Who can take a sunriiiiise! Sprinkle it with dewwww? Cover it with chocolate and a miracle too! The candymaaaan! The candyman can!
DOOR TO DOOR
Nick held his hand aloft at President Man's latest press conference as cameras flashed and took pictures. "Ooh, ooh!" He shouted, waving it around.
"Yes, you!" President Man asked.
"Sir, you argue that a fence should be constructed along the WHOLE US-Mexican border to stop illegal immigrants?" Nick asked.
"Indeed." President Man said, nodding.
"Well what would happen if one of them tried to climb over?" Nick asked, tilting his head to the side.
"We'll electrify it. Then they won't touch it." President Man said, shrugging.
"But what if they DO touch it?" Nick asked.
"That's their choice." President Man remarked. He obviously didn't care if they died.
"What if a mother with a baby strapped to her back tries climbing?" Nick wanted to know.
"It would be the mother's choice to kill the child then." President Man said simply.
NOW he had the bee-tard! "So you're in favor of abortion!" Nick remarked happily.
Dead silence all through the room as President Man's face fell.
"………er…"
THE NEXT DAY…IN SCHOOL…
Ms. Bitters was discussing "Civics". Mongo Slunchy was hanging from the ceiling, suspended by a rope that was tied around his waist. He was hovering atop a building made of playing cards that were atop Dib's desk.
"There, add a card to represent the overworked educational system!" Ms. Bitters ordered. He did so. "NOW add the dead weight of students like YOU." She added.
Well, he placed a stack of playing cards atop this house of cards.
"So, you can see, children, that our whole society's nothing more than a perilous house of cards." Ms. Bitters told them.
FWOMP. They fell apart on Dib's desk. "The whole system's destined to collapse under its own weight! And all you "optimists" will get the "honor" of being the first to be laughed at."
"You old crone! I'll be GIGGLING at your funeral in less than a year!" Nick shouted from down the hall. Ms. Bitters promptly frowned.
KRA-CRACK! Dib's desk broke apart. Ms. Bitters frowned AGAIN. "DIB! The warranty on your desk has worn out. Get a replacement from the pile."
"Yes, ma'am." Dib sighed. He got out of his chair, heading towards a huge pile of assorted garbage at the back of the class. But none of the OTHER classmates had desks either, they had stuff like logs, tires, crates, a PIG…
"Well children... As you know, the desk budget for this year has run out, but the school board has given you a chance to lessen your misery!" She told them as Dib replaced his desk with a trashcan. A rat jumped out of it and clung to his face, squealing.
"GET OFF ME!" Dib shouted, grabbing it's tail and firing it out the window.
"LIGHTS!" Ms. Bitters snapped. The lights all went out and the chalk board opened up to reveal a view screen behind it. 1…2…3…BOOP! Now it showed the image of some guy in a dog mask with a clown costume holding up a can of Poop soda. That man was standing in a vandalized alley with various graffiti on the walls and had golden bling around his neck that read "Pain Poop". For a moment the camera accidentally zoomed back so you could see the studio the whole film was being filmed in. Chucking the can of Poop he'd been holding, he crossed his arms and faced the camera as rap music began playing.
"Word up, kids! This is Poop Dawg! The Poop Cola gangsta clown with a little fund raiser! Do you wanna go magnet with da monies?" He asked.
Hoggo McStink blinked. "Whuzzat mean?"
"HMMM…MONEY?" Melvin asked.
Poop Dawg lifted up a box that was labeled "Poop Cola Candy".
"If you wanna be a real gold digger, then jack this box of Poop Cola Candy! It's the great taste of Poop Cola wrapped in a layer of chocolate madness!" Poop Dawg told them. "Every bar you sell earns money for your skool, but what's in it for you? Prizes, prizes, pra-zises!"
With each mention of the word "prizes" little registers went off in the student's heads.
"Sell 100 bars and you win a-"
Then a dubbed-over voice spoke up.
"Box of adhesive medical strips."
Zim frowned in a questioning manner. MEDICAL STRIPS?! Did he mean BAND-AIDS? Who cares about-"
"Sell 1,000 you when a crash helmet!" Poop Dawg said, holding up a helmet.
"OOOOH!" Said all the students.
"Sell 10,000 you when an electro scooter!" Poop Dawg went on, holding up said scooter as it gleamed.
"AHHHHH…" The students gasped.
"At 500,000, ya get a hover craft…"
"WOW!"
