Disclaimer: Aliens can't own Twilight.
4
London, Terra, 2621
His voice was dark – deep and gritty, arresting and chill inducing. She could recall a time when she was fourteen and in the most barren lands of Russia, surrounded by the ice of mid-winter and snow caps in the low mountains, sitting beneath the protective icicles of a great tree as she looked up at the sky and wondered what it was like to be in the center of the universe, a shiver of excitement racing down her spine at the thought; and now, as her eyes snap up to meet the black gaze of the Commander, she knows exactly what it feels like to be the center of the universe.
Rather, she knows what it feels like to be the center of someone's universe – his eyes are trained on her, body leaning in her direction, expression raw and livid and such a breakaway from his normal blank visage that Astra is left absolutely breathless. The training saber drops from her hands, the green light flickering out as it hits the mat. "Khai."
Her own voice shocks her. Flat. Wary. Dangerous. Her tone was completely disharmonious with the emotions rioting between her heart and her mind. Her hands shook, clenched, released. She exhaled and the pounding in her head grew more acute as her brain finally filtered in what he'd said in Giidal'su.
"Leave, rival. She is this-one's mate."
A tinge of red seeps into her field of vision, the grey wisp of her iris bathed bright red. Rival? Surely he didn't mean Ja'asper – but then, he was the only male near her, not that it mattered. The heart of her rage was centered on the fact that Commander Khai had the gall to march into her training session and….claim her out of the blue.
Like he had a right to do such a thing.
Her eyes narrow as she steps towards him, a low sound gathering in the back of her throat – a growl, maybe. She didn't even know she could make that sound. She'd never had a reason to before now.
A hand grips her elbow and she stops, rigidly glancing back at Ja'asper, his pale blue eyes cold and shrewd as they track the miniscule movements of the commanding officer growling not three feet away from Astra. Using his greater strength – though, not too much greater given Astra's hybrid status – Ja'asper drags her behind him, stepping slightly in front of her body, hands raising slowly in a show of caution.
It all escalated very quickly after that.
Commander Khai's eyes had grown darker, a snarl of rage passing through his lips when Ja'asper had made contact with Astra's body. He was taller than the other male, built with slightly more muscle, and he was trained to kill more efficiently than any Me'atal would ever be able to. He was faster.
And he used his speed to his advantage.
Khai's fist connected perfectly with Ja'asper's sternum before the Me'atal could even imagine what his next action would be – and Khai's body continued to move, fast, lethal, striking blows that were only blocked half the time. His sharpened teeth were bared, his mind repeating one phrase without pause: The rival touched this-one's mate. Therival touched this-one'smate. Therivaltouchedthis-one'smate.
His mind was swallowed up with the inky black emotions.
There was no light.
Dark. Possession. Rage. Lust. Death.
Ja'asper blocks a kick meant to break his jaw, the metal lacing his bones clanking painfully each time the Commander lands a hit and he had to wonder what made this Giidas in particular so…powerful. Usually, a Giidas was nothing in comparison to a Me'atal in terms of strength and speed. He didn't know about Khai's genetics, but had he any clue, he might have known that the scientists at the Giidas Institute had made Khai's body nearly indestructible – and if any harm did come to their seventh experiment, accelerated healing would fix any and all damage, a gift that Khai's primal mind had no qualms about using.
The rival blocked another ruthless attack and delivered a series of quick blows to Khai's ribs, knees, neck – hits that were designed to stun rather than kill, which made Khai release an amused growling noise, his mouth pulled into a fierce snarl. There, an open, unprotected place, right where the skull attached to the spine; Khai could kill the rival and then claim his mate and leave this place that did not smell enough like either of them. His fist moves quickly towards the rival's vulnerable spot and-
His killing blow is blocked.
Halted.
Prevented.
A small palm is curled around his knuckles, the touch both familiar and alarming.
Mate.
Coal-black eyes dart to her face with animalistic bewilderment, the pupils dilated so wide that Astra wasn't sure if she was seeing any part of his iris. His head is tilted dramatically to the side, brows furrowing in a free expression of confusion; she doesn't know how to process seeing his emotions broadcasted on his face. It's so unusual – for him, at least. She can't see any trace of the restrained, calm, collected, logical man that she had developed feelings for.
