"Aww, another one of the fish died!"
"Perhaps Light-kun can fry it up for us."
Light huffed and looked at L, exasperated. "Don't you even care?" he demanded.
"No, not particularly. Would Light-kun like some cake?"
L and Light were in their room, L on his laptop and eating and Light staring forlornly at the dead fish.
"No thanks."
"Hmm."
Light blinked down at the fish one more time before he went and plopped down on the couch next to L with a sigh. "Well, I guess we can just leave it there and Watari will take care of it like the others," he mumbled, picking the remote up and flipping on the TV. "Do you want to watch anything?"
"Anything is better than Pumpkin Surprise," L responded with equal enthusiasm.
Light turned the volume on mute and looked over at the detective perched next to him. "Ryuuzaki, your panda puff is all messed up," he nagged. He reached over and tried to smooth L's hair down when some fish food came rolling out and landed on Light's thigh.
Light blanched. "Eew! Ryuuzaki!"
"Mmm?"
"I put that in your hair three days ago...I…"
"Mmmhmm." L kept chewing on his cake.
"You haven't washed your hair since then, have you?!" Light asked, hysterical. He grabbed some hand sanitizer off of the coffee table and doused his hands in it. "What the hell have you been doing in the shower?!"
"Does Light-kun wish for me to wash my hair?" L asked, turning those large, black eyes toward him.
"Yes! Do you know how disgusting that is?! I'm sleeping in the same bed as a filthy fish man! Take the cuff off and get in the shower now!"
L frowned down at his cake. "May I finish my cake fir-"
"No! Move!"
"Fine. Light-kun is the hygiene expert…"
-----------------
L emerged from the steamed up bathroom with only a towel around his waist and he heard dance music and shuffling in the other room. Narrowing his eyes, he walked into the living room and saw Light…doing a jumping thing.
…In those ridiculous little blue shorts and a thin tank top.
"What is Light-kun doing?"
Light stopped his moving around and whirled toward L, choking when he saw that the detective was only in a towel.
Coughing filled the room.
"Does Light-kun need the Heimlich Maneuver performed on him?!"
Light kept coughing and waved his arms around frantically in front of him. His face was turning bright red.
"Hold still!"
L rushed behind Light, positioned his hands and was about to push…
"No…(cough)...no, Ryuuzaki. I'm (cough) fine."
L released Light and turned the younger man around to look at him. "Light-kun is okay?" he asked carefully.
"Yes. You just…surprised me when you came in (cough)."
"Light-kun was jumping around," L said. "Was that what he considers dancing?"
"No." Light sighed. "Have you ever exercised in your life?"
"I played tennis."
"I know that, but have you ever done an at-home workout? I doubt you'd go to the gym…"
L adjusted his towel and looked at the TV. The workout video was of a young woman doing a series of jumping jacks and kickboxing techniques to some loud dance music.
"And one andtwo and three and-" she was going.
"Anyway, I'm doing this because…well, you know how my stomach was upset the other day?"
L cleared his throat and looked down at his feet. "Yes. Light-kun has a very sensitive stomach," he mumbled.
"It must have been that popcorn! Anyway, the day after that I gorged myself and packed on a few pounds, so I have to get rid of them."
The detective blinked back up at Light. "Did Light-kun's hips grow even larger?"
"No! My stomach got a little pudgy, look," came the reply as Light lifted his shirt up to show L a perfectly flat, toned stomach.
"Light-kun did not get larger," L said, poking his suspect's midsection.
"Don't! That tickles," Light snapped.
L poked it again and Light pulled his shirt down.
"Stop it, Ryuuzaki."
Poke.
"Stop that!"
Poke.
"I'll break your hand off if you do that one more time!"
"Fine," L grunted, walking over to fetch the chain. "Though I am quite sure that Light-kun could never best me in a fight."
Light watched as L searched around for the handcuffs, and blushed when the towel kept falling down the black-haired man's narrow hips. "Ryuuzaki, go put some clothes on!" he said finally.
"Light-kun shouldn't be looking at where my towel is falling down," L said, grabbing the chain from between the couch cushions and shuffling over to Light with it.
"How do I exercise if you're chained to me?"
"I will exercise with Light-kun."
"Well, put some clothes on!"
"Okay!"
"Okay!"
L yanked Light into the bedroom and slid into some sweatpants, opting not to wear a shirt.
"Well, let's go exercise!" Light said insistently. "You're so sluggish!"
They went back and saw that the girl on the TV was now doing sit-ups.
"Are we going to do that, Light-kun?" L asked.
"Yes. Get down."
They both got on their backs and began doing sit-ups, Light panting and huffing and L keeping up with the girl effortlessly.
"How-" Light said as they went up.
Pant. "the hell-"
Grunt. "are you having-"
Pant. "such an easy time?"
"Light-kun is simply not as well-built as me."
Light frowned, stopped his sit-ups, and stared down at L's body unabashedly. L was, under all of those baggy clothes and that horrible posture, very well defined. Light leaned over a bit more right as L came up and their heads banged together.
"Ouch! Dammit, Light-kun!"
"It's your fault!" Light retorted, bringing a hand up to his head. "Oww."
"What was Light-kun staring at?!" L demanded.
"I was just comparing us! Let's do push-ups now!"
"If Light-kun thinks he can keep up with me…" L muttered quietly.
"What-?"
Without another word, L flipped over and began to do push-ups. Light just watched, wondering how that skinny detective could do them so rapidly…
That's it! He's skinny, so he doesn't have much to lift up! I'll fix that.
Light got up, turned around, and sat on L's back.
L collapsed with an "oof!".
"Ha! See, you're not that strong!"
"What is Light-kundoing?!"
"I wanted to see if you could handle some extra weight!"
"I obviously can't handle Light-kun's weight!"
"Are you saying I'm heavy?!" Light frowned and concentrated his weight on L's back a little harder. "This is heavy!"
"Light-kun is crushing me! I'll pummel him once he lets me up!"
Light put a hand on L's head to smash the detective's face into the floor. "Sorry, can't hear you!"
"Mmph!"
Suddenly, L's hand shot up from nowhere and snatched Light's arm. Before Light knew it, the brown-haired boy was flipped to the side and under a flustered L.
Wow, Ryuuzaki's totally lost his composure. His hair's really messed up…
"Light-kun's repeated attempts to gain control over me are futile and suspicious!"
…Look at him, trying to be threatening. It'd work better if he wasn't so disheveled…
"I do not want to have to use excessive physical force against Light-kun to show him who has the upper hand!"
"You're pretty horrible at bluffing, Ryuuzaki."
L blinked. "What?" he asked.
Light cocked his head to the side. "Saying you'd beat me up when we both know you never would."
L began to scowl, but covered his expression up quickly. "Light-kun thinks that I would not hurt him?" he asked, voice more controlled than before.
"I know that," Light said smugly.
"Light-kun is under the wrong impression."
"No I'm not."
After a minute of silence, L stared at Light and, with a sigh, began to lean down. Light froze up and tried to calm his breathing, and suddenly he felt L's hands on his stomach…
…tickling him.
"Ah! Dammit, Ryuuzaki! Stop it, I'll kill you!"
"Up by two percent."
Light tried to protest, but began laughing and couldn't form words.
"Light-kun thought that I would not inflict torture upon him. I have proved him wrong."
"S-Stop!"
When Watari came in to collect the dead fish and he saw L on top of Light, straddling the teen's hips, he made a quick about-face and decided to come back later.
Watari knew not to interfere with L's quirks.
----------------
A/N: ...Poor boys.
Please review! Or L will come and tickle you! (Is that really a threat?)
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