Note: Thank you to everyone who has been so kind to follow this story. You are always so supportive! Many thanks to those of you who left reviews since the last chapter, which I greatly appreciate: TinDog, Moon in Scorpio, hbndgirl, Erin Jordan, ulstergirl, EvergreenDreamweaver, Paulina Ann, sm2003495, hlahabibty, BMSH, BeeBee18, Caranath, and max 2013. Hope you enjoy...
The Stages of Conviction
Chapter 26
"I'll miss you so much," Callie said to Iola and Johnny, her conviction crystal clear. "I wish I could cry now, because my heart wants to ache. I'll remember everything you said."
"You won't remember a thing," Iola said kindly. "You must know that. You'll have absolutely no recollection of us, of this time. You're in a void now, and may be for a long time. But this is real, Callie. This time and this choice is a gift that most do not receive."
Callie turned around and hugged the suddenly tangible Iola tightly. "I will remember you and love you forever," she said, and Iola smiled and kissed her cheek.
"I know," Iola responded. "One day we'll talk about all of this- but not for a long time- if destiny will have it that way. Your purpose on Earth is not yet done. You are forever my best friend." She smiled. "You won't know you're doing this, but your relationship with Joe helps him heal from my death, and your connection to the both of us helps to keep me alive in some sense. I'm watching over him and my family. And you are always in my heart."
Callie nodded, and turned back to John. "And you…" she replied, still wishing she could feel more, not be so distant, "you are the second greatest love of my life, my darling Johnny. I love you with every breath I take."
"The numbness is for your protection," he replied to her unasked question. He held her hand to his chest again, and she felt the warmth; the light; the safety. She kissed him goodbye.
"You will have a guardian angel over you for the rest of your earthly life," he told her. "Are you ready, sweetheart?" he asked, holding her close in his arms.
She nodded, and, suddenly, felt images speed up, felt herself sucked through a vortex of time. For the briefest moment, she could see.
When she landed, gasping as oxygen rushed to her lungs, she felt not Johnny's arms, but Frank's, clinging to her; deep brown eyes, not green ones, red with tears for her; a soft, gentle voice, not a strong, outspoken one, whispering words of love and uttering prayers to a god she didn't even know he believed in. And even when the pain almost crushed her, and it did, it was okay.
Because the warmth she felt throughout her whole body as her soul found its home was more beautiful than she could have imagined. She couldn't move, she couldn't speak, and she could not think, but it didn't matter: with him, she was safe.
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Joe watched as Biff Hooper strode towards him in the hospital lobby. He walked to him and found himself enveloped in a tight hug. After a few minutes, he slowly pulled away.
Biff's eyes were watery and his expression was pained. "God, Joe- I'm so sorry, bro."
"Thanks," he responded, choked up.
"Is she- I mean, did it-" Biff started, searching for words.
"Not yet," Joe answered in a shaky voice. "Frank's with her now."
Biff nodded. "How long?" he asked quietly.
"Probably tonight," Joe replied. His words sounded hollow to his ears.
Biff looked down and started fidgeting with his watch. "There's always a chance, man. What do they say? Where there's life, there's hope, and-"
"I can't, Biff. Please. I can't think about it now," Joe answered, his heart actually aching. He felt miserable he hadn't been able to see Callie, guilty as hell. He should have gone.
He looked at Biff. Maybe he would go.
"How's the baby and your mom?" Biff asked.
"JJs fine. And my mom has whiplash and a concussion. Biff, I can't do this," Joe responded, voice cracking. "I should see her."
"Then go," Biff nodded. "I'm here. And I won't leave til you tell me you're ready."
Joe nodded and slowly turned around. He felt a coldness come over him as he walked mindlessly to the NICU. He had to see her; he would never forgive himself if he didn't. Just for a moment. And he had to bring her something.
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Ten minutes later, having left Vanessa behind, filling out paperwork, and explaining the situation, he found himself accompanied by the NICU nurse to Callie's room. There, she handed JJ to him as she stayed outside and he held JJ close, no longer wearing the brace, no longer caring how much it hurt his collarbone. The physical pain was nothing compared to his emotional angst right now. JJ was restless, tired, and cranky, as if he knew something was wrong. Joe kissed his head several times in comfort.