Khai was absent in this altercation. This was someone else – someone more intimidating, more frightening, more terrifyingly beautiful.
And he was beautiful, in a heart-breaking way. The strong, angular features of his face that were normally so composed and refined were alight with easily read expression. He seemed more pale and taller, though she noted the slightly gaunt appearance of his face and body.
And though she was terrified by what was happening – not to mention confused – she was still able to recognize that she missed him, still able to appreciate how he made her body react through the sharp pain of her headache.
Acknowledging that was easier than she thought it would have been. Before he left, she hadn't truly accepted that he made her feel something, both emotionally and physically. She wanted him, badly, and she didn't know how to process that desire that she was feeling for the first time in her life; perhaps part of her was relived when he left, because then she could continue to live happily in denial.
But now she couldn't deny any of it.
Astra wasn't sure she wanted to deny it.
Her fingers squeeze around his knuckles as she pulls her eyes – now a brilliant cobalt blue – away from Khai, focusing on Ja'asper, who had frozen his body, her arm crossed over his back. "Ja'asper, I think you need to leave."
Slowly, Ja'asper straightened his body, a trickle of bluish blood leaving the split of his lip, his icy eyes wary as he stares at her hand on the Commander's; he shakes his head slowly. "I don't think I should. He's…dangerous." He didn't need to add that he didn't trust the Commander now, not when a logical man behaved like a beast and certainly not with the way it looked like Khai was torn between adoring Astra and killing her.
For the second time that day, Astra feels the weight of icy detachment settle on her shoulders, her chin lifting with defiance. "He won't hurt me."
He wouldn't, she thinks, Not when he's just called me his mate. And what had Mari'Ahlice said? No violence?
There is a certain resolution in Astra's expression that halts Ja'asper's protests; she wouldn't be backing down and he knew her well enough, had trained her well enough, to know that she could handle herself. That is the only reason why he backs out of the room, closing the doors behind him, leaving a teenager alone with a dangerous creature in the low lights of the training room. He looks out at the gym with a slightly baffled expression, unsure as to how any of the several cadets training had missed the explosion of activity from the training room; the normalcy after such an abnormal even makes Ja'asper cringe, leaning heavily against the door, standing guard, unable to hear anything from the room, yet still finding solace in the fact that he didn't leave his best friend completely alone.
As the door closes behind Ja'asper, the creature inside Khai's consciousness seems to blink back to activity, his tilted head and dark eyes leaning towards her. He unclenches his fist, winding his fingers around his mate's in a vulgar display – the touch was more intimate for a Giidas than kissing due to the telepathic connections in the fingers and palms. His action was nearly obscene but he could feel the tentative telepathic connections in his mate's hand waking up, as if from a deep sleep. The connection was clumsy but bright; not well formed, but alive.
His body moves closer, crowding her personal space, chest pressing her backwards until she is leaning back onto a wall, hand trapped in his grip. He likes that he is much taller than she is and offers a particularly leering smirk, his tongue tracing his bottom lip, wanting to taste her. This creature is frustrated by Khai's usual restraint and rushes into the movement, leaning down towards his mate quickly and-
Her hand stings as she slaps him, leaving a lilac flush on his pale skin in the shape of her palm. Astra's watches sharply, her body postured in a casual fighting stance, as his pupils ebb away, revealing cool steel-toned irises.
Normal. Familiar. Not so…dark.
She jerks her hand away, slipping away from the press of his firm body, palms tingling, and a rush of acute pain making her wince as her headache suddenly returns. Odd that it had disappeared when she was touching him. She wasn't sure what to think about that and so she turns to him, more comfortable in her body than she had ever been. She felt stronger, worthy, powerful – no man would break her and this man in particular had questions to answer. "What was that?" she demands coolly, proud of the detachment in her voice.
