As I round the corner I see the same woman from the other day, this time sitting on the front steps without a jacket rubbing her hands up and down her arms as if to warm them up. She doesn't see me yet so I watch as a slow my steps.
Tank has taken a seat next to her and wrapped an arm across her shoulder. She gasps so quietly I almost didn't hear it but then she lets out a shaky breath before wiping what I'm assuming is a tear from her cheek. I almost turn around feeling suddenly like I'm intruding but Tank looks at me again before glancing to the woman beside him. Well, here goes nothing.
"Hello."
"Oh!" She jumped up as I clearly startled her.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."
"No, um. I'm just a little jumpy these days."
"I'm Bella; I live just around the corner." I turn around slightly pointing in the general direction.
"Jane, nice to meet you." She takes a step forward and reaches out to shake my hand.
"Nice to meet you too." I wasn't sure what to say next. And we stood there in a somewhat awkward silence but since I was here for a reason – even though I wasn't sure exactly what that was yet – I soldiered on.
"Are you a relative of Marcus?"
"You knew my uncle?"
"I met him fairly recently but we had become friends." Not a complete lie, I think we would have certainly.
"I'm sorry about your loss." I add on.
"Thank you, I'm sorry too, for you, I mean….Would you like to come in? I have some water on for tea."
"That would be nice, thank you."
"My father, Caius, was much younger than Marcus." She said setting a mug down on the table in front of me.
"Oh?"
"He was just born when Marcus left home so really they didn't even know each other well. I only met him one time and that was at my wedding." She smiled sadly and I glanced down at her hand noting that there was no ring there but her finger looked like it was blotchy and slightly red. When I looked back to her face I noticed another tear roll down her cheek as I begin to put the pieces together.
"Are you okay?"
"Sorry, I'm fine. It's just that…" She sighed before continuing. "My husband was killed two years ago, next week actually."
"Oh, I'm so sorry." Tank was looking at her with such devotion I almost started crying myself.
"It's um." She waved me off and when she did he moved to stand right behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder.
"What was his name? If you don't mind my asking."
"Felix." She pulled what looked to be a wedding band off of her right hand and tried to put it back on her left.
"I've worn this ring everyday for five years but about a month ago it started giving me a rash and my finger would swell up. Just this finger." She shakes her head and laughs humorlessly before continuing.
"I'd take it off and it would clear up but as soon as I tried to put it back on it would act up again."
I looked up to Tank, I mean Felix, who had moved around to kneel in front of her looking like he would be wiping away her tears if he could. He was responsible for this. It's time for her to move on. I wanted to roll my eyes at him. I think they forget that time holds a whole different meaning on the other side. It's a hard concept to wrap your head around but time doesn't even exist there.
"My parents say it's a sign, that I should take it off I mean. They tell me that I'm too young to spend the rest of my life alone and I'd find someone else if I'd allow myself too. They just don't understand." I stay silent as I briefly ponder being in her position but I can't, it's just too much for me to handle even thinking about.
"So anyways I came out here to take care of things as well as just get away for awhile." She tried to smile.
"It looks like you will have enough to keep you busy." I look around and really take notice. The wall paper is faded and peeling and the carpet needs to be replaced. It looks like the interior hadn't been updated in, well, decades. And there are several boxes that look as if Jane had started going through the long process of cleaning out someone's home…..Marcus's home.
I know he was an old man, and that his cause of death was listed as heart failure but I just can't help but wonder if someone or something….. I sigh, deeply. Did it have anything to do with me? I really don't know what to think. I wish I could have gotten more answers but have only been left with more questions. What was Marcus trying to tell me, or was that a message directed at him.
"It will definitely take some hard work." She nodded and looked around again.
"I don't want to intrude, I can see you're busy." I say standing to take my empty cup and put it in the kitchen. I don't want to say that she looks like she just wants to be alone as I make my way to the front door.
"It was nice to meet you Jane and if you need anything at all, please let me know. I'm just around that corner. It's the only blue house on the block." I don't really expect her to contact me but I know that this isn't the end of my time with her.
"I will, and it was nice meeting you too." I walk back home noting that Felix isn't coming after me. I'm so distracted by the ease of what just happened that I don't notice the car that was parked in my driveway. I mean…that's it?
"Well that was anti climatic".
"What was anti climatic?" My heart leaps to my throat as I spin around.
"Holy shit Rose."
"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to scare you. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." I muttered my hand over my heart.
"I thought you saw me. You walked right by me."
"Sorry, I was just distracted." I say opening the front door.
"I'll say."
"What's this?" I peer into the bag that she has in her arms.
"Just some things for the shower."
"Oh good, bring it into the kitchen." She set the bag down next to the stuff I had bought.
"I heard back from the last two people. One of them can't make it but she's going to drop off the present on the way to her son's game." Rose said while looking through the decorations I had.