Joe found Frank holding Callie, eyes closed. And Callie looking absolutely perfect, except for an angry bruise on her pallid forehead. She was so pale, her breathing so shallow. But beautiful. Angelic.
"Mamamamama," JJ started to cry.
"Shhhh, it's okay," Joe repeated as he watched Frank open his eyes. He walked to his brother. "I thought maybe JJ should come down for a few minutes," he said, simply. The pain in Frank's eyes actually hurt him.
Frank looked numbly at Joe and managed a small smile. Yes. JJ should be here.
"Thank you for thinking for me, Joe," he said in quiet voice. "I… I can't… I don't…"
"I know," Joe responded, keeping everything- his words, actions, mannerisms- simple, uncomplicated. He knew Frank needed that. "Do you want to hold him?" he asked, as JJ continued to cry for his mother.
Frank nodded, sitting up. Joe noticed that he looked physically pained to release Callie, but he managed a small smile. "Of course. Yeah. Come here, Jonathan," he said, raising his hands.
Joe handed JJ to him, surprised to hear the baby called by his full first name. Maybe Callie and Frank called him that at home? Then, he got it. Jonathan. A reminder that Callie would be protected, one way or another. His eyes burned; he felt tears fall.
"Mama, dada," JJ continued to mutter, though he looked more settled, more at peace in Frank's arms.
Frank held JJ in front of him, his son; his life. Had it not been for Callie, he wouldn't have had this moment to have looked in his baby's eyes again. As he looked at him, JJ seemed to calm further.
Frank held him to his chest and kissed him, drawing strength from him.
Joe felt his heart breaking. How Frank could be so strong here was beyond him.
"Mommy's here, Jonathan," he said in a low voice. "Give mommy a kiss." He pursed his lips. "Kiss." He held JJ near Callie and JJ nuzzled her cheek, kissed her chin.
"Mamamama," JJ continued to garble.
Frank slipped one arm around Callie again and allowed JJ to snuggle into her side, wedged between them, and he quieted almost at once.
Joe walked over to the other side of the bed, unable to stop crying. He sat down on the chair next to the bed and placed his hand on top of Callie's. He was shocked when Frank reached over and covered his own hand reassuringly, forming a tiny circle of abundant love: Frank holding Callie, holding JJ, holding him.
There was some warmth that he felt all of a sudden, and he looked up, met Frank's eyes- he knew he felt it, too.
"Mama! Mama!" JJ started grabbing for her.
And, barely perceptibly, Joe could have sworn that Callie moved her other hand a fraction of an inch towards her son. It was over before it started, but Joe looked at his brother, and knew he'd felt it, too.
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Joe returned to the lobby an hour later, and Biff was there, exactly as he had promised to be.
"How'd it go?" he asked, hesitantly.
"I… I think okay," he answered in disbelief. "She… her numbers started turning around."
Biff looked at him curiously. "What does that mean?"
"I don't know," Joe conceded.
"Are you saying- will she be okay?" Biff asked, hesitant.
"I don't know," Joe repeated, stunned. "She's hurt so badly, and she's so sick. I think the doctors are shocked she's made it this far."
"Is she awake?" he asked.
"No," Joe said in a low voice. "No- not at all. She may never wake up." He looked at Biff, still having a hard time reigning in his emotions. "I'm scared to hope."
Biff put a comforting arm around him. "Don't be," he said quietly. "Hope is never bad." Seeing how distraught Joe was, he changed the subject. "So how can I help? What can I do?"
Joe got serious. He wouldn't deal with his pain now; there would plenty of time for that later. "I need you to come with me to find Grant. Dad and Collig are gone- they're going right for Cotnig; I'd bet my life on it."
"What about the Horatio guy and the others?" Biff queried.
"You know about them?" Joe asked, surprised.
Biff gave a small laugh. "Yeah, man. Of course I do. Pat's been on standby all day and he says he's gonna help, too. Chet and Tony offered to come, but I told them to hold back for now. Same with Phil. I saw Andrea- she's with Vanessa now and they're going to see the Shaws. They're going to stay with your mom, too. It's good, you know. They have each other."
"Good," he managed.
"So who are we dealing with?"
Joe took a deep breath, again grateful for his amazing friends who stood by him when he could barely stand, himself. "Alan Cotnig and Roy Grant- that's all I care about."
"But-" Biff began. "Who else? Think."
"Horatio Daniels. Catrina Katnova. Todd Rangers, hacker. And bank robber Robert Fitzhenry," he rattled off.
"Okay- will one lead to another?" Biff asked. "You don't know where anyone is, other than Daniels and Katnova- or where they were," he corrected.
"You're right," Joe admitted. "So maybe we start there."
"I'll call Pat," Biff replied, matter -of -factly. "Are you ready?"
"Are they?" Joe asked, deadly calm.
Biff squeezed Joe's shoulder and met his eyes. It was time.
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Less than two hours later, Joe, Biff, and Pat pulled up to Horatio Daniels's apartment complex.
"Did the warrant come through?" Pat asked idly as he adjusted his gun, which he carried with him at all times, even when off duty.
"Who gives a shit?" Biff asked, getting out out the car and stretching his 6'5" frame.
"Well, Collig, any number of law enforcement agencies, the judge," Pat answered dryly.
Joe exited the car and turned to his two friends. "Listen, guys- I don't want you do anything you're not comfortable with. This is my fight; this guy is the link to my family. I appreciate you coming with me, but-"
"Oh, shut it, Hardy," Pat replied, good -naturedly. "I like a good break- in and beat down as much as the next guy, especially when I'm not in uniform."
"Someone messes with you, they mess with me," Biff added. "The only person who gets to kick your ass is me."
"Possibly Vanessa," Pat added with a chuckle.
Joe found himself smiling. He knew that today would be one of the worst days of his life if Callie died, but he couldn't think of that now. All he had was his rage, his determination… and his friends. It was enough.
"I feel like something is going to happen," Joe said quietly as they made their way into the apartment building. Then, he had to stop. Something was wrong.
"What's the matter?" Biff asked, concerned.
"Nothing," Joe replied. "Come on. Let's go," he said gruffly. As they got closer to the apartment, Joe felt palpitations. I was wrong before. What if I'm wrong now? For the first time in his life, he started doubting his instincts. He heard Frank's voice in the back of his mind, telling him that he couldn't be right 100% of the time with his gut feelings. He saw Grant citing Shakespeare, remembered how he had felt so SURE that Grant was crazy. He couldn't remember the last time that his instincts had led him astray, and, now that they had, he felt more than a little lost, afraid that he was about to lead his friends into a dangerous encounter in which they could get hurt or killed.
"Stay here," Joe said at the end of the hallway. "Wait for my signal."
"Hell no," Pat replied. "I've done this before, too. I'm with you, pal." He turned to the side. "Biff, you block the stairwell," he said quietly, drawing his gun. "If they run, tackle them."
Biff nodded his assent as Joe and Pat surreptitiously made their way to the front door of the apartment.
Joe looked at Pat, ignoring the sweat on his brow. He hadn't heard anything inside, but that didn't mean that no one was there."On three," he whispered, his own gun drawn. "One. Two. Three."
They kicked in the front door and burst into the apartment. Seeing no one, they split up. "Clear!" Pat yelled from the kitchen as he made he way through each room, on alert.
"Clear!" Joe yelled back as he checked the foyer closet. He made his way to the bedroom. "Cl-" he started to yell, then, out of the corner of his eye, he caught a movement as the curtain rustled against the window."Fire escape!" Joe yelled to Pat as he went to climb out the window.
On the landing, he saw Horatio scrambling two doors down and starting to climb the stairs. "Shit," Joe muttered to himself as he followed. He tried to ignore the fact that they were several stories above street level as he grabbed a rail and leaped, following Horatio. Normally, Joe could have gotten him quickly, but every time he went to hold on and move his right arm, a searing pain cut through his neck and collarbone, and he had to keep sucking in his breath and ignoring the shooting pain as he held on as tightly as he could. He cursed as he realized that Horatio was heading to the roof, but he continued to follow, cursing, sweating, fighting pain. Finally, he made it to the tip of the roof and swung himself over.
As soon as he stood up, though, he felt the wind knocked out of him as someone pushed him from behind. He landed on his arms to break the fall and literally saw stars and felt nauseated as his collarbone bore the impact of his weight. As he struggled to get up, he felt another shove and somehow realized that he was being pushed towards the edge of the roof and he was damned close to it.
Instead of trying to regain his balance, he rolled to the side quickly and felt someone trip over him. It was Horatio. At exactly the same moment, they both realized that Joe's gun had come loose and was sitting in the middle of the rooftop. They both ran, crawled, tripped for it at the same time.
Joe reached it a second before Horatio did, and he managed to both grab it and kick Horatio away from it at the same time.
Finally catching his breath, he regained his balance. The wind was whipping through his hair; it was freezing cold. The radiating pain in his collarbone was making him sick. Still...he aimed his gun right at him.
Horatio looked up and smiled, out of breath. He SMILED.
Joe was filled with fury, his finger cocking the trigger seemingly of its own accord. Horatio wasn't smiling as broadly now.
"You think it's funny, you bastard?" Joe seethed, almost shaking with rage. "We know you lied. There was no sex scandal. There was no real video. You worked with your BROTHER to set us up."
"It worked," Horatio replied, eyes filled with hate. "At least I worked with MY brother. That's more than I can say for you and yours." A mirthless grin appeared on his face.
Joe felt his stomach drop. That much was true. But he would not show his weakness. "Where is your brother?" he demanded.
"Are you gunna kill me?" Horatio asked. "Is that why you wanna know? Cause you ain't never gonna find out."
"Then I might as well shoot you now," Joe answered, needing to hurt someone, anyone, to make them pay for what had happened to his family.
"You don't have the guts," Horatio laughed, but Joe didn't move. He aimed the gun right next to him and fired it.
Horatio jumped, and all color drained from his face.
"Well, I DO have the bullets," Joe answered calmly, "so I'm going to ask you again. Where is your brother?"
Horatio looked up at him, breathing hard. "F-ck you!"
"Don't do it, Joe!" Pat cried out as he raced up to him. "It's not worth it, man."
"See?" Horatio asked, laughing. "Even your friend thinks you're chicken shit."
Joe went to squeeze the trigger as Pat simultaneously shoved him. Joe heard Horatio screaming in pain not 10 seconds later as he got up. He looked down at his hands. He had shot someone. Shot someone to KILL him. AND he had meant it. He could barely process the scene.
Slowly, he looked up as Horatio continued to scream and convulse, but he didn't see blood. He jumped when he felt Pat's hand on his shoulder.
"Whoa!" Pat exclaimed, springing back. "Easy with that!" He reached over and took the gun from Joe's hands.
"I shot him," Joe said quietly, meeting Pat's light brown eyes.
Pat, still taking deep breaths and settling down, shook his head. "No you didn't," he managed.
"But-" Joe began, completely confused.
"I tasered his ass," Pat said simply, finally able to breathe, and gave a small smile.
"You what?" Joe asked, incredulous, his emotions all over the place. He was just coming to terms with the fact that he had killed someone, and now he was being told he hadn't even shot him?!
"I tasered him. Hurts like a bitch. Oh, look-" Pat went on. "If he keeps up like that," he noted Horatio squirming and moaning on the ground, "he might need round two."
Joe shook his head in disbelief and, getting his bearings, walked slowly to where Horatio lay, almost convulsing, but very much alive.
"I pulled the trigger," Joe said, turning to Pat. " I know I did."
"Good thing your aim sucks," Pat said with a small laugh.
Joe chuckled. "Pat, you're an idiot. You try to pull the trigger when someone is tackling you. "
"Listen, Hothead Hardy, if you would have shot him, your ass would be behind bars right now. Next time think of a damned plan before you go after a criminal. Jesus," he muttered.
"You're right," Joe admitted after a minute. "Thanks, man." Suddenly, a thought occurred to him. "Wait- a taser? Shit, Pat. You're gonna get jammed up when the powers that be realize you used a police taser against someone off duty."
