Chapter Twenty-Six.
New Way Of Living.
Finnick grips my elbow as if anticipating my next move, but I am as speechless as the Capitol torturers have rendered Leila. I remember being informed that they did something to Avox's tongues so they could never talk again however in my head I can still hear Leila's voice, playful and bright as it echoed across the dinning room at school or chuckling as we spent the days on the beach or complaining about homework. I am very aware that if I make any movement towards her or make any act of recognition would result in punishment for her. Therefore we spent the little time we have staring into each other's eyes.
Leila, now a mute slave; me, now heading off to slaughter. What would we say anyway? That we're sorry for each others lot? That we ache for the other's pain? That we are glad of the years of friendship we had? Truthfully, Leila shouldn't be glad she knew me, if I had acted more concerned when she first attempted to leave District 4 she wouldn't have left. Wouldn't be an Avox now. And more specifically, wouldn't be my Avox because President Snow has so obviously had her placed here for my own torment.
For a second, Leila's mouth twitches slightly into a smirk – a fucking smile! Cheeky little bitch! I yank my elbow from Finnick's grasp and headed down to my old bedroom, locking the door behind me. I sit on the side of the bed as anger swells up inside me, elbows on my knees and forehead on my fists. Leila is laughing at me. How is that even possible for her to even be able to look me in the eye at this moment in her life!?
When Dieter eventually knocks on the door to summon me to dinner, I get up and slip off my dress, folding it neatly and setting it on my table next to the door before washing off any traces of the make-up applied by Vibia and then redressing in a simple shirt and trousers outfit made from silk before heading down to the dinning room where Finnick, Mags, Dieter, Vibia and Tiberius are already sat waiting for me so they can start. During dinner I'm not aware of much except that Leila and the blue haired Avox from District 4 are our servers. The others remain chatting about the opening ceremony but the only time I feel personally involved in the conversation is when my name is mentioned in a complimentary manor but after Leila's attitude earlier I am still angry and when she goes to dish me up some food, I snatch the utensil from her hand. Leila looks a little taken back by my actions and Dieter smacks my hand whilst hissing. "That isn't your job, Anastasia." And then, I let go.
When we go and watch the recap of the opening ceremony, I wedge myself between Dieter and Vibia on the sofa because I don't want to be next to Finnick or Mags. This awfulness and regret about Leila belongs to me and not to the others because despite knowing Leila, not personally but being aware to the friendship we had is too difficult to feel their presence but they still don't understand. At least Dieter and Vibia remain clueless enough for me to act semi-normal. As we watch the processions to the City Centre, I think how it's bad enough that they dress us all up in costumes and parade us through the streets in chariots on a regular year. Kids in costumes are silly but ageing victors, it turns out, are pitiful. A few who are on the younger side like Finnick, Johanna, Peeta and Willow or whose bodies haven't fallen into disrepair, like Seeder and Enobaria, can still manage to maintain a little dignity. But the majority who are in the clutches of drink or morphling or illness, look stomach turning in their costumes, depicting cows and trees. Last year I remember loads of discussion about each contestant but tonight there's only the occasional comment from Dieter. The crowd goes wild when Finnick and I then when Peeta and Willow appear, both sets of tributes looking young and so strong and beautiful. The very image of what tributes should be.
As soon as it's over, I stand up and thank Vibia for her brilliant ideas for my outfit. I don't thank Tiberius because he isn't my stylist and Finnick will no doubt thank the man himself. As I head off to my bedroom, Dieter calls with a reminder to meet early for breakfast to work out our training strategy. But despite Dieters attempt to sound cheery, his voice is hollow and falls upon hollower ears as I bolt the door shut behind me before resting my forehead on the soothing cold wood with tears forming along the lashes, suddenly all the anger I had saved up since the announcement, all the hysteria I hadn't released through my screams that night pelted out of me in a single moment and everything breakable inside my chambers becomes my enemy. I hate it all, everything fucking Capitol made or housed, I despise. Throwing my strong arm back, I knock the vase from the table beside the door flying across the room smashing against the wardrobe with the rose flowers falling lifelessly to the ground. A lamp I think was next to face my wrath as I kick it firmly from my night stand beside my bed, the bulb and glass base smash against the firmness of the walls. I break a glass and a plate – which I have no idea why is even in my bedroom but hey – before I realise that the blue haired Avox boy was collecting my Tribute Parade outfit for Vibia. He coughs grabbing my attention. I turn swiftly to face him. "I'm sorry." I apologise before unlocking the door and opening it ajar before moving away so he can exit without feeling afraid. The Avox studies me with curious eyes before dropping the clothing back to the table top and I swear he actually huffs before making his way over to the shattered vase on the floor.
