and selling his feathers to a fly fisherman to cover the costs of the damages this time and that Plucky would be cutting the front lawn using pinking shears.
Wakko had been terrified to see them leaving though; Yakko wasn't there yet and he was going to be stuck in the office with a half-mad Plotz. He had sent a thank you out to whatever deity was watching him when Yakko arrived, then asked that same deity to get rid of Yakko; he looked madder than Plotz.
Buster, true to his word told Yakko that the entire thing had been his idea and he shouldn't be mad at Wakko. Before anyone could reply Wakko had jumped in, saying that he took responsibility too, no one could blame just Buster. Even Plucky stood up and said he had an unusually big part in it.
The only good thing to come out of that was the fact that Yakko seemed to calm down - just a hair - but it did seem to do some good.
It didn't last long though.
After a long conversation about Wakko's involvement in the mess, and a bit more of Plotz yelling at him, Yakko had demanded to know how they got out of the lot in the first place. Wakko didn't say anything at first, planning on just keeping the information to himself but he didn't get the option.
Plotz had made mention of terminating Ralph for allowing them to sneak off the lot. Yakko had grabbed his ear and demanded to know how they got out without being spotted.
With a yelp Wakko had blurted out about the hole in the back fence. He hadn't been going to give the information out; one of the first times Ralph manages to do his job correctly and it's to bust him and his friends again. Yakko's grip had loosened his tongue though. And Wakko refused to even mention that there was a variety of ways they could have snuck out.
Yakko had spent a few minutes telling Plotz that Ralph would have no way to know about the hole in the fence and the poor guy catches enough crap and he should just leave him alone this time and he would take care of Wakko when they got back to the tower. Wakko rolled his eyes; Yakko always stood up for the chunkhead; felt sorry for him or something.
When Wakko tried to apologize he sort of said he didn't think the whole thing was going to blow up to be the big deal that it was becoming. Come to find out it was exactly the wrong thing to say; he realized that as soon as he saw Yakko bring his fist to his mouth. Everyone started yelling and that's when Yakko came up with the fine idea of using his ear as a leash again.
"Ow! Let go Yakko! Come on I know where the tower is!"
He knew their ears were sensitive; he didn't need to grab so hard. Wakko held onto the base of his ear, trying to relieve some of the pressure.
Yakko hadn't said a word since they had left Plotz's office. The most he had done was sputter a few sentence fragments and words at him such as "can't believe it", "grounded", "stupid things to do", "big deal" and "trouble" when they were waiting for the elevator.
Wakko wondered if he should be petrified or proud – it wasn't everyday he could make Yakko stutter.
"How good did that princess look after you doused her in pie? You took pictures right?"
Oh great there's an audience.
Wakko looked around; a smattering of toons here and there were watching, either yelling out words of encouragement or downright glee. Wakko snorted to himself; he had a fan base.
"Ease off Yakko! Wish I had thought of it!" Someone else shouted.
"Where's the other ones? I want to shake their hands!" a voice came from the left.
"Please tell me the rumor of Darkwing getting punched is true!"
"Smack him good Yakko!"
"Shut up Sam - don't see you trying anything like that!"
"I got more sense!"
"You haven't got the grapes you mean!"
"Why didn't you pie that a-hole Mickey?"
"Tell me when you go next time – I want in!"
Wakko tried to ignore the comments. He really hadn't expected all this. Be nice if Yakko would let go of his ear.
Finally arriving at the ladder to the tower, Yakko released his ear and ordered him to get his rear end up. Wakko shot up the ladder like his tail was on fire, Yakko directly behind him.
Arriving at the top, he tried to enter the door before Yakko got to the top, if nothing else to get to the bedroom before Yakko could latch onto his ear and drag him there, but lady luck was not on his side. In fact she had abandoned him quite awhile ago. Yakko arrived at the top before he could even turn around and latched back on, dragging him along behind him.
Pulling the door open, Yakko entered their home, still dragging Wakko by his ear. Dot's head popped over the couch to watch the proceedings, her face a mixture of worry, curiosity, fear, and some amusement.
Catching Wakko's terrified eyes, she gave a small smile and a thumbs up, which he was somewhat grateful for - at least she was partly on his side. Stupid move or not, at least she was trying to find the humor in the situation.
He wasn't able to thank her for her support though; Yakko kept dragging him back to their bedroom.
Arriving there, Yakko finally let go of his ear and closed the door.
"Sit. Now!"
Wakko quickly sat on the chest that sat at the foot of their bunk beds, warily watching his brother, who was starting to pace in front of him. He knew the drill; how many times had he sat there while Yakko gave him one of his lectures?
Yakko hadn't calmed down a bit; if anything, he seemed angrier.
Taking a deep breath, Wakko decided to at least try to explain what happened.
"Yakko, I can explain…"
"I can't believe you even have an explanation for what you did."
Maybe he had calmed down a bit. He wasn't yelling…
"Of all the things to cross your mind to do! You…You could have been hurt! You could have been caught by TIS! What were you thinking? Oh, my bad, you weren't thinking! Like usual!"
On second thought, he hadn't calmed down one bit. He had been taking a breather to really fire up his rant.
Deciding that caution was probably the best decision at this point Wakko bit back the comment.
Voice lowered and wavering he replied, "I said I was sorry, we didn't-"
"Sorry? You have no idea how sorry you're going to be - how many times have I warned you about TIS? They grab you - you're gone - there's not a damn thing any of us can do about it! We're only safe if inside the gates or with a chaperone-"
"Couldn't think of one to bring," Wakko muttered.
