Rules and Truths of Fusion Fall

by BluBrotherD

A young sergeants list of truths he's discovered during his time in the war against Fuse. First page is a prologue. Skip it if you just want to get to the funny stuff. Disclaimer: Some of these rules were inspired by and relate to the works of other authors. "lightning bird" and "Tatyana Witwicky" are some examples. Go look them up for some good reading.

26. Page: Weapons

E.C.F. Rules and Truths Special Section: Weapons and Armor

(Because some of you people obviously need help.)

Active at all times.

Last Updated: 2018

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1. The B-99 Hornet does not use actual hornets nests for ammo.

(You're sure? - #4)

(Yes. I'm sure. Back away from the nest Numbuh 4. - #2)

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2. Pop Guns do melt.

(So keep them refrigerated before use.)

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3. Stop stealing other peoples mail to make Throwing Mail Stars.

(We know Numbuh 1 made it look cool, but that is a serious crime.)

(Also, the adults are tired of their paychecks being late.)

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4. Stinkfly Stinkbombs are banned from indoors. Permanently. Forever.

(It only took one.)

(One to render the entirety of Dexlabs uninhabitable for a week.)

(I still can't get the smell out of my nose.)

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5. Lemonade Grenades are painful, but also refreshing.

(Especially in summer.)

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6. Crystal Gem Apples taste terrible.

(Just ask Tree Trunks and Billy.)

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7. Do not put your Egg Bombs in a boiling pot of water.

(. . . I don't even . . . I can't. - Dexter)

(I know Sir. I know.)

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8. Do not use Shower Spreaders to clean yourself off quickly.

(Especially when you're out in the middle of public.)

(The pressure settings are too intense for normal clothing.)

(What's everybody laughing at? - Ben)

(Lets just say the moon rose early. XD - Kevin)

(EEEP! 8O - Ben)

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9. If you pick up a Morbucks Crownarang, do not assume you can keep it.

(Give that back! - Princess Morbucks)

(No way hair puff! This gold will set me for life! - Eddy)

(Yeah, all five seconds of it! - Princess Morbucks)

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10. Any Rubber bands and Paper Clips you find in an office are not ammo. Leave them there.

(KND)

(Mandys secretaries are getting tired of having to buy new ones everyday.)

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11. Same goes for Crayons.

(Hey! Those are mine! - Bubbles)

(They'reneededforthewareffortthankyouforyourcontributionbye! - #13)

(Not a typo. He talks as fast as he runs.)

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12. Make sure you use the bathroom before putting your Black Knight armor on.

(Just trust me.)

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13. The Snotgun no longer makes its targets sick. Do not use it on yourselves to try and get out of monitor duty.

(Now he tells us. - Ben)

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14. Pointing your G.U.M.Z.O.O.K.A. into your mouth and pulling the trigger is not the proper way to unload it.

(Owowowowowowowowow! - #4)

(Let go of the trigger ya fool! - #5)

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15. Do not ask others to feed you with their Marshmallow Launchers.

(Ow! Ow! Ow! - #2)

(Hold still! - #4)

(I am! Your just a terrible shot! - #2)

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16. Do not do high fives when wearing your Eightball Fireball Cannon.

(Oops. - Coop)

(I'm okay! - Jamie)

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17. Or your Dodgeball Cannon.

(Oops - Dexter)

(I'm not okay! - Ben)

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18. Rainbow Monkeys are not acceptable ammo substitutes for your T.H.U.M.P.E.R.

(My babies! - #3)

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19. Only use the Val Hallen Axe if you actually know how to shred.

(Many ears bled when those first came out.)

(So! Bad! Make it stop! - T.O.M.)

(And Audio Receptors.)

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20. Please do not pay a cashier with your C.H.A.N.G.E. M.A.K.E.R.

(You'll always overpay and have to recount.)

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21. Do not dice up your Caliente Bomb.

(Why?! - Dexter)

(Some people just like really spicy food I guess.)

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22. If you find a random Apple of Discord out in the open, do not pick it up, and do not take a bite out of it.

(Hi ya Eris, wanna bite? - Billy)

( 8O - Eris)

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23. Do not open a Tin Mine to put toppings on your pizza.

(If the explosion doesn't do you in then the stench will along with everyone else.)

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24. Wildvine Seed Bombs should not be planted in your garden.

(Number Three!? - Blossom)

(Blossom! Look! My flowers grew up so fast, and they love me! :D - #3)

(Number Three those vines are going to crush you! - Blossom)

(Naaaah they're just being clingy. Newborns are like that. - #3)

(. . . I'm just going to get you out of there now while you can still breath. - Blossom)

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25. Keep Fuzzy's Meat Gun away from Billy!

(Meeeeaaaaat! - Billy)

(Take cover! - Ben)

(It's useless! He'll just eat it! - Dexter)

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26. Do not use your Surge Cannon to try and charge your phone.

(It'll just get fried.)

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27. The Corn Popper should not be used in close proximity to others.

(Those things tend to misfire and you might knock someone for a loop and give them head trauma.) *

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28. You do not need to lose a limb in order to use the Cannon Of Doom. Stop asking the doctors to amputate your arm when you get a scratch.

(But it would look so cool! - #4)

(No. - #1)

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29. Do not use your Trumpet Blaster to play "Reveille" in the morning.

(Some people have sniper rifles set up in their windows.)

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30. The Chill Caster only has one setting. Frozen. Do not use it to chill your drinks.

(Especially when your holding the drink.)

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31. The Heatblaster only has one setting. Incinerate. Do not use it to thaw out frozen people.

(My hat is on fire! My hat is on fire! My hat is on fire! - Billy)

(Billy just take off the hat! - Mac)

(Whose dumb idea was it to use a flamethrower? - Bloo)

(Yours! - Mac)

(Oh. Right. - Bloo)

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* Recommendations: Go check out Lightning Birds "Language Barrier" for major laughs!

Post Note: Go check out the FusionFall Wiki for details on these weapons if you don't know what some or any of them are.