A/N: Hello my dears, I've finally managed to update this story. This was a little more angsty than most and this theme will continue for the next few chapters, but I promise it will all end well. I know I haven't included Charles and Elsie recently, but they will be making an appearance in the upcoming chapters. I have to thank my lovely betas once more for the feedback and editing. Any mistakes made are my own. I hope you all enjoy and please review.

Chapter 26

Having left the event early they reached the car easily and exited the parking lot with little delay. They were both quiet, but for different reasons. He had seen the way she'd been staring at Mr. Green, almost fixated on him. And there had been that encounter between them that he had interrupted when he came back from the coat check, but John hadn't heard the words exchanged between them. John trusted her of course, but it was hard not to be jealous when she seemed more preoccupied with a younger man. His brain told him he was being silly and it was all in his head, but he supposed that was the price one had to pay for giving their heart to someone else and loving them so much. John's eyes drifted over to Anna as he drove, he wondered to himself what was going through her head.

The city was packed, it was going to take them a lot longer to get home than she thought. She just wanted to be home, to see her little boy and hold him. After all this time, Henry had come back into their lives and he was about to turn their world upside down. He may not know the truth about Aidan yet, but he seemed unlikely to let this all go. And he was not a fan of John. That fact alone was sure to keep him around to taunt her. A part of her wanted to tell John about what happened, but he had been so adamant about protecting her and Aidan that Anna had to wonder how far he would go for her. For them. She wouldn't allow the love of her life to ruin his future or theirs by losing his temper with a shadow from her past. And yet, it was her secret, the desire to keep Aidan's father anonymous, that had sealed their fate. What if Henry went for custody? Her world was spinning violently out of control, she may as well have been stuck in a whirlpool. Swimming as hard as she could for salvation; hoping and fighting to reach land. Praying for sweet relief. Anna silently reprimanded herself for not reporting him to the police all those years ago. Even if she told someone now, too much time had passed and it would be his word against hers. As God was her witness she would not allow Aidan to fall into that monster's clutches. The mere thought of it left her stomach in knots and before she knew what was happening she was having trouble breathing and ordering John to stop the car.

"What?" John asked as he slowed the car and tried to find a clear area to park.

"I think I'm going to be sick. Just pull the car over!"

When the car finally stopped Anna practically burst out of the passenger door. She needed air, needed to escape the trapped feeling that was invading her senses. Her chest was tightening and every breath that exited her lungs seemed to hurt. The urge to vomit was imminent, but when a familiar hand came to rest on her back she felt her heart beat begin to slow. The palm of his hand drew small, soothing circles into her back. His voice seemed muffled somehow at first, but as she regained her ability to breathe fully again it became clearer.

"Anna? Are you alright?"

She repressed the urge to be sick and silently shook her head in a 'no' motion.

"Should we go to the hospital?"

Anna waved off the idea with one free hand, the other one was clutching at her stomach.

"What can I do?" he implored.

Anna turned abruptly to face him and threw her arms around him. Almost immediately she began crying into his chest; her tears soaking through his shirt. Whatever answer he had been expecting it wasn't what she said next.

"Love? What's wrong? Please talk to me," he gently coaxed her.

"He found me, John. He's back."

"What are you talking about? Who's back?"

She debated on how much to tell him, but she couldn't keep it to herself any longer. "Henry."

John was trying to play catch up with her words.

She could tell by the look in his eyes that he was there, but he was having trouble believing what he was hearing. "Mr. Green," she said. A nasty taste settled in her mouth just speaking his name. "He is Aidan's father," she conceded in defeat. The last of her secret was out in the open now.

Mr. Green? The Mr. Green was Aidan's biological father? And he had found his Anna? This man whom he had been forced to work with and put on a happy facade with for months was the same Mr. Green that had battered and bruised his poor Anna. Had nearly destroyed her not just physically, but emotionally as well. This could not be. John's face cycled through an array of emotions: confusion, followed by realization, and then anger. He tried not to linger on the last one too long, fully aware that Anna was watching him to gage his reaction. On the inside he was still fuming, livid, and if she weren't there to anchor him to that spot he might not have has as much restraint. In another life, his first instinct would have been to go back to the book launch, find the scum that was the source of all her pain, and strangle the life out of him. But that was the old John. How could he have been such a fool? He had wanted nothing more than to keep her from harm and instead he lead the lamb straight into the lion's den. Only now things were different. Anna would not be the only one at risk; he had to keep him away from Aidan.

