When Destiny Calls
A Dragon Age Story
Author's Notes: Many thanks to the writers and developers of the original Dragon Age storyline, without which, this story wouldn't be possible. This chapter was especially challenging, but fulfilling in it's own way. I hope that everyone enjoys what's to come! I'd like to thank everyone for the support!
Chapter 26 – Past Mistakes
I was amazed at how far the tunnel extended. It didn't occur to me before how much effort must've gone into it's digging. We must've walked for at least half a candlemark, Morrigan leading the way, with her improved senses. I was very impressed with her skill at shapeshifting. She made it seem effortless, though I knew that was only due to a lifetime of practice. It was eerie, our footsteps echoing through the tunnel was the only sound to be heard. By our ears, at any rate.
Finally, we came to the end of the line. A stone wall stood before us. Obviously it was a secret door to the dungeons of the Castle. All we needed to do was open it. "Any ideas on getting past this part?" Came Alistair's whisper. A flash of light made us jump. Morrigan stood ahead of us, having returned to her human form. "There is no danger immediately beyond the door, though I could hear a human breathing. Most likely a prisoner or captive." She sounded very sure. I knew better than to question her resolve.
"Alright, we've done well so far. I think that a good push will open the door, though we'll need to try and make it as quiet as possible. I'd rather not let anyone hear us get in." I said, Morrigan and Alistair nodded their agreement. Wynne stepped forward. "It might be wise for us to dispel our Mage Lights. Once the door is open, anyone would be able to see them. No matter how quiet we are." I nodded once. "Very well. Morrigan, I would prefer for you to stick with your human form for now. You're not the most inconspicuous when you switch." Morrigan gave no reply, though I did sense that she was content to stay as she was anyway.
After dowsing our Mage Lights, I placed my palms upon the stone, as did Alistair. Together, we were able to slide the door open. A slight creak was the only noise that it produced. So far so good. The four of us snuck into the corridor as quiet as a pack of wolves on the hunt. There were lit torches that lined both sides of the corridor, all the way to the staircase at the end that, no doubt, led up to the rest of the Castle.
We crept forward, glancing in each cell as we passed them. I hoped that there wouldn't be anything in these cells that would cause problems for us. There was a cough ahead of us, and we stopped suddenly. All of us, but Alistair it seemed. He stumbled into me, knocking me to the ground with a thud that echoed through the corridor. I froze, and waited in the silence that followed. After a moment, a voice called out, a voice that I knew all too well.
"Is someone there?" My heart stopped. I never expected to hear that voice again. I had all but forgotten how I felt when I heard it. Alistair, unbeknownst to him, helped me forget. "Hello? Is anyone out there?" The voice echoed through the corridor yet again. I stood and stepped toward the source of the voice, finding myself unable to respond vocally.
As my eyes met the man to whom the voice belonged, recognition came to his eyes, just as it was in mine already. "Toryn? By the Maker! I knew thought I'd see you again!" Jowan exclaimed. I found my voice then. "Jowan? What are you doing here?" My voice cracked, old wounds opening once again. Wynne and Alistair stepped forward on either side of me. "Oh my." Wynne whispered, having heard what had transpired so long ago in the Tower. Jowan's eyes widened. "Wynne." His voice was almost inaudible.
"You all know each other?" I heard Alistair ask. Wynne and I both nodded, though it was Wynne who answered. "Jowan was an Apprentice of the Circle, until it was proven that he was a maleficar." I wasn't sure if I was pleased with her answer. Alistair stiffened, his training as a Templar instilling a deep distrust and dislike for Blood Mages, as I already knew. Morrigan, however, seemed intrigued, or so I sensed. Alistair turned to Wynne. "Maleficars are to be sent away or killed. How did he end up here?" Wynne glanced at me for a moment before turning her gaze back to Jowan.
"That's a long story actually." Jowan started. I tried to keep myself from shaking. So this is what Azkedelia had hinted to me about my past. I suddenly realized what choice I had to make. "Well," I began, "You can skip the parts that I'm already aware of. Why are you in Redcliffe." A thought hit me. "Are you responsible for what's happening here?" Jowan lowered his head. "I am to blame for what's happening, for my part." I suddenly felt angry.
I leapt at the bars that separated him from us, my hands grasping the metal bars as sparks shot from me, crawling over the bars. "What have you done, Jowan! You swore to me that you didn't want to hurt anyone!" I shouted at him. Jowan had fallen on his back from shock, mostly due to my leaping at him. From the corner of my eye, I noticed that Alistair's eyes were widening. My past was coming back to haunt me after all. Alistair made it clear when I sparred Marina in the Tower that he didn't approve. What would he think when he learned that she wasn't the first Blood Mage that I lent assistance to?
"I didn't mean for this to happen, Toryn! I swear it!" He began, but I didn't allow him to continue. "You've used that against me once before, Jowan! I can't believe I ever trusted you! What did you do?" I shouted, the volume of my voice making my companions uneasy. If anyone was nearby, they would no doubt hear me. However, I couldn't keep my anger in check. I didn't know what made me more angry – his second betrayal of my trust, or my foolishness for having faith in his heart.
"You don't know the whole story!" He was pleading to me now, probably realizing that I felt very little compassion for him at this time. "Then talk fast, Jowan. I'm in a hurry." I snarled at him. He stood, and walked towards me. "I was asked to help, by the Lady Isolde. Her son, Conner, he's a mage." I heard Alistair gasp. "Conner? That can't be." Jowan nodded. "It's true. Isolde asked me to train him, to teach him enough to keep his gift from being discovered by the Circle. You know what would happen to him if they found out."
Wynne spoke this time. "He would be taken to the Tower, and Redcliffe loses it's only heir." It was beginning to make a little sense, but so much wasn't explained. "Then why are you locked in here?" I asked, my voice still carrying anger. Jowan sighed. "For poisoning the Arl." I stumbled back at his words. He poisoned the man that raised Alistair? I couldn't bring myself to believe it. Alistair may lose the only father he had ever known because of my mistake.
It was Alistair's turn to get angry this time. "YOU! It was you! Why?" He growled, making both Jowan and myself shake from fear. Jowan, for poisoning the man, and myself for paving the road that Jowan chose. Wynne looked at me in shock. She was thinking along the same lines, I was sure of it. Morrigan stood silently, fulfilling her role as the silent observer. She had no doubt pieced together the connection already. I knew her well enough, and she knew me.
Jowan coughed again as he began to explain. "I was hired to infiltrate the Castle and get to the Arl. The fact that Isolde needed a mage to train her son made that a lot easier for me." Alistair threw a fist into the stone wall next to the cell door. "Who hired you?" His voice was sharp, and unforgiving. Jowan would be lucky if Alistair left him alive at this point. "I was told that the Arl was a threat to Ferelden. Loghain told me to be subtle..." Alistair stopped for a moment, and turned towards us. "That bastard! He's planning on taking complete control for himself! He's taking out Cailan's most loyal followers!" He exclaimed.
"It certainly makes sense, though the man is very sloppy. Hiring an inexperienced, exiled apprentice hardly seems the best choice for an assassin." Morrigan interjected. "Do you know how the dead have been awakened, Jowan? Is that your doing?" Wynne asked, her voice small, but still calm. Jowan shook his head. "That's not my doing. I'm not sure how that happened." Something Jowan said previous caught in my mind. "You said that you were training Conner to keep his gift in check, correct?" I inquired.
Jowan simply nodded, obviously aware that I had more to ask than just that. "Is it possible that he learned enough from you to do this himself?" I asked, to which Alistair objected strongly. "Do you honestly believe that this Blood Mage is telling us the truth, Toryn? He can't be trusted!" I stood firm as I replied. "I know when people lie to me, Alistair. He's telling us the truth." Turning back to Jowan, I gestured for him to answer my question.
"I don't see how he could be responsible for this. I don't even know how to awaken the dead. And certainly not in numbers like this." I felt my shoulders slump. "Then there must be some other explanation for this madness." Jowan looked at me, his eyes meeting mine. I knew instantly what he was about to say. "Listen, Toryn. I know I haven't given you a reason to trust me, but I want to help. This is my fault, and I can't just sit here and do nothing." Alistair scoffed, "You honestly think we'd free you? I'd sooner cut your throat myself for the damage you've done." Jowan frowned.
"I know that I'm asking for a lot. I want to prove myself, Toryn. Give me a chance to fix this." He pleaded at me, ignoring Alistair. My heart cracked from the strain. I felt my eyes begin to water. I knew that I shouldn't even consider this, but a part of me couldn't help but want him to prove that he was a good man, despite everything he had done. Morrigan stepped forward. "He is a mage of decent power and experience. He could be of some use." Alistair immediately snarled at her. "I don't think so. I refuse to allow him to walk free. The only use he can be will to be an example for all maleficars." Wynne coughed, no doubt feeling uncomfortable with all the tension that had filled the corridor.
"I can not condone your actions, Jowan. You must take responsibility for your actions." She said, the disappointment evident in her voice. I felt a flood of fear hit me. Jowan was sincere about wanting a chance to redeem himself. My heart went out to him. After all the chaos he had caused, I felt sorry for him. I froze, as I felt a presence pass through my mind. It was Azkedelia. :How you deal with the events of your past will impact your future. Remember that you heart will guide you, so long as it remains true.: The very words that she had spoken to me in my dream came back in a flash. I knew what I had to do, though it may very well cost me as much, if not more, as it did the last time I made this choice.
I pulled from my source, channeling the raw power into a manageable form. I threw an Arcane Bolt towards Jowan's cell. Shock passed over everyone as the bolt destroyed the lock that held Jowan in place. Alistair stormed towards me. "What are you doing? You can't set him free, Toryn!" Even Wynne looked concerned. "Toryn, are you sure you want to make this choice?" – Again – she no doubt wanted to say. I turned away from everyone, and rested my forehead on the cold stone in front of me. "The choice is made. Jowan is free to help in any way he sees fit. However," I turned, a new surge of anger began to flow through me as I faced Jowan. "Make no mistake, Jowan. This is the last chance that I am going to offer you. One more mistake, one more betrayal of my trust, and I will put you down myself." I said slowly, my anger stunning him.
"Now, get out of my sight!" I shouted at him. He wasted no time in rushing out of his cell, and up the stairs into the Castle. There was a very uncomfortable silence, as Alistair fumed. Morrigan stepped up to me, and placed a hand on my shoulder. "I know you did what you felt was best, Toryn." I flinched as Alistair's angry voice began to reach my ears. "What was best? Are you kidding me? That man poisoned Eamon! He probably taught Conner how to do this to keep the blame from himself, and you think you've done what was best! I thought I knew you, Toryn. Turns out, you aren't the man I thought you were." His words cut deep into me, and I had no excuse. I knew that he was probably right.
I turned and walked up the staircase without saying another word, as Alistair stood silently and firmly below. I heard footsteps following me, and without looking, I knew that it was Morrigan that was stalking me. She was the only one who probably understood why I did what I did. I finally stopped at the end of the hallway that the staircase led up to. I didn't know what to say or do, and I felt myself losing my resolve. As I dropped to my knees, I knew that I had probably just ruined my friendship with Alistair. As tears fell down my face, I realized that I didn't even know exactly why.
Morrigan sat in front of me, and extended her arms around me, holding me as I wept. The betrayal, the loss of trust from Alistair, and the disappointment from Wynne was beginning to cut my soul into pieces. Through my sobbing, I vaguely heard Morrigan's comforting voice. "There, there, Toryn. You did the right thing. I know you did. It will turn out all right." A part of me wondered how this could possibly be the same cold, uncaring woman that I found in the Korcari Wilds. I could find no response but one. "I never asked for this." My voice was barely a whisper through my tears. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do, Morrigan."
"No one expects you to, Toryn. We'll all make it through this. We may disagree, but the four of us are stronger than a disagreement, such as this. Trust me on this. You aren't the only one that a certain Spirit of the past visits." She whispered into my ear, stunning me into silence. "Wh-what?" I stuttered. She smirked at me, and wiped my face dry. "Come. Our companions are about to join us." She said, leaving me with more that I didn't understand than before.
True to her word, no sooner did I get back on my feet that Alistair and Wynne climbed the last stair. Alistair walked up to me, still upset, but not as angry as he was. Clearly Wynne had said something to him. "Wynne told me that you two were like brothers, Toryn. I still don't approve of what you did, but if I was in your shoes, I might've done the same. Make no mistake, though. If Eamon dies, so does Jowan." He said to me. I nodded. "A life for a life sounds fair, I suppose. I promise you, Alistair, I will not stand in your way. Should Eamon die from Jowan's actions, I will help you track him down." I swore to him. He nodded only once, but that was enough to calm my nerves for the time being.
"You still have to explain to me your thinking regarding him. If nothing else, I need to know why you trust him." His voice was still cold, but it no longer carried the strength of his anger towards me that I had witnessed just moments ago. I sighed. "I will, when we have more time, Alistair. It's – complicated." An eyebrow raised on his face. "I figured as much. Now, let's get going. We need to do what we came here to do." He began walking towards the door that stood between us and the rest of the Castle.
I was still shaking as I followed him through the door. There were several dark secrets of mine that I would have to tell him now that I had made the choice that I knew I had to make. I wasn't ready for Alistair to know them, I wasn't sure if I would ever be ready. However, as one choice leads to another, I knew that I had to now. Once we got out of this Castle, Alistair would know much more about me than I ever really meant for anyone to know. He would also be the first that would know me from my own words. I didn't know which I disliked more: The fact that Wynne and Morrigan seemed to know from instinct about me, or the fact that I would be telling Alistair myself. I would know soon enough.