A/N: I've been forgetting to put the day at the beginning of the last few chapters :/ Whoops! Sorry, guys! I've corrected them. Btw, I think you'll love (then probably hate me again) me for this chapter, so here's the next chapter! I hope you enjoy!
Recap:
"Do you miss him?" She asks. He hangs his head, leaning it back against the door, staring out it for awhile before answering, "Of course I do. He's my Husband." He mumbles. [...] "What little I have to say to him, you, Gage, nor he will like. So I think it's best you leave it the hell alone." Punk explains [...] "Dammit, John. Why'd you have to mess everything up?" He hears Punk sigh, "Everything was great. And now…" He sighs again, "This is hell." Punk whispers [...] I need to break Gage of this habit!" Punk explains. "Habit? A fucking habit?! John is his Father!" Shaleigh screams, and Gage cries out even louder at the constant mention of John's name. "I'm his fucking Father!" Punk screams back. "And so is John, goddammit! John is Gage's Father, and he's your Husband! Now I don't know what the fuck happened, but dammit, Punk, you need to sit down and take a good hard look at it, because this shit's ridiculous! You need to look at it and figure it the fuck out. And if he's the one that made the decision to leave, you need to look at why the fuck he decided to go. And goddammit, Punk, if you're the reason he left, or you made him leave, then you really need to sit down and take a fucking look at your goddammed self and all the shit you've done and the bullshit you've put him through! You're protecting Gage? Protecting him from what? 'Cos John's not a fucking threat! Your stupid ass drama and pettiness is the goddamned problem!" Shaleigh preaches
Sunday; Brooks' Basement:
Punk sits the picture book back in the box, then grabs the next box, sliding it over to where he sits crossed-legged in the middle of the basement. He pulls out the first item of clothing in the box, one of John's white t-shirts. He clutches it to his chest then grabs for yet another box, pulling it over to him as well, grabbing out another picture book. He opens it up towards the middle and sees a picture of he and John at one of the many engagement parties they had. He stares down at the pictures, flipping the pages of the book, smiling at the memories.
"Wow. Never thought I'd see you like this." He hears Shaleigh say, and he throws his head back and groans, "Dammit, can I have one moment to deal with my problems alone?" Punk asks. "I'm not here to fight. Gage is sleep, so I thought I'd come down here and sympathize with you. I've realized that I'm not helping you, I'm only messing with the situation because I don't understand. So, I'm here to lend an ear, or just be a shoulder to cry on, or anything else." She explains. "Thanks...I guess. Come sit, Sis." He pats the ground next to him, but she just chuckles and goes and sits on a crate.
"So..." She says. "I don't really know what I'm supposed to be saying to you. I'm just down here thinking about things." Punk shrugs. "About what happened between you two?" She asks. "Yep." He nods. "So what did happen?" She asks, truly curious. "I don't want to talk about it. Hate me if you want, but I'm never telling you, or anyone else. I'm sorry." Punk mumbles. "Was whatever happened between you guys really that bad?" She asks. "Whether it was bad or not, it's between John and I. I just really don't want to talk about it." Punk explains. "Okay, no more asking what happened. How are you? How are you holding up?" She asks, laying a hand on his shoulder. "How do you think I am? I'm breaking down inside. I am barely keeping myself together. I just want to make it to the next day without falling apart, honestly." Punk closes his eyes and admits. "Is there anything I can do to make it better?" She asks. "No. Helping me take care of Gage is about it. Thanks for that by the way." He mumbles. "He's my nephew. It's my obligation." She chuckles.
"I miss his stupid face, Sha." Punk sighs, staring at a particular picture of he and John, John hugged tight to Punk's body as he makes some silly face. "It's normal for you to miss him. Don't you think he misses you too?" She asks. "Sometimes I do, but...sometimes I don't." Punk answers. "Why do you think he wouldn't miss you?" She asks. "Can't really answer that without explaining what happened." He replies. There are times when he's so sure that John misses him, that he can basically feel it. Feel John's soul crying out for him. But there's other times that he feels like John doesn't miss him. Because that would entail that he loves him, and if loved him, he wouldn't have gone and laid down with Randy. In fact, he could be with Randy right now. He slept with him once, who's to say he didn't just go run off and be with him? "He misses you, Punk. I know it. Now the only question is, what are you going to do about it?"