Still, he wouldn't let Green bully her again, wouldn't let him torture Anna, or threaten to break apart the family they had formed. When he looked down and saw those sad eyes looking up at him he wrapped her in his arms more tightly. "It's going to be alright. It's going to be alright," he said it over and over like a mantra. His hand caressed her back in an effort to not only calm her, but himself as well. It was all he could do to keep from hopping back in his car and hunting the man down.

Once she had calmed down they were back in the car and on their way home. John's brain was operating on autopilot when it came to driving. Right now his mind was working overtime to catch up with the information he had just learned and he tried to calculate what Green's next move would be. He wouldn't have cornered Anna to speak to her unless he wanted to make a point of her knowing he was aware of who she was. But what would be the point of that? They obviously both knew one another already. Unless Green was counting on the fact that Anna hadn't told him about their past. He'd been right. Their connection had been a pill John couldn't quite swallow. How could Green have pulled off such a feat to have appeared charming and enticing to Anna all those years ago, when the man clearly couldn't anymore? How had Green kept his dark side hidden for so long when he had been setting off alarms in John's head since day one?

He stopped the car a block short of Anna's house, they had to make a plan before they got back home. She wouldn't want to talk about this with Aidan present. "What did he say?" John asked. His voice was louder than he intended and had scared her out of her thoughts.

"What?" she replied, clearly rattled.

"When I came back from getting our coats, he was talking to you. What did he say? Did he threaten you?"

"He…" Oh God. How could she tell him? He would lose control if he knew what Henry had proposed in John's absence.

"Don't try to protect him."

"I wasn't."

"And don't try to protect me."

"I…I don't want you to get upset."

"It's not your job to protect me, Anna. It's my job to protect you," he reminded her.

"You can't protect me if he gets the better of you," she protested.

John's mouth hung wide open as he tried to make sense of what she just said.

"If you go off on him, he'll play innocent. Henry will press charges against you, and I won't have you end up behind bars for something you didn't do."

John hated the sound of that man's name passing between her lips, but he powered through it. He tried to heed her words, after all, she would know Green best. The only way he was going to be able to fight his opponent was to know how he fought, and if the man fought dirty, so be it. He would be careful, he wouldn't allow Green to get the best of him. His eyes looked over to her waiting for an answer.

"He cornered me. Wouldn't let me by even though I told him you were coming back," Anna recounted the events. She noticed John's jaw clenched at that bit of information. "He said he wasn't fond of you and that you couldn't possibly keep me happy. I defended you. He...he didn't like that." Her voice quaked and her lip quivered.

"Did he hurt you?"

"No. But, he said I looked like I could use some real fun. He said that maybe I had forgotten what I was missing," she continued.

John's hands clenched the steering wheel tightly. Green was toying with her.

"That's it. We're going to the police station first thing in the morning. We are filing a restraining order against him."

"No, John. No," she panicked.

"He can't get away with treating you like this." Short of beating the man to a pulp, John had no other way of protecting her than to go through the cops. Here he was trying to play by the rules and she was taking away the only option they had. He stared at her utterly baffled. Why would she reject his idea?

"Don't you understand? I can't give him any more reason to take Aidan from me," she said almost hysterically.

"What do you mean? He doesn't even know about Aidan," John said.

"He knows we have a little boy," she said. Green's voice played through her head over and over as he said good bye to them at the launch party. "He knows he wasn't well. Please tell me you didn't tell him about Aidan's broken arm."

He took a moment to think about it. "No," John said regretfully, "but he was there when Daisy showed up to announce that you called from the hospital."

"Shit," Anna sighed under her breath. Her hand clutched at the arm of the door in an effort to keep herself steady.

"It might not mean anything," John said trying to convince her, but even he was having trouble believing it.

"I can't lose him, John. He's my little boy."

"He's mine too. We won't lose him."

"Can you promise me that?"

John stared at her blankly, he knew to make such promises would be futile. The fact was he couldn't promise that. The only thing John was certain of was he would do everything in his power to keep Henry away from Anna and Aidan.

