A/N: Evening dear ones! Sorry for the delay, nothing more this time than the fact that the author (that would be me) is complete fail and had to revamp a few things that just weren't working...

As always my thanks to my super-beta, Master Yoda herself, Jessica1971. She's the bestest, seriously!

Disclaimer: I don't own it, the great SM does.

Chapter 26

Terms of endearment...

BPOV

"Olivia," I called as I made my way toward the kitchen. "We gotta move, girl. You're going to be late for class!"

Though we had been back from Seattle for a week, it felt as if the trip was a year ago.

Edward's schedule had been completely ridiculous, pulling double shifts and extra hours in the ER for the last several days; today would be no different. Olivia was going to stay the night with Mike's parents so Rosalie and I made plans for a girl's night in to catch up.

As much as Edward's schedule sucked, I had to admit my schedule hadn't been a whole lot better. Olivia started a two week dance day-camp the morning after our return from Seattle. Although she loved it, I could see the intensity was taxing her and leaving me feeling torn as to how to handle the situation.

Add to that stress the fact that Mr. Volturi had taken a downward turn a couple of days earlier. I made another emergency visit just the day before after Alec called in a panic. I would be seeing him again later in the day for a check, not that there was a lot I could do until the end, but I could be available to Alec and Jane. They were having a hard time letting him go, even with the inevitability they had lived with knowing the end was close.

To say that Edward and I had not discussed his little impromptu proposal would be grossly understating the sequence of events since our return to Atlanta. We had hardly spoken to one another outside of several quick phone calls and text messages throughout the last few days. There was simply no time for the much needed conversation and I knew in my heart that was not a good thing. As much as I tried, I couldn't stop myself from second guessing Edward and the whole situation. I hated that I couldn't find the trust I should have felt in his intentions.

I released a heavy sigh, packing a couple of water bottles in Olivia's dance bag as I looked at my watch for the hundredth time, trying my best not to become completely frustrated with my child.

"Olivia," I called again, working to not let the annoyance seep into my voice as I zipped her bag up. "We have got to go. What the heck are you doing?"

I started back down the hall and was met half way to Olivia's room by a very disgruntled looking ballerina, tugging at her leotard.

"What's wrong?" I asked, biting the inside of my cheek and trying not to laugh at the expression on her face.

"Nothin'," she grumbled and stomped passed me toward the kitchen.

The fact that Olivia had been grumpy for the last couple of days was really starting to make me worry she wasn't feeling all that well.

I cringed internally at the thought I would have to pull her from camp. I knew if I did I would come across as the bad guy, again, and that by doing so would just remind her she wasn't like other kids. She would be incredibly upset with me, but I couldn't risk her getting sick.

Though Olivia didn't look like a typical child with Cystic Fibrosis, she wasn't like other kids either and I detested having to point that out. It didn't help that she was reaching the age when girls are just… difficult. At not quite ten, I could already see the signs of pre-teen angst; I was not looking forward to how the next few years were going to play out.

I shook my head and followed Olivia back into the kitchen as she picked up her bag, throwing it over her shoulder and stomping out the door. Taking a deep calming breath and releasing it slowly, I grabbed my own bag and keys before making my way out to the garage.

~O~

"So grandma is going to be picking you up and they wanted you to stay overnight, if you're still up to it," I said, turning to meet Olivia's eyes as we pulled into the drop off line at the dance studio. I couldn't put my finger on exactly what was going on with her, but the silent car ride over had done nothing to alleviate my concerns.

She really looked annoyed, and though I was concerned about her health, there just seemed to be something more to it than that.

"Olivia?" I put a hand on her arm as she turned to stare out the side window. "What is up with you? You've been really grumpy for the last couple of days and I can't figure out if you're not feeling well or what."

I reached up, brushing a wisp of hair that had fallen from her chignon behind her ear as she turned slightly in my direction.

"You have to talk to me, honey. I can't help fix whatever it is if you don't tell me what's going on."

She dropped her head and pulled at the hem of her ballet skirt, taking a deep breath. As she blew it out slowly, she looked up to meet my gaze and I was surprised to see her eyes fill with tears.

"Oh, baby, what's the matter," I asked, pulling her into me and wrapping my arm around her tightly as I kissed the top of her head, not caring that we were holding up the line.

