Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight; I just make Steph Meyer's characters a little emo. I also don't own Starbucks. If I did, I'd be a lot richer and a lot less jaded.

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Chapter edited by NO ONE atm. LOL I was too eager to post. Will be edited and reposted later

More at the bottom!

Someone falls to pieces
Someone kills the pain
Spinning in the silence
She finally drifts away
Someone gets excited
In a chapel yard
And catches a bouquet
Another lays a dozen
White roses on a grave
Yeah...

And to be yourself is all that you can do
Hey...
To be yourself is all that you can do

Someone finds salvation in everyone
Another only pain
Someone tries to hide himself
Down inside himself he prays
Someone swears his true love
Until the end of time
Another runs away
Separate or united
Healthy or insane

Be Yourself - Audioslave

"So how did she feel after this little encounter?"

I was being grilled by Doc McDouche again. The visits were much farther apart now, mostly for my own peace of mind. Somehow the topic came to the night on the couch with Bella two months ago. I wasn't sure how he did it, but dude sure had a way of pulling stories out of me.

"Well," I laughed lightly, "at first it was mostly awe," I nodded mostly to myself. "Afterwards, she started to feel like we had done something wrong - let me rephrase that- she felt as though she had done something wrong." I shook my head as I thought back to our conversation on the couch that led to the bedroom after what was probably one of the best moments of my life.

"Say something, Bella," I said as I pulled her face up to look in my eyes. I did not like what I was seeing there. There was a whole lot of shame and even a couple of tears. "Bella, baby…don't cry. Why are you crying?"

She finally looked me straight in the eye and I felt like I had been stabbed. Straight in the fucking heart.

"That's when it became not the best moment of my life, doc. I felt like I betrayed her trust and it hurt so fucking bad. Sorry, pardon my language," he just nodded and motioned for me to continue. "You see, she'd never…" It felt awkward talking to him about this, but I had learned that getting anything and everything possible out made life so much easier. "There was never a time when she had actually been…" I motioned with my hand feeling way too uncomfortable to tell the evil doc that I had gotten my girlfriend sexually aroused for the first time in her life and neither of us knew quite what to do with her reaction.

"I just never…" she started then looked away again."I mean, I'd read about it and…" she couldn't even finish a sentence. I waited for her to piece together her thoughts like I always did. Patiently waited for her beautiful mind to catch up with what had actually happened. Moving a strand of hair away from her face I sat and waited as her breathing steadily slowed to a normal pace.

I wished at that moment that I could read her mind. I could see in her eyes her meticulous thought process and wanted to know exactly where it was taking her-until she burst out into tears.

The doctor nodded his head and wrote his notes down on his stupid fucking legal pad. This shit wasn't even about me so I couldn't figure out why it was important here.

"What did you do after that? How did that make you feel?" he asked, and I stared at him incredulously.

Douche.

We lay up in bed, Bella curled up in my cocoon and I just let her cry. At this point, I still had no idea whether it was happy tears, sad, mad, confused, what. I just let her cry. When I had been carrying up the stairs bridal style to my bed, she kept blubbering how sorry she was and that she didn't want me to go, and she couldn't give it back. Whatever the fuck that meant.

So we just curled up together, she cried and I comforted. When she finally spoke I was floored by what I heard.

"That was both the best and worst moment of my life so far…" she whispered.

"Why the worst?" I asked her.

"I had no control. It was the best feeling…better than I had ever imagined, but I couldn't control it. I didn't know where to put myself. I didn't even- I can't give it back to you, and that bothers me." She finally looked up at me then, and I knew what she had been thinking the entire time. She thought that I had given her that asking for something in return. And the fact that she just couldn't do it, she thought I would leave her for it. "Thank you so much, Edward."

"And what did you have to say to that?"

"I reassured her. I promised her that it wasn't the case at all. It took me ages, but I finally convinced her," I smiled at the thought.

"Have you done anything similar since then?"

I nodded but gave him no further explanation. It wasn't for him to know.

"How about the other relationships? Her 'family', your family, how are they all presently?" He asked and rested his chin on his raised clasped hands in front of him.

"Good, everyone is good," The Doc looked at me skeptically and I smirked. The asshole didn't believe a word I said. I suppose that was my entire fault though. "No really, I mean it. My family and I were close. Very close. It didn't take long for us to work out our problems. Jasper, he just wanted what was best for Bella, of course. I like him. He's a little crazy, but aren't we all?"

"I'd prefer if you didn't use the term crazy in my presence or otherwise."

