A/N: Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to review my story, I keep working on it and I'm not sure where all this might just go from here!
Chapter 26: I am so not
Max and I spent a few days locked away from the rest of the world before he had to go back to work. I was seriously thinking about going back to work too but there wasn't anyone who was keen on that idea yet. So I sat at home, watching TV and turning into a soap opera junkie who was now for the lack of anything better to do during the day quilting. Okay so I had no real idea of what I was doing but I had gotten a lot of books and started reading. I knew that I could learn how to do this and I needed something to do other than watch TV until the twins got out of school.
We had been in Chicago now for almost eight months now. The time just kept flying. Doug and Carol had asked me if I would be interested in watching the girls over the summer when they weren't in school and I had thought it over and talked with Max about it. He didn't seem to think that would be a bad thing. So I spent my summer chasing two little girls, hours at the playground, in the pool in the backyard that Max had set up for them, watching them run through the sprinkles for hours on end during the hotter months of the summer, they had been my main focus all summer long.
However, the more that I had the girls, the greater my longing became and I tried so desperately to ignore it. Knowing that it was the one thing that I couldn't have. No matter how much I wanted a baby, I was never going to have one. Doug came by to get the girls one after noon near the end of August. School was starting at the end of the week and both Tess and Kate were looking forward to it, granted they didn't see me as a babysitter more like an adult who did really cool stuff. They had started calling me Aunt Anna when we were out in public.
"Anna, Tess, Kate?" I could hear a voice calling from inside the house.
"We're in the back yard." I say spraying Tess with a water gun, "girls you're dad's here."
"Ah Daddy!" Tess and Kate run hiding behind me as they start shooting at him with their water guns.
"Hey no not behind me." I say playfully trying to push one of them out in front of me.
I watch as Doug starts running towards us. Not realizing now that both girls have bolted from behind me seeing him running at us. I just start firing the water gun as I take off now too, "you guys abandoned me." I scream as Doug grabs me in one arm, Tess in the other and we all go down onto the grass. He's got Tess pinned under his legs and I am trying to get out as he has me by the waist. "Got you both." He says with a big laugh. "Get me with your little water guns will you."
Cold water goes shooting down my back. "Damn it Doug!" I yelp out as it hits me, "no far the hose is off limits!" Oh that water is so cold, granted it's nearly a hundred degrees outside at five o'clock at night.
"Yeah I know it is," Doug is laughing as Kate comes running over to jump into the fun.
I watch as she hangs on Doug, you sure can tell that they are his and Carol's girls. "Daddy can we have dinner here with Aunt Anna and Uncle Max?" I hear her ask and a smile over at Doug.
"Did you ask Aunt Anna about that?" I watch him interacting with Kate now, Tess still pinned under his feet. "You're not going anywhere there little darlin'."
"Yes I did and she said we had to ask you Daddy before she would say yes." Kate has her hands on her hips; she's a little miniature Carol.
I am fighting now not to laugh at how cute and insistent she is being with him right now. It's rather amusing with how they have seemed to have taken to me.
"Well I suppose we could have dinner with Aunt Anna and Uncle Max." Doug said looking over at me know with a smile as he shrugs his shoulders.
I pull myself up off the ground now, "girls why don't you guys go play me and your daddy will be up on the deck." I say as I walk back towards the back door. Knowing that Doug is standing there watching the girls, although they don't need constant supervision. "You want something to drink Doug?"
"Yeah sure." I hear him answer me.
"Beer okay?" I say as I walk back out sitting down on the deck in a lounge chair out of the sun the best I can but so that I am still in a position where I can see the twins playing.
"Yeah that's great." He says as I hand it over. "They really like it over here."
"Oh they are good girls Doug, I love having them here." I say my voice is pretty soft but I'm still managing to hide anything that I might be feeling.
"I don't think that they want school to start." He smiles at me.
"Ah what kid wants to go back to school? Summer time staying up late, hiding at Aunt Anna's and Uncle Max's… that's every kids dream summer." I say watching them playing.
"I know Carol and I are really lucky that they had you to hang out with and to take them when we are working and they get out of school." Doug said.
I take a drink from the beer bottle, "I'm the lucky one." I guess that I meant that in more than one way, "really it's no problem watching them for you guys, besides, I like being someone's aunt." I give him a small smile. "You know that just means that I get to spoil them come their birthdays and Christmas too. Honorary Auntie duty."
"What's bugging you Anns?"
"What makes you think that anything is bugging me Doug?" I ask looking over at him. "Other than the fact that it's five at night and is still a hundred degrees outside. God it was a hot one today."
"Because you are like this little sister to me." He said smiling over, "you know I've got that only child syndrome going on and you are like the little sister I never had, but in all the time I've known you I've learned to pick up on the little things, you don't have to say anything to me for me to know that there is something going on in that brain of yours."
"Yeah but don't you worry about it none." I say looking over at him now, "because if you are this big brother, this is something that not ever my little brother's need to know about. Don't worry everything is fine with me." I watch Tess and Kate splashing in the pool. "That must be the life." I say trying to distract him from the subject. I don't think that I am ready to talk with anyone about it and I haven't even talk with Max about it.
"Yeah being a kid is great." I hear him say, "you sure you don't want to talk about it a little with me," he gives me his classic Doug smile now as if that's going to make me open right up to him.
"There's nothing wrong you big goober." I say tossing the bottle cap from my beer at him.
"You did not just call me a goober."
"Oh but I did just call you a goober and not only that but a big goober." I say with a smile. "And there's nothing you can do about it either."
"Oh yeah." I hear him spat back before this cold spray of water hits me.
"Goober," I repeat again, "actually in this heat that feels pretty damn good. What should we throw on the grill tonight? I've got hot dogs for the girls to eat but what should us grown up people eat," I smile at him now, "you get hot dogs too if you're not careful."
"Whatever is fine with me Anns," I hear him say as he turns his attention back to his girls. "You know you don't have to keep feeding us, Carol and I do know how to cook when we need to."
I look back over at him now turning my head to the side so that I can see him even better, "nonsense. You are more than welcome to eat here, besides I rather enjoy the company and it gives the girls and excuse to stay over longer." I say before closing my eyes and relaxing completely in my lounge chair, "you guys should be thankful that they are not begging you to take night shifts so that they can spend the night all the time now."
"Ah well I would hate that, the occasional night shift I don't mind, but more than a couple of them and it throws the body for a loop at my age." He said tossing his bottle cap at me now.
"Max was telling me that you've been bugging him to go back to work."
"Ah what have you two become best buddies now?" Like I have to ask that one I pretty much already know the answer to it.
"Well calling us best buddies is probably a stretch but yeah you could say we've gotten closer together." He said, "Besides he's my best friend's husband can't hurt to be friends with him."
"I am so not your best friend." I spat back.
"Oh no you're not my best friend you are my annoying little sister."
"I am not annoying if I was annoying you wouldn't want to be here with me." I say back to him. "But for me to be your best friend that's pretty far fetched there Doug."
"Na Anns, you and I have a special relationship, you might not be a best friend in a guy sense but you are still right up there. You're my best," he laughs now, "girl friend."
"Oh don't let Carol hear you say that." I say looking over at him there's a very mischievous looking six year old who has managed to sneak up on him while we were talking who looks like she's about to soak her daddy. I just smile and shoot her a wink as I know she could get him if I just keep talking to him, "you know I think I could handle being your best girl friend."
And as I say that Tess strikes getting him soaking wet as she leaps on him after being fresh from getting out of the pool with her bucket of water. I just have to laugh at them, that's all I can do it is rather cute and funny.
"Hey baby I'm home!" I hear another voice calling out from inside the house.
"Grab a beer honey, Doug and I are on the back deck." I call back in response.
Pretty soon Max is sitting on the edge of the lounge chair smiling down at me with a cold one in his hands too. "How was your day honey?" I ask. He looks kind of tired but that could be from the heat too.
"It was okay." He says leaning down to give me a kiss, "hey Doug how's life treating you?"
"It's good." He says as he pulls Tess off him, "go play Tess."
I just watch as she scampers away. "What's for dinner tonight Anna?"
"I don't know honey what do you want?" I ask. It's this hot surely he has to know that there is no way that I am firing up the oven in the kitchen.
"What do you want me to throw on the grill?" He asks looking at me.
"There's some chicken defrosting in the fridge, although by the time you get it to the grill it will already be cooked in this heat." I say looking at him with a smile. "I promised the girls hot dogs."
"Cool deal missy." He says patting my leg, "I'll get it started in a few minutes."
"Sounds good to me." I say back.
"But first I think that I am going to join those playful kids in that pool and cool off a little myself."
"You go right ahead, my big kid." I say smiling at him as he heads down to play with the girls, I can't help but sigh. Max seems to rather enjoy having them around. And I can't help but wonder if he's not feeling the same thing at times that I am feeling.
"That was a pretty heavy sigh there Anns."
"Sorry just thinking." I automatically reply.
"Yeah deep thoughts there. Something wrong with the lovebirds?"
"Not that I know of." There's not much to say right now. I resituate myself in the lounge chair again.
"Something is up wish that you would just talk with me about it." I hear him say.
"It's really nothing Doug. Just the heat getting to me that's all. You still worry too much about nothing."
I watch as Max plays with the girls and I pretend to think about taking a nap in the chair. I do end up laying there with my eyes closed. And I find myself thinking more and more about that longing, about that yearning, and I'm not sure just how much longer I can ignore it, especially if Max is thinking about it too. I kick myself now wishing that I could be the one to give him the one thing that we both want.