John finally gets out of the shower, having just had a good, long 'nother breakdown, and grabs a towel, wrapping it around his body. He heads into the bedroom and opens the top drawers, grabbing the first shirt he touches and pulling it on, then sliding his sweatpants on his body. Once he's dressed, he trudges back over to the bed and plops down on it, kicking the covers up till he can grab them, pulling them over his body till he can't see the sun shining in the room anymore. The minute he gets comfy, he hears his phone. "Dammit!" He yells. He debates on laying there and ignoring it, figuring it to be Shaleigh yet again, but something inside him nudges him up and out of the bed. He drags himself into the kitchen area and grabs his phone off the table, his heart stopping when he looks to see who the incoming text is from.
Husband: Hey.
John Boy: hello.
Husband: How are you?
John Boy: idk. you?
Husband: Idk either...
John Boy: im sorry.
Husband: Where are you?
John Boy: a hotel.
Husband: Which?
John Boy: homewood suites, up the street.
Husband: Can I come see you?
John Boy: plz.
Husband: I'll be there in 30.
John Boy: alright. thank you.
After he hits send, he has to stare at the phone for awhile. Did that just really happen? Is Punk really coming to see him? He stares at the few text messages a bit longer before pocketing the cellphone and heading into the bedroom, needing to change. He shoves his shirt back in the drawer and digs around till he finds a blue t-shirt. It's one of Punk's favorite t-shirts for John to wear; he says it makes his eyes pop because they're both the same color. He then trades his sweatpants for the last pair of clean jeans he has, making a mental note of needing to figure out where to do laundry...and soon. Once dressed and fresh, he just walks around the suite, going room-to-room, making sure it's cleaned up.
Thirty minutes later and there's a knock on John's door. He adjusts the jeans and smoothes his shirt before opening it. "Hi." Punk says, a small smile on his face as soon as he sees John. "Hi." John replies with a smile of his own, though he's in absolute shock and disbelief that Punk actually came. "Can I come in?" Punk asks. "Yeah! Yeah. Of course." John steps aside and Punk walks in, choosing to stand by the kitchen table. John closes the door and goes to stand in front of him. "How are you?" Punk asks, but John looks to the floor and shrugs, "You?" He asks, looking back up to Punk. "I'm…uh," He gives a shrug as well, "I'm making it I guess." Punk sighs and John just nods, not knowing what to say.
Punk doesn't know what to say either. He doesn't really know why he came over here. He's still hurt, and he's still very much heartbroken. He just misses John so much though. He misses his face, and his voice, and his touch.
"How's Gage doing?" John asks. "He's good. He misses you. A lot." Punk sighs, thinking about all the various incidents the past few days involving Gage wanting his Da-Da. "I miss him too." John sighs. "Can we sit? Preferably near a plug. I'd actually like to show you something, but my phone is dying." Punk asks, motioning outwards. "No problem." John says, and turns to the couch, but he takes a leap of faith and heads to the bedroom, Punk following.
Punk notices they walk right past the kitchen, and the living area, and a desk area, all on their way to the bedroom, but he doesn't say anything. He can't blame John. If he were in his position, he'd probably try the same thing too.
Once in the bedroom, John goes over to where his charger is plugged into the wall and grabs the end of the cord, "Here." John says, holding out his hand, and Punk hands him the phone. When John plugs it in, it lights up to show that it's charging, and John sees that Punk's changed the wallpaper on his phone from a picture of them, to some comic book character. John gives an inward sigh and hands the phone to Punk, Punk taking it and sitting on the bed on that side. John walks around the bed and sits as well, them both sitting against the headboard, but not touching. They're both too scared to. Punk begins clicking some buttons till a video comes up. "Gage, learned how to say something new." Punk says to John. "Really? What?" John asks, hating that he missed it. "Sha recorded it and sent it to me. Here." Punk hands John the phone, and John hits 'play'.