"Leave it!" I yell at him, "Just leave it alone!"
I hate him, too, with her knowing reproachful eyes calling me a coward, a monster, a puppet of the Capitol. At least he tried to flee the place that wanted our lives paid for something that was never our fault. But for me, the crimes I commit in the arena will be paid with more blood but this time my own but how many more lives will have to be taken for me to meet my end.
But instead of fleeing the room, the boy closes the door before heading into the bathroom and returning with a damp cloth before gesturing me to sit on the edge of the bed. I obey, curious to what he is doing and I'm completely shocked to watch him kneel in front of me to wipe my face gently with the cloth. Once he had done wiping my face, the Avox goes to work on my bleeding hands which I hadn't actually noticed until the sudden warmth made the exposed wounds sting and myself jerk slightly, touching the Avox's hand on impulse, the male looks at me with an apologetic look and then continues with a gentler touch. Thankfully the cuts weren't deep enough to effect performance which was a bonus I guess with the located destination I was heading into.
"Why are you doing this?" I ask in a whispered voice, the boy refolds the cloth the blood covered portion was hidden beneath cleaner layers before he re-wiped beneath my eyes. The Avox looks up at me, for a brief moment our eyes connect but he doesn't speak or attempt to answer my question, I am saddened by this but then it just confirms the Capitol's tongue cutting method. "You really can't speak, can you?"
The Avox boy shakes his head.
"Would you?" I ask.
The boy looks up at me again before furrowing his brows in a questioning expression. I chuckle lightly causing him to smile.
"If you could speak, would you talk to me?" I explain a little more in detail.
The Avox boy nods his head.
"Sorry about the mess." I say glancing around to look at the smashed pottery and china. Despite the boy silently dismissing me with the use of his hand, I cannot leave him alone to clean up this mess, therefore I spend the next hour helping the blue-headed boy clean up the room. When all the rubbish has been dropped down a disposal, he turns to my bed but I refuse to get in seeing that I haven't had a shower so he picks up my Tribute Parade outfit before smiling at me then leaving. After I have had my shower, there is a little knock at the door but I'm simply wearing a thin robe therefore I don't answer it allowing the person on the other side of the door to think I'm sleeping but with Finnick I would have no such luck so the previous victor lets himself in making me jump.
"Finnick!" I hiss, "Will you advert your eyes so I can put some clothes on!"
My district partner laughs loudly, "Don't flatter yourself, Anastasia. You're not the first semi-naked woman I have seen."
"I might be your last, Mr Odair." I snap back in reply from the bathroom where I manage to savage my clothes which I wore at dinner from the hamper hidden under the sink. When I return Finnick is looked rather amused but I ignore the look of ignorance. "Can I help you?" I ask.
"I wanted to talk to you about the female Avox." he says, shifting his eyes in all directions gesturing to hidden microphones and/or cameras. "Seeing as this is our last week living, I thought it would be nicer for myself to have her, leaving you with the male." he says with a smile. I could leap into Finnick's arms but the threat of hidden cameras stops me, I know why he is saying these things, it's so Leila and myself will have as little contact as possible, meaning no feelings will get in the way of her doing her jobs and me concentrating on staying alive.
I nod, "I don't mind at all." I reply with a twice as happy smile. Plus I enjoyed the company of the male Avox, he is nice and it's a shame to see him in such silent pain not being able to speak or express feelings or beliefs.