"That was nice of her. So that is... eighteen people including us?" I mentally counted the chairs we would need.
"I think so." Rose pauses for a moment while taking a drink from the fridge.
"Bella, what were you talking about before? What was anti climatic?"
"I ran across a spirit." I start and I notice Rose stiffen slightly before turning around to face me looking concerned.
"It's not like that, he's a good one."
"You're sure?" She whispered.
"I am, he just wants some help with his wife."
"What kind of help?"
"He thinks it's time for her to move on, start living again, that sort of thing."
"How old is she?"
"Mid twenties."
"That's pretty young to lose a husband."
"Yeah, I can't even."
"Me neither."
"So how did she take it?" Rose asked taking a small sip.
"We hadn't really gotten that far. I didn't want to just spring it on her yet. And I'll have plenty of opportunity to see her again. She's cleaning out her uncle's house around the corner and plans to stay for awhile at least."
"Marcus? As in the neighbor that just passed away?" She asked.
"Yep."
"And you were expecting something more?" She gathers pulling out a chair and sitting down.
"Yeah, I guess I just thought that with everything that happened it would be a bigger deal and not just a, normal- for lack of a better word –situation."
"I think normal is the right word for you. And normal is good."
"It is."
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The shower was great. We all had a good time, Alice especially. She got some really nice things. We played a few games and gave out prizes. Not my favorite part of the party but Rose insisted.
Esme, what can I say about Esme. She will be the best mother in law anyone could ever hope for. She is the complete opposite of Renee and it's crazy to even try and compare the two. Renee is so completely self absorbed and controlling, as well as a bitch.
Esme is sweet, kind, loving, and… involved. Yes involved is a great word to describe her. And while some might call that sort of thing prying I have to say I love every second of it. She's an amazing woman and will make up for the loss of caring from my own mother. Who by the way still hasn't been told about either my engagement or the baby.
And while Esme didn't say anything outright it was clear she is a little suspicious. I thought back to her silent conversation with Edward at dinner the other night. In fact he was surprised that she let it go so easily and didn't harass him but now I know why, she probably thought I was an easier target.
"Bella honey, can I refill your glass? I'm heading to the kitchen." Seems innocent enough right?
"Would you like wine or do your prefer something non-alcoholic?" She whispers the last part and her eyes big and hopeful at my potential answer. The lady, whose name I'd already forgotten, just gives us a strange look.
"You haven't eaten much Bella, are you feeling okay? You're not nauseous or anything are you?" She tried again. And under the guise of retrieving coats from the guest room I swear I saw her whip out a small measuring tape and take some pictures of the room with her phone.
And, to me, her most obvious move was saved for last. While everyone else may have assumed she was talking about Alice, I knew better when her eyes flashed right to mine before glancing back at her daughter at the mention of grandchildren. Nancy Drew has nothing on Esme Cullen.
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"Hey." I smiled as Edwards arms wrapped around me, his lips soft against mine.
"Hey." I mumbled against his.
"I missed you today."
"I told you that you guys were welcome to join us."
"No thanks, the last thing I want to see is my baby sister holding up lingerie or other things little sisters are not supposed to know anything about." He said this while reaching for the hem of my shirt. I'm getting used to it, he just can't seem to stop touching my stomach.
"I think your mother knows I'm pregnant."
"What did she say?"
"Nothing specific, more like just hinting around."
"Well she does seem to have a sixth sense about these sorts of things." He says and I smile.
"Speaking of a sixth sense."
"Yeah?" He says this slow and slightly apprehensively.
"It's nothing bad."
"I'll take not bad any day, what happened?" He relaxes and continues rubbing circles around and around.
"I'm just helping someone out."
"Someone as in…a spirit someone?"
"Yes, his name is Felix and his wife is Marcus's niece."
"Marcus?" He sits up abruptly.
"Jane is his niece and she's clearing out her uncle's house though I'm not sure if she plans on staying or not."
"That can't be just a coincidence."
"I actually think it might be. Felix wasn't seeking me out. I ran across him and he realized that I could see him. He checked me out for a few days before leading me to his wife."
"You're sure he's not…." Edward paused but I knew what he was trying to say.
"I'm sure; he's just a normal person who wants his grieving wife to be happy."
"But doesn't it seem strange that it involves Marcus even if it's in an abstract sort of way?"
"Maybe, maybe not. A man passes away, he left everything to his niece and she shows up to take care of things or maybe even take the opportunity to start over. It's not unheard of, and I happened across her deceased husband. He was surprised by me and asked for help. This is what I do."
"You're sure?" he asked again.
"Yes, completely normal." I say using the word again.
"Well we could use some normal around here."
"Yes we can." I say feeling a moment of déjà vu.
"So you think we should tell everyone soon? I mean with my mother it's only a matter of time before she asks outright." His eyes hopeful.
