Chapter 26- "Test After Test"
"Do you remember the wedding?" Dean inquires.
There is no answer.
"Do you remember your last name?"
Still nothing.
"Do remember my name?"
Finally Keera responds. Her eyes drop from the ceiling- scowling. "For the last time! I. Do. Not. Know. You!"
Dean sighs, flips over the notebook page and continues down a list of more questions. "Can you tell me where you were born?"
Nothing.
"Do you recall any of your District members from the Game?"
Keera at least begins to rub her temple at this, a headache already forming. It had been two weeks of this stuff. Everyone was growing tired of it.
"Who is your babies father?"
"Ashton!" She snarls, dropping the hand- these are the only question she answers. The ones he repeats, the ones that she thinks she knows for certain. Others she doesn't answer, because she does not know.
Dean stares back at her evenly, glances down at the next question and then back up. "What was your victor talent?"
Keera's face blanked.
"Can you tell me, how old you are?"
"Eighteen!"
Dean nods. "How far along are you in your pregnancy?"
"Nearly five full months."
"What is the gender you want?"
Keera's face becomes puzzled. "Why do you ask me such stupid things?"
"We must know everything about you Keera, about what you allow yourself to know- before we can help." The statement is honest, some doctors watching and taking notes, wince. Because they wouldn't have been so truthful- because like predicted, Keera began shouting.
"I am not broken! I am fine, you are trying to trick me. Stop it! Please, bring me my husband!"
Dean shakes his head, and then locates the next line of question.
"Can you tell me..."
A week later, there is no progress. Billions of notes and questions taken- but no result in her mind. She is still resolute on her beliefs. Caleb is still stands outside of her view- he has abandoned all duties in the war.
But the war is slow at this point. The District's are still holding. Two regained control- they fight the rebels. A new grounds of fighting broke out in District 7. District 13 does not dare take the Capitol until they secure both. They have time, Caleb prays. Keera... needs time.
As does Peeta. Though he is healing faster then Keera seems to. He still doesn't know what's real or not, but at least now he begins to accept some truths- while Keera merely has an episode whenever something is forced upon her.
There was a long debate over this, but finally- after the philologist pushed and pushed it- Peeta and Keera were scheduled to meet.
They both reacted in kind to seeing each other. Peeta seemed happy to, he also knew the truth now about her being lied to- that he believed. Keera was relived. She wanted to know of Ashton, she thought Peeta could help with that- though everyone has agreed not to tell her Ashton is dead, until after she realizes she doesn't love him.
Caleb was anxious about Peeta meeting with Keera. Because he had seen Peeta snap, he has seen that instant where Peeta would lose himself- and he feared he could harm Keera. As also the doctors couldn't risk any more seizures. There are so many the body and baby can take..
Dean was standing at the door, he watched Keera- with hard eyes. She was staring desperately at him, waiting and impatient. Antsy for Peeta's arrival.
They had taken care to restrain her, in case she had a seizure- this was she could do less damage physically by falling or something. She tugged at the straps, but otherwise hadn't complained.
Peeta stood behind the glass, his hands were cuffed- as he is still not totally trusted- but otherwise his face is calm. Caleb stood at his side, glancing around uncertainly- deep blue shadows marring under his eyes, hair unruly, clothes from two days passed.
Finally after a prep talk about avoiding Caleb and Ashton and most of all Sirius or Eric. As they seemed to bring on the worst pain... Peeta was allowed in.
Dean stepped aside to admit him, and then returned back in his spot at the door- just in case- while Peeta walked lightly into the room.
Keera took in his healthier state first, then the cuffs. Otherwise- she practically lifted herself out of the cot. "Peeta!" She gasps, obviously happy- there was a slight mist of tears in her eyes. "How are you? Have they been hurting you? Oh gods!" Her voice broke. "Do you know where Ashton is?"
Peeta shook his head, attempting a grin, and his blue eyes were a light with an emotion of pity- when his eyes locked with hers- Keera very obviously stiffened.
