Chapter Twenty Six

Clary POV:

It's been about three months since Izzy's wedding and I was starting to get really discouraged that I haven't been able to get pregnant. I knew that it was going to take some time but I thought that after trying for almost a year we'd make some progress. What really sucked about not being able to get pregnant was I felt like I was letting Jace down. He hasn't had a family since he was sixteen, and as much as he always reassures me that just the two of us being a family is amazing I know he wants kids of his own. I decided that I would go and talk to by OBG/YN today and see if there is anything that I can do to get pregnant faster. I walk into the office and wait until my name is called.

"Clarissa Herondale?" I stand up and make my way back to the room. The nurse asks some general questions before she starts to leave. "The doctor will be in shortly." I thank you and soon I'm alone. After about 5 minutes there is a knock on the door and my doctor walks in.

"Hello Clary, how are you today?"

"I'm good, how are you?"

"Very well. What is the reason for your visit today?"

"My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for almost a year now, and we have been having absolutely no luck, I was wondering if there was a way to speed the process along."

"What have you been doing? Just having unprotected sex?"

"Yea. I went off birth control, and we stopped using condoms. But nothing seems to be working."

"Have you though you might be barren?" Immediately my face fell and I think she noticed. "Why don't we have you tested, and I'll let you know a soon as the results come in." I nod, and make an appointment for the next day. I make my way home not knowing how to feel. If I couldn't have children I felt like I was letting Jace and myself down. I walk into our house and plop on the couch. I'm completely lost in thought until I hear the front door open, I look over and there is Jace.

"Hey babe, what's wrong?" He places his things on the table and makes his way over to me.

"I went to the doctor today. I wanted to see why we can't get pregnant."

"And what did she say?"

"She brought up the possibility that I could be barren. She is going to run some tests. I have another appointment tomorrow."

"It's okay Clare. Everything will work out."

"But what if I have no eggs Jace, we can't have kids."

"So? We can always adopt. Clary, as much as I would love to have our own kids, if we cant conceive it won't be the end of the world."

"I feel like I'm letting you down."

"Why?" He grabs my hand and starts rubbing circles on my palm.

"Because as much as you say you love our little family right now, I want to be able to give you an actual family. We both haven't had the best of luck in that department, but I wanted to be able to give you that. And now there is a possibility that I can't even do that for you. I'm useless as a woman."

"That is not true Clarissa." The use of my full name shocks me and I look up and our eyes meet. "If I knew before we got together that you couldn't have kids I'd still do everything the exact same. I love you Clary, I love everything about you. And you still don't know if that's the case Clary. You could still possibly have eggs. We'll cross that bridge after we get the tests results back." I nod slowly and burry my head farther into his chest. "Come on, I'm taking you out to dinner."

"Why?"

"Well, I got a promotion today. Well, not so much a promotion but one of our head athletic trainers got a job at an Ivy League collage and he took it, so they asked me to take his place. They have been very pleased with my skills, they said I've earned it."

"Oh my god Jace! That's so incredible. I'm so proud of you." I threw my arms around my neck and pulled him into a kiss. Before I got the chance to pull away Jace deepened the kiss. "If we keep doing this, I don't think we'll make it to dinner." I say between kiss as Jace makes his way down my neck.

"We'll go to dinner, but for now I think I want dessert." I let out a low moan as Jace starts to get rid of our clothes. I didn't have it in me to stop him and before I knew it we were both panting and breathing rather heavily. He collapsed down next to me and pulled me up so that I was lying on his stomach as he places kisses on the top of my head. I look over at the clock an notice it's almost 5.

"We should get ready for dinner. How should I dress?"

"Well, do you want to make it formal or would you like to keep it casual?"

"Casual." He nods and I give him one last kiss as I make my way up to our room to get a shower. Thirty minutes later Jace and I were both ready and headed for the restaurant.

The night was amazingly sweet. Nothing big, but everything was just right. We spent the night laughing and enjoying each others company, something that since we both started working got a little lost. I don't remember the last time Jace and I had a night like this. Even though everything was perfect tonight I couldn't get the thought of the possibility of being barren out of my head. I knew Jace was being really supportive but I still wanted to give Jace children, something that was a piece of me and a piece of him.

The next day I went back to the doctors and the whole time my leg was bouncing and my heart was racing. I was so lost in thought that I didn't even hear the lady call my name. It was until she came over and tapped me on the shoulder that I finally broke out of my daydream.

"Clarissa Herondale?" She asked again and I just nodded. I followed her back to the room. After the normal questions she left and I waited for my doctor.

"Hello Clary, are you ready to get tested?"

"Yes." I answered with a rather shaky voice. After the tests were completed I said my goodbyes and headed home. I was so scared that the test results would come back telling me that I couldn't have kids, and I honestly don't know what I would do if that happened.