"You want to make jokes right now with the trouble you're in?"
Yeah, probably wasn't a good idea.
"What if you were caught?"
Wakko, head lowered and eyes to the floor, mumbled, "We weren't planning on being caught you know."
"Oh, you didn't plan on getting caught. I sort of guessed that on my own. But you were, weren't you? Luckily it was just by our studio. But let's suppose for a second you were caught - say Darkwing had a good day or you or one of the other lunatics slipped, or one of those Disney toons somehow managed to grab you as you were bouncing around? I wouldn't be able to help you! The studio; Plotz, hell, Spielberg himself, no one would have been able to do anything, you know this! So answer me that - what would you have done?"
Wakko continued to look at the floor. He hadn't really thought about it, and had no idea what to say now.
"Answer me Wakko!"
Wakko shrugged.
"You better come up with a better explanation than that."
"I can't," he muttered. "Jeeze, I said I was sorry, what do you want?"
"What do I want? I want an explanation as to why I give you one very simple, basic, easy to follow rule - do not leave the lot - and you totally ignore it! I want to know why I've got one sibling that manages to never get in trouble and the other one can't avoid it. I'm still waiting for an answer as to what you would have done if you had gotten caught. And look at me when I'm talking to you!"
Scared and nervous, he didn't look up, just shrugged again and bit his lip. At this point no matter what he said it was going to be wrong. Yakko just usually wasn't this mad at something he had done and he had no idea how to even respond, mostly because Yakko was right; he had no idea what he would have done. He just didn't concentrate much on 'what if' scenarios.
"Wakko, you got one more chance before…"
Before Wakko could even try to present some lame-ass excuse for Yakko to analyze he felt Yakko grab him and lift him off the chest. Despite his protests, he felt his brother smack his rear end a few times, hard, as he continued to lecture him.
Over his own yelps of pain and surprise he heard Yakko saying again that he needed to think a little bit before he acted and this was probably the dumbest thing he ever imagined he could come up with and the usual lecture he always gave when he got in trouble. He wasn't sure how Yakko would take the news that they originally got the idea because of Darkwing harassing him and they were just going to get some revenge so he chose to keep quiet for the moment.
Yakko spun him back around and picked him up so they were touching noses.
Cowed under Yakko's glare, he wailed, "I said I'm sorry; we thought it would be funny and we-"
"All it was was dangerous and selfish. Think about this Wakko; what about if Plotz had wanted to terminate your contract? You heard him; that shmuck at Disney was demanding that you three be fired. If you were fired you know that neither me nor Dot would stay despite the contract. You could have cost yourself – hell - all of us, a job! Then we'd be back on the streets! Did you want that to happen?"
Wakko could hear his voice cracking as he answered in a small voice, "No."
Yakko hugged him to his chest while saying, "What if you misjudged something, ended up not getting a snack in time? You could have passed out! And you knew TIS was in the neighborhood today and you saw how fast the studio heard about what happened. You know Darkwing is helping to train some of those guys. He probably had made a call and had half the hunters running around looking for you three. If you had taken a minute or two longer to get on the property you could have been snatched in front of the gates."
"I know," Wakko sniffed.
"Did you think that we'd never see you again if you got picked up? What if you got hurt out there - I wouldn't be there to help you? Did you think about any of that?"
Wakko shook his head again.
Yakko put him on the top bunk, giving him a menacing look. "You need to start thinking about these things Wakko! I - I can't even talk to you right now. You stay in here; don't even think of coming out. You're grounded for the next month, capice?"
A month? Yakko had never grounded him that long. Yakko must have seen his face, because he continued.
"You screwed up big time kiddo; real big. What you did was dangerous, selfish, and stupid. You're not getting off easy on this one. Do not leave this room, understand?"
Wakko had never intended for his brother to get this angry with him, and he managed to choke out, "Yakko I'm sorry…"
Yakko gave him one more look and left the room, closing the door hard behind him.
Wakko threw himself face down on his bed, sobbing into his arms.
Brother furious with him, studio on the brink of firing them, TIS lurking outside the gates waiting for it, grounded for a month…
He knew he should have suggested that they play a hand of cards instead.
XXXXXXXXXX
TINY, TOONEY, AND TOTALLY INSANEY AT THE DISNEY TOON STUDIO!
Those 'Bad Boys of WB' are at it again, despite missing a member of their group.
Rumor mills report that a certain trio of juvenile toons from the Warner Brothers studio were seen inside the Disney Afternoon studios, sneaking in to cause their own special brand of havoc at the shooting of the new Aladdin Television Series.
A gravelly voiced blue bunny, a grass green wide-bottomed duck and a Scouse accented black-and-white 'puppy' boy were spotted chucking pies and banana peels, apparently with more abandon than on their own respective series, at a certain masked mallard, while pieing anyone in their path as they escaped down the streets of Burbank.
This reporter will not divulge the names of the suspected toons due to their ages and the fact that no one was able to take any photographs due to the speed of the pranks, though I'm sure all the readers can put the facts together to come to their own conclusions. I arrived after a climatic pie fight in the middle of the Disney lobby, but was able to interview several witnesses and victims of the trio's shenanigans before Disney's legal team advised me that no additional interviews would be forthcoming and I should leave the premises.
"Little hoodlums, that's all they are, they should be charged with gross toon misconduct," chief of security Darkwing Duck was quoted as saying. While he wiped Banana Crème off his abnormally large beak he continued with saying, "Especially that ink-blot kid and the malcontent mallard - just petty criminals. Look at my cape – this will never come out!"