Khai flinches slightly at her tone, scrambling for control of his own mind. Terror pulses through his blood, his metabolic functions leveling out as he forces the inky black emotions away – pushing, but unable to bury them, as they are too strong. He had the sense that the black emotions were more than just emotions.
He swallows. Was it possible that his manipulated genetic makeup had somehow borne a different personality? When the inky emotions were at the forefront of his mind, he did not feel like himself; in fact, he felt almost distant to his actions and speech, as if something else – someone else – was controlling him. Or perhaps the black feelings were allowing his true self to reign.
Both possibilities were unsettling.
Khai clenches his hands behind his back, ignoring the shaking of his body with single-minded intensity – he can almost smell her confusion and lingering fear, a fact which pains him in the most visceral of ways. He did not want to frighten her but has the notion he already has with his behavior, all of his behavior. He had much to make up for – starting with a Terran apology. "I am sorry."
Astra raises one brow. "I was under the impression that apologies were illogical."
Khai's eyes are tinted the lightest blue when he looks at her, his gaze direct and sincere. "I've come to understand that with regards to you, I am illogical."
Her breath catches. That sounded like a confession.
Khai studies her open expression, taking note of the widening of her eyes and the bright orange color of her eyes – she was curious, perhaps surprised, but not angry, and that he could work with. "I have much to apologize for, Astra," he says, aware that this is the first time he had ever addressed her without the title of Cadet. In the Gamma Quadrant, he had been so insistent on keeping her at arms length, keeping her as the Cadet instead of what she truly was – his Soulmate, his other half, his t'hy'la…and, in tune with the inky creature controlling his darker emotions, his mate. Now, seeing her color shifting eyes, smelling the tea-and-honey scent, he cannot deny the realization that had come to him during what he thought were his final moments and he had no intentions of letting her deny their connection either. He continued after a short pause, "Perhaps the most important apology I owe is for departing without informing you."
Astra shuffles back a step, suddenly feeling the weight of her training clothing and boots for the first time in months. She doesn't miss the way Commander Khai's eyes follow the dipping movement of her hip as she puts more distance between them. She wasn't expecting him to apologize, not without a multitude of reasons as to why he didn't need to – she'd been expecting a fight, had been eager to sway his opinion about the entire debacle with her fists. But he was making it so easy and Astra could scarcely remember why she was angry with him in the first place.
And then, as if in reminder, a sharp prod at her temples reminds her of the headache that had been following her like a shadow for the past two months. She scowls at him, lifting her chin. "No," Astra disagrees. "You owe me an explanation about what happened between us and why it happened and then maybe I'll consider your apology for running away like a scared little boy."
Khai feels his brows rise by a quarter of a centimeter. Interesting. She requires an explanation with the apology. He had not anticipated that, but nevertheless, the explanation came from his mouth tonelessly, his head tilted slightly to the left as he speaks to her in the language of the High Clans. "Fulfilled Shan'hal'lak, t'hy'la. This-one had been foolish to deny the fledgling bond and the connection that was formed between the minds in Egypt. The Engulfment, love at first sight, the calling of the souls, was not understood by this-one, as this-one did not believe that this-one's genetics would promote such a connection. The events that occurred in this-one's office were the product of an unfulfilled Shan'hal'lak and the creation of the First Bond."
"This-one understands," Astra says, unconsciously speaking back to him in Giidal'su, her own honeyed voice calm like water before a tsunami. "What is this First Bond?"
"The First Bond is a linking of minds of a pair to be mated," Khai answers immediately, following his body's commands to step towards his mate. "This-one apologizes for not explaining this earlier, t'hy'la."
Mated? Astra would have to think more about that – she felt something for the Commander, of course, but the way he spoke sounded so final. "If this First Bond was created, then why was your absence felt?"
His lips twitch slightly, pulling down at the corners – he didn't want to answer this question, but he would, for her. He takes another step closer, tentative. "This-one was in denial. T'hy'la, you have this-one's grief for this-one's mistakes. This-one requests forgiveness."
Forgiveness. There's that word again.