"I'm alright. Healthy as a horse you see." He jingled the chains on his cuffs halfheartedly. "Don't worry about me- the rebels are very nic-"
"Peeta! No!" Keera gasps, her face falling. "Don't let them-"
"They aren't tricking us Keera, they are telling us the-" His voice became slightly forced, showing his lack of complete health. "Truth."
"No!" Keera is horrified, fear crawling up her for once. How could they have tricked Peeta? She thought. "Don't listen to them."
Peeta sighs- slightly and he turns to look at the guard. "I trust Dean."
Keera's face scrunches up so tightly she looks like a child about to bawl. "That is not his name. We do not know him, Peeta!"
Well yes, Peeta doesn't know Dean- but she does. And no one has told her Dean's name yet, just continued to use him as the speaker. Dean is the only person she has seen since she has been here. The doctors that see her, are only when she is unconscious or seizing. Which she wouldn't recall either events. Peeta had been told to say his name, at least once.
Again Peeta, just shrugs, and he walks even closer- until he is standing just in front of her. "Keera-"
"Katniss, where is Katniss?" She suddenly hisses, through an intense headache. That Dean's name caused.
Just as the doctors had feared- she mentioned Katniss, and Peeta's face grew blank. His eyes darkened- but his hands shook too, which meant he is fighting it. The up roar of anger and murderess feelings that the Capitol had bleed into him.
"Have you seen her? Is she changed like Snow said she was?" Keera continued to hiss and suddenly the doctors ordered Dean to separate them. "D-Does she love that boy? Gale." Keera eyes are bright with anger, they are flamed with indignation. "Don't let them get you Peeta! Don't let them betray you!" Her voice is howling, and Dean rushes to Peeta's shaking, almost transfixed form.
Dean grabs him by the shoulders, and begins to drag his stumbling body back. Keera continues. "Run Peeta! Run. Before they kill you, before they do worse then that and make you lose your mind! Hide, fight it! Just don't let them get you!" Peeta does not even struggle in Dean's grasp as he drags him towards the door, and they are nearly out the thresh hold when Keera hefts herself up, leanings over the cot, held into place by the restraints. "Peeta, have faith. Do not crack, you can not break. Keep your mind to yourself, do not let them shatter it- it is our only hope!"
And then the door was slammed shut- Peeta began fighting his guard, but was swarmed and dragged off back to his own room. Keera though, her face fell blank, all her emotions faded and she went limp against the cot. Eyes trained on the ceiling.
Caleb stared at her though, transfixed also- by her words. The doctor buzzed and argued about what a terrible idea this had been, Dean was ordered back into the room- to try and fish something out of this encounters.. when suddenly Caleb shook his head, slipping in front of the door. His back pressed against it as his tired, but suddenly thoughtful face was staring at them.
"No." He rasped. "I-I think she just told us something.." His eyes wondered back to the window, staring at her face. "She.."
He hesitated, because his mind struggled to untangle her words to Peeta- but the doctors listened readily. As he began in a slow way. "You know how you said she's not letting herself remember- but maybe she isn't." His hands raised to run through his hair and his words picked up in speed. "I've been thinking about it and Keera would never willingly do anything, unless she had a purpose. Maybe she knew they would take her. Maybe she- she planned this but not completely."
"Planned what?" One of the doctors inquired, half following along.
Caleb looked up at him. "Planned her own forgetfulness. She feared to lose her mind- like she told Peeta now. Maybe she forgot because she knew Snow wanted this, or would want it. She said-said... something about her only hope. Keera never has hope, either she has it or not. She doesn't allow want.." His voice became more thoughtful now, as he got further into his theory. "But maybe she clung to the pain or damage – or maybe her body did it without her permission. Maybe it forgot for her, and she allowed it, sort of. Like you told me, about the preservation thing, maybe it forgot- to make sure she lived. And now.. now it just doesn't remember how to reverse it. It fights itself.."
"And causes her seizures!" One of the doctors exclaims.
"And her headaches- her brain is literally fighting its own war." Comments another.
"But there has to be some weakness, since she has to remember some things. Something likes her baby, and her name.."
Another doctor- whose face lit up muttered. "With that we could make connections!"