"Highly unprofessional," sniffed Her Royal Highness, the Princess Jasmine, hair still coated in Blueberry Pie as she reclined in her dressing room. "But they are just little boys and Warner Brother's toons – I suppose we can't really expect too much."
"I jumped in to help my father and caught the dog, but his friends rescued him - that mean duck pied me! Me! Not keen gear at all - just wait until I see him at the next function!" exclaimed Gosalyn Mallard, who had been visiting the set today for the first time since her father's own series was cancelled and witnessed the stunning pie slinging display in the lobby. "I'll return the favor, he can count on that."
"Heyuck, Heyuck, they shouldn't have done it, but boys will be boys," was the statement from Goofy, who himself was the victim of a well thrown banana peel.
"All those kids did was show me exactly what Darkwing Duck has on his mind – he wants to get dangerous all right – with my girl!" Yelled an agitated Aladdin, whose first week of shooting on his new series was delayed by all the mischief. "If he's smart he'll stay far away from my fiancée or his eye won't be the only thing as purple as his cape."
"Scree-scree- awaddin! Awwwww-scree..." This statement was from Abu the monkey, long-time companion of Aladdin. Translated by Iago the parrot, another co-star on the new series, Abu apparently said "Those kids and their squirt guns – they made the director think I peed on Aladdin! I was mortified."
Taking a sip of his soda, he still couldn't believe three children sneaking in and starting a pie fight was one of the lead stories in 'The Story Boarder'; must be a slow news day. 'The Story Boarder' was ToonTown's second oldest paper and broke any stories that developed after 'The Animator' went to morning print.
He was still a little impressed that they managed to cause this sort of drama. If this didn't cement their image as 'The Bad Boys of WB', nothing would.
He had grabbed the paper when he had gone out for dinner. Not in the mood to cook, he had taken Dot to get burgers and shakes from the roach coach that ambled around the lot at all hours of the day and night.
Passing the paper box, he overheard some toon talking to Slappy about the whole mess. The ever volatile squirrel had replied that it was in the paper; if he wanted to know about it, he should buy one of the damn things and leave her alone. She had then given a thumbs up to Yakko and congratulated him on his brother's exploits before wandering away, promising to call later.
After hearing about all this, he simply had to pay the fifty-cents to read about it. He was already much calmer than before, though still angry at his brother for the scare he had put him through. When he calmed down completely, he planed on getting every shred of detail out of him.
He had gone into the bedroom before he left to see what Wakko wanted for dinner; no matter how pissed he was at him he would never deny him food. His brother had dozed off to sleep though, tear streaks staining the white fur of his face. He had decided to let him sleep; he could make him a sandwich when he woke up.
Reading on, he could see why he would be exhausted; after a half-day's worth of shoots, he, the blue terror and the green pier of girls had really outdid themselves. The article estimated that approximately eighteen pies were thrown, seven bottles of seltzer water used, one banana peel chucked behind the escaping boys, not to mention a few squirt guns and a whoopee cushion, all of which had been held as evidence by the 'moronic masked mallard', and all of which disappeared. Definitely toon created, and if they only lasted a half-hour at most, a child toon at that. If Wakko had created a third of that, which he was almost positive he did, then he had every right to be worn out.
Yakko had to laugh but was a bit disappointed that the paper had no pictures. For a major television studio with tons of cameras, and packed with tourists, everyone was suspiciously short of photographs, though he imagined Disney was just as anxious as his own studio to cover up the episode.
The thing he was most angry about now was the fact that Plotz had received the tapes and reviewed them. They must have been great because Plotz had grudgingly said he was actually impressed with the trio, but he would not let Yakko watch them, which just showed how much of a jerk Plotz could be. Yakko had half a mind to break in the man's office one night and find the things.
He was holding off on that idea. Plotz said Disney wanted a few hundred dollars from each child for the lost time and assurances that this would never happen again.
Yakko had been getting ready to go to the bank to get Plotz the money when the CEO stopped him. He had another idea, but he wanted to discuss it with all three children's parents or guardians first. Now Yakko was going to have to sit in a meeting with Plucky's parents and Buster's father on Tuesday. He was curious; he wanted to know now.
Plotz wouldn't tell him though, and hung up the phone before Yakko could embarrass himself and beg the man to let him watch the tapes.
Oh how he hoped Wakko took pictures – especially one of Darkwing coated in pie or with a large shiner courtesy of the well-built Aladdin. Or one of Jasmine slapping Darkwing which would have the benefit of being hilarious and hot all in one photograph.
With that thinking, he would rather just have the picture of Jasmine.
The phone had rung several times; Katie Ka-Boom had already called wanting full details. Bugs and Slappy had both called, wanting to know what parts were true, what parts weren't, and what parts were just plain missing from the article.
Max had called demanding to speak to Wakko. When he was informed by Yakko that Wakko wouldn't be speaking to anyone for awhile, the billionaire brat had calmed a bit. He was apparently worried that Wakko had got picked up.
Informed that Wakko was safe at home; all three of the delinquents were, Max surprised him by asking that he please pass along a message for him.
He was glad Wakko was OK.
He was pissed Wakko and the other fools pulled this sort of prank on the very day Max himself was not at the lot to be involved.
They should all know that he was going to put his five hundred dollar shoes up their ten-cent asses on Monday.