She sniffled a few times and released a shuddering breath before pulling back and wiping at her cheeks angrily but wouldn't meet my eyes.

"I don't…..it's nothing, just….."

"What, baby?" I brushed a hand over her hair once again, hoping she would look at me and becoming frustrated as the car behind beeped their horn.

I pulled forward slowly.

"Is Edward mad at me or like, did you guys have a fight or something?" Olivia trailed off, finally looking up at me and my heart broke at the look in her eyes. "I… I mean, I know he's been working a lot… but I've hardly seen him and…oh, forget it, it doesn't really matter."

Olivia blew out a heavy breath and turned back toward the side window.

I sat in stunned silence for a few moments, trying to regain my composure. I was completely caught off guard by Olivia's question and her whole demeanor at that moment.

Even though we had not mentioned the proposal to anyone, it was pretty stupid on my part to think Olivia wouldn't have picked up on the changes in our relationship. Of course she would be upset Edward had not been around very much since we returned from our trip; the two of them had really grown close over the last several weeks.

Was it not one of the things I stressed to Edward that night on the lake about how important it was to remember our actions and decisions affected more than just the two of us?

Obviously, I had failed- miserably- in following through on making sure she was not adversely affected by my decisions.

I had allowed the excuse of our busy schedules to push the talk we all needed to have onto the back burner. Knowing there were things that needed to be said, I still waited, hesitated, not really sure where to begin the conversation with Edward, much less with Olivia.

I closed my eyes and released the breath I was holding, trying to figure out the right way to respond. As I opened my eyes and took in my daughter's expression, I felt the guilt of my inaction weigh heavily on my heart.

"No, baby," I whispered, thumbing away an errant tear as it slipped from the corner of her eye. "I'm so sorry, sweetie. We didn't have a fight and Edward is not mad at you. We've both just been really busy, okay?"

Olivia stared at me for a long time before nodding. I gave her a reassuring smile, turning my attention back to the moving line of cars in front of us momentarily.

"But," I continued, pulling forward, "there are some things that Edward and I need to talk about and we want to include you on those things, too, okay?"

"Yeah," Olivia nodded but turned to look out the window. I could see in her expression she wasn't really satisfied with that answer, but for right now I just didn't have anything more to give.

"I love you, squirt," I said as we finally reached the drop-off point and Olivia began to open the door. Olivia turned to look at me over her shoulder; a smile finally curled the corner of her mouth as she looked at me through her thick lashes.

My breath caught and I had to swallow the lump that constricted my throat as the expression on her face reminded me so much of Mike.

"I love you, too, mom."

I smiled at my beautiful child and blinked away the stinging in my eyes as she hopped out of the car and made her way inside the dance studio.

I picked up my cell phone to call Edward.

~O~

While I gathered up the take out, silver, and glasses we needed for our veg-out session, Rosalie spread a sheet over the family room floor and popped in the first of our movie-thon.

There was just nothing better than being curled up in front of the TV watching every Patrick Swayze movie ever made and drinking copious amounts of alcohol, all while eating amazing Italian food from our favorite restaurant, dressed in our PJ's. Rosalie and I had not gotten a chance to catch up since my return from Seattle. With our boys both working and Olivia staying at her grandparents overnight, we were taking advantage of the time alone.

It had been a long time since Rose and I had done the girl's night thing. I missed it - a lot.

"So, you really haven't told me anything about your trip? How'd Papa-bear react to Edward?" Rose asked once we were tucked into our mutual plates of heavenly pasta. She brought the glass to her lips and smirked at me over the rim as she took a long sip of wine.

I snickered at Rosalie's reference to my dad. She had called him Papa-bear since we were kids and he ate it up.

"Actually," I laughed, stabbing a large chunk of chicken and fettuccini pasta, "they got along pretty well. You know Charlie, as long as Olivia and I are happy, he's cool with whatever I decide. And get this…" I shook my head, laughing at the memory of Carlisle and Charlie together. "Carlisle, Edward's dad, and Charlie are like BFF's now."

"Seriously?" Rosalie snorted around a mouthful of ravioli and I nodded.

"The trip…" I continued, shrugging, knowing I wanted to get Rosalie's advice but also pretty sure I knew how she would react. "It was good. Enlightening. Confusing, but good."

I brought my own glass to my lips, covering the grimace I felt crinkle my face.