"I didn't think so," she said. The moment the words flew from her mouth she regretted it, the hurt instantly written across John's face. This was more her fault than it was his. She could have prevented this from happening if she had just been upfront with John from the beginning. "I'm sorry. Can we please go home now? I just really need to see Aidan."

"Sure." There was still so much they needed to discuss. But truth be told, he really needed to see Aidan too.

When they pulled up to the house Anna stopped John as he was about to undo his seatbelt. "I know it probably goes without saying, but I don't want to speak about this in front of Aidan. Not unless we absolutely have to."

John nodded in agreement. All these months of therapy and breaking down walls that had been built to keep out the world were suddenly going back up. He just prayed she didn't shut him out as well.

Just then, as if reading his thoughts she spoke up. "As far as I'm concerned you are his father, John." She turned to look at the house and attempted to make herself presentable so as not to attract any attention from Phyllis. After she took a deep breath she stared back at John. "His only father," she affirmed. "I need you to know that, because things are probably going to get worse before they get better. I'm not convinced Henry will let things remain as they are."

"He can do his worst, Anna. But I'm not giving either of you up, and I'll be damned before he gets visitation of Aidan."

His words worried her, but right now so much was on the line she didn't know if she could tell the difference between right and wrong if it meant their family stayed intact. She tried to focus her attentions back on the present, "We should get inside, it's getting late and Phyllis will want to be heading home."

"Right then." John unbuckled himself and came around to Anna's side to help her out of the car.

As they walked up towards the house he let his hand slip down to her lower back to guide her and offer his silent assurance that things would work out somehow. He began to unlock the door when Phyllis beat him to the punch. "Thought I heard you pull up. How was it?"

"It was lovely," Anna offered, not too convincingly. She had already set her purse down and was undoing her coat when she asked, "How was Aidan?"

"He went to bed not long after we got his pajamas on," Phyllis replied with a smile. "He's a good boy. You're very lucky."

"Yes. We are," Anna replied softly. "Thanks so much for watching him."

"Anytime. I don't have any children of my own. I get my fill this way," Phyllis said cheerfully.

"Careful. We might be tempted to take you up on your offer," John teased.

Anna looked around the room at the toys strewn about.

"I tried to finish cleaning everything up before you arrived, but he was adamant to show me every single toy he had," Phyllis explained.

"It's quite alright. It means he had fun It must have been a good night," Anna replied. At least someone had a good night she thought.

"I hope you don't mind, I let Jasper sleep with him."

"Oh, no worries," John said with a wave of his hand. The dog had become a frequent visitor to their house as Aidan had always been close with the furry companion. He seemed to be bouncing back and forth between their house and the Carsons, but John didn't mind.

"I should go check on Aidan," Anna said. "Thanks again, Phyllis. We'll have to do tea later this week."

"I'd love that."

"I'll walk her out," John said. "Make sure she gets home alright."

"That's very kind of you," Phyllis responded.

Anna was about to head to Aidan's room when she stopped in her tracks and turned to address John, "Don't forget to…"

"...lock up? I will," he replied sadly with his hands in his pockets.

His room had fared better than the living room. There weren't nearly as many toy landmines awaiting her on the path from the door to his bed. His night light held its constant vigil as did Jasper, but he had begun to sleep without his teddy bear as of late. Aidan had been insisting he was getting to be too big for it, but that didn't stop Anna from tucking it into his bed once he was fast asleep. Everytime she did, he instinctively pulled it close to his chest and squeezed it tight.

Jasper's eyes fluttered open when she opened the door a little wider, his head raising as she crossed the room. Anna signaled for him to stay and he did so obediently with a huff of exhaustion. She was sure he was just as worn out as Phyllis, if not more. Anna found an open spot on the side of the bed and leaned over to watch her little boy. He may be five now, but he was her baby all the same. Aidan was fast asleep and didn't even stir as she leaned forward to kiss his cheek. Right now his biggest problems consisted of having to brush his teeth, transitioning from Sundays to Mondays (her boy loved his sleep as much as she did), and nights when he didn't get more than one bedtime story. Anna was determined those would be his only problems for as long as she was able.