With that Max said he had to go call and leave 'a similar but not exactly using those same words' in a message for both Buster and Plucky. Before Yakko could say anything about his language or the message, before he even had time to laugh Max had barked a quick good-bye and had hung up the phone in his astonished ear.
Even Kit had called, wanting to discuss the whole episode and requesting any and all facts or photographs that managed to make themselves known.
As he smiled and turned the page, he heard a quiet noise and cocked one ear to listen; one of the bedroom doors was opening. Dot was asleep; he had put her to bed almost forty minutes ago according to the kitchen clock.
It must be the condemned than.
Yakko sighed and folded up the paper, placing it on the table next to him. No matter what, he was keeping this issue. It was going in the family scrapbook. Not that he was going to inform Wakko of that fact; not for awhile yet. Might give him ideas that Yakko was impressed…even if he was.
But first, he had to talk to the little menace; his kid brother probably thought he hated him by now. He had been harsh with him, probably too harsh thinking back on it. He was not that angry often, and while he could have a sharp tongue, he rarely turned its full potential on either of his siblings.
He was glad Wakko had finally woken up though; he really needed to eat something, and Yakko would feel a bit better if he checked his blink himself. Wakko obviously had been checking it throughout the day if he managed to do everything he had done and not had any issues with his 'problem', which pleased Yakko. It showed some growing maturity and responsibility - with that anyway.
He took another sip of his soda as he saw his brother timidly step into the kitchen. Meeting his eyes, Wakko quickly looked down and silently walked past him, grabbing a glass out of the sink. Rummaging through the refrigerator, he poured himself a glass of milk. Placing the carton back, Yakko watched him frown and begin to look for something else.
Yakko rolled his eyes, knowing what he was looking for.
"Chocolate syrup's in the upper cabinet."
Wakko mumbled thanks and reached up to the cabinet, standing on his toes. Yakko stood up and grabbed it for him, than sat back down in the chair, watching him. Finally, he sighed.
"Wakko, come here."
Wakko gave a bit of a frown, but hesitantly stepped toward him.
Moving the chair next to him out with his foot, Yakko pointed at it and ordered, "Park it."
Swallowing, Wakko sat, still holding his milk and fidgeting.
"OK, Wak," he sighed and tried not to laugh, thinking about the article. "I - just - I ...OK, I'll bite. What were you thinking today?"
Wakko looked hesitant to speak, not that Yakko could blame him too much; he had been pretty hard on him.
"Look kiddo, I'm a lot calmer now-"
Wakko looked up at him and asked, "You're not mad anymore?"
Yakko slightly narrowed his eyes. "I'm still plenty mad at what you did. You have no idea the risk you put yourself in; all of us really." He sighed, and then continued. "However, I concede that perhaps I was a bit hasty, so just tell me how you three came up with this harebrained idea."
Wakko looked at him, sighed, and began.
"Well..." He paused, and then began to speak. "That guy - you heard what he said to us Yakko! He attacked Dot and she's just a little girl and didn't do anything anyway. And you, he said you were a horrible guardian and he hoped we ended up on the streets again and we were just petty criminals…"
Yakko interrupted, "We are not petty criminals. We took enough we're actually felons if the idiot wants to get technical. Which he shouldn't; if he's a crime fighter and can't tell the difference-"
Yakko broke off in surprise when he looked at Wakko; he actually looked angry.
"You don't get it!" Wakko shook his head and drank some of his milk. "Where does he get off talking to us like that? We gave the wallet back which is where this all started and he doesn't know what we did or didn't do, not much anyway - he should have just minded his own business. And saying you're a rotten guardian – you're the best guardian we could have asked for..." Wakko sighed again, looking unhappy and frustrated. "I don't know...Buster and Plucky overheard everything and we decided to go prank him. Especially after that comment about hoping we end up penniless and alone which was a jerk off thing to say even from him."
Yakko sighed; at some point he should have figured things would come to a head with the over-zealous crime fighter. Some of it was his fault; the duck really did keep the fight going. For an adult the guy could act really childish.
Some of it was his own too; he knew he should have tried to restrain himself, not fight with the guy so much and not allow Wakko and Dot to keep antagonizing him.
He probably should try to make piece with the duck, write a letter of apology or something. This latest bit of drama was not going to help the situation any and he doubted the duck would be big enough to offer an apology for any of the hatred that had grown between them over the year plus they had known each other.
Yakko snorted; he was almost fourteen and he was having to be the voice of reason when dealing with an adult.
He'd think more about that later. Right now he had a miserable looking sibling to deal with.
"Look, Wak, I understand how angry you are, I really do. You think Dripwings nasty comments don't bother me?"
Yakko inwardly was thinking; his comments didn't bother him, it was what the guy was and potentially what he could do that bothered him. He decided to not say anything about that though; it could encourage his brother to try something else, and next time he might not be as lucky.
How to phrase…
"But you can't go running all over Burbank to pie him. Like I said before, it's too dangerous. A hilarious idea; I won't argue with that, but dangerous. Those TIS guys were around you know." Yakko held his hand up as Wakko went to interrupt. "And yes, I know you weren't caught - but you could have been. I've got ten rules, and number one is 'Don't Leave The Lot' - for any reason. I don't make up rules for the hell of it Wakko; they're there for a reason."
Wakko was still looking unhappy, but he nodded, still looking at the floor.
"Look at me Wak." He waited until Wakko raised his eyes to look at him again, and continued. "What Dinkwing said about me; I'm flattered that you decided to go risk your life to go defend my honor, really, but trust me, I'm a big boy, I can handle myself. That level of loyalty is commendable but unnecessary."