"Which means what exactly?" Rose quirked an eyebrow, staring at me intently as she waited for my answer.

I set the glass down and dropped my eyes to my plate, pushing the Fettuccini around and contemplating how to go about explaining everything that our trip had revealed about Edward and our relationship.

"Well… for one I found out Edward's ex is not just an ex-girlfriend… she's an ex-fiancée," I said, staring at my plate and cringing when I heard Rosalie's gasp.

"What? Are you kidding me?" she asked, the shrill tone to her voice leaving little to the imagination as to how she felt. "You guys have been together what, like, nearly three months? And in all that time he couldn't find it in him to mention this?"

"I know," I nodded finally, raising my head to look at her. She was pissed, which I expected. What I didn't expect were the next words out of her mouth and I couldn't help but laugh.

"I bet Em knew this," she said through gritted teeth. "I'm going to hurt him if he knew this and didn't say anything."

"No, Rosalie," I said, shaking my head. "This is between Edward and me… and well that's not… the whole story…"

I trailed off, really not sure how to proceed. She was really ticked and I needed her to listen, not go off on a tangent.

"What do you mean?"

I cleared my throat, took another sip of wine, and a really deep breath before I proceeded to recount all the things that happened on our trip - Beginning with Edward's freak out at the airport, then the discovery that his parents were not just rich but uber-rich, to the fact Edward had proposed to me the night after his revelations about his past engagement to Irina.

Rosalie sat stone cold silent throughout the entire recitation of everything that occurred all the way down to my retelling of the events at the party and Jasper's handling of the Irina factor.

I smiled slightly, remembering the smug look on Jasper's face when asked how he accomplished getting Irina the hell out of dodge before Edward located and ripped into her.

'I have skills, my friend,' was his only reply. I hoped to eventually get the full scale details of what he said and did.

"Okay," Rosalie said, shaking her head. "Back the train up, did you say that Edward proposed to you?"

I grimaced, flinching at the tone of her voice and nodding with a whispered 'yes' while reaching to refill both our glasses.

"And your response to that was what, again?"

"I asked him 'why'," I murmured, feeling the constriction in my chest as I remembered the look on his face when that one word left my lips.

He honestly looked as though he had been physically struck and I knew instantly he misunderstood me, just as I didn't understand his proposal at that moment. If I was being honest, I was still having a hard time with his explanation. Though I felt what he said was true, it didn't help to alleviate the confusion it caused.

"And…." Rosalie pushed, "what did he say to this? Because I could swear I heard you tell me he didn't know why he asked you to marry him? But," she said holding up a hand shaking her head, "I'm sure I misunderstood because surely to God the knot head did not tell you he didn't know why he would have proposed. So, just to help me understand here, repeat that for me once again. Please."

I stared at her for a long moment before speaking.

"You heard right, Rose," I said, laughing humorlessly.

After everything that had occurred in the short time before that night on his family's little island, it was hard enough to wrap my head around his proposing without the whole 'I don't know why I proposed, Bella.'

The whole thing felt more like a reaction to the insecurity and anxiety he felt over the Irina thing, not a true testament to how he felt. Though we had discussed his keeping something like that from me and the fact I was willing to forgive that faux pas, for him to propose to me the very next night and then not know why he did it was like pouring salt into an open wound. Regardless of his explanations or how much I knew he loved me, that hurt.

Even with knowing Edward could be a bit impulsive at times, that was just asking more than I could give. I couldn't tell him yes, not until I knew for sure he was truly ready for that type of commitment and that he knew without a shadow of a doubt the reasons he was asking were because it was what he wanted, not in reaction to a stressful situation.

"Has he lost his damn mind?" Rosalie's expression was murderous and for a moment I actually feared for Edward's life when she saw him next.

"Rose, please," I sighed, shaking my head and twirling my glass between my forefinger and thumb. "I really need you to help me figure this out… I'm just not sure what to think and I... don't know. I've kind of pulled back from him since we got home; I just needed some space to think. I know I've hurt him by doing that and now Olivia's upset, too. She asked me if Edward was mad at her. I messed up. I should have known that she wouldn't take well to him not being around…."

I trailed off as my throat constricted and my eyes burned with tears as the strain of emotions finally spilled over.

"Oh, Bella," Rosalie said, scooting closer and wrapping me in her arms. "Hey, listen, don't do that, honey," she held me, running a soothing hand over my hair for a long moment before pulling back and looking at me as I sniffled and wiped at my eyes.

