A/N Here's another Regulus chapter, its his last few hours at Hogwarts. And in this chapter there is one memory of a happier time with Lee and Corvus :)
Embellished Reality
There is a heavy sense of anticipation weighing on the small gathering of press, ministry officials and affluent few. Never has so many people been invited to the Stirling Tower at once. It has only been two days since Eros Stirling was laid to rest among the gravestones of previous fellow Masters of the Tower. However, we are not summoned to the Tower to mourn, but we are promised a historical landmark for wizard history.
Reporting for the Daily Prophet, I am invited to sit in the first row of reporters. The Minister himself is present. No one can guess what Ascanius Stirling, 20, has in store for us. When he descends into the ground floor with us from the staircase that appears to spiral the entire length of the Tower, we collectively hold our breath. He is wearing perhaps the most expensive robes this reporter has ever seen. But I am most drawn to his handsome, bright face. Written on his face I read, he's a man on the verge of ushering in a new age.
"Ladies and gentlemen," he greets us, "Today is a day to remember in history. It is not just a day to be celebrated by my family, but by the entire wizarding world. Our family is an example of all modern wizarding families, striving to maintain their purity and integrity in the face of corruption… In order to completely revive and rise above degeneration, there must be a powerful change… I give to you, the new Master of the Stirling Tower, my sister- Leandra Hero Stirling!"
Ascanius holds his arm out to the stairs, and there she comes, the new Master of the Tower, Leandra Stirling. At the tender age of eighteen, she is second youngest to hold the title but the first woman… "I believe she will be an excellent role-model for pureblood girls all over," Lucius Malfoy, dear friend to the family, commented while accompanied by his young wife, Narcissa…
Regulus laid on his back, completely still, staring at the ceiling above his four-poster bed in his dorm. Everything was packed and waiting to return home. But he didn't know if he wanted to go back yet. The world had changed so violently outside of Hogwarts. Here, lying still on his bed without a clear thought in his head, he felt comfortable. Here nothing seemed to be shaken up or disturbed. Hogwarts just felt ageless, and he finally realized what a luxury that was, just in time to leave it all behind.
In a few weeks he will hear the results of his exams. The news of Leandra becoming Master Crafter distracted him greatly when he should have been studying. But he was already lost before reading Rita Skeeter's coverage of the announcement. Before Leandra's news he had to deal with the truth about the Dark Lord.
He was in love with a half-blood already. Leandra was an amazing witch. She was second youngest and the first female ever to be named Master of the Stirling Tower. Snape was a half-blood and Ascanius; both of them were invaluable to the Dark Rebellion. So the Dark Lord is a half-blood…
And like Snape and Ascanius, the Dark Lord rather pretend to be pureblood than let anyone know the truth. Leandra would rather have lived never knowing the truth too, Regulus was sure.
The Dark Lord was still the most powerful living wizard. He still preached the ideals Regulus had held to throughout his life. More preservation of the old wizarding families, less integration and regulation of Muggles into their communities… But was a leader who wasn't pureblood really upholding these ideals? It couldn't just be about the politics…
Regulus thought about Snape and Ascanius again. They wanted to be purebloods. To them their lives were incomplete as half bloods. Life had cheated them when they were born a half-blood. So they go out of their way to prove themselves.
No. Ascanius is proving himself to the other families, Regulus thought. Snape was always determined to outshine everyone else. That's how he would get even.
He sighed. There was a knock on the door. Amycus was there with his sister. Regulus couldn't wait until he never had to see those two again. "Reg, lets go mate, everyone's on their way to the train," he told him.
Regulus waved them away, tired. "Save me a seat, I'll wait until the rush is over."
The Carrow twins exchanged looks, as if they questioned Regulus's mental health. These past few months, since the spring holiday, he has been distant with everyone. Everything was a blur. He enjoyed the numb existence.
Did he have it in him to succeed again outside of Hogwarts? Would it show that his confidence was slipping?