"I think so." I tell him and he lights up.
"It will make everything seem so much more real. Mom and Dad are going to freak out."
"Freak out?"
"In a good way."
"If it's a boy, just know that Charlie will have already paired him up with Isabella."
"An older woman."
"So, I guess we should come up with some names?" I say and I'm really getting excited. Edward is right; it will seem a lot more real now with everyone else knowing. I look over to him and he's smiling up at the ceiling before giving me the side eye.
"You can say no."
"That's not a good way to start off."
"It's not bad, it's just."
"Let's hear it."
"How about Esmeralda for a middle name." He actually looks like he thinks I would say no.
"I'm fine with that but don't you think that he'll be made fun of growing up? Trust me, boys tend to like their middle names a little more manly." I say, thinking back to when we were kids. Poor Jake.
"Boys do, but we don't have to worry about that since she's a girl."
"You seem pretty sure about that."
"I am." He narrows his eyes slightly and purses his lips before continuing. "Now do you really thinks it's a boy or are you just being difficult?"
"Difficult? The last thing I am is difficult." And there goes the nose flare and an added head shake. Ooh, that's a new one.
"But really, for a girl, what do you think of the name?"
"I love it. I'd even be willing to bump it up to a first name."
"Really? You'd be okay with that?"
"I love your mother, more than my own. If we have a daughter I'd be honored to give her that name." Edward answers in a searing kiss and a very sincere 'I love you.'
"I love you too." A few minutes later, along with more absent minded stomach rubbing he asks about my mother.
"Will Renee be upset?"
"It doesn't matter if she is."
"You know, Rene is also a man's name without the extra e." He adds on after another minute in thought.
"So you want to name him Rene if it's a boy?"
"She's not a boy."
"So you've said, but we probably should come up with a plan B." I roll my eyes at him.
"Alright, how about Charlie?"
"Do you really like the name or are you just big on family names?"
"It might make him like me a bit more."
"What? Charlie loves you, and you know it."
"Fine, but it might erase the first impression I made."
"Honey, nothing will erase that." I say kissing his nose.
"Besides what about Carlisle?" I continue on.
"Don't get me wrong, I love my dad, but no."
"What about some sort of combination."
"Of Charlie and Carlisle?"
"Just throwing it out there."
"Charlisle?" Edward's eyes are big and face in a grimace.
"Okay so maybe not."
"Hmmmm, Carlie could work but I guess that's too girly for a boy?"
"He'd probably think so."
"We could do Carlie Esmeralda Cullen."
"Or Esmeralda Carlie Cullen."
"I love it either way."
"But we still need a boy's name."
"I'm at a loss."
"That's just because you don't think it's necessary, so I guess it has to be up to me." I say and tap my chin.
"Maybe…umm…..Edward?"
"Yeah?"
"No, I mean the name Edward."
"My name?"
"I love your name."
"Isn't it a little old fashioned?"
"It's making a comeback."
"Really?" He looks skeptical.
"Yes, and besides isn't it every man's dream to have their son named after them?"
"I wouldn't go that far."
"Look at George Foreman; he named all five of his son's George."
"You want a house full of Edwards?"
"It's every woman's dream."
"More like your dream."
"I'm lucky to have one, but think about it, a miniature Edward." I can see him turning it around in his mind.
"Edward Jr." I sing song it for him and he smiles.
"You're starting to like it."
"Okay, I admit it wouldn't be awful. But really since she's a girl it's a moot point."
"So we agree, if it's a boy."
"Which it won't be."
"But if it is, his name is Edward."
"Fine."
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Time is a funny thing, it seems to speed up or slow down at will. Alice and Jasper's wedding comes and goes. It was beautiful and such an amazing day. I see Jane off and on and if she decides to stay in town I could see us becoming friends.
She's kind and started to open up to me as I did to her. We talked about Felix and how her grief was causing her to keep people at a distance. After realizing that letting other people in doesn't mean she has to let go of Felix she started to put her guard down a little bit at time.
I also think that being in a new place has helped. A new place without all the memories that she couldn't stand to be around anymore. The fire chief knocking on the door of the first house they bought together to tell her the news. Her parents acting like it's not as devastating as it was and trying to get her to date again when she wasn't ready. The burned building that took her husband's life was within two miles of their home.
This move was a good one according to Felix and even though she isn't quite ready to start any new romantic relationships yet, he literally threw someone in her path. The poor guy had been so embarrassed as he seemingly slammed into the concrete in front of her home without any provocation. He looked around like he was ready to defend himself against an attacker but turned bright red when he couldn't see anyone but Jane running down her steps to help while staring wide eyed at him.
He was the opposite of Felix in nearly every way. He was barely taller than Jane unlike her husband who had several feet on her. He's an IT guy, and is a pretty quiet and shy. He's a real sweetheart and just went through a nasty divorce and is as close to dating someone new as Jane is. Give them some time and I think it will be great.
