Project Powerpuff: Declassified

by xbriannova

Told in a mix of declassified/stolen documents and narratives from many perspectives, Project Powerpuff: Declassified is a gritty and mostly realistic re-imagining of The Powerpuff Girls, chronicling the days from long before the creation to long after. COMPLETED

26. A Quick Note on the Girls' Hair

A Quick Note on the Girls' Hair

DOC: 6 DEC 1988

Background: In preparation for the Week 2 General Meeting, I just thought I should give the Girls a haircut. While I will never equal the grace and skill of a barber, I believe I can do a very good job just trimming their hair.

Desc: I experimented with Buttercup first, sitting her in a chair with a sheet wrapped around her. 'Is it going to hurt?' that poor innocent girl had asked, no doubt affected by all the experiments I have to do to her. I told her that it would not, because there are no nerves in hair. Anyway, moving on…

I tried using a normal pair of scissors. Small and made of stainless steel. Imagine my surprise when it wouldn't cut the Girls' hair! Sensing another opportunity to discover more about my amazing little Girls, I picked one single strand out to try to cut it with the small stainless steel scissors, but even a single strand was able to withstand steel!

I told Buttercup and her siblings to stay in the balcony, and I raced down to the lab to pick up my collection of harder-than-steel scalpels, the ones I used to test the Mohs rating of their skin. Anyway, to cut the long story short, even the Girls' hair are harder than diamonds. Only Crude Duranium and Refined Duranium can cut them.

Knowing that I will probably do badly as a barber with only scalpels for barbering, I've decided to postpone their haircut. I've placed an order for Duranium scissors and razors from the Institute in addition to surgical tools - Talk about the world's most expensive haircut!

But there's more to this. Yes. I tried fire. Don't ask me how I came up with the idea. I lit a matchstick and held it under Buttercup's hair. I only succeeded in burning my fingertips, not her hair. It appears that their hair, and perhaps by extension, the Girls themselves, are flame retardant. I will have to investigate this further, but it will make for a challenging experiment to plan and set up, especially if I want to know the sensation the Girls would feel while a fire is licking at them, even if they cannot be damaged by it.

Anyway, I think I've done more damage by exposing the Girls to fire. I will have to watch them more closely least they try to play with it and set The House on fire.