He took a deep breath, filling his lungs and held the air in him. The Dark Lord was a half-blood, but does that change anything?
He exhaled loudly.
"It doesn't change anything," he told himself aloud. The Dark Lord still led the Dark Rebellion.
Leandra was a half-blood. He tried to make himself believe that changed everything between them, but in the end, they collided once again. And if Regulus wanted things to settle in terms of this war and constant vigilance, so he and Leandra can finally bring Corvus out into the light, then he had to bear through this.
The arguments were reasonable. He was very good at rationalizing the irrational.
But today, he couldn't bring his heart to believe his own lies.
My parents did come for my final Quidditch match. Slytherin won, it was an easy win. If it had been two years ago, I wouldn't have been pleased with such an easy victory. It would irk my pride. But now I was too tired to deal with anything but simplicity.
My mother insisted on taking me to lunch in Hogsmeade. Although she knew better, she claimed the food at school hadn't been good to me. I was too sickly looking. I needed a good meal and quality time with my parents. This was her diagnosis.
Sitting down with them at the Three Broomsticks, I wondered if perhaps my father had betrayed me slightly. Had they peered into my Pensieve? Did they know everything now? It would be nice if the burden wasn't just mine alone. I think my mother would be happy to know Corvus existed, a male heir to the Black family, but she would be furious with everything else I was hiding.
It was ridiculous to think about what kind of mess I was in.
"Have you thought about what you're going to do this summer?" my mother asked. I shrugged as I devoured my plate of pasta.
"I have to wait to see how things turn out."
"We think you should do some traveling," she declared. My father nodded. Usually his nods were automatic, he was trained to agree with my mother like a robot. But today he was listening, and he was actually involved with this proposal. "After all the work with school and … everything, we think you need to go on a real vacation. We have family of course all across Europe, so there are many options for you. You won't be completely alone, that would be dangerous, of course."
"And that girlfriend of yours lives in Berlin," my father added. Mother didn't like how he referred to anyone as my 'girlfriend', but she didn't dispute the claim. This was a big step.
"Yes, I'm sure she can help set up accommodations for you," she said stiffly. "You keep in contact with her, after all, it would only be the polite thing to do."
"You want me to go to Europe?"
"Yes, you'll learn a lot there," Walburga waved her hand dismissively, "England hasn't the same charm as old Europe. And you've only seen such a small part of what they can offer."
It was surprising to hear my mother compliment anything or anyone not associated with herself. I had to laugh a little. Sirius always wanted them to send him to Europe, on an all expense-paid trip of course. Going to the South of France wasn't enough for him; he wanted to backpack across all the countries, without my parents or any family. And they wanted to send me to Berlin to Leandra and Corvus!
"That would be nice," I told them. "I'd like that, thank you."
"Just tell us when you want to go, son," Orion said. Walburga nodded in silent agreement this time. "We'll make sure everything works out."
Regulus looked at the Daily Prophet. Front page was dedicated to Leandra's historical achievement. There was no way there was ever going to be a relaxing, private holiday in Berlin now. Of course a part of him always knew that it wasn't going to happen, but he never foresaw this happening to Leandra and him. What was going to happen to their secret family? Where was Corvus in all this?
Looking at picture, he felt he saw more to the story than anyone else could. Leandra stood on the bottom stair of the infamous staircase, she was wearing an azure blue gown, her hair was pulled, loosely up and she wore the pearls he gave her all those years ago. Over her shoulders she wore a black cloak, pinned over her chest with the Master's brooch. This was the first colored picture he ever saw in the Daily Prophet, it was just for the front page.
She should look proud, accomplished, eager and daring in that picture. But he could see that it was all fake. She was scared, ashamed and she was thinking of Corvus. She was thinking of their secret life. It was ruined.
He sighed and put the news page in his pocket. He was about to leave the castle, the last place that remained unchanging and safe for him. If only Leandra and him had never left that room on the seventh floor.
"Regulus!" Barty caught up with him. As a Prefect it was his duty to round up any students lingering behind. "Regulus, don't you want to get a seat on the train?"