John watched her from the doorway. This was his family now, his whole world. He needed to stop Henry in his tracks, but first he had to get something off his chest. Something he should have told Anna about a long time ago. John couldn't risk her finding out on her own. He cleared his throat to draw her attention.

"Ready for bed?" she asked softly.

He nodded and came towards Anna and helped her up.

"He's out like a light," she reported.

John knelt down long enough to kiss Aidan goodnight and then the two of them retreated to their room. Anna was combing her hair and preparing for bed as John lay waiting for her. His book was sitting open on his lap, but he hadn't been able to focus on the words on the page. Her revelation was still playing over in his head. Her body seemed rigid as she stood by the bathroom sink, no doubt she was stressed from the evening. A part of him thought the conversation could wait until morning, but he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep properly until they got everything out in the open. He finally closed the book and set it on the nightstand before removing his reading glasses. "Did you know he was here in Downton?" he asked innocently.

She stopped combing her hair and looked at John through the reflection in the mirror. "No."

John sat there as he gave her answer some thought.

"I guess I was naive to think he couldn't ever find us. It's not as if I changed my name or went to a completely different place. The university I attended was far enough from here and Henry didn't know where Elsie lived, which is why I went to her house after he...well you know."

His eyes clenched shut as he remembered Elsie's telling of the story. He shifted his focus back to Anna. "But you didn't seem surprised to see him tonight? You were so composed," he noted.

Anna set the hairbrush down and turned to face John. She leaned against the door frame, the space between them growing with every passing second. " I should have told you. I feel badly about it now," she said regretfully trying to find the words.

"Told me what?" John sat up straight and turned his body to face her more directly. He had been all cuddled up in his blankets and wore a set of pajamas she had gotten him for Christmas with blue and white stripes.

"I thought I saw him in London."

"When?"

"A few weeks ago. I'm not even sure if he saw me. I told myself it was all in my head because I'd been having nightmares." Anna couldn't even look him in the eye as she spoke.

"My darling...why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I didn't want you to think I was still hung up on him, or that I was having doubts about the wedding," she explained.

He offered her a sympathetic look.

"Worst of all I was worried I was going crazy and I didn't want you to look at me differently."

"Anna, I could never. I would love you no matter what comes." He motioned for her to join him on the bed with his hand so he could hold her properly.

She shut the lights off to the bathroom and climbed up onto the bed. Her body curled up instinctively next to him. "I'm sorry," she whispered against his chest as she squeezed him tight, "I shouldn't have kept that from you. I don't want there to be any more secrets between us."

John let his hand rub up and down her arm. "Anna...while we are discussing secrets…" She sat up to look him in the eye. "I have one that I should have told you. I would have told you sooner, but when I found out about your history with Aidan's father...I, well I was afraid you would think me a monster like he was."

"John, I could never think that of you," she assured him.

"I just don't want you to be afraid of me."

"Afraid? Of what?" For a moment she thought he might be teasing her, but she knew him better than that. He wouldn't joke about such things.

"Afraid that I was capable of hurting you or Aidan," he answered her softly.

"You would never…"

"I know I wouldn't."

"Then what?"

"You know about my history in the Army?"

"A little. Only what you've told me. I know you served under Robert and you were discharged after serving your time."

"But I didn't tell you why I was discharged or what I did in the Army."

She shook her head. "I just always assumed it was too painful to talk about."

"You would be right, but not for the reason you think." He took her hands in his own and stroked them lovingly. John spoke as if he were speaking to a child. Slowly and softly. His eyes holding her attention the whole time. "I didn't do anything admirable and I don't avoid talking about it because I lost someone dear to me. I don't talk about it because I'm ashamed."

"Ashamed? You fought for King and country. There is no dishonor in that," she protested.

He couldn't help but smile proudly. She didn't even have all the facts, and she was still defending him. He didn't deserve her. "Robert and I were not just any soldiers, we were part of a special forces unit trained in the most effective way to disarm a man, and kill him if necessary."

"Oh," she replied. Her hands fiddled with the hem of her pajama top. "Did you...kill anyone?" Anna asked softly.

"I did. Some very bad people. People that would have hurt others if given the chance."

"You were just doing what you were told to do," she said, but it sounded more like a question.

"Yes."

"Does it bother you? Your time in the Army, that is?"

"Part of it, but it's complicated. You see, one night while Robert and I were given leave for R&R we went out for drinks at his insistence. I had a little to drink, but I wasn't drunk. I swear to you, I can recall every detail of that night," he reported.

Anna nodded her head, accepting his words for truth. She had no reason to doubt him, but a part of her stiffened as she prepared herself for his revelation. "Go on."

"Robert had attracted the attention of a local woman, Jane. They didn't do anything, but her husband became quite jealous. We were sitting at the bar when her husband came up to Robert, and threatened to rough him up if Robert didn't leave his wife alone. I got involved at that point and said we didn't want any trouble, even offered to buy him a drink. He pushed my hand away and said he wasn't talking to me." Just retelling the story now was upsetting John. "Jane tried to pull him away, told him they should head home. That was when her husband became furious, he'd clearly had more to drink than he should have. He shoved her aside harder than he should have and she fell to the ground. Her husband didn't even acknowledge that she was hurt. I went to help her up and when I took Jane's hand to set her on her feet I saw the marks. I knew those bruises had come from her husband. He lunged at me, even got a good punch in to the side of my face," he said pointing out a minor scar that lay just to the side of his eye. "I fought him off and I knocked him out."

"You were only defending yourself," Anna said.

"But the moment he was out cold I should have stopped. He wasn't a threat anymore. I couldn't help myself. Something snapped inside of me and it was like I was defending my mother from my father all over again. All those years that I couldn't do something to protect her came screaming back at me and I took it out on him." He looked over at Anna, hoping she didn't see a monster beside her. Her expression was difficult to read, but she didn't seem put off by him.

"John...I…" she tried to comfort him, but he wouldn't allow her to speak. He had to get the rest of this off his chest. She had to know the whole truth.

"Robert had to pull me off of him. I broke his nose, cracked two of his ribs, and left him with a black eye."

She stared at him with her mouth wide open, but couldn't find the words to speak. Her hold on his hand remained steady.

"That man deserved every bit of what he got, but in the end I paid for it. Witnesses in the bar saw him take the first swing and attack me, even Jane came to my defense. But the military didn't like my excessive use of force on a civilian while in uniform. I was released from service after that." His eyebrows furrowed together as John considered how his life could have turned out differently. Had he never done that he might still be married to Vera, he might still be in the army, and he wouldn't have met Anna. At least in that respect he was grateful for the way things turned out. But it was a mark on his record, one that would most likely not be overlooked if they were to go up against Henry for sole custody of Aidan.

"Why are you telling me this now?" she asked.

"You made the comment earlier, wondering if Henry knew Aidan broke his arm. I'm assuming you were worried because you think it will be a bad reflection on you as a parent."

She nodded her head in agreement. The injury couldn't have come at a worse time.

"But the difference here is that children fall. They have accidents. Parents make mistakes. I shouldn't have done what I did. I knew better. It would kill me if I'm the reason you lose Aidan. I didn't want you to find out from some stranger in court, if it comes to it. It was my mistake and you deserve to know what you are marrying into. I'd understand if you didn't want to continue things. Aidan has to come first," he reasoned.

"Are you saying you don't want to get married anymore?"

"I won't if you don't want to." Letting them go would be the hardest thing he'd ever do in his life, but he could live with that decision if he knew it would guarantee their safety.

She was silent for a few seconds. Seconds that seemed to feel like hours to him. "I wish you would have told me sooner," Anna said as her hand squeezed his. "I understand why you didn't. I know it's hard not to feel ashamed of something like that. But, I only wish someone like you would have seen the signs sooner and saved me from Henry the way you did for Jane. Even if the circumstances were different. I love you with my whole heart, John. And if you think for one minute I'm going to let you go that easily, you have got another thing coming."

Her words had taken him by surprise. She kissed him slowly and wrapped her arms around his neck as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Oh my darling, I love you more. We'll get through this, I promise. Somehow I will find a way to protect you both."

She snuggled up against him and burrowed into the blankets as he moved to cover her with them. Anna pressed her body flush against his and as the two of them attempted to fall asleep she said, "I know you will." Henry's shadow may have been looming on their doorstep, but knowing John was on her side and the extended group of friends and family they had to support them. Anna felt more confident than she had earlier that things would workout in their favor as long as they didn't let Henry divide them.