Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! ITZ JANE'S CHAPTER!!!

KONNICHIWA AND KONBANWA or… OHAYO GOZIMASU!! (depending on the time you read this)
Weez-r-BACK! This time, we're going OOC… TO THE EXTREME! TO THE MAX!! Lmao, X-Play… O.o

I'm serious, if the others were random and OOC, than this tops it all.

Ash's note- Um, I was watching the music video for Famous Last Words when suddenly, this totally random idea popped into my head… involving plushies... also, on MCR's Youtube page, THEY CUT OUT THE PART WHERE BOB GETS HIS LEG BURNT!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! But, hey! At least the Teenagers vid on their official website still contains the footage of Gerard getting "shot" by the batons (AKA- Gee getting some fake caps busted in his ass), so all is well.

LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED OLD SCHOOL, YO!!
Whatever the hell THAT means!!
I'M WARNING YOU... this is probably the dumbest, most pointless chappy we've ever written. I'm dead serious. Ash was like, "sooo high off of Coca-Cola!!" when she wrote it... HWHH? Well... idk.

THIS IS A REALLY LONG CHAPTER! O.o I mean, reealllly long.
----------------------

Today we're going to screw ov- I mean, pleasantly humiliate Jane of the Volturi! HUZZAH!
KNOW YOUR STARS... KNOW YOUR STARS... Meep! MEEP MEEP MEEP! MEEP MEEP MEEP! MEEP MEEP MEEEEEEEEEP! Ah... KNOW YOUR RETARDED STAAAAARRRRRRSH!! Jane...
they're taking her to the FUNNY FARM!!
Jane: Eh?!
Jane... will be happy to see those friendly men in their clean white coats...
Jane: I am not crazy!! If anyone's crazy, it's you!!
Jane... is in luurrrveee with My Chemical Romance.
Jane: -cough- N-NUH-UH!
Or really? -Called For holds up cute 'lil Frank plushy... why Frank? Cause everyone was expecting Gerard or Mikey... I should've had Ray instead... ah well-
Jane: -eyes get big and her crimson irises start to shine... ooooh, scaaryyyy- (whispering) must...resist... Frankie!!!!
Bwahaha! You know you want it...
Jane: ...
-Long silence, accompanied by Jane's stares-
Jane: ALRIGHT! I WAANNTT ITTTT!!!! -Snatches Frankie out of Called For's hands-
Called For: -gasp- MINE!! -slaps Jane extra hard-
Jane: -SUPER HISS!!- HOW DARE YOU SLAP ME!!
Called For: Bring it! BIIIIIAATTCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! -punches Jane-
Jane: Why you- -starts chasing the cotton candy being all around the stage-

Ummm...
Director: Psst, Edwaarrdd...
Edward: Yes?
Director: I think we should cut to commercial, what do you think?
Edward: Definitely

WE ARE CURRENTLY SUFFERING FROM TECHNICALITIES AND OTHER FORMS OF ANNOYING DIFFICULTIES!! PLEASE, SIT BACK, TENSE UP, AND BE AGITATED AS WE SHOW YOU LOTS AND LOTS OF BRAIN MELTING COMMERCIALS UNTIL-- Oh. Oh WOW!! WOW, YOU GUYS SHOULD REALLY SEE THIS AMAZING FIGHT!! Ooh... OW! Oh... that HAD to hurt!
WOW!!!

Rosalie (back at the Cullen's mansion... precious TV... no need for da TiVo this time, though): AUGH! I don't even know why I CARE, but COME ONNNNNN!!! SHOW THE FIGHT!
Random person: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!

Alright, ALRIGHT!! Fine, we'll show the retarded fight!!!

Called for-HYAH!
Jane: Ow... ohhhh, my butt... MY ACHING BUUUUUUTTTTTT!!!
Edward: She sat on industrial vampire-super-strength tacks... and yes, you missed the fight.
Rosalie: DANGIT!
Bella: They really make tacks like that?
Edward: Of course!! How do you think we get acupuncture?
Bella: You-can... ACUPUNCTURE!? Really?!
Jasper: Ahhh... NEEEEEDLLEEEESSS!!!
Jane: I hate acupuncture though! It hurts!!