"Gage. Gage! Look at Papa, Gage." Punk says, and Gage looks up from where he's playing. "Say 'I love you'." Punk says, but Gage just stares at him. "I love you. Say 'I love you'." Punk repeats. "Ahh!" Gage shakes his hand, but makes no attempt to repeat the phrase. "Come on, Gage. Say 'I. Love. You'." Punk enunciates. "Ah ooh." Gage replies. "No. 'I love you'." Punk tries again. "No!" Gage yells, and Punk sighs. "Fine. Look at the camera." Punk points at the phone behind him and Gage squeals and reaches out for it.
John has to stop himself from laying his hand against the screen as he watches.
"Papa's going to show this to Da-Da. Say hi, Gage." Shaleigh says. "Shaleigh, I warned you." Punk growls, and Gage waves at the camera, "Hiii, Da-Da!" Gage yells. "Say it again, Gage. Tell Da-Da hi." Shaleigh repeats. "Hi, Da-Da! Ah lah you!" Gage says. "You said it! Good job, Gage!" Punk yells, excited. "Goob job! Say it again, Gage. Tell Da-Da that you love him." Shaleigh praises, then commands. "Ah lah you, Da-Da!" Gage says, then topples over in a giggle fit. Punk sits him back up and gives him a high-five. "Punk, my phone is dying. Hurry up." Shaleigh announces. "Tell Da-Da bye." Punk says to Gage, a broken smile on his face, a secret meaning behind his words. "Bye, Da-Da!" Gage yells. "So cute." Shaleigh says before ending the video.
"You were the first one he said it to." Punk says once the video goes off. "Oh my God. Thank you for showing this to me." John says, handing the phone back, a few tears falling down his face. "You're welcome. Don't cry, John. Please," Punk says, noticing the tears, but John doesn't stop, "Please don't cry." Punk wipes away a few tears, then pulls John into his arms to comfort him, hating seeing him like this even after all that's happened. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just miss him so much. For him to say that…I feel even worse. Makes me feel even more like shit. God, I miss him." John explains. "He misses you too, John. Don't worry." Punk rubs his back. "I miss you too." John takes a risk and looks up at Punk and says, and Punk gives a heavy sigh. "I know you do. I miss you too." Punk whispers. "Do you really?" John asks. "I do. Very, very much." Punk replies. "Do you still hate me?" John asks, looking away. "I don't hate you, John. I never did hate you." Punk replies. "Yes, you did." John refutes. "I didn't. I was hurt. I still am. I didn't hate you, though." Punk explains, and John sighs, "I'm sorry." He whispers. "I know." Punk replies.
"I know I've asked you before, but you didn't answer the first time. Are we getting a divorce?" John asks. "I don't want to talk about that, John. I'm still trying to think things through, okay?" Punk replies, not sure that his final decision is too set in stone anymore now that he has John in his arms again. John nods.
"So," He clears his throat, trying to pull himself back together, "Who knows we're separated?" John asks. "Sha knows, but I haven't outright told her why or what happened. I'm not going to either. She told Selene what little she does know, and Selene told Tanner. That's it." Punk answers. "Colt doesn't know?" John asks. Usually when Punk's ready to talk about something or gossip, Scott's the first person he goes to. "No. I didn't want him pestering me. For now, he thinks you went outta town. So far, Sha's kept her mouth shut." Punk shrugs. "I'm so sorry, Punk. I really hope you know how sorry, and bad, and stupid I feel." John says, looking up at him. "Shh. I know," Punk says, and John sighs, not knowing what else he can possibly say.