"And as far as his comment about us being criminals - we did what we needed to do to survive, we did it only when necessary, and we've been paying it back, right?"
Wakko nodded.
"So I, personally, don't care what he says. You shouldn't either; come on, if your big brother brushes off his comments, you can too, right? We're Warners; we're better than that."
Wakko, nodded, looking slightly happier.
Trying to lighten the mood, Yakko decided to continue. He had already decided to lighten up on the grounding. It still stood, but he would go from a month to two weeks which should be long enough to teach the little troublemaker his lesson.
Plus, with him cutting it in half Wakko would probably be happy enough that he'd behave himself and come off all the information that Yakko was dieing to hear.
If he had pictures Yakko thought he might even be willing to cut it by seventy-five percent and knock it back to a week.
Maybe.
Well, probably not, but he'd still like to see them.
"Now I, Judge Yakko, in my infinite mercy, am going to offer you a plea bargain. Since I could tell before you were sorry, and I was just too angry to really think clearly, I am willing to consider a sentence reduction - punishment time cut down from a month to two weeks."
Wakko's face was a mix of amusement, relief, and curiosity as he asked, "In exchange for what?"
"Well, for starters, you're doing every chore I can think of around here for that two weeks. Second; no television, phone, no trips around the lot. You can leave your room for your tutoring, shoots, meals, and whatever mind-numbingly boring task I can find." He noticed Wakko's pout, and asked, "What did you think - I was going to reduce it to time served? Be happy I'm willing to cut it in half."
Wakko still had a pout on his face, but nodded.
Yakko continued, standing and picking up Wakko, he hugged him to his chest.
"Third, please, please, please don't ever do anything that dangerous and make me worry like this again, OK?"
Wakko retuned his hug and said, "Deal."
Yakko put him back in the chair, and sat down again. "Fourth," he said, and saw Wakko stiffen. He smirked, "What did you do? I want every detail. Did you take any pictures?"
Wakko looked surprised then grinned before he said "No, sorry, no pictures."
Yakko threw his head back in frustration.
Damn. Too bad.
"OK, fine. Full details then." He started chuckling. "So you seriously smushed a pie into Dipwing's face, huh?"
Wakko grinned and nodded. "A couple of times. Used marbles and a banana peel too."
Good to see he's been paying attention to Foghorn anyway.
Yakko couldn't help it, he started laughing. "Oh wow, classic toon theory. Oh why couldn't I have seen this - my brother in action, and I miss it."
Wakko gave him a look. "Well, we could always go back and redo the whole thing and take pictures this time."
Yakko stiffened slightly. "Eeeeeeeh...don't push your luck kiddo."
Wakko was still grinning at him. "We could bring you along this time."
Yakko responded before thinking.
"Should I use cherry or apple pie?"
XXXXXXXXXX
August 6, 1994
Slouching the mop in the water, he pulled it out and set the end on the floor. Pausing to wipe his forehead, he checked his watch and groaned; it was only nine-forty-six in the morning. If there was a hell, this was it. He had done more before ten in the morning than he usually did all week.
With a sigh, he began to mop his section of the floor again. He had never seen a floor this big; he didn't know soundstages could be this big. He looked up and almost grinned at Buster who was hard at work mopping his section. Wakko had to hand it to him; the rabbit was a regular go-getter. He was scrubbing so hard his ears were flopping all over the place.
Looking to his left, Wakko saw Plucky was trying to half-ass the entire thing, only making a couple swipes at the floor before leaning on the wall. Plucky looked up, saw Wakko and grinned at him before leaning back and closing his eyes.
Noticing Buster looking at him, Wakko raised an eyebrow.
"Time?" Buster asked.
"Nine-forty-six," Wakko answered. "Four minutes from the last time you asked."
"Yeah, yeah, OK. I can't believe they're making us do this," he grumbled.
Buster wasn't exactly an early riser and getting out of bed early on a Saturday to scrub down a soundstage that hadn't been used in ten years was putting him in an unusually foul mood.
Wakko wasn't too happy with it either. He supposed it was marginally better than being at home. He was in for a miserable weekend; Yakko might have lightened up a bit and was no longer royally ticked off at him, but that didn't mean he was cutting him too much slack.
When Wakko had found out that Dot was going to be gone all weekend his blood had run cold. Without Dot there to distract Yakko, his attention could be focused solely on him. He had pleaded to go visit the old people too - didn't sound fun but it was preferable to Yakko breathing down his neck - but was told no.
Unfortunately his big mouth had once again gotten him a whole new mess of work. Yakko said if he was so eager to volunteer his time helping the elderly, he was now going to go with him the next two Sundays so they could paint Goose's house with Bugs.
Faboo.
Least it was Yakko's birthday this weekend. Sure, it sucked being grounded on anyone's birthday but Yakko wasn't mad enough at him to deny him participating in the celebration when they got back to the tower tomorrow night. He was just happy that he had already gone out shopping and got Yakko's gift before this latest bit of mischeif. And Foghorn was still willing to go shopping for the birthday cake again. At least the big chicken had a sense of humor about the whole thing even if he was annoyed with Wakko's stunt.
Upon seeing Wakko the following Monday he had exclaimed, 'Glad you been paying attention to something I say boy! Made me proud! Coulda been dangerous, I say coulda been dangerous though boy! You use that there fuzzy head 'o yours for anything besides a place to let those big floppy ears sprout out of?'