"Don't beat yourself up over this. You can't be supermom all the time, Bella." Rosalie stroked a hand over my hair as I rested my head on her shoulder. "Of course you needed some time to think… You really need to knock some sense into that man of yours. Of all the idiotic… Sweet baby Jesus, was the man not thinking at all?" Rosalie scoffed.

"No, I don't think he was," I laughed despite myself. "As intelligent as that man is, there are times I just don't understand him at all. It's like… it's like these things just come out of his mouth without any filter whatsoever."

Rosalie snorted and shook her head as she finally released me from her embrace.

"Bella, you already know what you want," she said, smiling at me. "You're just looking for yours truly to tell you it's okay to take the chance, and, well, I just can't do that. You're going to have to decide that for yourself, hon. But I can tell you one thing… it's written all over your face what you want, there's really not any question. Just so you know."

"But… what about you, Rose," I said, looking into her eyes. "What will you do if Edward and I take a step like that?"

"Well," she smirked, holding my glass out to me. "There's something I wanted to talk to you about…."

~O~

"Hey," I breathed as I opened the door to see Edward standing just on the other side.

"Hey, sweetheart," he said, closing the distance between us and wrapping me in a hard embrace.

I buried my face in his chest and wound my arms around his middle, reveling in the sensation of being held by him once again. I felt my chest burn with the intensity of how much I had missed him over the last few days.

After my talk with Rosalie the night before, I knew - as if I didn't before - there was nowhere I wanted to be more than right where I stood at that very moment. No other place on Earth felt as safe, as right, as being held in the strong arms of this man.

I felt his warm breath filter through my hair as he pressed his lips to the side of my head, whispering his love.

"I missed you," I sighed, my voice muffled by the soft fabric of his t-shirt. "I really, really missed you."

Edward chuckled as he kissed my shoulder and then leaned back to look into my face, curling his large hands around my neck. His thumbs slowly ran over the sides of my throat, calming me as he stared intently into my eyes.

"I really, really missed you, too, baby," he whispered before bending to bring his lips to mine.

I was completely breathless when he finally pulled back, pressing his forehead to mine, a gentle smile playing at the corner of his mouth.

"Alright, break it up, you two," Rosalie laughed. I looked over my shoulder and smirked, seeing her making her way into the family room with her overnight bag slung on her shoulder and a good sized box in her hands.

"You on your way to Em's?" I asked, though I already knew the answer, pulling away from Edward's embrace and taking his hand to lead him into the other room.

Rosalie had revealed the night before that while we were in Seattle; Emmett had asked her to move in with him. She hadn't wanted to make a decision that affected both of us without talking with me first, so she waited to give him a final answer until we talked. Obviously she wasn't wasting any time taking her things to his house.

"Yep," she said over her shoulder as she placed a few small trinkets inside the box. "Just thought I would take a few smaller things over this morning. You," she said, nailing Edward with a hard look. "You are not on my list of people in my good graces right now. The only thing saving you at the moment is the fact that I have too much to do and not enough time to kick your butt properly for being an idiot."

Edward ran a hand through his hair and looked at me with an apprehensive expression, chuckling nervously.

"I'll talk to you guys later," Rosalie said as she closed the box and made to pick it up.

"You want some help with that, Rose?" Edward asked, releasing my hand and taking a step toward her.

"Nope, got it, thanks anyway," she said, smiling despite the fact she wanted to be mad at him.

I knew the feeling; it was hard to stay angry when the sweetness ran off him in waves.

I pulled Edward to the sofa as the door closed behind Rosalie. Flopping down and getting comfortable, I leaned against the arm, folding one leg under me as the other hung off the edge. Edward laughed as he relaxed on the opposite side, stretching his long legs out in front of him, throwing an arm over the back of the sofa and turning his body to face me slightly.

"So… Em and Rose are moving in together, huh?" he said, looking up to meet my gaze as a shy smile spread across his face.

"Yeah, guess he asked her while we were gone," I said, looking down to my lap and picking at a thread on the hem of my yoga pants.

"That's what Em said… I'm happy for them," he murmured.

"Yeah, me, too…" I trailed off as I looked back up to find his eyes scanning over my face, searching. I took a deep breath and released it slowly, unsure where to begin the conversation we needed to have so badly.