Called For: A-HEM!
-Everyone turns their attention back to called for, who is now eating a Poptart-

TAAAAAAAAAAAARDS! Crrrrrrrazy good! (A/N: It DOES sound like TAAARRRDDSS instead of TAAARRRTTTS!!! Admit it!)
Called For: Wait, REDO!
-REDO!-
Called for: A-HEM!
-Everyone is still looking at Called For... who is now holding a fish-
Called For: OBSERVE! -does the chicken dance... with the fish... so it becomes a new dance... THE FISHKEN DANCE!!!!-
Bella: What
Edward: The
Jacob: Crap!?
Called For: DANGIT! REDO!
-Re: REDO-
Called For: A-hem!
-Still staring-
Called For: As I have now proved my point, I would just like to say that this Frankie is MINE!!! Nooo, no one else can have my Frankie! MIIIIINNNNNNNEEEEEE!!!
Jane: Why do you like Frank so much? Hey, wait a sec... -thinks up the perfect plan to get the Frank from Called For- (in head: YES! Oooh, buuuuurrrrrrn yomamamamamamamama!!! Whatever that means).
W-w- WHAT THE CRAP! BACK ON TASK!!

Jane: NEVER! Hey, Called For!
Called For: Whaddayawant?!
Jane: You're QUEER! OOOOOOOOOOOHHHH GAY BOY!!! YOU LOOOVEEE FRANK!!! YOU'RE EVEN PINK! YOU'RE GAY! YOU'RE GAAY! GAY, GAY, GAY, GAY, GAY, GAY, GAY!!!
Called For: N- n- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! -explodes-
All: GASP!
Ash: H- how COULD you!?! CALLED FOR WAS MY BEST CREATION!!! Idiot.
Jane: BWAHAHAH! I NOW HAVE THE FRANK PLUSHIE AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!!!! -bites plushy-
All: GASP!
All of the sudden... something so incredibly stupid, unrealistic, unbelievable, retarded, and very OOC happens... THE FRANKIE PLUSHIE BECOMES A VAMPIRE PLUSHY!! Why? Umm... PLOT DEVICES! POINTLESS PLOT DEVICES!
Ah crap! Look what you did, Jane! NOW THERE'S A FREAKING VAMPIRE FRANK PLUSHY RUNNING AROUND!!! That's just wonderful! That's not even POSSIBLE!!!
Carlisle: I know! That couldn't possibly happen! Vampires can't turn intimate objects into OTHER vampires, and they can't turn them alive!!

-Frank plushy bites his fellow band member plushies-
Ah crap! Look what you did, Jane and the Frank plushy!! NOW THERE'S FIVE VAMPIRE PLUSHIES RUNNING AROUND!
-Gerard plush leads the way to a random Starbucks cup-
All: COFFEE!?
Random Vampireologist: -talking into camera- Hi! I'm Mark Taiwan (HWHH: Wtf?! KMF: Whaaaat? It's just a retarded last name! HWHH: And retarded it definitely is. KMF: Yeah well... SO'S YOUR FACE! HWHH: What?! KMF: Exaacccttllyyy...) and we're hear at Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida to witness something amazing- a new breed of vampires in their natural habitat! This new breed is classified as the Inatimiciousvampiriccus pushiuciousness, otherwise known as 吸血鬼のプラシ天, which I think is possibly Japanese for "Vampire Plush" (KMF: Retarded AltaVista translator thing...) Well, anyway, I believe we are about to witness this new species eating! Let's take a closer look!!
-The plushies stare at the cup of coffee for about thirty seconds before sinking their teeth into it-

Us: What-
Edward: The-
Carlisle: CRAP!?!

Ohhhkayyy... right, EVERYONE, BACK IN YOUR PLACES BECAUSE WE ARE CONTINUING ON AS NORMAL!!! Or... however that may apply...
JANE! She ran over the taco bell dog. In her low-rider.
Jane: I don't own a low-rider.
Jane... is George Dubya Bush and she approved this message. TACOS RULE!
Jane: Uh... do I look like Gee-Dub to you?
Jane... If cryogenics were all free then you could live like Walt Disney and live for all eternity inside a block of ice!
Jane: Uh...
-crickets-CONTINUING!!
JANE! Half a faacce...
Jane: Wait, huh? -half of her face falls off-
Jane: AHHHHHHHH! MY FACE!
All: GASP!
Mysterious voice: BWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!!!
Wait! Hey, where's that coming from?!?!
-CALLED FOR makes his dramatic return, wearing a long, flowing cape that has (in very microscopic print) "Made by Ayame Sohma" stitched on the bottom left corner-
All: DOUBLE GASP!
Called For: THAT WAS MY DOING!!! Plushies, ASSEMMMBLEEEEE!!!
-Plushies gather around Called For-
Called For: COME, PLUSHIES! We must work our next attack!
-POOF-

What the crap!? Anyway...
JAAANNNEEE... likes milk.
Jane: YEEAAAAHHH! It comes from Happy Cows! Which DON'T ALWAYS come from California, sometimes they come from Washington County, Missouri! Or somewhere in the middle of Nebraska! Or... uh.. JAPAN!
Jane... loves math? HOW DARE SHE!
Jane: 2x5 is ELEVENTEEN! HA! Beat THAT!
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! I FEEL MY BRAIN MELTING INTO TINY RUBBERY BITS! Whatever THAT means...
Jane... all hail Plankton...
Jane: Why?
Because, his bucket helmets are awesome.
Jane: Why?
Because they're so ugly that they're cute.
Jane: Why?
Because... well, nothing's really cute about a bucket
Jane: Why?
Because it has a fugly cylindrical shape.
Jane: Why?
Because it holds water.
Jane: Why?
Because people need things to hold water in.
Jane: Why?
Because, water is a staple in our lives. If we didn't have it... I mean, not you obviously, but the humans.
Jane: Why?
Well, because out body depends on water. And since you don't drink water, you don't apply.
Jane: Why?
Because Aro changed you.
Jane: Why?
Because you were dying and he found you useful.
Jane: Why?
Because you had potential.
Jane: Why?
Because it's just who you were.
Jane: Why?
That all has to do with genetics and how you were brought up and... stuff.
Jane: Wh- OH SCREW IT!!!
HA! I BEAT YOU!!
Jane: RAWR!
Jane... The music video for Famous Last Words is the third most viewed video of all time on Youtube.
Jane: Wow. And I really care?
YOU SHOULD!
Jane... HOMOPHOBIA IS GAY!
Jane: Yes... I know.
Then why did you insult Called For like that? (A/N: NOOOO HE IS NOT GAY! MY GOD! WHAT HAVE WE WRITTEN!?)
Jane: BECAUSE I WANTED A FRANK PLUSHY, OKAY?!
Jane... YOU SUNK MY BATTLE SHIP!
Jane: Ehehe... ooh, that was your carrier, too. Ah well, just goes to show you that the JFK (the ship, that is) IS A PIECE OF CRAP AND IT DESERVED TO BE DECOMMED!!
Jane... Um, moooooooooo!
Jane: What- the- crap?
Jane... you could be the next Justin Timberlake, I swear to god!
Jane: EH?!!?
Zee Oh Em Gee! SHE'S TURNING INTO TOHRU HONDA! SOUND THE ALARMS, HOIST ANCHOR, GET THE MULTIPLE JACK SPARROWS TO THEIR BATTLE STATIONS, EAT CAAAKE! HO!
Jane: -twitch, twitch- No idea what you're talking about!!
Jane... icky mushroom!!
Jane: But- ummm...
Jane... this is pretzle day!
Jane... ah, yes, and everthing has been thrown off balance for the confectionary wonder that is... a soft pretzel, covered in everything imaginable.
-Everyone is now eating pretzels-
Bella: Mmm, this is a good pretzel.
Jacob: Totally. Smothered in chocolate sauce... damn. Good stuff.
Edward: I'll have to agree. I mean, we'll have to throw it up later, but goddaaammnnn, good pretzels.
All of the other members of the Cullen family: Agreed.
Jane... if you're so good at math, the please solve the following equation...
TACOxMUFFIN equals WHAT?!
Jane: Um... huh?
You have five minutes to find the correct answer.
-Jeopardy music plays on a loop... then, everyone dies of boredom waiting for Jane to find the correct answer...-
All (but Jane): Oh DEAD!
-They all come back again-
All (but Jane)- YAY! WE'RE ALIVE!!
Jane: Uhh, is it the rare taco muffin?
Ash: Ooh, I'm sorry... the correct answer was... Mansex (AKA Xemnas), tell her the answer.
Xemnas: ... ETERNAL DARKNESS! -poof-
Jane... I LIKE POTATOS!
Jane: oh... okay... I'm just going to... uh... I AM SORRY FOR SO RUDELY- ah!
-evil smirks-
Called For: AHA! I HAVE IT!! I KNOW THE ULLLTIMATE TORTURE!

-plays footage of Kyo Sohma... Fruits Basket Anime style.-
Jane: -twitch twitch-
Called For: What's your sign?
Jane: D-d- CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTT!! -POOF! SHE'S TORHU!
All: GASP!
But wait, that's not Torhu, its-
-called for pulls off mask to reveal...-
All: GASP! A RANDOM ORGANIZATION MEMBER?
But wait, that's not a random organization member... it's...
-pulls back hood...-
All: GASP! A TOMATO!
But that's not a tomato, it's...
All: GASP! DARLA!
Darla: FISHHYYY!!
But that's not Darla... it's...
All: GASP! OLD MAN JENKINS?
O.M.J: CORRECTION! Thats... -pulls off mask- LEEERROOOOOOY JEEEEENKIINNNSS!!
All: GASP!
Leeerrooooooy Jeeeeenkiinnnss: And I would've gotten away with it, too! If it weren't for you darn meddling kids and your stupid cotton candy being!
Called For: SCOOOOBY DOOBY DOOO!!!
Random person: AHAHA! He said dooby! -poof-
Ohhhh effing kay. This has been tooootally pointless.

TODAY'S MUSICAL GUESTS... PLUSHY MY CHEM!!! Singing I'm Not Okay is slow motion! (Just try to picture it for a second... trust me, even in the Making Of, if you slow it down, it's hilarious)

Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say.
I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way.
For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took,
Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out

What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?
(I'm not okay)
I've told you time and time again you sing the words but don't know what it means
(I'm not okay)
To be a joke and look, another line without a hook
I held you close as we both shook for the last time take a good hard look!

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out

Forget about the dirty looks
The photographs your boyfriend took
You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed

I'm okay
I'm okay!
I'm okay, now
(I'm okay, now)

But you really need to listen to me
Because I'm telling you the truth
I mean this, I'm okay!
(Trust Me)

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
Well, I'm not okay
I'm not o-fucking-kay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
(Okay)

Carlisle: Wow. I honestly think that my high IQ has now been lowered to about 10. And... the authors have finally done it. The apocalypse is upon is, the Idiocracy is real, and may god have mercy on their souls. I don't think I'll ever recover from-
Random cheerleaders: RETARD NATION! RETARD NATION! PEACE! THE WORLD IS ROUND!
Carlisle: Well said.

SOLONG AND GOODNIGHT! SEE YOU NEXT TIME!!
------------------------------
End.
ASH'S NOTE: Yeah, well, that was insane! I don't even know why that idea suddenly came to mind... rabid My Chem vampire plushies... that's just insane!

DISCLAIMER: We do not own, do not know, or are not associated in any way with the following people, companies, or bands and we are using their works without consent: My Chemical Romance, All That, Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Stephenie Meyer, Nickelodeon, Universal, The Office, NBC, Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends, Square-Enix, Disney, Kingdom Hearts, Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories, Kingdom Hearts II, Kingdom Hearts II: Final Mix, Kingdom Hearts Re: Chain of Memories, Jeopardy!, Fruits Basket, FUNimation, Tokyopop, Hana to Yume magazine, Robot Chicken, that song "Funny Farm", those Happy-Cows-Come-From-California commercials, "Jap Hearts" (as seen on Youtube, made by Engulfed), that one song with the lyrics about Walt Disney (I'm sorry! We don't know which song it is), Pop Tarts, X-play, G4TV, TiVo, Finding Nemo, Reprise records, Eyeball records, Startbucks, "Leroy Jenkins", "I Ran Over the Taco Bell Dog", and Battleship. If there are any nouns out there that we left out, we do not own, know, and are not associated with them either. We made no profit off of this... whatsoever. As that t-shirt says... Volunteer! It doesn't pay.