"Good." Finnick grins, stepping forwards to kiss my forehead and then winking, "I'll see you in the morning." Then he leaves, shutting the door behind himself.
xxx
I wake early, just as the sun is peaking over the horizon of the hills surrounding the Capitol as I adventure from my bed and stumbling to the bathroom in order to gulp down water from the tap without the use of a glass – because I had smashed that last night – to sooth my incredibly dry throat. It was a surprise to find my dreams not completely riddled with nightmares however when I wake, my clothes are dampened with sweat. And to delay going to breakfast, I set the shower to the longest programme and climb in.
I don't really want to go and discuss mine and Finnick's training strategy. What is there to discuss? Every victor already knows that everybody else can do. Or used to be able to do, anyway. Finnick will display his usual confidence and maybe try to charm a couple of the other female victors. Willow, no doubt. And me, what am I suppose to do? Throw knifes or stay in the shadows without the ability to handle my temper? It wouldn't be like last year, these victors will be looking for the strongest others to create alliances with, I might have been one of the strongest last year but this year, I start at the bottom with the disadvantage of not knowing anyone on a friendship relationship bases. Apart from Finnick and possibly Johanna and Peeta. I'm especially not comfortable speaking about it with Leila standing mutely by.
The shower washes and rinses my hair and body perfectly before clicking off. I exit and wrap myself in a cotton towel from the trail beside the unit. In my bedroom, I notice Vibia has left my outfit for the training sessions on the table with a note which reads: The clothing is made from sweat-wicking Dri-FIT meaning you will be comfortable and sweat dry throughout the training sessions. Good luck. Once I had dried myself off, I dress slowly into the new outfit, it's different from last years outfit because it's skin tight, the trousers are quarter length, the top was completely sleeveless with thin straps and the shoes were not boots but normal black trainers. The only thing that remained similar about last years training outfit and this years, the number of my district remained printed on the back of my shirt.
I brush my teeth before exiting the bedroom ready to face the people in the dinning room, only, there wasn't any. The entire flat was empty of human life, I glanced at the clock, it was seven and we weren't ordered to be down at the Training Centre until ten. Vibia then exits from the balcony overlooking the city to grin happily at me followed by a small cloud of smoke. "Good morning, Princess." she beams brightly.
Raising an eyebrow at her whilst heading off to the dinning area to see food set out in bowls and on plates with serving utensils so I can help myself. "Am I late?" I ask beginning to load my plate with delicious food.
Vibia shakes her head, "No, everyone else is still sleeping." she replies helping herself to a cup of black coffee and raising it to her lips without adding sugar or milk. I take a seat at the table before tucking into my selection of food: scrambled eggs and ham, sausages, fried potatoes and beans which overloads on my plate. Vibia watches me with her narrow eyes and sharply angled features, today she wears a rather beautiful outfit made from what looks like a corset and a skirt attached to the bottom that floats down to just above her knees, both covered in black lace. Her black shoes that cover her ankles are made from leather with the large heel created from solid silver carved into a dragon.
"If Dieter isn't up yet, how come you are?" I question through my mouthful of food, washing it down with a mouthful of lukewarm hot chocolate. Vibia looked almost shifty for a moment but she manages to cover it perfectly.
Her eyes connect with mine, "Planning, my dear." she replies moving to the seat opposite me at the table.
"Planning what?" I ask, curiosity grips me.
Vibia smiles up at me, "Your next outfit." she winks.
I sign, "Princess or Queen themed?" I question.
My stylist looks down into the black sea of her coffee held in the marble cup. "You'll just have to wait until the night to see." she replies.
Why is she being so secretive? Surely me knowing what my outfit will be for the public appearance will only help me prepare for walking and sitting. Vibia doesn't elaborate on what she said beforehand so I don't pry. Instead, I return to my meal and wait for the rest of the District 4 team too wake to the morning.