"You? I've got to do this and whatever Yakko manages to pull out when I get home," Wakko groused. "I've scrubbed the bathroom three times this week not to mention helping with the dishes every night, taking out the garbage and polishing everything in sight. Hell, I didn't even know eggs needed to be polished!"
"Yeah, boo-hoo, poor you," Plucky said, still leaning on the wall and taking a half-hearted stab at mopping. "I wish I only had to deal with some polishing. God, I've had to listen to my parents bitch all week and be their slave. And don't forget Inksplot, we've got a yard I can be sent to take care of too; at least you don't have that to deal with. God, Monty barely talked to me for the first part of the week."
"He's barely talked to any of us," Wakko pointed out.
He was over it now, but the guy had been pissed for the first half of the week. Wakko was sort of happy he was grounded so he didn't have to spend too much time around him other than at lunch.
He still sat with them at lunch and he was talking now but seemed slightly annoyed with them. When he had seen Wakko Monday he had almost malleted him while yelling about pulling dumb shit that would get one of his best friends hauled away. Oh, and he was pissed they decided to pull the prank of the century when he had been home. He said they'd damn well better include him in the next one or he'd strangle all of them.
On the positive side he had malleted Plucky much to Wakko and Buster's amusement, though that had a lot to do with the fact that it had originally been his idea and he was now confined to the house so Max couldn't hang out with him. Not that it mattered; Max just had his chauffer drive him over there and he snuck in Plucky's bedroom window.
The girls hadn't been much better at first, though their natural curiosity got the better of them and by lunch Tuesday they had practically been begging for details and blow-by-blow accounts of the entire affair.
And Elmyra kept hugging him because of what 'could have happened to her snuggly-wuggly'. While he had continued to protest that he wasn't her 'snuggly-wuggly', the hugging hadn't been too bad. He'd like it more if she did it in more private situations so the others wouldn't laugh and maybe not quite so tight.
"I think he's over it now," Plucky said. "Though it took him longer than I thought. What time are we stuck here til?"
"Three," Buster answered without looking up.
Wakko looked up in surprise as Plucky began to sing, even dancing with his mop.
"We're waiting for the clock to strike three! When it's three o'clock we'll be free! Then it's adiós-"
"Shut the hell up mallard before you eat this mop!" Buster snapped. "Every time I hear that damn song it gets stuck in my head." After glaring at Plucky for a few seconds he said, "Shit, now it's there; thanks moron. Anyway, at noon we can stop for lunch, then we're here until then. Unless we get it done sooner, in which case we get to start on the abandoned warehouses."
Wakko looked up and almost groaned again; this particular soundstage was huge. Sooner than three? He had a feeling they were going to be stuck here until doomsday cleaning this thing.
"Why the hell do we have to clean them?" Plucky grumbled. "They haven't been used in years, they have no plans to use them and they're probably just as filthy as this place is."
"I think that's the point dipshit duck," Wakko said, going back to mopping.
No point in wasting time. The studio said they had to do it, they couldn't get out of it. This soundstage and three warehouses; whether it took them one day or ten weeks, until they were cleaned they could expect to spend every Saturday morning and afternoon there doing it.
"You'd think they would've just forked over the money," Buster complained, finally stopping to lean on his mop. "It's not like it was that much."
"True. But Yakko almost jumped at the chance to have me do this instead - said something about building character or some nonsense." Wakko leaned on his mop himself and waved his hand dismissively. "Plus he didn't have to fork over the five hundred bucks some Disney executive said we owed him."
"This is stupid!" Plucky yelled, throwing down his mop, agitated. "Disney only wanted five hundred bucks from each of us and the promise we wouldn't ever come on their lot again! I know my family's got five hundred bucks and I can tell you right now I freely give my promise that I'm not setting foot on their lot. I don't even want to walk by their lot! I'm not even going to watch anything they-"
"Shut up and mop," Wakko grumbled as he splashed his mop back in the bucket. "We don't want Ralph coming by and seeing us not doing this garbage - who knows what they'll come up with next."
Plucky muttered something about not being Hampton and picked up his mop again.
"Just mop," Buster ordered. "The sooner we get this done, the sooner we can get out of here."
"I don't want to do this!" Plucky whined. "I wonder what they would do if we refused. I mean, we're just little kids-"
"Who managed to bring an entire studio to its knees," Wakko added. He was still somewhat proud of that, despite all the trouble they got in for it.
"-and normally a cleanup of this magnitude would have a crew of cleaners," Plucky finished, totally ignoring the fact that Wakko had said anything.
Wakko shrugged. He pulled off his glove; he was getting a blister.
"They'd probably give us something else to do," he said. "Plotz had a whole list of stuff for us to do to pay the studio back since they footed the bill."
Plucky looked thoughtful. "Wonder what though?"
"Could it be worse than this?" Wakko thought about it - this was hot hard work. Maybe there was something they could do in an air-conditioned building.
"I heard a suggestion of picking up the loose trash in the lot," Plucky said.
"Scrubbing out all the public bathrooms on the lot," Wakko added.
He'd rather scrub the soundstage personally. The bathrooms the tourists used got nasty. The bathroom they created on the 'Potty Emergency' episode looked sterile compared to some of the bathrooms he had seen. The cleaning crew was kept busy all day cleaning those things.
"Washing dishes in the cafeteria," Plucky said. "That might not be as bad."
"Shut up you two," Buster said. "I already know what they were originally planning on doing to us and trust me, this is a breeze compared to that. Mop."