Slipping my coat on I was just getting ready to head back home when Jane's doorbell rang. She jumped up sidestepping me on the way to the door while offering me an explanation.
"Oh, that's Alec. He's just stopping by to look at the furnace for me." She said as if she had to defend him coming by. She didn't, not to me but maybe to herself. I think she was feeling a little guilty for the amount of time they had been spending together even though she was no where near ready to see it for what it is. But then again she didn't have the luxury of knowing that Felix had helped orchestrate the whole thing.
"That's nice of him to help out; he's turning out to be a great friend." I said and she relaxed.
"Yes, a great friend." She repeated as she opened the door to let him in.
"Hi." he said to her as he walked in.
"Thanks for doing this." I heard her say.
"Oh, hey Bella." I looked up to see him smiling at me.
"Hi Alec. I was just heading out, I have a few things to get done and Edward is getting off early today."
"Bella, wait, before I forget I found something that I think belongs to you." Jane picks something up from the table that I didn't notice before.
"Really?" I couldn't imagine what she was talking about though I had been here a few times and maybe left something without realizing it.
"Or at least it was meant for you. I found it in the nightstand that had been in Uncle Marcus's room." She handed me a plain white envelope. I just stared at it for a moment lost in thought. It had my name written on it, the handwriting looked a little shaky.
"Thanks." I'm sure they replied but suddenly my stomach was in knots thinking about what this could mean. It was obviously from Marcus. I stare at it as I walk down the steps but simply can't wait the half block to open it. When I do a half piece of paper falls slowly to the ground. I reach down to pick it up and get a little dizzy doing so. I flip the paper over and see that the only thing written on it is a name.
Sarah Jones. That's all it says. I turn it over already knowing that it's blank on the other side but it doesn't stop me from looking again. Who the hell is Sarah Jones and why did Marcus want me to know about her? I stand on the corner and turn back around contemplating going back to ask Jane if there was anything else but knowing if there was she would have given it to me. I see Edward coming down the street and that decides my course of action.
"Hey sweetheart, need a ride?" He's all smiles today. We have an appointment with the doctor and he's taking me out to dinner afterward.
"I'd go anywhere with you." I say hoping in.
"What's that?"
"Oh, it's um, Jane gave it to me saying she thought it belonged to me." Edward looks confused at my facial expression.
"Okay?"
"I guess she found this while cleaning out Marcus's things."
"What is it?"
"Just a name."
"And that's… I mean, Marcus had meant to give that to you?" He's concerned; I can see it written all over his face.
"I guess so, I mean it must be." I point to where my name is written and he glances at it before returning his eyes to the road.
"That's a good thing though right? I mean, Marcus wanted to help so if he thought this was important then we at least have something to go on." He says after several minutes.
"Yeah." We're both silent for the rest of the ride to the Doctor's office. Once we arrive and Edward turns off the car he looks to me.
"Sweetheart, I know I promised you dinner but can we just pick something up and take it home? I really think we should see if we can figure this out."
"I was thinking the same thing." The appointment with the doctor goes well. My blood pressure is still high but the good thing is that there wasn't any protein in the urine sample so that eased some of Edward's fears.
"So Google?" Edward asks as he's already typing the name in his laptop. I've opened my container of kung pao chicken at the same time Emma smells it and makes a b-line for my lap meowing all the way.
"It's as good a place to start as any." An hour or so later after we wracked our brains and nothing noteworthy comes up for a name as common as Sarah Jones we head to bed feeling a little more than discouraged.
A few weeks later having some time to kill between the class I teach and the class I'm taking I head to the campus library. I start a new search for Sarah on the library computer. Even though we haven't found anything yet, I have to keep trying.
"Hello Bella." I nearly jump as I was so engrossed in the search. I turned around in my seat to see my old professor standing there.
"Hi professor, how are you?" We hadn't really seen each other since the time she put me in touch with Frank and Caroline.
"I'm well, thank you. Are you here doing research for your next book?" She nods towards the computer but her eyes widen slightly when they land on the screen before jumping back to me.
"No, it's more of a….. personal sort of thing." She blinks and shake her head a few times likes she didn't hear a word I said. Her eyes delayed on the screen.
"You're not planning to include this in a book are you? Frank doesn't like to talk about what happened and Sarah isn't….." She stopped speaking while giving me look that says she doesn't think that it would be a good idea.
"I'm not…..wait, Frank as in Varner? What does he have to do with…?" I trail off. I'm not even really sure what she means and when I turn back around to face the screen I'm still just as confused.
"Professor, I don't know what you're referring to."
"Bella, I can't tell you what to do but I think it's best just to leave this one alone. Frank is very private when it comes to Sarah and I think it would open up old wounds that are better left closed."