Varies of calls and exclamations were around the room in an instant. Others complicated Caleb's tired guess, and some simplified it. They argued, threw themselves into other theories, twisted it around, used bigger words then Caleb ever could have- but there was a definitely lighter air in the room.
Caleb though, only sighed, his face contorted in pain- and his eyes fell closed. They flickered a couple times, as he tried desperately to open them, but he couldn't. They were beyond his control. It was a fight he could not win.
It was obvious he has not slept more then an hour in the passed six days. Dean clapped a hand on his shoulder and he jumped, but only five minutes later- when his brain finally registered it. His eyes opened in a half closed way, all his energy devoted to keeping them open, while the door behind him kept him propped up.
"I-I'm st-stwaying." The boy claimed, his voice slurred. Dean shook his head and Caleb could not even protest and he began to drag him from the room. The doctors noticed with satisfaction, they have been trying for days to get the boy to sleep, but whenever they pushed it too much he would get irritated, or pretend to leave and sleep- but sneak in a while later.
Dean dragged him all the way to his bed and forced him down. But he could not keep him there until he promised to retrieve him when something happens, and that he will be woken before the next encounter with her.
But it wasn't until seventeen hours later, was he woken- after the doctors, had went through every possible thought. And he was only a wake for a few seconds. They told him, their new test- of trying to just slightly trigger a connection of a memory, to her. And they were going to need him this time... but he must sleep longer- and so they slipped medicine into his mouth.
Caleb was out cold for three days.
...
I counted the drops to the ivy needle. That's what I always do- count the drops. Slowly, from the second I awake to the second I finally fall away from this hell and that awful man who pretends to know me.
Dean- he calls himself. I nearly scoff, but the name pangs through my mind like I should know it. But that can't be. They are just trying to fool me... aren't they?
Then I pinch my arm. Gnaw on my cheek and my brain throbs, telling me that no. No they are. Count, Keera- just count..
Five hundred, twenty- three... another tiny splatter of liquid... Five hundred twenty-four... like the tick of a clock... Five hundred twenty-five...
I stare at the white ceiling, counting, just counting. It wards off the headache quickly. It calms the baby easily.
The passed three days have been calm, that man has left me well enough alone- just brings me food. I'm starting to think that Snow will never come for me, that they don't have Ashton and he's safe in the Capitol. But then why isn't he urging Snow with everything he's got to come and get me? Is he... then the headache sears back into place and-
Five hundred twenty-six, five hundred twenty-seven, five hundred twenty-eight... Five hundred twenty- nine... Five hundred thirty. Five hundred thirty-one... Five hundred thirty-two...
There is a creak as the door is opened and I do not even look as Dean (no! that man, who says he is named so) approaches me. He walks to my side and then waits- clearing his throat.
Five hundred thirty-three.. Five hundred thirty-four..
"Keera." He states and I roll my eyes before letting them land on his face.
"Have you decided to let me go?" I demand- he shakes his head. "Are you going to bring me to my husband?" I snap then.
"No." He answers and I clenched my jaw.
"Then, you can not say anything I care about..."
"Maybe not me, but someone else has a few things to say." He instantly shot off and I raised an eyebrow- looking behind him. Will they bring Peeta back to me? And again a headache flared behind my ear, at the mention of Peeta now. Maybe this man doesn't cause so much pain anymore, but that is only because he has worn on me.
I instantly make to grab my temple, but the man catches it half way there and he instantly pins my arms down, strapping me in. I cry out in frustration and wiggle, but I am too weak with his beastly figure. Plus my baby weighs me down some, I haven't walked in such a long time- I do not even think I could manage it. With being so awkwardly pregnant now. The bump is big enough for me to hug, but still is relatively small- I adore my child, I can not help but anticipate its arrival- I can't help but sigh in content when it moves around in me, even if it is uncomfortable it reminds me. That I am not alone, it reminds me... that there is hope.
When he finished restraining my legs he stood back a few steps- waved a hand to the mirror, I stared at it, my eyes roaming around it. I wondered who was back there. My mind panged as my thoughts directed to some point in my memory, but a wall of pain blocked me off. I winced- and dropped away my eyes, but not before a voice.. a voice- it echoed around me and the man, from speakers.