"Oh, do you genius?" Plucky asked, stomping over to Buster and pointing his finger in the smirking rabbit's chest. "So what was our original and oh-so-much-worse duty going to be?"
"Spots on 'Baloney and Kids' for the rest of the season," Buster smirked, leaning on the handle of his mop. "And this time, no mayhem allowed and just the three of us. By ourselves. Not the rest of our respective casts and none of the normal cast for that nightmare of a show. Just us…do you get it now?"
"They'd do that?" Wakko breathed.
No Yakko and Dot? None of the usual drones on that show to distract the big orange dinosaur?
"Be real happy you two are my friends," Buster added. "Since you are I'll let you get back to work instead of braining the both of you with my mop. If you'll remember I said the entire thing was a bad idea." Rolling his eyes he added, "It's hard being the smart one."
Wakko stared at Buster who regarded him with a smirk that clearly said 'I told you so'. He cut his eyes to Plucky who was staring at Buster with a look of complete horror on his face, bill dropped open in shock.
After they all stared at each other for several seconds before they swallowed and as one began to mop again.
XXXXXXXXXX
"Would you like more pizza sweetie?"
Dot nodded as Ms. Cunningham put another slice on her plate, shooting her a smile as she did so.
"And Dot, maybe you can come over to my house again next weekend? How about that? Maybe we can go skating? Do you know you have a stain on your shirt? Mommy would make me wear that as a play shirt. Hey, I know what we can do! We can try to visit Skippy! I like him because he's really nice! You're lucky you get to work with him because he doesn't even mind playing house with us!"
Dot rolled her eyes at that one. Skippy didn't mind, but Wakko and his goofy friends had laughed at that. Even Yakko had started snickering when he heard it, but at least he was polite enough to try to hide his laughter by going into another room.
Molly clapped her hands excitedly, dropping her pizza back on her plate before saying, "Or over to Webby's! She's got a really nice house too and-"
Dot nodded, smiling at Molly as she continued to happily chat about whatever came to her mind, hardly pausing to chew a bite of pizza before chattering again.
This was more fun than she had even imagined; no wonder Wakko went away with his friends every weekend. Or every weekend he or the blue-eared terror weren't in trouble.
She snickered quietly to herself; Wakko was in big trouble this time. And while Yakko did have a few points about what if Wakko had got hurt or caught, she couldn't help it. The whole thing was funny. The entire idea of the terrible trio sneaking off with the whole intention of throwing a pie in Darkwing's face and what it had blown up into was mind-boggling. She wished it had been played on T.V.
Even quite a few of the Disney toons thought it was hilarious after the fact. Not all of them; Dot had heard that Darkwing Duck was still furious about the whole thing and Gosalyn was swearing on taking out revenge on all of them but apparently the two stars whose filming was interrupted weren't that mad. Sure, they were annoyed, but Warner Brothers studios had issued an apology to the couple, also making Buster, Wakko and Plucky write apologies to them. They had accepted the apology; Darkwing had not.
Yakko had said at some point he would also write a letter to Darkwing, but Dot hadn't heard any more about that. She hoped she wouldn't have to write one too; she hadn't done anything. She had to admit though, she wish she had. She never would though; everyone said she was too good and well behaved to pull a stunt like that. No, she didn't have the guts to deliberately try to get in trouble, but sometimes, every once in a while, she wished she did.
She had to give Wakko credit; when he saw what he perceived as some injustice he certainly took matters into his own hands. Yes it was a stupid thing to do and it would kill her if anything had happened to him; but it hadn't thankfully. And he had gone to do it because Darkwing had insulted them.
It was a mess though; Plotz and some of the people who handled publicity and public relations for the studio had been running mad about the whole thing, trying to cover it up but that hadn't worked out too well. For two days after it happened it had been mentioned in 'The Animator' and 'The StoryBoarder', along with a small segment on The Leica Reel, the show in ToonTown that gave all the latest happenings in the toon community, specifically anything having to do with entertainment.
Once again her idiot brother and his idiot friends were on there; they were the lead story on the weekend edition. Neither studio would comment on the whole episode, but a few tourists and visitors to the studio who had actually witnessed the incident had given interviews.
Dot scowled to herself as she bit into her slice of pizza; they had been on there a few times now. When they crashed the golf cart into the Batmobile, when they were at the mall, even one time when they were at the arcade. What was so interesting about that?
Yakko wouldn't let Wakko watch it since he was grounded but she knew Yakko had taped it. She was positive that Yakko would let him watch it once he was out of trouble. Despite how mad Yakko had been, after he cooled down he had actually thought parts of it were hilarious.
But it was just the fact that he was on there that had her a bit jealous. What was the sense in behaving all the time if you never got recognition for it?
No, she didn't want to be in trouble all the time and she sure didn't want Yakko mad at her, especially for something stupid. It would be nice though if Hollywood and the entertainment community at large would give some credit to the ones that actually managed to behave themselves. She wondered why 'being bad' was so much more interesting than trying to stay out of trouble.
She, Molly and Webby and a few friends of Molly's that she had met at the stable had gone to the nursing home this afternoon to visit with the elderly. She had fun; most of the old people were really interesting and seemed surprised and grateful that so many young people wanted to come by and visit with them. Yakko had been right; a few of the older people seemed mean and didn't want to talk or worse wanted to yell at them.
Ms. Cunningham and a few other adults were there supervising the entire affair. Other than hustling her and Molly off from an old man in a wheelchair that had wanted them to sit in his lap so they could talk about 'whatever popped up', the adults had mostly stayed back and chatted themselves.