Astra observes his slow approach with a touch of amusement; he didn't seem to be able to control himself, something which she found flattering. Her amusement doesn't tame her curiosity though, even as her ire begins to melt away – Mari'Ahlice had been right in her premonition, it seemed, as forgiveness was coming much easier than violence had. She could sense that he still felt guilty for leaving her and she decided, quite ruthlessly, that he should.
Khai steps into her personal space again, making no other moves to initiate body contact. She wasn't backed into a wall this time and his eyes were a calm turquoise-tinged-steel instead of black; she felt safe and knew that she could leave at any time.
If she wanted to. Did she want to?
"T'hy'la," he murmurs.
Astra looks up at him, her speech switching back into Standard. "What does that mean? I've never heard it before."
Khai's ears heat up the lightest purple, though his gaze remains steady, his face coolly blank. "It means Soulmate. You are my t'hy'la."
Her heart thunders in her chest. There was no mistaking that as a confession. The pain between her temples flares again, blindingly sharp, and her hands come up to her forehead as she flinches, cringes away from the low lights of the training room.
Large, warm hands press over hers. Astra hears a low masculine gasp a second before she is pulled against his solid chest. For a second, she thinks about pushing him away, but his strength, his spicy scent, feels so comforting, so right, that she melts against him instead, one of her hands moving to grip the stiff coat of his uniform, wrinkling it.
Khai presses his fingers to her exposed temple and – even without creating a formal link – he can feel the acute pain through their silver chain. He adjusts his fingers, gently opening a link between their minds, sending his hayal, his innate calm towards his suffering t'hy'la, though he had little to spare due to the lurking shadow in his mind that was causing him a mild amount of distress. The sacrifice was more than deserved.
Astra exhales softly when she feels the slow intrusion into her mind and, feeling so tired suddenly, weakly taps the hand on her face. "What are you doing?"
You are unwell, he answers in her mind. Sickness from a strained bond has injured your mind.
You did this to me?
It was not my intention, he says very softly, deep voice nothing but a whisper, a soft caress over the frayed edges of her mind. You have my deepest regrets.
The persistent headache eases by tiny increments and, once Astra is able think clearly for the first time in two weeks, she directs her thoughts towards Khai; unused to communicating in this way, she pushes the thought towards him with enough force that he recoils a little. Why did you leave?
I…was convinced that my absence would be beneficial to your health and my own. I attacked you in my office and put both of our careers at risk. The emotional compromise was abnormal for me – however, upon reflection, I have ascertained a pattern of compromises I am willing to make for you, illogical as they may be.
You think you attacked me? Astra inquires softly, this time barely pushing the thought forward, pleased when Khai's mind seems to reach for it. The connection between them was fully open again, like it had been on that day, and she was fully ensconced in his steel mind, her own white mindscape behind her; she felt so comfortable in this place that did not belong to her and suspected it was because he welcomed her presence.
I did attack you.
She is surprised by the conviction in his voice – he truly believed that his advances weren't wholly welcomed. Quite suddenly, his reasons for leaving became valid; she understood exactly why his answer was tinged with the barest amounts of shame and guilt.
Khai, she says, rooting through her memories, showing him how she felt about what they had shared, even if she was confused by it. I wanted that. I wanted you. I still do, even though I'm mad at you and hurt that you left.
T'hy'la…
What am I to you?
Khai pushes away the swift shyness that threatens to overcome his detached façade. You are, in the simplest of terms, my mate, he answers, mollifying the inky black creature prowling away in the back of his mind. Now that he is holding his lithe t'hy'la against his chest, he feels no inclination towards abruptly falling beneath that shadowy, primal influence; in fact, with Astra's warm breath bleeding through his uniform, Khai experiences a level of unprecedented calm. He feels whole, more complete than he ever had in his entire life.
And in specific terms?
I wish to fully bond with you, t'hy'la, mated for life with future promises of children and peace. To grow into my old age with your hand in mine is an image that haunts my most private dreams. I want everything.
Something stronger than warmth blossoms in Astra's mind, painting her mindscape a delicate lavender that seeped across their silver chain; the forgiveness that she had been idly struggling with comes instantaneously, shadowed only by the utter devotion the depths of her mind shows him. A strong presence guides her towards the silver mist-shrouded chain that connected their mindscapes and she touches it with gentle fingers, entranced by how deceptively strong the link is. What is this?
Our bond. It is very strong…I did not think myself able to create such a link.
Why?
A tiny bloom of pain travels through the chain, making it known in Astra's mind. I was created to be a superior being with no need for such connections. I had not anticipated the possibility of …
Not being alone anymore? Astra finishes, reaching towards him both in her mindscape and in reality; her lips press against his cheek as her arms wrap tightly around his neck, her headache completely absent. Oh, Khai, she says softly. She had no words that felt suitable enough to give him, not as she was exposed to the gaping pit of loneliness that had been part of his mind since he was born.
In response, Khai simply holds her tighter, burying his face in her neck, overcome with the tea-and-honey scent. He thought he might have felt embarrassment for showing her the weakness he constantly denied, but he felt strength in knowing that she accepted his flaws, his loneliness, and his sense of abandonment. And the exchange was not one-sided – Astra exposed the dark places of her mind with a freedom that was enviable, allowed him to see her poor sense of self-worth, the measures she went through to punish herself for things beyond her control. Truly, they were a well-made match; for all the flaws and missing pieces, they fit together quite well and helped soften the jagged pieces of their minds.
They complete each other in profound ways.
You'll never be alone again, Astra tells him tenderly, reaching for their silver chain, feeling the ghost of Khai's fingers against her temple. It was only fitting that she completes the Second Bond after he initiated the First.
They both watched as the links of their silver chain grew smaller, tighter, the length of the chain shrinking, pulling their mindscapes closer together. The mist thickened, now a pale lavender shade – the color signifying love in Giidas culture.
Astra is the first to pull away, gently pushing Khai's fingertips away from her temple, looking up at him with vivid lilac eyes, a color which was faintly reflected in his own gaze. She rocks onto the tips of her toes, using his shoulders as leverage, her lips brushing against his as a flash of heat washes over her through their bond. Their kiss is chaste in comparison to the one they previously shared, but no less passionate, as they separate with flushed face and brighter eyes.
Her hand traces the shell of his ear, enjoying the way she can feel him shiver through the bond though his only physical reaction is a slight dilation of his pupils. "I might have forgiven you, Khai, but I will not forget," she says, her gaze direct with confidence she wouldn't have had seven weeks ago.
Khai understands the full consequences of what his absence had done to them both and solemnly nods. "I will endeavor to prove myself," he promises, sealing his words with a glide of his fingertips across her own, the sensitive telepathic nerves greedily absorbing his conviction.
Astra is sure that he will.
A/N: Early update! I know, I know – some of you might say she forgave him too easy, but, honestly, I'm not a person to hold a grudge and I don't think I could write a character that doesn't forgive, either.
Shout out to the first 10 reviews of the last chapter –
Koba – Sister Gypsy? I laughed so hard I cried!
Leslie E – I'm busy. I write what I can and update frequently.
Merylin – Sorry for the cliffhanger – sometimes they must happen! lol
LunaDiSangue85 – LOL Yes, lecture the character in the review. Do it again!
that'snotmyname69 – I promise, I update as quickly as I am able!
Guest Undercover Angel – My number 1 fan!? COOL!
boo1414 – lol Like oil and water.
CdrIvanova – You're like, the only person who wasn't mad at him for that! Lol
I Heart JuJuBee – I loved your review so much I'm saving it onto my computer!
YesMyRealNameIsBella – Yes! That would be a lovely picture! Lol
vampyregirl86 – Yep, Giidal'su that Ja'asper wouldn't understand! Lol
btlesfan4 – Your boyfriend just doesn't understand! Lol
mamacat20 – Yes! Encourage the violence!
Super special shout out to the first review of the last chapter – Musegirl – More interaction to come!
As always, be brutally honest. I can take it.
~cupcakeriot
P.S. – I will be posting a question on Facebook within the next day that will pertain to the next chapter. Yes. You read that correctly. YOU are going to decide a major event in the next chapter!