"Keera?" It said, and it was male. It was obviously timid at the moment. But it was strong too- it was pleading, needy. It was deep, yet like a sweet sigh. There was longing in it, and then it murmured. "Keera? Keera? What are you doing? What are you thinking?"
My throat got tight. I stared at the ceiling for a minute, and there was something about that voice- that makes it ring through my thoughts. I tried to count the drops but the words echoed around my brain distracting me and tainting any stalling walls of pain. I swallowed, but my mouth was dry.
"Keera." It says again and I felt heat gathering and pressing behind my eyes. Until they sting with tears. "Love, won't you answer me?" They whisper, and I am suddenly overwhelmed- with a headache- but then he said my name again, twice- and I pushed against the wall of fire..
My heart beat faster and I grit my teeth against the headache until suddenly, like a delicate glass wall- it shattered. I was over controlled with another memory though then, it floods all my senses, the room falls away for a minute.
Flashes, of gold, of fingertips on my jaw- and that voice, raw, but brimming with emotion- danced around me. It sang to me. The sounds of the memory blared into my ears, it was all so bitter sweet. My eyes saw repeated snaps of darkness, candle, a wooden table- my tongue tasted salt, salty tears.
And it took me a minute to realize I was crying in the present- because I was suddenly lurched back to it. I vomited too- over the side, the baby kicked me once, hard. But it was panicked. I could just feel my own panic arise, transferring the unwanted stress to the baby.
Everything was overwhelming at once. The headache that suddenly roared up- as if it forgot to earlier, flared to an inferno inside of my temples. But it soon died, it fell away in a second as my thoughts and memory pushed back the usual wall. My eyes saw spots though- and instead of blacking out with my heads pain, like I would..
My throat was on fire. It was sparking to life, itching at first- and I began to cough. And cough, dry and aching. It tingled, like the headache would- but my mind was already passed that point. My mind had already broken down that wall...
But the panic, this new panic, like a failure of a sort, was worse- it made my blood run cold, my stomach want to vomit again, and I gagged on top of the coughing. The baby was squirming, it was discomforting. But it was this panic that ignited the flames crawling up my throat- I laid against the lifted back of the cot, and the boy's voice continued to say things to me, trivial things.
Tears began falling faster and faster- coughing became rougher, that man hovered closer... And my throat suddenly pulsed tighter.
I gasped- but it was cut short as the air was not allowed to enter my lungs. Instantly my hands flew up against the restraint- to reach for my throat- but couldn't. My chest still shook like it was coughing, my mouth open- but nothing came up or in.
An impossibly bigger panic sank in, one that made me fear for my life. It over took the memory that I had fought to get- and my mind went into survival mode. I trashed around, before I could lose all energy, the straps smacked against my skin- Dean began yelling at me.
But I was too lost in this heart retching panic. My arms flinched and jerked around wildly- brighter and brighter the spots in my vision grew, cloudier my thoughts pulsed.
Until I felt hands on me. And one of them unclasped a strap- instantly my arm flung up- I hit others, then it smacked against the skin of my neck, almost painfully, but my nails dug into the skin.
Flinching started to travel against the length of my body, the squirm running down me in waves, fraying my nerves. My energy was lost to me- other hands replaced mine on my throat, there was a deaf ring of voices, bright lights... and then I convulsed, I felt my head grow so light- my lungs ached, seared, hungered for air- and I arched backwards against the sheets.. I felt my chest would burst, when everything went black.
A/N: So you're probably all like -.- 'wtf this is taking forever!' But hey! I can't be like "AND BAM, she remebered." Psh I would be ashamed of that sort of writing. But Yay! Progress, she's fought back her bodies headache defense, but of course it shocked her with a new one: closeing her throat. Erm anywa, review! Thanks for reading. And I'm pretty sure that things will be moving a long in the next chapter... like expects the baby in maybe the one after the next! OH! And so the vote so far is Girl: 4 Boy: 1 Doesn't anyone want a minature Caleb! Psh. Oh well, next update soon. -Taryn(: