"You really should talk to Jack."

Those had been the last words his brother had said as he had left for the restaurant this morning. Since then the house had been too quiet. He wasn't use to the quietness anymore. There was a time when he had loved it. Had enjoyed living on his own. Then he had let Pacey move in with him and he realized that it wasn't so much that he wanted to be on his own but more that he just didn't want to be in his parent's house anymore. Needed freedom from all the pressures and bad memories of his childhood.

To make things worse, he knew Pacey was right. He really did need to talk to Jack. Things couldn't be left the way they were. No matter where he chose to go from here, Jack at least deserved a explanation. An explanation for everything. If there was any chance for them, either now or later on, things had to be talked out.

Jack had been right in that he had shut him out. Hadn't giving him a chance to be there for him during all of this but then letting people be there for him had never been one of his strong suits. He had his father to thank for that. Actually, come to think of it, his mother wasn't all that better of a role model. He could count the times she had hugged him on one hand. It wasn't that she had been a terrible mother, he knew she loved him. Loved all of them. She just was demonstrative with that love.

Having Pacey move in with him, had showed him how much like his parents he was becoming. He kept people at arms length. If he didn't let them near him then they couldn't hurt him. Having to become a parental figure of sorts in Pacey's life when his little brother was in highschool had made him face that part of him. It hadn't taking him long to realize that if he wanted to help his brother than he had to reach out to him. Let his defenses down and let Pacey get close to him and when he had he realized just how much he had been missing.

Still old habits died hard. He would still rather deal with things on his own than to let someone help him.

That still didn't mean he knew how to handle the situation with Jack. The fact was, Jack had tried to deny that anything like this would happen. Just assumed that everyone would be fine with a gay sheriff. Didn't want to admit that not everyone was open minded.

He had known this could happen. Had seen hate crimes occur ever since he put on this uniform. It was just a fact of life, that people did not always see eye to eye and that some people would kill just because someone did not share their point of view. Still, it had never crossed his mind that he might someday be the victim of a hate crime.

Nor had he ever thought that Jeff Taylor would be the perpetrator of that crime. He had known Jeff for years. Ted, Jeff and him had been good friends and Doug had always felt that he could trust them with his life. That no matter what, he would always be able to turn to them for help.

This whole incident had shown him how wrong that assumption was. Jeff apparently hadn't felt the same way. No matter how hard he tried, Doug couldn't understand it. Couldn't understand how someone he thought he knew so well could turn on him like that. Then there was the other nagging doubt. If he had been so wrong about Jeff, was he wrong about Ted too? This whole mess had shaken his trust in everyone.

The sound of the doorbell broke through his thoughts. He looked up at the clock on the wall and saw that it was six o'clock in the evening. Sic o'clock and he hadn't left the house. Hadn't even tried calling Jack or Ted or anybody for that matter. Hadn't bothered with calling his mother back who had left three messages on the answering machine.

Ignoring the doorbell, just as he had the phone, crossed his mind. He simply wasn't sure if he was ready to face anyone yet. Yes, he had decided not to resign but he still had doubts about that decision. Had doubts that he could actually leave the safety of the house again because whether he admitted to anyone or not he couldn't hide from himself. The simple truth was he was scared. Scared to face the aftermath of what he had gone through. It was a new feeling for him. The last time he had ever felt this way was with coming out into the open with the relationship that he had with Jack, but this seemed worse than even that.

He heard the doorbell again, followed by someone knocking on the door. Whoever was out there, it didn't seem like they were simply going to just go away.

With a sigh, Doug stood up from the couch and headed for the front door, wondering who it was.

'It's probably Mom', Doug thought to himself as he neared the front door. He probably really should have called her back. Let her know that everything was okay.

Reaching out and pulling the door open, he was surprised to see Ted Hipkins standing on the other side of the screen door.

"Ted, hi," Doug said trying to get over his surprise. Although maybe he shouldn't be surprised. Ted was probably wondering if he was going to resign or not. "Come in," Doug told him stepping aside.

Ted opened the screened door and walked inside. It wasn't the first time he had been at Doug's house but it was the first time he felt awkward about it.

"Doug I think we need to talk."

"I'm not going to resign if that's what your wondering about," Doug told him.

"I'm glad to hear it," Ted told him," but that isn't why I came over here."

"Why don't we go into the living room," Doug suggested, gesturing toward the doorway with his arm. He started following Ted when the telephone rang. "Let me get the phone and I'll be right in. Make yourself comfortable," Doug told his friend and headed for the phone in the kitchen.

Looking at the caller ID he saw his Dad's name and the house phone number on the screen. She seemed surprised that the phone had even been picked up.

"Hello."

"Oh Doug! Did you just get home or something?" came his mother's voice over the phone.

"Yeah," he lied to her. He didn't feel like explaining to her that he had been avoiding her phone calls and just hadn't felt like calling her back. He didn't think he could make her understand. "I took a walk to clear my mind."

"Okay," she said accepting the explanation because she wanted to. She had no desire to question it. "I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay. That you didn't need anything."

"I'm fine Mom. I actually have company over so can I call you back later."

"Yeah sure. I love you Doug."

"Love you too Mom," he told her before hearing the soft click of her hanging up. Putting the receiver back in its cradle he turned for the living room, taking a deep breath. Trying to figure out if he was ready to face even his best friend, cause try as he might, he couldn't deny that he had doubts about this friendship too. He had thought Jeff was his friend. That nothing could change that friendship. He had been completely wrong about that. Was he about this friendship too?

Walking into the living room, Doug saw Ted standing by the fire place his back toward him. Ted had a picture in his hand. Doug knew instantly which one it was. It was the picture of Ted, Jeff, and himself on the senior class camping trip. The three musketeers their classmates had jokingly called them.

"What I wouldn't give to go back there sometimes," Doug said softly walking over toward the fireplace himself. "Things were so much simpler then. More black and white."

"He had us both fooled Doug," Ted said putting the picture back up on the mantle. "I never would have thought he would do something like that. Could betray you, the force and the friendship that the three of us had just like it all meant nothing."

A silence fell on the room. Ted turned and looked at Doug. Tried to read his friend's. He didn't like what he saw there. Sadness, desperation, hurt. His friend looked completely loss and Ted wasn't sure what to do about it. Wasn't even sure where he stood with his friend anymore. Jeff had betrayed him and Ted knew that Doug had to be questioning all of his friendships now. Knew he would be if their situations were reversed.

"I'd never turn my back on you like that Doug. No matter what. I hope you know that."

"Sometimes I don't know what to think anymore Ted," Doug told him wanting to believe those words but scared to at the same time.

"Look I've said it before, I know I haven't been that supportive the last few months. I regret that but there isn't much I can do about it now. But just because I may not approve one hundred percent about the way you choose to live your life, that doesn't mean that we can't be friends. I haven't been that great of a friend here lately but I want to change that. I want to help you through this anyway I can."

"When you came out into the open with your relationship with Jack, I thought I lost my best friend. That I didn't know who you were anymore. Then I really did almost lose you and I realized it wasn't so much about seeing you as a different person as it was worry about how other people would see me. Your friendship is worth more than that Doug. I'm sorry and I hope that we can still be friends."

"Best friends," Doug told him a wave of relief washing over him as he stepped forward to give Ted a quick hug. It was a sign that things may actually get back to some kind of normalcy.

"So how are things between you and Jack?" Ted asked. It was a question he had never asked before and one that should have been asked often. There wasn't a day that went by that Doug hadn't asked about his wife Beth.

"Kind of up in the air," Doug admitted.

"Want to talk about it?" Ted asked seeing the look of doubt that passed quickly over Doug's face even though he tried to hide it. "I'm serious. Talking about it to someone might help make things a little clearer."

Doug nodded and indicated the nearby couch. The too of them sat down and things between the two of them worked out, started sorting through the other things that were going through Doug's mind.