"Can I ask you something?" Punk asks, deciding he definitely wants to know if he's been worrying for nothing or not. "Anything. What?" He asks. "Have you seen or been with Randy since you left?" Punk asks, a small voice. "No! No, Punk, no. No. I haven't, I promise. I'd never to do that to you. I learned my lesson. He called after I left trying to find out where I was so he could see me again before his plane took off, but I refused to tell him. I couldn't let him take what very, very little dignity I have left. He got on his plane and left. I've been here alone ever since I got here." John explains, and Punk gives an internal sigh of relief. "Oh. Okay." Punk mumbles. "Did you think I was with him this entire time?" John asks, trying to look directly in Punk's eyes. "No. Yes. Kinda. Maybe. Y...your phone was off the one time I decided to call, and...I don't know. My mind wandered from there." Punk explains. "Your Sister has been calling and texting me non-stop. I turn it off sometimes to get away from her. I'm sorry I missed your call." John says, hating that this all could have happened even earlier if it weren't for Shaleigh's constant calls. "No, it's okay. I think it's best it happened this way. Gave me more time to think." Punk explains. "Oh. Then I guess so." John says, and the men fall into a bit of silence.
"Why do you have so many damn blankets?" Punk asks after awhile. "I'm not used to sleeping without you. It's weird and I get really, really cold at night. That and I like to bury myself under them." John mumbles, embarrassed. "I know what you mean. It's weird sleeping without you too. I don't like it. Gage sleeps in our room now, just so I have someone to hold at night." Punk explains. "Lucky Gage." John mumbles, giving a small sigh, and Punk doesn't reply.
He instead just begins messing with the pillow he's sitting against, trying to fluff it because it's uncomfortable, but as he does, it accidentally falls and he sees what's under it and making it so uncomfortable. "My shirt!" He yells, grabbing it and holding it up to look at it. John's eyes go wide at Punk finding the shirt and he pulls away from him and begins to stutter, "I-I-I didn't- I was gonna- I'm- I, uh, accidentally packed it, and, I-I-I was gonna return it, but I-I didn't think you wan-wanted me there, so I–" Punk cuts in, wanting John to calm down, "It's okay, John," He gives a little smile and sits it in John's lap, John immediately clutching tight to it, "I'm just glad I didn't lose it or anything." He says, then grabs the pillow off the floor and sits it back on the bed, John sliding the shirt back under it. Once the shirt is back in place, Punk pulls John back into his arms.
"Can I tell you something that happened during it?" John asks, making a conscious decision that this tidbit of info will hopefully help to continue to boost the situation in a positive direction. "I guess. What?" Punk asks, not really wanting to hear about what happened during John's infidelity. "He choked me, and had to refrain from hitting me." John admits, and Punk releases John and jumps completely out of bed in anger. "No! No. Stop. It was my fault." John says, leaning up and begging Punk to calm down. "How the fuck was him almost hurting you again, your fault?!" Punk asks, ready to go officially kill Randy. "I pissed him off pretty bad," John sighs, "I, uh, I accidently called him your name once." He mumbles and all goes silent. Punk just stares at John as all his anger slowly evaporates. He called out his name while he was with Randy? Wow.
Punk slowly slides back into bed and cuddles against John. He lays his head on John's chest and tries to think about everything. "Why do you hate me?" He asks, and John eyes go wide, "I don't hate you, Punk! What are you talking about?!" John honestly can't fathom why Punk would ever ask that question. "Why'd you hurt me then? You promised to never do that." John's never seen or heard Punk seem so small. "I know I promised not to, and I promise I never will again. I should have never let him talk me into going over there," John sighs, "If I would have said no, there would have never been a problem. I can't think straight when I'm around him. My brain doesn't function. He takes complete control of me. I was so, so, so stupid to go over there." John sighs. "Why did you?" Punk asks, looking up at John. "I don't know. I hadn't seen him in so long, and I'm married now, so I thought I was safe. I stupidly thought he'd respect that instead of using it against me. And I just had so many questions, and I needed answers. He wasn't up for talking, though." John explains, sighing and shaking his head, feeling stupid all over again.
"John, I don't want you around him ever again. I'm serious this time. I don't want you to ever come into any fucking contact with him ever again." Punk pleads, and John smiles a bit, wondering if that means there is hope for their relationship since Punk is back trying to control his life, but John doesn't have enough energy to think too hard on it. He doesn't want to think too hard on it, in case it's not true. "I wouldn't want to. I'm sick of him ruining my life and ruining my happiness. I never got anything out of being with him, and I never will. I can't keep letting him ruin things for me." John instead explains.