"Again, PLAN," Pat replied with an easy grin. "That was Biff's taser."
"What?! Biff has a taser? Since when?" Joe asked, dumbfounded.
"Since about an hour ago. Remember when we stopped at Walmart on the way into the city so Biff could use the facilities?" Pat asked, laughing.
"You can buy a taser at freaking Walmart?!"*Joe asked. "Are you kidding?"
"Save money. Live better," Pat answered. Then he laughed. "That was good luck, huh?"
Joe closed his eyes momentarily. Luck; Walmart; Biff's impulse buy and Pat's timing- that ridiculousness all together is what had saved him from killing a man and ending up in jail. Though, he had to admit, he still felt as if he could do it. That he had wanted to do it.
He sighed. "We didn't get the info," Joe replied despondently as Pat called 9-1-1, requesting a police car and briefly explaining the situation. When he was done, they made their way back to Pat's apartment, dragging the still moaning Horatio with them.
Joe almost jumped when he got there and saw Trina standing in front of Biff, arms held behind her back as she was cursing at him.
"What the hell?" Joe asked as Pat dropped Horatio on the ground next to him and grabbed Trina, throwing cuffs on her as Biff held her arms.
Biff shrugged. "She ran out of the apartment towards the stairwell. I was there. I was able to control her."
Joe rolled his eyes. "She's like 10 inches shorter than you and weighs about 120 pounds. Good job, big guy."
"She was scrappy," Biff replied, glaring at Joe and ignoring Trina's screaming and cursing now that she had noticed Horatio writhing on the floor. "And her language isn't f-cking classy, either, to say the least."
Joe rubbed his temple with his left hand. There were so many things wrong with that last statement it wasn't even worth responding.
They heard sirens in the distance.
An hour later, Trina and Horatio were in custody in the city. Pat had gone with his brothers in blue to try and explain the whole mess, for which Joe was immeasurably grateful. Joe winced as he sat in the passenger seat, his collarbone throbbing. He had texted Vanessa to keep her up to date on their progress… but more to check on Callie. She was still with them. It was overwhelming.
"You okay, Jose?" Biff asked as he slid behind the driver's wheel. "I mean, you did, once again, almost get your ass kicked, get shot, and get thrown off a roof."
"Thank god I didn't have to deal with a scrappy woman," Joe replied sarcastically.
Biff smiled and reached into the glove compartment, pulling out Extra Strength Tylenol and putting it into Joe's left hand. "Walmart sells more than tasers, you know," he said lightly, but with compassion.
Joe gave a small smile and popped the top, swallowing three pills without water.
"That's gross, man," Biff said with a disgusted look on his face.
"Shut up or I'm going to using some f-cking unclassy language on you," Joe replied, a slight glimmer in his eyes despite it all. He leaned against the seat and closed his eyes. "Two down," he said out loud. "Four more to go. Heading back to Bayport?" he asked, exhausted.
"Not if we're gonna get at least one of the two big ones," he answered as he pulled into traffic.
"What do you mean?" Joe asked, surprised.
"That chick cursed a lot, but I used the old Hooper powers of persuasion on her."
"Meaning what?" Joe asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Meaning that when she thought good old Horatio was going to bite the big one, she begged me to make you stop, and I told her I would- if she told me where Grant was."
"What?!" Joe asked, incredulous. "You didn't even know where I was!"
"Yeah, well, she didn't need to know that," Biff answered evenly. "And your boy here did you a solid and got the info you need, so we're on our way. Oh- and I called your dad. He and Collig are going to meet us with some of the NYPD cops. We have to get Shakespeare boy and we will kicketh his asseth."
Joe felt his mouth drop open. He saw Biff wink at him as he started to drive, immediately giving the finger to a crazy driver. Joe looked at him; thought of Pat. He had the best friends in the world who always stepped up to the plate when things counted. He wanted to tell Biff thank you, to remind him again that he was his best friend next to his brother and that he loved him and admired him. So he responded the best he could.
"Thou art a jackass," he said with a smile, and Biff just laughed.
*In case you're wondering, yes- you can buy a taser at Walmart! (You know that you're going to look that up! Haha. I swear it's true)*