Finnick greets us, dressing in an almost completely identical outfit. Like mine, his top was sleeveless and had our district number printed on the back however unlike my outfit, his skin tight trousers are full length. My district partner loads his plate with food before sitting down in the seat Vibia had vacated. Mags still hadn't emerged from her bedroom and I begin to wonder how she even managed to mentor and raise Finnick but I guess she was much younger back then and it was before the stroke. Granted, Mags can speak but she mumbles and nine-times-out-of-ten, the elderly woman finds it easier not too speak. Was this how President Snow was going to assure I die in the arena in a weeks time? Giving me the most useless mentor possible.
"Today, in training, you have two jobs." Finnick says after swallowing his mouthful of food, "One, show off your skills."
"Easy enough." I say.
"And two, make some friends." says Finnick, stressing the word make and friend in a teasing manor.
My brows furrow, "No." I say, "I don't trust any of them, I can't really stand most of them, and I'd rather it be jut the two of us."
Finnick looks up from his plate, setting down his knife and fork. "But that isn't going to be enough, your going to need allies," he insists, my heart palpitates at the word 'allies'. The last people I called allies in the arena was Cassandra, Alden and Garrett, they all died horrible deaths, most happening in front of me.
"W... Why?" I stammer.
The pain I feel registers to my ex-mentor, "Anastasia," Finnick says softly. "You're starting at a distinct disadvantage, most of your competitors have known each other for years. If you don't make any friends, who do you think they're going to target first?" he asks, his tone drips with confidence as he knows the answer to the question he just asked.
I sign heavily. "Me. And nothing I do is going to override any old friendships. So why bother?" I ask.
"Because you can fight, throw knifes and you're clever. You're also popular with the crowd. All that will make you a desirable ally. But only if you let the others know you're willing to team up with them." Finnick says.
"You mean you want to be in the Career's this year?" I ask unable to hide my distaste. Traditionally the tributes from District 1, 2 and 4 join forces however that didn't happen last year, not completely. Garrett Larkin joined them but I refused making myself a target. It's possible the Careers will take in a few other exceptional fighters – Alden's sister, Jacqueline joined them last year, only to hunt us down – and then, they hunt down the weaker competitors.
"Not necessarily. Everyone's a victor this year. Make your own pack if you'd rather. Choose who you like." he tells me.
"Would you be in my pack?" I question.
Finnick lets out a howl of a laugh, "I thought I already was."
Grinning, I turn back to my plate, "Who would you suggest?" I ask.
"Johanna and Beetee. Although neither of the District 12 pair are to be ignored." says Finnick, "We need to team up with people of use to us. Remember, you're not in a ring full of trembling children anymore. These people are all experienced killers, no matter what shape they appear in."
Finnick is right. But who can I trust? Seeder, maybe but do I really want to make a pact with her knowing I may have to kill her later? No. Still, Cassandra and Alden made a pack with me under the same circumstances. Johanna would be a great ally however I have seen her kill, the way she managed to trick everyone during her games but that won't work for her now. Beetee would be a incredibly valued ally seeing as he can eliminate a large number of tributes at once but then again, the victors will be extra careful around the arena.
Dieter shows up all made up to take us down to the Training Centre but I tell him not to bother because last year myself and Garrett were always one of the first pairs of tributes in the gym and Finnick doesn't like the idea of us showing up in the gym with a babysitter and for me being the youngest victor, it's even more important for me to look independent. Therefore, he has to satisfy himself with taking us to the elevator, but not before Mags has patted us on the shoulders, giving us silent good lucks before giving Dieter the chance to fuss over our hairs and he even went as far as pushing the button for us.
It's such a short ride that there's no real time for a conversation and when we arrive, all the worrying that Dieter did seems useless to find that only Brutus and Enobaria are present in the training room. By ten o'clock, only about half of the tributes have shown up. Atala, the woman who runs training, beings her spiel right on time, unfazed by the poor attendance. She must expect it. Silently, I am relieved because that means there are a dozen people I don't have to pretend to make friends with. Atala runs through the list of stations available, which include both combat and survival skills, and then releases us to train on our own.
A/N: Review and tell me what you think of this chapter!