He would say that. I remembered when he basically had to beat it into my skull that I wasn't a batshit nuts motherfucker. So I nodded and laughed lightly. Whatever made the Doc's day, right?

"What about Rosalie? She was the most difficult, was she not?"

I let out a breath of air and ran my hand through my hair thinking about the odyssey that was Rosalie Hale. I wasn't so sure that if she hadn't fallen head over heels for my brother we ever would have seen eye to eye.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of your company, Casanova?" Rosalie said as she eyed me from the doorway. I decided to pay her a visit and hash shit out. It's the only way it would work. I did chuckle at her nickname for me though.

"Just wanted to talk," I told her and nodded with my hands behind my back. "I want you to know everything, and I need to know why you can't let us be happy. Can we just do this? Talk and get it out of the way?"

Her hard blue eyes just stared at me for a moment before she opened her door wider and motioned for me to step through the door. I took off my shoes and waited for her to point me in a direction, unless we were going to do this in her doorway…

"I have coffee on, if you want some," she said uncharacteristically. She never offered anything. She was like a fucking piñata that you had to beat everything out of. Not that I would beat her. Though, I wondered if I could refuse if Bella asked me to. I nodded and she motioned toward the living room where I sat on her couch.

Looking around, I saw pictures of her, Jasper and Bella scattered around, as well as some older people that I assumed were her parents. I hadn't had the pleasure of meeting them yet. The one thing I noticed in a lot of the pictures was the protective eye she had on either Jasper or Bella and the look of guilt on either of their faces. Hidden well by a smile or a goofy face, but it was there nonetheless.

"She means too much to me, you know?" I heard Rosalie say behind me and I turned to look at her. She was staring at one photo in particular so I picked it up to examine it. "That was taken the year after her mother died. We went out to the movies, and Bella was so sad…" I looked closely and I could see a single tear falling from one of her eyes. "I was so stupid, Edward. I was angry that she was moping and bitchy. I wanted her to live a little, to just be normal for one goddamn day." Rosalie sat on the couch and looked away from me. "I yelled at her," she whispered, and I could hear the frown in her voice. "I had forgotten the importance of the date. I was so angry that it was her birthday and she couldn't just buck the fuck up. I didn't remember what that day actually meant to her."

I nodded and let her continue. I was seeing an entirely new side of the shrew and it was intriguing.

"She's such a selfless fucking person, you know? Nothing is for her," I smiled because I knew this to be true. "So do you know what she did after I yelled at her, Edward? She fucking apologized." I turned then to face her full on. "Bella is so goddamn easy to take advantage of and it scares me. You scared me. You could demolish her without even trying. All you would have to do was say the wrong thing."

She turned away from her and I let her have her moment. I thought about what she was saying and it all made perfect sense. She had once hurt Bella herself, and Bella had taken the blame. She didn't want the same thing to happen because of me.

"Rosalie, I-"

"Wait. Just listen to me, okay? Did she tell you about school?" I nodded. "She told you about the fight? Did she tell you that after we had left school and done our homeschooling, that she saw him downtown one day?" I shook my head and the hair on the back of my neck stood straight up. "She did. He saw her while she and Jasper were out eating. He told her that she had obviously never listened to him about eating because she was still a fat fuck that nobody would want." I was shaking my head as she was speaking. It was too much to deal with. "He told her…" she paused and took a breath, "that he would take her out back and show her what she was missing…Thank fuck Jasper was there and he had the sense to drag her the fuck away from there, Edward."

I sat in shock. There were no words. What the fuck do you say or do when you were just told the love of your life has had more shit laid on her than you ever thought possible for one human being. Looking back up to Rosalie, I finally noticed the tears.

"You have to understand that I was hard wired to hate you. From the very moment she came home that day of the accident'" she glared at me menacingly then and I actually backed off a bit. She was back to scaring the proverbial shit out of me. "I wanted you out of her life. She was too fucking happy, Edward. She laid her life out as if you were there to live it with her. She said she could feel you all the time, and I was pissed. I was so fucking angry, Edward, because I knew that there was no way in hell that she would come out of this unscarred."

"Rosalie," I said and she looked up at me, allowing me to finally have my say. ""was she happy? After the accident, I mean?" She cocked her head as she thought about it.

"She has never really been a happy person, you have to understand that. But after that day," she looked at me pointedly, "she started getting help for things. It was so strange. She used to be so small, Edward. She didn't eat. I think it was maybe…two weeks after that day, she decided she needed help for that. That she couldn't do it alone. At some point she stopped driving that fucker of a truck." She shook her head and looked down. When she looked up there was fear in her eyes. Fear that I would think she was crazy? Or maybe that Bella was crazy. I didn't know. "She said that you would want her to be safe. She knew you were there. We had all thought you died and were like, haunting her or something."

"I want you to know, right now, that I have no intentions of hurting her…ever. Rose, I get it now. I understand why you're so protective of her, but she's an adult. She may not think quite the way others do, and maybe she needs a little bit of help along the way, but I will be there." She sat contemplating me and I felt nervous under her stare. "What, what is it?"

"You called me Rose," she said quietly. "You never call me that."

I nodded at her and shrugged.

"I accept it now, I guess," I told her and she smiled at me. It wasn't forced, it wasn't scary…it wasn't her. And then she leaned across the couch and hugged me, whispering in my ear.

"Thank you for making her happy. I almost don't even feel like hitting you right now." I smiled at the déjà vu and hugged her back.

Everything was going to be okay.

"And just like that things were okay?" Head Doc McGee asked me and I laughed.

"Will everything ever really be okay?" I countered with and he laughed too.

We were in the meadow we first went to the day we first met two weeks after that doctor's appointment. We tried to come out here as often as possible, as, at least to me, it felt like the rest of the world melted away when we were here.

I felt ridiculous. I was going to ask her to move in with me. Two and a half months after officially meeting, and I was officially fucked. I hardly functioned if she wasn't around, and just wanted it to be a guarantee to wake up with her.

I was on my side facing Bella who was on her back, tracing the shape of the clouds with her fingers as they moved. I watched. I watched how happy she actually was now and my heart nearly fucking burst open. She dropped her arm to her side and lolled her head to smile at me.

"What are you thinking?" I asked her and she just shrugged. "Do you want to know what I was thinking?" She laughed and nodded. "I was thinking…" I said as I moved my body to half hover over hers. "About how much I adore you," she smiled and she blushed and I tried not to chicken out. "And also, about how much I love you and waking up with you," I cocked an eyebrow at her.

"I like waking up with you too, "she admitted and eyed me suspiciously. I kissed her chastely and then continued.

"I was thinking about how I want you to move in with me, Bella…"

There. I'd gotten it out. I was expecting rejection right off the bat. Its how we did things. Bella looked back up at the clouds and simply raised her hand to trace the shapes once more. Not exactly the reaction I was expecting.

I furrowed my brows and studied her features as I moved from my perch almost on top of her back to beside her where I could watch her. She was so gorgeous with her hair all fanned out underneath her on the grass.

"Bella?"

"I'm working up the nerve to say it."

"Say what?" I asked her confused, and then really fucking terrified she was going to say no.

"Yes," she said as she dropped her arm and rolled over onto her side to face me.

I kissed her soundly and pulled her up to sitting, her between my legs and my arms wrapped around her.

"You're beautiful, you know. Precious little thing," I sang tunelessly to my pretty girl.

She looked so perfect at the moment, out in a meadow, sun shining on her, and her hair blowing around us. I liked to write cute little songs about her in my head and sing them to her. It made her blush every time.

"Marry me."

"Mmmmm…no."

It wasn't like I expected a yes. I couldn't believe she had even agreed to move in with me so quickly.

"Ya, do it. Come on, it'll be fun. Jasper can even be your Maid of Honor."

That got a little laugh out of her as I kissed her sweetly on the mouth and ran a hand through her hair.

"Marry me."

"You're pushy."

"You love me."

"I do…love you." She said and then giggled. She knew the first part of her sentence would get to me. I couldn't wait to hear those words come out of her mouth. Every once in awhile she dropped those three words on me with something in between them or out of order. I couldn't wait to hear them the way they were meant to be said. I love you.

"I do…too. See, was that so hard?" I teased.

"No. Kiss me again," she demanded.

So I kissed her again.

"Bella, do you really mean it? You'll move in with me?"

"I really mean it," She turned to look at me and laced her fingers through mine. I don't like to be alone now. I'm not that girl anymore."

Chapter Notes: The story is starting to wind down. Won't be too much longer. *sadface* But I have a cool announcement! I'm going to do a COUNTER story of FIY, completely in BPOV, as her story is completely different! Let me know your thoughts on that.

Another thing. I made it as a top 10 finalist in the Simply The Best O/S contest hosted by www . twificone . com Take out the spaces, visit the site and vote for The Boy and The Muse, if you so choose to!

*LICKS*