There's silence for a brief moment till Punk starts chuckling, "You know what's funny?" He asks. "What?" John asks back. "He kind of strengthened our relationship back then." Punk mentions. "How?!" John asks, looking down at Punk as if he were crazy. "When that night happened, and you got sick after, and I had to take care of you. During that time is when I realized how bad I never wanted to lose you, and how nothing else mattered anymore except you. By time you were well again, I just wanted to be your husband. I worked so hard to get myself to the point where I was ready to commit. It's crazy to me to think that Randy is the one that pushed me to finally be able to marry." Punk explains. "Wow." John doesn't know what to say. "Yep. Ironic how he's the one that ruined my marriage as well." Punk gives another little chuckle. "Punk, I'm so, so sorry." John pleads. "I know you are. I know." Punk smiles softly up at John, and they fall into silence yet again.
"I wish you guys didn't have such a past. I wish you guys weren't so close. I wish he didn't have such a fucking hold over you." Punk pulls away and pulls John into his arms instead. "So do I." John replies. "Why couldn't he have just stayed wherever he was?! Why'd he have to come back and ruin my happiness?!" Punk begins to get frustrated again. "I feel the same way." John sighs, silently wondering if Punk even really cares how this entire situation has made him feel, or if he's just the bad guy in Punk's eyes for going and sleeping with Randy. "I still love you, John. I hope you know that." Punk says, tipping John's face to look up at him. "I wasn't sure, actually. I'm glad you said that." John sighs. "I do. Don't ever doubt that. I love you, John, okay?" Punk promises. "I love you too, Philip. I love you so, so much." John whispers.
Punk leans down a bit, and John leans up, wondering if Punk's really going to do it. Punk just stares into John's eyes, staring at how dull and burnt out his usually bright, blue eyes are now. Not even John's shirt is making his eyes shine. Neither is the few tears brimming in his eyes. Punk gives a small sigh and closes his eyes, leaning in a bit closer as he does, not wanting to see the hurt in John's eyes. John leans up a bit more and stares at Punk's face, wondering what he's thinking. Punk knows he shouldn't kiss John. He knows it's not going to help anything. Especially after he admitted to him outloud that he still loves him. He knows this shouldn't happen, but... Punk leans down and kisses John, and John, shocked, quickly leans up and wraps his arms around Punk's neck and kisses back. It's just a few open-mouthed kisses, with no tongue introduced, and the kissing only lasts for a short while before Punk quickly pulls away.
"I-I-I-I need to go. Sha said she could only babysit for an hour." Punk sighs, quickly climbing out of bed. "Oh…" John whimpers, looking down at the sheets. "I'm sorry." Punk mumbles. "No, I understand. Thank you for coming to see me." John says, getting out of bed, then walking Punk to the door. "Thanks for letting me come over." Punk gives a small smile. "Tell Gage that I miss him, please. Sha too." John says. "I will." Punk nods. "Am I...am I going to get to see you again?" John asks, scared of the answer. "Uh…yeah. Yeah. I don't know when. You will though. I really gotta go." Punk says, then opens the door. "Bye." John mumbles, and Punk turns, gives John one last, small, little kiss, then leaves.
Once Punk's gone, John heads into the bathroom to stare in the mirror. He first just stares at himself for a long time, silently thinking about everything that just happened. Punk coming over, and the video of Gage, Punk still being protective of him, and holding him, and...and kissing him. A slight blush creeps into John's cheeks as he lays a few fingers on his lips. It may not have been the full-fledged kiss of a lifetime that John was hoping for, but Punk still kissed him, and that's good enough for John.
"Papa's home." Shaleigh says to Gage as she hears keys in the door. Punk walks in, pulls the keys from the lock, and shuts the door. "Papa!" Gage squeals, reaching out for him. "Hey, Gage," Punk smiles, going over to pick up his son, "Were you a good boy for Auntie Sha?" Punk asks. "Ya!" Gage yells. "Yes, he was a little Angel." She smiles. "Good." Punk smiles, kisses Gage, then lays Gage's head on his shoulder. "Da-Da?" Gage calls out, yanking at Punk's shirt. Gage is a very smart little boy. He knows his Da-Da's scent anywhere, and he knows that scent is all over his Papa's shirt. "Yeah, Gage, I saw Da-Da." Punk gives a content little smile. "Wow. You really went to go see him? I was hoping that's where you were going, but..." Shaleigh says, excited.