"The Carrows are taking care of that."
"Oh, well I thought we could travel back together," he smiled, excited. "I feel like we haven't spoken for weeks, I mean, we haven't even discussed what's happened to Miss Stirling yet!" he laughed.
Barty was toeing the line of being annoying. At first Regulus could forgive the constant mentioning of Leandra, but now his patience was wearing thin. What's more, Regulus knew Leandra was upset with him. She accused him of being distant and she was getting frustrated. So hearing another man speak about her agitated Regulus. They weren't secure enough for Barty to always shed light on their relationship. "What's there to say? She made history while I was taking my N.E."
Barty kept smiling brightly. "Did you know they were going to announce it? You were invited to the funeral and everything, weren't you?"
"Yes, I wasn't there though."
"Well, of course I know that, but did you know it was all going to happen before it did? Or did she have to keep it a secret?"
"Didn't you read the article? It was a surprise even for her, only Ascanius knew," Regulus nearly snapped at the Ravenclaw. "If you didn't read it, I'm sure you can get it off someone still. Slughorn hung it up in his bloody office, didn't he?"
"I've read it, but I just thought, you know, since you and Miss-"
"I didn't know anything, she didn't know anything either until the day," he said finally.
"I'm sure you're eager to see her," he said sympathetically. He wanted Regulus to invite him with to see Leandra, Regulus could tell immediately. Barty had no tact when it came to hiding his objectives. Regulus half wanted to introduce Leandra to Barty, just because he knew Leandra would be uninterested. Then again it could back fire. Maybe Leandra's taste has changed. But ultimately it wouldn't work if she tried trading him for Barty, because there was Corvus.
I'm horrible, he thought furiously. How can I think of her like that? She deserves to be free from me. What the hell is wrong with me?
"Regulus?"
"Huh?"
"Did you hear what I said?" Barty asked. Regulus shook his head and mumbled an apology. "I was saying how I know I'm ready to commit to the Dark Lord."
"You are?" Regulus didn't sound like he might advise against it, he knew very well how to control everything in order to continue his lies. Every little lie counted. That meant the inflection of his voice too.
"Yes, reading about Miss Stirling and-and this year with you," he elaborated, "I see what I want to become."
"I'm not sure I follow," Regulus said. "You won't be serving me or Leandra."
"No, no, I meant that knowing you two has inspired me to take the leap," he nearly hopped as they walked along. "You are from one of the most noble pureblood families-"
"The noblest," Regulus corrected automatically. His mother would be happy. But was his family really noble? What makes anyone noble?
"Yes, excuse me. And yet you have laid your life on the line to create a better world for others."
"Other purebloods," he corrected again.
"Yes! And it makes me realize, what do I have to lose? My family isn't nearly as-as important as yours, yet you are fearlessly taking a stand, one that will test your mortality and… and why should I wait on the sideline?"
It seemed so romantic and stupid. "And why Leandra? How does she move you?" Regulus shot him a sideway glance. Barty looked away, a little unnerved by the wording and the look from Regulus.
"She did lose everything," he said thoughtfully. "But she rejected the Mudblood polluting her life and grasped the pureblood half of herself, and now she is making history. And she too will help shape the future for thousands of purebloods. So I'm ready to hold on to something I believe in and to fight," Barty concluded. "I'm ready. I want to serve the Dark Lord and join the Dark Rebellion."
Regulus raised an eyebrow. This boy was always searching for some grand epic struggle. He had spent most of his life being perfect at school, now he wanted something beyond books. He wanted to taste glory. Like all the heroes in his stupid books. It annoyed Regulus how simple his ambitions were and how bind he was about it. For someone so intelligent… "I understand your reasoning," he said simply.
"Well, I was hoping that you could, hm, sponsor me?" Barty smiled meekly.
We were cuddled on the bed together, all under the duvet and giving each other warmth. Leandra was reading through some of my homework, interested to see what she was missing out on. I was playing airplane with Corvus, something he enjoyed greatly, especially when I made the engine noise. Corvus's eyes have a way of lighting up the whole world when he laughed.
Leandra was lying on her stomach, perked up on her elbows reading one of my reports for Herbology. "This isn't you," she pointed at a sentence and gave me a cheeky look. "You're not nearly as eloquent as that when it comes to plants that smell of poop."
I never heard her use the word poop before. I grinned at her. "Is poop the technical term?"
She laughed, but then studied the sentence again, "But really, who wrote this?"
"Geez, Stirling, thank you very much for the vote of confidence," I rolled my eyes, and then made a goofy face to keep Corvus giggling. Every face or inappropriate noise sent him going again, as if every new thing was funnier than the last. Every day was the best day ever. It was the beginning of the Christmas holiday, when I still had time to enjoy the best days.
"Stop it," she leaned over to kiss me on the cheek. We were so comfortable with each other. She no longer asked me to turn the other way when she slipped out of bed and into her clothes. Even now she only wore shirt and I only had underwear on. I felt like I was miles away from everything and everyone. I wasn't Regulus Black, heir to the Black dynasty, the Slytherin and Death Eater. I was Regulus Black, and that was it. "You write reports much better than this. I always liked your style."
"I had a style?"
She shook her head. "Your hopeless you know that? How can you not know your strengths?"
"I'm good at Quidditch."
"You're more than that," she told me. She put the paper aside and rested her head in her arms, looking at me dreamily. "So who wrote that line?"
"I didn't have time to finish it," I admitted finally. "Barty Crouch wrote it."
"The Ministry official?" she frowned. I laughed.
"No, his son, he was in the year below us, in Ravenclaw."
She thought back on him, and finally remembered, "The boy who got all those O.?" I nodded. She gave me an approving look, "A good step up from the Carrows."
"He wants to be a Death Eater," I said abruptly. The playfulness in her eyes disappeared. "But I don't think he'll do it," I lied. I already knew at this point, there was no way of stopping Barty. If I tried, I would appear disloyal and weak.
Leandra could tell I didn't believe it. I didn't hide my lies here. Yes, I didn't want to remind her of what was out there, but I wouldn't deny her the truth. She patted the bed space between us; she wanted Corvus to come down. I flew him into the space; he loved the sudden, short plunge and the swooping sound.
Once on the bed he wanted to cradle. He went to attack Leandra's head, grabbing a fistful of her hair. She grimaced and I distracted Corvus by nibbling his tiny foot. He turned back at me, delightfully surprised. We played for a good few minutes, until he wore himself out and he drifted into sleep between us.
"You're an amazing father," she told me, whispering over him. I would have to leave in the morning. My parents didn't ask where I was going anymore, but I still didn't want to make them worry.
"You're a pretty good mum," I assured her. I wanted to lean over to kiss her.
"Who would have known," she smirked, but it quickly faded, "How long do you think we can keep up with this?"
In honestly, I knew it couldn't be for long, but I didn't want to discuss it. We didn't need to then. We still had time. We were still in our imaginary world, miles away, alone and in love.
Kreacher brought all his school things back home before Regulus arrived with his parents. He entered his house, wondering how long he had until he was summoned for something.
"Go into the drawing room, Regulus, we'll have tea," his mother told him after taking his coat. She never took anyone's coat. Regulus was obedient and entered the drawing room.
Sitting there, brooding it seemed, was Leandra Stirling, the Madame Crafter as she officially went by then. Their eyes met, and at once he saw resentment, pain, longing and ultimately love in her dark eyes. She stood up from the cushioned chair, neither of them knew how to greet each other in front of his parents.
Then she did it, she rushed forward and wrapped her arms around him. He embraced her too. Holding each other so tightly released something in both of them. It was fear. It had to be. Even if everything was ruined, they weren't so afraid together.
Like Barty said, they had something they believed in and they were holding on. And they would fight. Even if, most of the time, they were fighting blindly.