"Piggity-piggity-PLUS the helmet, plus a box of-"
That dubbed over voice repeated itself. "Adhesive medical strips".
"WOAH! WOW! COOOOOL!" All of the kids began to say, chattering amongst themselves.
Zim, however, rolled his eyes and looked away. "Pfft. Garbage! That hover craft is a joke of engineering and that helmet would never protect your brain from lasers!"
"What about the scooter?" Keef asked.
"…I don't NEED a scooter." Zim remarked coldly.
Poop Dawg went on, stretching out his arms. "And if you all think you's all something wit da top sellies, and, wit…"
He lowered his head, groaning. "I can't do this sh-"
"CUT!" A director yelled.
SCHA-WHOOP! The film stopped and started again at a fresh take as Poop Dawg went on. "The top prize is something your bu- bu- bu- brain won't believe!"
Zim "pffted" again. "Nonsense."
"It's so amazing, it's a secret!" Poop Dawg said.
BOING! Eyes popping, Zim ran to the front of the class and up onto Ms. Bitters desk the moment that word left Poop Dawg's lips. "Secret!?!" He gasped out, pointing accusingly at the screen. "What are you hiding, dog man!?! Tell me! Tell me!"
"Good luck my fellow Poop slices!" Poop Dawg wished them. "Keep it REEEELZ!"
Then the video cut to the image of a man choking. "Warning, candy made entirely of sawdust."
Zim blinked, reeling back slightly. "Secret? Yes of course, but what could it be? What!?! What!?! I must posses this secret prize!!" He swore, clenching his fists.
Then he noticed Ms. Bitters was wrapped around him, growling angrily and DROOLING too. He gulped and nervously shrunk down slightly.
"Ms. Bitters, why don't they take the money they spent on candy and prizes and use it to buy desks?" Dib asked as Ms. Bitters held Zim up in the air by his shirt collar, making him squirm uselessly. He was goin' in the leopard cage for the rest of the school day!
"That answer wasn't in the video." She remarked.
…
…
…
…ah. The sun was rising as morning found the residential area of the city. Cars drove idly by, cats licked themselves, old people planted flowers in their garden, Frank Conniff, who had been brought back to life by the long-suffering Nick, was drinking a cup of coffee, looking up at the sunrise and smiling.
"Ah, a glorious day." He remarked. He lifted his cup to his next door neighbor, who was watering the lawn with his garden hose and the two smiled, with his neighbor waving back. "Mornin', Frank!"
Nick was speaking with White as he biked alongside White, who was "riding dirty" in his car. "So Kelsey thinks that a boyfriend and girlfriend shouldn't trust each other. I don't get it."
"Well, you know what they say…lying is the natural form of communication between couples." White laughed. He saw Nick wasn't laughing and rolled his eyes. "Right. You're ridiculously honest. Of course. Well you could just-what's with that look?"
Nick's eyes had gone wide with horror. "Do you hear that dramatic music?"
"…oh NO…" White gasped, eyes widening as well.
Arms loaded with poop candy…running all as one…coming closer…CLOSER…
"So…" Principal Prickley adjusted his tie, trying to get a nice young lovely's phone number. "What's your…wait…" He stiffened. "Do you feel that?"
The young woman nodded. "Yes, I…I DO…is the ground shaking?"
Their necks cricked as they turned around, and their eyes widened at the sight. They gasped…
"FUNDRAISING CHILDREEEEEEEEEN!" Prickley screamed.
"AAAAAA!!!"
"HEAD FOR THE HIIIIILLS!"
It was CARNAGE. Lasers blasted through the sky. People drove off as fast as they could but were too late, here they came! Diving into your pockets!
"Pleasure doing business with you, sir!"
"NOOOOO!"
Kicking down the doors!
KNOCK-KNOCK!
"WE DON'T WANT ANY!!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WE DON'T WANT ANY!"
Hide your lawn mowers! Hide your hoses! Hide yourselves! SAVE YOURSELVES!!!
"PHEW." White said, breathing a sigh of relief as he pulled his car into his now-closed garage. "I LOST 'em."
Gaz popped up in the backseat, smirking.
"Helloooooo."
White's eyes bugged out.
(Camera pans to just outside the garage's closed door.)
"……NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…"
Meanwhile, Zim and GIR, both disguised, were walking down the sidewalk. GIR balanced a box of Poop Cola candy on his head, wearing a t-shirt and a big fake human head made out of papier-mâché while Zim carried a smaller box and told GIR about his day.