When they'd finally left the basement, Punk got on his phone texting someone for a bit, then announced he needed Sha to watch Gage while he went somewhere important. He refused to say where he was going, but after the earlier events and the little smile on his face, Shaleigh was hoping he was finally going to see John.
"Yeah, I saw him." Punk nods. "How'd it go? How is he?" She asks, anxious to hear every detail. "He's okay. He looked better than I'd expected him to look. I mean, not by a lot, but he wasn't all Tom Hanks in Castaway or anything. He misses you, but wishes you'd stop calling every 5 seconds," He explains, then turns to Gage, "And Da-Da says he misses you too, Gage. A whole lot, okay?" Punk tries to explain to him. "Da-Da." Gage says, his little lip stuck out and quivering. "I know, Gage. It'll be okay. Da-Da misses you too, alright? He loves you very much." Punk whispers, then kisses Gage's head and holds him tight.
Shaleigh just smiles wide. These past few days, what with Punk having been on this 'John's a habit and no longer part of this family and don't mention him around my son' kick, it's nice to hear him talking to Gage about John and about things so personal as such.
"So what happened over there?" She asks. "I mean, nothing really. We just talked a little. A lot of awkward silence, but we talked enough. I showed him the video of Gage and he cried. He really appreciated seeing it. And uh, we talked about how we miss each other and love each other still. We talked a bit about what happened. I don't know. We just...nothing really happened, though." Punk explains. "Did you guys kiss or anything?" She asks. "I held him for a little while. And we kissed, yeah. But it was a mistake." Punk answers. "A mistake?! Why?!" She asks. "Because I didn't go over there to do that! I didn't mean to, it just happened." Punk answers. "It just happened because you love him!" She yells. "I'm well aware of why it happened, Shaleigh! That doesn't mean I wanted it to happen! He's probably got the wrong idea now." Punk sighs. "Wrong idea? Dammit, Punk, you are not going to divorce him or anything, and you are not gonna take him out of Gage's life!" Shaleigh commands. "Sha, you are not gonna tell me what I am and ain't gonna do." Punk growls, and she gives a heavy, irritated sigh.
"Are you going to go see him again?" She asks. "I told him I would, yes." Punk nods. "And are you? When?" She asks. "I don't know when. I need time to think. I just...I need time to think." Punk explains. "Can you at least try on making it work with him? Can you–" She's cut off when her phone starts ringing, "Hold on, Scott." She says into the phone as soon as she answers. "We'll see what happens. Best I can do. Now go have fun at the movies with Colt. Thanks for watching Gage." Punk replies. "You're welcome. Thanks," She says to him, then gets back on the phone, "Hey...You downstairs?...Alright, coming down now," She says, then hangs up the phone, "Bye, Phil. Bye, Gagey-baby." She grabs her purse, kisses Gage's head, then skips off for the door. Once she gone, Punk just heads back with Gage to the bedroom, deciding they both need a nap.
A/N: Well IKindaDigCrazyGuys guessed correctly! Punk caves, tough guy persona fails, stops denying his love, and lasts one more day only. Guessed it perfectly! You sure you're not sneaking in my documents folder and cheating for the answers? Lol. & Nate, I added your Tom Hanks comment, because it was hilarious. I posted a new Punkena oneshot the other day: Never Have I Ever. Check it out if you'd like. Also, I've posted a poll on my profile (I just posted it, so if it's not up now, check back soon and it will be then) about a new story. Vote please? Love you. Oh, and I'm not sure if I thanked you guys when I hit 300 reviews, but THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE 350+ REVIEWS! YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING! I LOVE YOU ALL! And I've gotten a lot of new readers lately, but most are various guest reviewers that I can't message, so I just wanted to say welcomeeeee, and I'm glad you're enjoying! Please leave reviews with your thoughts/guesses/etc! Next update should come NEXT Thursday after TNA! Hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading :)