Finding Peace Part 2
*tear and steam alert*
Jack awoke a few hours later with Elizabeth still in his arms. "Uh, I've missed this." Groaning, he pulled her closer. Taking in her vanilla lavender scent with a deep breath. He glanced at the clock on the bedside table. "3:00am, 12:30pm in Afghanistan," he whispered to himself.
He began wondering what was happening back at his FOB. Were the injured healing alright? Had they been sent out on any more patrols? Even laying in bed next his wife a part of him was still overseas. He felt responsible for the men left there. He prayed that once he returned, they could complete the overall objective quickly so he could return home to this. This was the life he yearned for. This was what he was fighting for.
Gingerly he climbed out of the bed, hoping to not wake Elizabeth. He knew he wasn't going to be able to sleep with his mind running so much. Once he dressed Jack headed over to the main house on a tea hunt.
Jack was surprised to find the light on when he entered the house and even more surprised to see he wasn't alone.
"Mom? What are you doing up?"
"I could ask you the same thing son. Everything alright?" Charlotte sat at the kitchen table sipping tea.
"Oh, ah yeah. Just having some trouble sleeping."
"What? You two didn't tire each other out enough?" She teased.
"Mom! Boundaries!" Jack blushed causing Charlotte to laugh.
"My apologies. Tea?"
"Yes please." Jack shook his head as he took a seat at the table. Charlotte poured Jack some tea before topping off her own cup. The two sat in silence for a bit until Charlotte decided to get right to it.
"Jack, how are you really doing over losing Doug like that? I know it's not easy, this road you're walking."
"No, it's not." Jack took a sip of tea while trying to put his thoughts together. "I don't know. I just don't get it, Mom. He was right there less than 6 feet from me. How is it he's gone and I'm not?"
"Life doesn't make sense son. It was Doug's time. Now you may disagree with that or hate it and it's your right to. But if we believe that God is in this, we have to trust that he will make something of this."
"I should have done something more. I could've stopped it."
"How? Jack I'm sure you've gone over that day and every detail a million times in your head. So tell me, what have you come up that you could have possibly done differently?"
Jack sighed. She was right. He had replayed every moment of that mission over and over trying to find what he did wrong.
"I don't know. Maybe if I had warned him sooner, moved faster or not sent him in with me. If I had gone alone it would have…"
"You did your job, son. There was nothing you could have done." Charlotte squeezed his hand and got up from the table, disappearing into the office. When she returned she had in hand an old shoebox.
"Here." She handed the box to Jack. "I want you to take these."
"What is it?" He opened the box.
"Those are some of the letters your father and I wrote each other. These in particular are ones we exchanged when he'd lost men he was serving with. I thought maybe they could help."
Jack look back and forth from the box to his mom.
"I know if your father were here he'd take you for a walk or sit down here and have it out with you." She took a breath to compose herself. "With these, maybe he can still be a help to you."
"Thanks Mom, I'll take good care of them."
Charlotte nodded with a smile. "You're so much like him, Jack. I see him in you all the time." She laughed, "Tommy, well he's just like me. Probably why we butt heads so much but you..." She ran her hand over his cowlick.
They talked until their tea was gone. Afterwards Jack went back to his wife as Charlotte had instructed. "Don't waste your time looking at my old face when you can be looking at her," she had teased.
He walked over to the side of the bed, kissing the top of Elizabeth's head. Holding his lips there longer than usual, just to feel her presence. She looked so peaceful sleeping there. He undressed for bed but still feeling restless, he grabbed a blanket and the shoebox, taking them over to the fireplace. As he sat on the floor Jack examined the letters, noticing how they were dated and paper clipped in groups. His mom had apparently grouped them together to make it easier to read the conversations as they unfolded.
Elizabeth stirred in bed, startled for a moment when she noticed Jack wasn't with her. She climbed out, wrapping a blanket around herself and went to join Jack by the fire.
Jack smiled up at her as she approached. Spreading his legs so she could sit in between them.
"Whatcha looking at?" She asked as she snuggled up against his chest. He handed her one collection of letters and explained the meaning behind them. She scanned the letter in her hand, seeing a lot of the same sentiments she had wanted to say to Jack herself. "May I?" she asked holding up the letters. Jack nodded and she began to read it.
"My Dear Tom,
We just received the news about Staff Sergeant Adams death. I hate that you're so far away with all this going on. I wish I was there with you. I can't imagine what you're feeling right now. You've said many times how you respect him as a colleague and friend. I know you can't call home much, but I'm here to listen to anything you need to say, or read anything you want to write down. Please don't bottle it up too much. You're a strong man, but even so things like this are hard. When the dark clouds roll in, which they unfortunately will, remember that I love you, I'm proud of you and that I will always be by your side."
Elizabeth turned her head to face Jack slightly, caressing his stubbled cheek. Letting him know she felt the same for him.
"Report from home is that we are all doing well. Tommy got himself stuck up in that tree again. Says he's trying to climb up onto the roof. Apparently it's our fault for not building the house closer to the tree. So much sass in that little man. Jack was a sweetie. He climbed up and coached him down. He's so much like you. He and Leland have been using the compass you gave him for his birthday a lot. Practicing orienteering off in the woods. I was nervous about him getting lost at first but he's really good. I got a new cookbook that I've been trying out. I like it but the boys aren't to sure. Jack suggested politely that I try and get my money back. Well I guess that's all for now. I love you, Tom. Don't you ever forget it."
Elizabeth handed the letters back to Jack. He flip to the next one, the one from his dad and began to read aloud.
"Dear Char,
You can't know how much I needed that letter. I miss you and the boys more than anything and right now I wish for nothing more than to be home with you. I love hearing about the boys. 5 and 9 are such fun ages. You know I was just like Tommy at his age too. He'll be alright. I'm so proud of both of them. Make sure to tell them that for me. Even though I can't be with them, it's important to me that they know I always love them."
Jack's chest tightened at those last few words. He missed his dad so much. Especially now. Elizabeth took Jack's free hand in hers, giving it a squeeze.
"Life here is okay. We're all trying to rally around each other after the loss while still doing our jobs. Adams was a good man. I feel like I'm responsible for this somehow. That as his CO and friend I should've been able to protect him. I know that's not true, on some level anyway, but I can't help it. I feel completely at fault."
Jack folded the letter and placed the letter back in the box. He rested his head down on Elizabeth's shoulder. He was feeling so much like his dad had, even with Mr. Burke's words earlier. The weight of his guilt was feeling heavier and heavier on his shoulders.
Elizabeth sensed his struggle. She turned to face him warping herself and the blanket around him.
"You okay?" she whispered, giving his lips a light kiss.
He looked into her eyes. This beautiful, smart, strong woman. The look she was giving him was full of love and compassion. It meant the world to him to have her by his side. He knew in that moment, with her and God's help, he'd making it through this.
"I will be. I love you."
"I love you too." Elizabeth leaned in closer with a mischievous grin across her face.
"What are you doing Mrs. Thornton?" He asked with his own grin.
"Trust me," she whispered in his ear.
He groaned as his body tensed with anticipation. Her warm soft lips moved along the side of his neck covering him with the most sensual kisses. He could feel his whole body come alive at her touch.
"The way I see it, you took your time with me. Now it's my turn to take my time with you." Her voice low and seductive has she careful pushed him back to lay on the blanket behind him.
….
"That was amazing," Jack said taking in a deep breath.
"Yes it was." Elizabeth smiled over at him. Cuddling closer as they relaxed in front of the fireplace still wrapped up together in the blankets.
"Making love by a fireplace, wasn't this on our bucket list?" Jack asked.
"We have a love making bucket list?" She laughed.
"Well, I just call it a bucket list, but I guess a number of things on there are moments like this so sure." They laughed together.
"Alright… are you sure we haven't done this before though? We do have a fireplace at home."
"Which we rarely use, and I think I'd remember." He kissed her temple.
"True. So when did we make this bucket list?" Her voice gradually grew softer as she began to drifted off.
"On our honeymoon. I think it was one of the nights we sat out and watched the stars." He smiled at the memory.
"Hmm, we should do that again." She spoke just above a whisper.
"As you wish, my love."
Jack laid there listening to Elizabeth as she breathed. It was simple, but left him feeling full and content. When it became clear she had fallen asleep he cradled her in his arms and carried her to the bed. He crawled in bed facing her with his head resting on his arm.
"I could watch you sleep all day, beautiful." He moved a few stray curls behind her ear. Before long he was asleep too. Dreaming of their future.
….
The next morning down in the kitchen, Julie and Tom were up early making breakfast for the family. Tom had noticed how little sleep his mom had been getting and how she lingered longer at the pictures of their dad when she'd pass by. He looked over towards Julie, watching as she flipped the pancakes in the pan. He couldn't imagine the pain he'd feel if anything happened to her. He knew Charlotte missed their dad deeply. And with everything that had happened recently, she was now ever more worried about Jack too. It would be a lot for anyone. He figured the least he could do was make a little breakfast and let her sleep.
"Morning everyone," Elizabeth said as she and Jack entered the kitchen.
"Morning!" Tom and Julie smiled at their siblings.
"What is this I'm seeing?" Jack teased. "You're cooking?"
"Yeah, we were up and I figured we'd give Mom a break." Jack gave his brother's shoulder a squeeze, letting him know he was proud of him.
"How'd you get her to sleep in?" Jack asked.
"I turned off her alarm." They all shoot Tom a look. "What? If I had asked she would have just said no." They all laughed, knowing he was right.
"You two lovebirds enjoy catching up with each other last night?" Julie teased with a wiggle of her eyebrows. Causing Tom to burst out laughing.
"Julie!" Elizabeth squealed. "Why would you asked something like that?"
"Because if I was married and hadn't seen Tom in months I would've jumped him right away! Beside you two were staring longingly at each other all day yesterday so I can just imagine the fire you had once you were finally alone."
"Good grief Jules," Tom laughed.
"Good grief is right…" Jack laughed. "But if you really want to know Jules, it was totally awesome."
"Jack!" Elizabeth and Tom both yelled.
"What? It was. Twice." The four laughed harder than they had a while. Enjoying being together again.
Jack and Elizabeth stepped in to help prepare brunch and set it on the table. Jack asked Tom about school and plans for after graduation. Elizabeth and Julie smiled, happy that the brothers were able to have some time together.
Charlotte was awake and standing in the doorway to the kitchen, unknown to her family. She teared up watching them. Feeling blessed at the site before her. "Thank you Lord, for all my blessings. Be with us all as we say goodbye to Doug today," she prayed quietly.
….
The old brick church was packed to the brink with family and friends of the Burke family. The service was beautifully done. Knowing this would bring up memories, the Thornton men sat on either side of their mom, to be a support for her if needed. Next to them sat the women who loved them. As usual, Charlotte played it strong, but inside, this was hurting more than she'd ever let on. Remembering her Tom, and praying like crazy for Jacks safety.
After much singing, and a wonderful message from their pastor, it was time for the soldiers present to take over. Jack released Elizabeth's hand and calmly walked over to join the four other soldiers as they stood over Burke. Jack saluted in honor to Burke one last time before placing his hand on the flag. Closing his eyes as he pictured his young friend and said goodbye.
He looked up a moment later and nodded to the soldiers. In military fashion they folded the flag that had been draped over him. The full sanctuary sat silent as they watched the scene before them. When they were done, one of the officers handed the flag to Jack with a salute.
Jack walked over towards the Burkes, sitting with tear filled eyes as he kneeled before them.
"This flag is presented on behalf of a grateful nation and the United States Army as a token of appreciation for your loved one's honorable and faithful service." It took all of the focus Jack could muster to get the words out clear and strong. Inside, he was breaking.
Mrs. Burke raised her hand to Jack's cheek, giving him a tearful smile before taking the flag from his hands.
Elizabeth sat in awe of Jack. Overwhelmed by the courage and strength it was taking to do such a difficult task. She couldn't have been prouder of him.
At the reception afterwards, Elizabeth, Julie and Charlotte helped some of the other women from church put out food and drinks. Charlotte made sure the Burke family was tended to personally. Once done, Elizabeth went to find Jack.
Jack polite conversed with the different people who wanted to say hello and catch up briefly. Elizabeth watched with a smile on her face. Her heart swelling with love for him.
"Hey you." She smiled as she hugged him.
Jack groaned. "Just the woman I wanted to see."
….
After everything was all said and done, the family returned home for a quiet evening together. Charlotte pulled out some steaks from the freezer for grilling. Jack had been craving steak, and since he had no opportunity to cook while deployed, he insisted on grilling them himself. He was outside on the back deck when Tom came out holding two beers.
"Beer for my brother," he said handed Jack the drink.
"Thanks." He took a sip. "Ah nice, my favorite."
"I picked some up the after the service. Didn't want you going back off to war without sharing a drink with ya." Tom grinned.
Jack held up his drink. "To Doug."
"To Doug" Tom replied as they toasted their friend. "So while I gotcha out here there's something I want to talk to you about."
"Oh yeah? Something good or something that I'm gonna ask you not to tell Mom?" They laughed.
"It's good. At least I think it is." Jack nodded for Tom to continue. "A few weeks back Mr. Thatcher was down in Florida visiting Julie and doing some business. I asked him out to lunch and well… I asked for permission to ask Julie to marry me."
"Wow." Jack stood, a slacked grin on his face.
"He said yes."
"Of course he did! Tom that's awesome!" Tom waved his hands around trying to quiet his brothers excitement.
"Well I guess you're okay with it." He laughed.
"Of course I am!"
"I have a ring. Mom gave it to me after the holidays. It was great grandma Linda's. I guess she figured if I was spending holidays with the Thatchers I must really like her."
"Well, she was right." Tom nodded. "When are you going to ask her?"
"Not sure. I want to do it soon but I may wait till after graduation. Julie's been saying she's having a hard time focusing on school and not the future. I'm worried if I propose now she'll get so excited planning a wedding and our future, she'll have an even harder time focusing on the rest of the semester. I just don't want to complicate it."
"I get that. It's good you're looking out for her."
"Well she's everything to me." Tom beamed. "Hey look don't tell Elizabeth alright? I wanna keep it a secret for now."
"I'll do my best."
"Works for me. Hey, any advice for marrying a Thatcher women?"
Jack laughed at his brother's question. "Well if she's anything like Elizabeth she'll hog the covers, her cooking will be interesting but will get better in time and she'll always been pretty stubborn." Tom laughed. "But she'll love you with everything she's got and I guarantee you it will be the best decision you'll ever make."
"Sounds like a good life to me. Thanks bro."
"Anytime." They clinked their glasses together again as Jack flipped the steaks. "Hey, you said Mom gave you the ring over the holidays?"
"Yeah, New Years. Why?" Jack laughed, leaving Tom wondering.
"That's when Dad give me Grandma Kathy's." The brothers smiled.
"Hello? Anyone out here?" A man's voice boomed from the doorway to the deck.
"William! Grace!" Jack dropped the barbecue tongs and rushed to embrace his in-laws. "What on earth are you guys doing here?"
"You didn't think we'd pass up an opportunity to see you? Even for just a bit." Grace smiled.
"Thank you. Both of you. This means a lot."
Grace lifted her hand to Jack's cheek. "It's so good to see you. You're okay?" She looked him over, wanting to see for herself.
"Yes, I'm okay." Jack smiled.
William stayed out for a while with the boys, enjoying time with his son-in-law and future son-in-law. Having raised all girls, he loved any moment to be with them.
"Mr. Thatcher, I told Jack about our lunch a few weeks back."
"Ah yes. That was a good lunch." He smiled, then checking to make sure no one else was around before continuing. "Look out though, Tom. Julie's always been my most spirited and she's had big dreams for her wedding for a long time."
"Oh boy," Tom said with a small grimace causing them to laugh.
Inside Grace helped Charlotte and her daughters with the rest of dinner. They made baked potatoes, green beans and for dessert, all of Jack's favorite pies. Wanting to give him a proper send off.
Elizabeth was pulling the last pie out of the oven when her mom approached her.
"Beth dear, how are you doing? Really?"
She took a deep breath. "I'm ok. For now, Jack is here in front of me. I can't asked for more. Tomorrow on the other hand…"
"I know." She gave her daughter a reassuring hug. "Well we'll just have to keep praying for the quick return of his unit!"
"From your lips to God's ears."
The big family had a wonderful time together. For Jack, as much as he wanted to be alone with his wife, he soaked up the opportunity to be together with his family. With everything that had happened in the last week, he knew just how important moments like this were.
After cleaning up from dinner, the family retired to the living room for dessert and hot chocolate. Charlotte enjoyed the opportunity to break out old family pictures and embarrass her boys. The Thatchers may have not had pictures, but they had stories of their own to share.
Elizabeth sat curled up at Jack's side, barely listening to the stories being shared. She was too busy taking in the feeling of being in Jack's arms again. Wanting to bottle it up for the next few months he'd likely be away.
"I love you." He moved his lips close to her ear, whispering so only she could hear. It sent a thrill through her. She absolutely loved this man.
"Do you boys remember that time your dad and I went out for the evening, leaving Jack in charge for the first time?"
"Oh dear…" Jack grumbled.
"Jack, what is it?" Elizabeth asked as the Thornton family laughed.
"It wasn't just my fault." Jack laughed, covering his face.
"No, it was both of us and it was hilarious," Tom added. The Thatcher family listened as Tom began to explain. "See, Mom and Dad went out for a date night, leaving Jack in charge. That night we had a huge wind storm. It knocked out the power, phones and left tree branches everywhere."
"It was kind of creepy around here," Jack added. "So to pass the time we told ghost stories. It was fun and all until…"
"We kept hearing these noises around the house, like scratches on the outer walls and windows." Tom interrupted using his best creepy voice. "So naturally, we set boobytraps for the monsters and ghost that we were clearly hearing."
"Or burglars, like I thought." Jack added.
"Oh no! Like on home alone?" Elizabeth laughed.
"Exactly!" The brothers said together.
"Needless to say, when Thomas and I came home that night to find our house dark and quiet we were completely surprised. It was far too early for the boys to be asleep!"
"What happened then?" William asked. He and Grace fully engrossed in the story.
"Well we had barricaded the doors so Dad climbed in through the window over there." Jack pointed. "Then he slipped on the dish soap slip'n'slide we made out of a shower curtain and well…"
"Dad got a little banged up." Tom shrugged.
"If by banged up you mean he tripped over a desk chair and broke his leg." Charlotte said giving her boys a look. Laughter rang through the house, it was a beautiful sound. She smiled as she looked at the old family picture on the mantel. One of Charlotte, Thomas and her boys.
"Well, I think I need some more hot chocolate after that story." Charlotte said bringing herself back to the present.
"Me to!" Julie and Tom both called out.
Elizabeth offered to get more. Placing all the mugs back on the tray and carrying it into the kitchen. Jack sat there watching his wife as she walked away, the sight of her stirring something inside of him. "One more night." He thought. "I need to make the most of this."
"I'll help her." Jack said as he sprung off the couch and followed her into the kitchen.
"This was a wonderful idea." He thought to himself as he watched her pull her hair to one side, exposing her neck as she refilled the mugs. Now away from the prying eyes of family, Jack slowly sneaked up behind her. Wrapping his arms around her waist to hold her tightly to his chest.
"Jack what are you doing?" She giggled.
"What does it look like?" He said, kissing and nibbling at her ear and neck.
"It looks… like… you're trying to… start something." She could barely get the words out. His wonderful touches made her squirm in his arms.
"Well then Mrs. Thornton." Jack said turning her around to face him. "You'd be right." His voice low. He covered her lips with his. Giving her a quick yet deep and passionate kiss before taking the tray from the counter and returning to the living room.
"That man…" she whispered, letting out a forcefully breath of air to try and compose herself.
Jack turned back briefly and wiggled his eyebrows at her as they went back to the living room to join the family.
For the next hour, they all sat by the wood stove sharing more stories of the past and making plans for Julie and Tom's graduation in a few month. Both families planning on being in attendance for as much as possible for the two soon to be graduates.
Jack sat there hearing nothing, his mind focus on one thing. Elizabeth. Elizabeth was curled up at his side, tracing a figure eight over Jack's thigh, causing him to lose all focus.
"She has no idea what a simple touch from her does to me," he thought to himself. He looked over at her sitting there, absentmindedly running her fingers over his leg as she bit her lower lip. "I need to be alone with her…soon"
What Jack didn't realize is she was lost in her own mind thinking of him as a direct result of their stolen kiss from the kitchen. "He has absolutely no idea the effect he has on me." She thought. "One kiss, even a simple normal kiss gets me all hot and bothered but that… holy buckets. How is he so good at that!"
Julie sat across the room on the couch grinning at her sister and brother-in-law. No one else seemed to notice but she could tell how tightly wound up they had become. She wondered just what happened in the kitchen. She let out a big yawn, faking exhaustion to see if she could move help Jack and Elizabeth out. As much fun as they were having with the family, she knew where they really wanted to be.
"Man, I'm tired. What about you guys?" She looked around the room.
"I could stand to sleep a little." William said. "What time's your flight tomorrow Jack?"
"What? Oh um, I have to be at the airport by 9am." Jack manage to answer. He'd been sitting there trying to figure out how to make a exit with Elizabeth.
"Yikes, that's earlier than I thought." Tom said with a frown.
"You have a big day ahead of you." Elizabeth said squeezing his thigh. "Maybe we should get some rest."
"Probably right." Jack said looking around the room as they excused themselves for the night.
They tried to act as normal and calm as possible as they left, picking up the pace as they exited the house toward the garage. Jack ran up behind Elizabeth, leaning her against the garage wall in the stairwell.
"I love you," he whispered before taking possession of her mouth. Their tongues waltzed, turning the small fire in her into an inferno. Elizabeth put her hands on his chest to push him away just enough to look into his deep brown eyes.
"I love you too." Reaching down she took his hand her hers, bringing it to her lips. She slowly leaving a trail of kisses along his knuckles, lingering longer at the one holding the symbol of their love.
"Elizabeth." He breathed deep, eyes closed as he soaked up the feeling of her lips as they rested on his hand.
With their fingers still woven with together, he pulled her inside the room and held her closer to his body. Feeling her soft form molding to fit with his. He could feel her hot breath against his face. Noses touching tip to tip. He moved his face up, allowing the tip of his nose to run along up toward her forehead before resting his lips there.
They seemed to be moving in slow motion, being intentional with each and every move. All the while their insides are screaming to quench the hunger they felt inside. Elizabeth swallowed hard before speaking.
"One more night." she whispered turning towards the bed.
"I know," he whispered back, pulling her back against his chest. Still facing away from him, he wrapped his arms around her waist. "I don't want to leave you." His lips lightly kissed her neck just below the ear.
"I know." She laid her head back against his shoulder as he continued to shower her with his affections. His hands slipping under her shirt, moving slowly over her midsection.
"Forgive me?" he said pulling away slightly, resting his chin on her shoulder.
Elizabeth turned her body to face him. Her voice full of love and desire. "Jack Thornton, you listen to me. I love you. There is nothing to forgive."
Jack could see the truth in her words as she gazed lovingly at him. He took her face in her hands pulling her in for a kiss so passionate that her knees buckled underneath her. He caught her up in his arms and carried her to the bed. He wanted to promise her everything would be alright. That he'd be home soon and they could move forward with their life together. But the future was unknown. They knew that better than ever now. He swore to himself to make this night together the best he could. Showing her all the love he carried for her within his heart.
His shirt, her shirt, and everything else was discarding in record time. Inside they felt the need to move quickly, to connect as one as soon as humanly possible. But in Jack's heart, he wanted to take his time with her. Much like before. He slowly lowered her back onto the bed, hovering over her, taking in all her features. She let out a loud moan as he kissed his way to each of his favorite freckles. First the one resting on her cheek bone, then down to her bare shoulder, and lastly making his way to his favorite just below that, in the place that was for only him to see.
"I love being your wife." She gasped.
He grinned back. "And I love being your husband."