And TOLD him. And TOLD him. He'd been telling him the same story over and over!
"Then that horrible man-dog hybrid taunted us by not revealing the secret prize!" Zim complained. "It must be something of unimaginable power, GIR!"
They walked by Dib, who was leaning against a lamp post, sipping Poop cola from a juice container and sweating because it was hot out. He noticed Zim and GIR and grinned, calling out.
"Hey Zim! I sold a whole box at my dad's lab! Beat that!" He boasted.
Zim turned his head, frowning. "So, you're trying to beat me to the prize, is that it?"
He pulled out a bar and examined it. "Just more proof of its strategic value."
Dib ran up to him, snatching it from his hands and smirking. "The only reason I'm selling this dirt in a wrapper is to watch you fail at something else, Zim!" Dib told him in a cruel tone, laughing.
Zim glanced sadly down at the candy bars as Dib sipped his drink, then whacked the bottom of the box that Zim was carrying and made all the candy bars fly out. THEN, to add insult to injury, he squired the drink from his container in Zim's face and walked away, laughing to himself…but NOT before he laughed at GIR's ridiculous disguise.
Kneeling down to pick up the candy bars that were on the ground, Zim frowned angrily. "HMPH. DIB! I can sell these horrible candies better than any human!" He mumbled "Just he watch and wait!"
"Why iiiiis his head so big!?! Whyyyyy's his head so big!?!" GIR asked.
"MY HEAD IS NOT BIIIIIIIG!!!" Dib screamed from down the street.
Zim rolled his eyes. "Just follow my lead, GIR."
Heading to the front door of a nearby house, Zim knocked on the door. The old woman who OWNED the house peeked through the peep hole of the door as Zim held a bar of Poop Cola Candy into view.
"Better get mah baseball bat." She said, grabbing a nearby baseball bat and opening up the inner screen door, holding the baseball bat behind her back with one hand.
"Please ma'am, if you don't buy my candy, my little brother will go insane." Zim lied convincingly, gesturing at GIR, who was break-dancing on top of his box of Poop Cola candy. The old lady stepped outside and watched as GIR then got on his head and started to spin his body around wildly until-
POP! WOOSH! GIR's body separated from his head, flying up into the sky. The old woman screamed in horror. "Oh good HEAVENS, he's worse than I thought! Please, of course I'll buy some candy!" She insisted, reaching into her pocket and giving Zim some money in exchange for a candy bar. Then she actually TASTED it.
"…hmm….MMM!"
So far so-
"HAAAACK!"
Okay, scratch that. She had put most of the candy bar into her mouth but was now hacking madly. She began coughing up sawdust like mad, now on her hands and knees.
"Mmm-hmm, that's the sawdust!" Zim said cheerfully as she began hacking out an ENORMOUS pile of sawdust onto the ground.
GIR's body fell back to Earth, then began to wriggle it's arms and legs before sitting up as the "Psycho" theme music began to play. Gasping in horror, the woman raced back inside and slammed the door as GIR tried to bang on it.
Zim sighed, looking at the dollar she'd given him in exchange for the candy.
"Hmmm, she only bought one of these horrible things! You'll just have to try harder, GIR!" He admonished GIR, picking up his body and dropping it in a nearby wheel barrow. He then picked up the other box of Poop Cola candy, complete with GIR'S head, and put THAT in the wheel barrow as the nearby bushes suddenly were set aflame.
WOAH. It was a scorcher today!
…
…
…
… "BAM! Lookit that bacon sizzle!" GIR said, cooking up bacon and eggs on the sidewalk. They were frying right before his eyes because it was so hot out. Zim had gone to another house and was now trying to get a woman to buy his candy, and hopefully she WOULD, once she stopped fanning herself with her own child. She gasped at the sight of the candy bar and dropped the kid, who grabbed the door and slammed it shut.
TWHOMP!
Zim frowned. What the heck had just-
He turned his head and saw…the Spooky Chihuahua! It looked from Zim, then to GIR, then opened it's mouth and an egg popped out.
Zim and GIR, who were now both holding boxes of candy looked at each other, then tossed the boxes of candy into the air as the egg began to crack and ran SCREAMING out of the neighborhood!
"RUN, MASTAH! USE YOUR SKINNY LIDDLE LEGS!"
"I'M GOING AS FAST AS I CAAAAAN!!!"
…
…
…
…while they may have been able to avoid a nasty dog, they COULDN'T avoid what seemed to be certain defeat. Over and over again Zim's efforts to get people to buy his snacks proved futile. While GIR fooled around and made grass angels in the lawns, Zim failed to get another neighbor to buy a snack. ANOTHER man actually turned his hose on Zim, but luckily Zim pretty much covered himself in paste 24/7.
Nobody…NOBODY…Would buy any more candy. And the day was getting hotter and hotter.
…
…
…
…soon Zim sat on the curb, with GIR shoveling candy into his mouth. Occasionally he began coughing and had to take some breaths before he continued to snack away at what they were supposed to be selling.
"I don't understand! Today has been a horrible failure!" Zim sighed, head held in his hands. He looked up and frowned at what his robot was doing. "GIR! Don't eat that filth!" He instructed, grabbing one of the candy bars and holding it up. "We have to sell it! It is the key to the mystery of the prize!"
"The mystery of the prize..." GIR repeated, as liquid poop candy poured from his mouth.
Zim held the candy bar up, then lowered it, looking back into the sun. He groaned in misery. "This miserable Earth sun!" He moaned out, thinking back to his old days in Training when he'd been assigned to go to different "safe" planets that Irkens could freely train on. "Even Sirus Minor didn't orbit such a horrible star!" His tongue lagged out of his mouth as he sweated. "So HOT!"
Then things got WEIRD. The sky began to darken and turn blood red…the lamp poles curled, the buildings got bigger…
You see, what Zim didn't know was that under intense heat like the kind he was experiencing now, his Irken mind would begin to hallucinate. Irkens would see VERY odd things…act VERY strangely…HEAR and SEE things that weren't there…
And their minds could be VERY easily bent in this state, though Zim didn't know this yet. He groaned as his eyes turned slightly yellow and a figure bent down near his ear.
"You will smile at me whenever you hear my voice and think happy thoughts…"
"I will smile whenever I hear your voice and I will think happy thoughts…happy thoughts…" Zim repeated.
She grinned, slinking back. "Happy thouuuughts…"
"Happy thouuughts…happy thoughts…" Zim mumbled.
"Priiiiize." GIR repeated.
"…priiiize…priiiiiiiiiiize…" Zim moaned. "That…that priiiiize…"
"ZIIIIIM! ZIIIIIIIM!"
Zim gaped at the specter that was floating down the street towards him, clad in a cloaked, dark-grey hood. "Eh?"
"I have cooooome for you!" The cloaked being spoke.
"What's this? Who are you!?!"
"I am-" The specter came closer, arms raised.
"Who are you?!?" Zim asked again, pointing at him and making him stop.
The specter raised his arms AGAIN and came forward some more. "I am-"
"WHO ARE YOU?!" Zim shouted once more.
The specter took his hood down to reveal…
"I am Poop Dawg! The gangsta specter of defeat, in effect! And you will never win the mystery prize, FOOL!" He laughed at Zim.
Zim tugged on his robes. "What is this miraculous prize thing!?!"
"I aint tellin', yo!" Poop Dawg told him confidently.
Zim climbed up his robes, now BEGGING. "Does it defy the laws of time and space? Can it alter the minds of sentient beings!?! Is it the key to controlling all mankind? What IS IT?!"
Poop Dawg flung Zim off, and the alien hit a fence that had been behind him, falling to the ground.
"The prize will never be yours, Zim! So say the gangsta specter of defeat!" Poop Dawg forewarned him.
Zim clenched his fist. "I will not give up... Poop Dawg! NEVER!!!"
Poop Dawg just laughed and laughed and-
Well that did it. Zim was ANGRY. He grabbed ahold of GIR and in one fluid motion spun around and CHUCKED it at the specter…and it went right through his robe and…
The specter of defeat faded away to reveal that Zim had flung GIR at DIB, who was grabbing his stomach, GIR lying to his side.
"Geez, Zim! I haven't even really DONE anything to you yet!" He groaned, as GIR made squeaky little noises, walking over to Zim.
"Get out of here Gangsta of defeat! Be gone with you!" Zim hissed. He was STILL hallucinating.
Dib brushed himself off, shaking his head. "Man, Zim! Defeat's made you crazy!"
Zim made the "shoo-shoo" motions with his hands and Dib walked off, and with THAT the mirage ended. Zim blinked as he watched Dib head off, dragging an empty "Poop Candy" box behind him. His eyes went wide as something clicked within his head.
"Of course! That has been my mistake all along!" He realized.
GIR began to slowly eat another candy bar as Zim rubbed his chin. "I've been trying to sell like a miserable HUMAN…" He turned on GIR. "GIR!"
GIR spat the candy out and it knocked off of Zim's face as he went into duty mode, saluting. "Yes, milord!"
"I will use inferior fund raising techniques no longer!" He told GIR.
GIR blinked, returning to normal as he pulled off the disguise he'd been wearing. A balloon with a one-eyed Irken symbol began to inflate from his antenna…where did he GET that thing?
Zim smirked evilly and rubbed his hands together. "Now watch as I unleash the full power of Irken persuasion!" And with that, he yoinked the balloon off of GIR's head.
"YAAAAY! I'm gonna be SICK!" GIR said, hugging Zim and vomiting chocolate onto him.
"…after this I'm taking at least three weeks off from eating chocolate." Zim mumbled, wiping it off as best he could.
…
…
…
…the Grout family lived in a LOUSY house. Grey walls, lousy furniture…all of it fit their nature though. They were uglier than caveman and just as smart. The mister and missus were watching a monster truck rally while two kids in the corner were shoving large amounts of Vienna wieners…and the occasional roach, because they weren't looking…into their mouths. For those of you who don't know what Vienna wieners are, I'll give you their more common name: little cocktail weenies. The kids were in a HUGE pile of them.
BANG! Zim kicked the door open, standing in the doorway and holding a briefcase in one hand and a candy bar in the other.
"Human residents! I've come selling candy!" He announced.
Mr. Grout looked away from the "Acne Blast" ad that was now playing. "Huh?"
Zim stood in front of the TV. "I'm selling candy for your local school, and you will buy some." He told them in a "and that's the way it's going to be" tone. He tossed a candy bar to the couple and Ms. Grout caught it as GIR walked into the room, candy box on head…
PLOP. Okay, now on floor. Zim set the briefcase atop the TV and the top of the case slid open to reveal some odd devices...they looked like eye covers, almost…
"We don't want any government candy!" The mister said.
"Yeah, we don't want none of your government candy!" The missus agreed.
"Yes you DO." Zim insisted. He lifted a remote up, pressing a button and VOOM! The other two devices, the eye-cover-like things, flew around the room and attached themselves to the family member's heads, expanding over them to form the EXACT same kind of helmet that Zim had in his PAK, save for the lack of telescoping eyes.
"Now, see a world in which you do not buy my delicious treats!" Zim told them, pressing a button on his remote. PING! A red knob on each of the helmets lit up, and the Earth was being horribly invaded by none other than the Irken Armada! The Statue of Liberty was sinking! The Twin Towers were on fire again! Irkens stood amongst the rubble of civilization, looking smug as people were yoinked off the streets and thrown into cages.
"All that you know and love lies in ruins!" Zim told them. Mr. Grout got on his knees and vainly tried to cover his eyes, gasping in horror.
"It's…HORRIBLE!" He screamed.
"Yeah, ain't it?" GIR asked cheerfully.
The school building…ruined. GIR, for some reason, was in the virtual reality illusion they were witnessing, holding the balloon from before as he sat atop some debri. In the center of the ruined school, a little blond girl with ponytails sat on a few desks, holding onto a doll.
"I just wanted a skool desk of my own!"
And then a flaming head beast with multiple arms popped into the picture and grabbed her dolly, eating it. "BWAAAAINS!" It cried out. For some disgustingly disturbing reason that we will not explore, it was wearing a dark grey thong which it stuffed the girl into.
…okay, seriously Zim, WHY THE THONG?!
Zim ignored this. "This horrible tragedy can be prevented if, and only if, you surrender your money to me, and BUY MY CANDY!"
"Pweeeease? For the childwen!" The mutant asked.
"WE'LL BUY YOUR CANDY! WE'LL BUY YOUR CANDY!" Mr. Grout sobbed, grabbing all the candy bars that he saw on the ground.
"Just stop this horrifying future from ever happening!"
Zim grinned to himself and punched the air.
"Yes! Witness my victory, Poop beast!" He bragged as he saw Poop Dawg, Gangsta Specter of Defeat outside the window. He laughed and laughed and laughed…
…
…
…
…the tables had turned. ZIM was now the one doing the hose-spraying while a neighbor was forced to watch mutants in thongs. The woman with the baby he'd visited before was VERY eager to prevent a thong-filled future too, and Zim laughed as he held onto her baby for her…
Apparently the kid didn't like that attitude, and he tugged on Zim's tongue. "OW!!!"
Zim was tempted to drop the kid, but he knew better. Karma would come back. HARD.
Even the old woman from before had bought more candy! An entire TRUCK of Poop Cola Candy! And best of all, he'd had a brainstorm and had decided to force other STUDENTS to wear the helmet. Soon all of the children in Ms. Bitters class were selling for HIM, save for Dib, who had no idea what Zim was up to since he'd headed home early, satisfied with his performance for the day.
Zim smiled to himself, flipping through the large wads of cash he had. So much money…soon the mystery prize would be ALL HIS…
…
…
…
"Well, congratulations to DL, who got a crash helmet." Nick said, holding up the crash helmet and walking over to DL, giving it to him. DL smiled and put it on backwards, not realizing he'd done so until people started to giggle.
"And Gaz…" Nick tugged down on a cord and an electro scooter popped down next to Gaz, who snatched it and smirked. Victory was sweet.
"Sadly, the rest of you had to be excluded, due to the fact you used cheap tactics." Nick remarked. "Such as bribery, blackmail and MURDER!"
"AAAA!" The class screamed.
"Sorry. I meant to say "operating lasers in a restricted public area." Nick intoned. "So I'm afraid this means a fry up the nose for all of you."
Nick whistled and the rest of the class lined up in front of Nick's desk as Nick took out several bags of fries. One student walked up first.
"Now then…curly, steak or regular?" He inquired.
In the classroom of Ms. Bitters, things were just as depressing. A jar sat on Ms. Bitters' desk with a few dollars and coins in it and a stack of coins on her desk. The kids of her class had not done well.
"Children, your performance was miserable. Your parents will all receive phone calls instructing them to love you less now." Ms. Bitters told them.
All of the students lowered their heads. "Awwww…" They moaned.
Ms. Bitters went on, approaching Dib. "Ms. Bitters: But, in a shocking display of skool spirit, Dib has come in first for your class by selling 100 candy bars."
Dib grinned. The money had been used to buy everyone new desks. He felt good about this. Everyone benefited from him beating Zim…in more ways than they knew! But one day they'd know. Oh yes, one day they'd see. THEY'D ALL SEE!
"Congratulations, you win…"She held up a box of "Bacon-Scented Boo-Boos" to Dib and spoke in the dubbed-over voice. "Adhesive medical strips."
"First place! Take that, space boy!" Dib cheered. Then he actually LOOKED at Zim's desk. "Hey…where IS Zim?"
Then everything began to shake. Everyone gasped as the door to the classroom BULGED and suddenly…
WOOOOOOSH! A TIDAL WAVE of cash POURED into the classroom, and all of the student's eyes went wide as Zim's head popped out of the cash pile, a fistful of money in each hand. He let go of the cash and stood up, dusting himself off. Dib, naturally, was SPEECHLESS.
"I am here, Dib worm, and I have sold over 1.2 million revolting candy units!" He informed Dib, heading over to Ms. Bitters, who had a package hidden behind her back. "I am prepared to receive the power of the mystery prize!" He told her proudly. "GIVE TO ZIM!" He asked, holding out his hand and grinning happily.
"Well, this has never happened before." She said, holding the small, thin package of the mystery prize in front of her. On the bright side, this meant that the teachers would finally get PAID on payday.
…what are you looking at? I told you before, people…they sure as heck weren't in teaching for the money!
She opened up the package. "Zim, your prize is…" Zim eagerly grinned as she examined a slip of paper that was within the package.
"…your prize is nothing." She told him.
BOINK! The bug's eyes bugged out.
"There is no mystery prize! They just made it up to make kids work harder for no money." She told him.
"Eh?" Zim gaped, one eye twitching.
"Well, as a consolation, here's some tuna." She said, giving him her lunch.
Zim held the can of tuna in the air, then clenched his other fist. "RRRR…Curse you Poop Dawg! Curse yoooou!" He roared.
And with THAT, an ENORMOUS shockwave of dark energy shot out from Zim's feet, rippling through the class and making Dib's, Sara's, Aki's, Rob's, Melvin's, Zita's and Mathew P. Mather III's desks fall over as Chunk shot up into the ceiling and Tae's desk was set on fire.
"Well THAT's never happened before either." Ms. Bitters added.
Somewhere far, far away, Poop Dawg, Gangsta Specter of Defeat, was laughing…
Hoped you liked that. I know I sure did! Remember, I REALLY like seeing reviews. Even anonymous ones if you're nervous about using your real name.