An uncomfortable silence filled the room. I felt so awkward sitting there staring at him, there were so many things I wanted to say, but where did I even begin? How did I explain that I wanted everything with him but I was scared of it all at the same time?

"Edward-"

"Bella-"

We laughed with a nervous edge as we both tried to speak at the same time.

"Bella, just… um… let me say something first, please," Edward said, surprising me that he didn't allow me to go first.

"Uh… okay," I nodded, feeling a knot of anxiety tightening my stomach.

Edward cleared his throat, shifting on the cushion, leaning closer, and taking my hand in one of his as he began to speak. His eyes were locked on our hands as he absently played with my fingers.

"I… when we were in Seattle and I… I proposed… I know that was really bad timing on my part… Um, with everything…" he trailed off, his voice so soft I had to strain to hear all his words. "And I'm sorry."

I felt the breath catch in my throat and Edward's hand tightened around mine as his head snapped up to look at me. I could feel my eyes widen as it dawned on me that my worst fears were about to come true. He was going to tell me he was just reacting to the situation, that he didn't want to marry me after all and that it had been a mistake. I wasn't ready for us to take that big a step, but I couldn't deny the fact my heart cracked wide open at the realization he was going to take back the proposal.

I wanted to stop him, to tell him that though I wasn't ready just yet, it didn't mean I didn't want to marry him at some point, but I couldn't get any words out of my mouth. I sat there staring at him, slack jawed and unable to stop the train wreck from happening.

"I'm sorry that I didn't respect our relationship… that I disrespected you by asking you to marry me at that moment in time, that by saying those words to you after… that by doing that I made you doubt my intentions were anything but honorable," he said, his voice as pained as the expression on his face. Edward lifted one hand and cupped my cheek. His thumb ran lightly over my bottom lip as I tried to regulate my breathing. My eyes closed of their own accord. "But… but Bella, I will never be sorry for asking you to be my wife."

I gasped as my eyes flashed open to look into the dark jade of Edward's gaze.

"I love you, Bella, and nothing will change that - ever," he said. The conviction in his voice, in his touch, left no room for doubt and my heart soared with the love I felt for him.

"I know that… that maybe right now you're, that we're, not ready for that step, but you need to know that I will ask again… sometime in the near future I will ask again," he murmured as he brought his face close to mine, pressing a kiss to my cheek. "And when I do, you'll say yes because there won't be anything to stop you," he whispered as he drug his soft lips over my skin. "Nothing to make you doubt how very much I love you… nothing to keep you from becoming my wife. You'll know just exactly how precious you are to me," his lips grazed over my jaw, nipping and placing open mouthed kisses along the bone until he reached the tender area just under my ear. "You'll know that there is nothing I wouldn't do for you."

"Oh… Edward," I sighed as my hands slid over his chest and shoulders until they were threading their way into his hair, holding him to me. "I already know… I do, I really do. I love you... so much. I hope you know that, too."

Edward's arms encircled my waist and he pulled me to him, crushing my body to his as he buried his face in my neck, whispering words of love to me as we held one another.

A short while later, Edward shifted me in his arms, running the backs of the fingers of one hand from my temple to my chin. Bringing his lips to mine, he kissed me gently.

"I have something else I wanted to talk to you about," he said, pressing his forehead against mine. He kept his eyes closed, wrapping a hand around my neck as the other ran up and down my spine. I played absently with the hair at the nape of his neck and smiled as he released a low groan when my nails scratched across his scalp.

"Um… how would you feel about moving in together?"

"Oh, God," I laughed embarrassingly loudly as his words sank in, knowing I wanted to ask him the exact same thing.

"I'm sorry," I giggled seeing the expression of confusion on his face, "I… I just… it's just that I was going to ask you the same thing."

Edward looked at me for a few moments and then began laughing himself, pulling me into his lap and pressing kisses along my neck and shoulder. "God, woman, you really had me worried there for a minute."

So...still a conversation to come. NYN is winding its way to the end and I have to tell you I am really, really going to miss these characters. Thank you to all of you who have loved this story from the beginning. Hi to all you new readers out there, thank you for jumping in and reading along...

Until next time...

xoxoxoxoxo

bellasunderstudy1

please visit www(.)cff(.)org for further information on Cystic Fibrosis and its treatment.