She had met Ms. Cunningham's friend, Mrs. Shire, who was a lot sicker than Goose. But the woman had seemed happy that Dot was willing to sit and talk to her for awhile; she even had fed her applesauce while they talked. Ms. Cunningham had apparently purchased her agency from this lady a few years ago.
Molly and Webby, with Dot's urging had sung 'The Boogie-Woogie Bugle Boy' for Mrs. Shire and some of the other older ladies after someone found them the words for it. They had even tried to dance, despite the fact that none of them really knew the rhythm of the dance. For a spur of the moment thing though, Dot thought they did really well and everyone had clapped and cheered and told them how wonderful they did.
Mrs. Shire had told them about what it was like back then, with the rationing and victory gardens and air raids and not even being able to wear nylons. She had said she used to draw lines up the back of her legs so it would look like she was wearing them.
If nothing else it made some of the stuff in the short they had done, 'Of Course You Know This Means Warners' make a bit more sense. Of course Yakko had tried to tell her and Wakko what some of the stuff meant, but with Wakko constantly making jokes and her laughing at whatever he said Yakko had given up.
Mrs. Shire had said that was actually her favorite of the shows they had done and Dot had blushed. She personally had hated that one; she didn't like the dress she had to wear. Not only was it hot and itchy, it was pink and had huge shoulder pads which made her look like a football player.
She snickered at the memory briefly; she actually had to help both her brothers with the jitterbug dance since neither of them had exactly taken it seriously when they were rehearsing. If she hadn't helped them they both would have embarrassed themselves by tripping and stumbling over their own feet.
And of course Yakko had liked one part of it; he said he totally enjoyed the section where he got to collect the nylons. They ended up doing a lot of takes of that short section, and she really didn't think they wouldn't have needed to if Yakko had bothered paying attention to what was going on and hadn't kept flubbing his lines. She had a suspicion that he did it on purpose. Ms. Cunningham said something once about him and Kit being 'girl crazy'.
Dot wished Yakko had been at the home with her; he loved to talk to older people about that sort of stuff. He was always listening to Bugs or Slappy talk about 'the good old days'.
She took another bite of her pizza as she continued to think and Molly continued to chatter. What they were doing, something constructive that actually helped people, made them happy, she would think that would be more important than three dumb boys going to pie a duck.
Apparently not. She was almost tempted to go pie Mickey Mouse herself in order to get her and her friends some air time. Maybe then she and Molly would get to do an ad then. Despite all the trouble the terrible trio caused, it only made them more popular. The company that owned the skating rink had bent over backwards to get them - along with that butt hole Max - and they were officially going to do some sort of advertisement for them.
She scowled; she wasn't mad Wakko got to do something else that she would love to do. She was happy for him; the boys had wanted to actually work together. The small cameos they occasionally did on each other's shows didn't count. So now they could and she certainly didn't begrudge him that. She was just more upset that no matter what, she and Molly would probably never get to even do cameo's on each other's shows, not only because of the different studios, but also because 'TaleSpin' had been cancelled.
Molly was officially out of a job. She didn't seem to mind; she had barely mentioned it actually. She seemed almost happy because she could concentrate more on riding; she was going to be able to take lessons twice a week now, along with starting ballet in between her regular tutoring.
Kit also didn't seem too perturbed, but he was weird. He had only said he was tired of playing the cute cuddly cub. Dot didn't think he was the cute cuddly cub anymore; he was slightly taller than Yakko now. His voice was getting really funny; he'd sound fine one minute then the next it would get all high and squeaky.
Her and Molly had laughed at him which annoyed him so much he stayed hidden in his bedroom half the weekend. Ms. Cunningham had told them to hush; apparently it happened to all boys at some point; she said his voice was cracking.
Dot didn't know about cracking but it was really funny. And they had stopped laughing at him when Ms. Cunningham was around. It didn't stop them when she wasn't there though.
Dot looked around the pizzeria they were currently sitting in as Molly continued to chat, this time about wanting a new canopy for her bed. After a weekend of staying at Molly's house watching movies and playing with each other's hair, going to their riding lessons, shopping, making small goodies bags for the old people, and then going to visit, it was time to return home.
It was Yakko's birthday weekend too, so Ms. Cunningham had taken her and Molly shopping for him to get him a present, even though Yakko had said the fact that she didn't give him a headache from daily mischief was enough of a present for him.
But while she was out getting him a present she had spied something she thought Wakko would like. He was grounded from pretty much anything he actually enjoyed doing with the exception of playing his instruments. She had heard the melancholy tunes from his violin coming from his room when he wasn't out of it cleaning or doing some other chore. This meant Wakko was miserable and bored, and a miserable and bored Wakko was never a good thing to have around long.
But she had found a simple hand-held video game for 'Donkey Kong' at the toy store. It had cost her half her savings and it was an older game but she thought he would still like it. It would help alleviate a bit of his boredom.
She was quite pleased with herself about it. Yes, she was rewarding his bad behavior and was doing something that she was positive that Yakko wouldn't approve of. But it was sitting safe in her hammerspace, just waiting to be given to her brother who had pretty much risked his entire life - all of theirs really - to play a prank and defend her honor because some stupid duck laughed at the stains on her favorite shirt. She wished Yakko would stop trying to throw it away; it was getting annoying hauling it out of the trashcan.
Who said she couldn't be a bit naughty every now and then?
End Chapter 25 Part 2