Okay here it is chapter 26, hope you like it. This chapter is mostly introspective, the next two or three chapters will be more action packed, promise. Anyway please enjoy and let me know what you think about it and where the story is headed and if there is anything you think could be improved. Thanks again.

Chapter 26 Uncertainties

In silence Aang led the others to the place where he had imprisoned Zuko. His mind was clouded in uncertainty and doubt due to this chilling turn of events. Aang knew in his heart that talking to this evil entity was pointless. It was unlikely that the spirit possessing Zuko was anyone other than Ozai; in which case the entity only wanted one thing, to destroy any chance the world had at achieving balance. Yue had told him that his and Katara's destiny was to restore balance through their children. He knew that Ozai's only goal was to stop that from happening, to prevent their children from ever being conceived. The only thing that Ozai would want in exchange for Zuko's soul would be the death of either Katara or Aang. There was no way Aang was about to let that happen. Deep down Aang knew that the only sure-fire way to free Zuko from his evil father's grip would be to energy bend. He continued, however, to feel anxious about the risks involved. Iroh's words suddenly flashed through his mind

"The person performing this exorcism must be a fully realized and spiritually enlightened avatar. The avatar must be pure of heart and have both a clean soul and spiritual strength. He must hold no ill thoughts toward the host."

Aang sighed heavily as he recalled the conversation. There were two strikes against his success in removing the entity from Zuko. First, his spirit was weakened from being trapped for so long in the avatar state. There was no telling how long it would take him to rebuild his spiritual strength again. This meant that all of their plans to escape the island were temporarily and indefinitely put on hold. However, staying on the island longer left them all open to attack. Second, Ozai had undoubtedly chosen Zuko as his vessel purposely. He had chosen the one person among them all that Aang harbored ill feelings toward.

Aang huffed in frustration as his mind once again was overtaken by his frustration and insecurity. Ever since the moment he had seen Zuko holding Katara in his arms Aang felt hurt. Almost immediately he became angry and defensive toward Zuko. Initially Aang tried his best to hide his emotions because he wasn't sure where he stood. At the time he thought his destiny was to die for Katara and he thought Katara's destiny might be to move on with Zuko. He felt that if he showed his true emotions that it might hinder Katara from ever truly being happy with Zuko. Now that he knew the truth about his and Katara's destiny he seemed unable to hide how everything really made him feel; he was simply unable to mask the frustration and anger he felt because of the triangle he had unwittingly become a part of. Confronting Zuko had only made things worse. He was now faced not only with the knowledge that Zuko was very much in love with Katara but also that the two had very close and had nearly become intimate during Aang's absence. The worst part about this new knowledge, was the fact that Aang could not stop his brain from envisioning Katara in his bed, him touching her body, him kissing her passionately, him holding her close, him pressing his body against hers. All these were things Aang had imagined himself doing with Katara, now it seemed all he could see was Zuko with her instead of himself.

Though the situation had extenuating circumstances, Aang simply could not help but to feel slightly betrayed not only by Zuko but also by Katara. Perhaps his feelings of betrayal were slightly unjustified considering that at that time the world believed he was dead. It was understandable that in Katara's grief she had turned to Zuko. It was even understandable that Zuko had unintentionally fallen in love with Katara in the belief that Aang was dead. What Aang did not understand was why Zuko, now knowing for certain that Aang was alive, had confessed his feelings to Katara or why he had kissed Katara recently both on the ship and on the island. It didn't explain why Aang had sensed more than one awkward moment between them, or that he had saw them together in a heart-felt embrace. Once again Aang recalled Katara's words from the argument earlier.

"Of course I have feelings for Zuko…feelings of friendship." More than anything, Aang wanted to believe that her statement was true, but he remained skeptical that Katara was being entirely honest, not only with him but with herself. Though Aang did not doubt that she loved him, he knew that they would never be able to move forward in their relationship until Katara could face her true feelings for Zuko. He worried that, upon facing her feelings, Katara might choose Zuko in the end. Though Aang believed her when she told him that she loved him, what if she loved Zuko more? He could not help but wonder if she truly did love Zuko…then what? What would that mean in regards to Yue's revelation? Were he and Katara only meant to procreate and nothing more? Were children the only thing they would share; not love, not marriage? His heart grew heavy with all these questions and doubts. He shook his head as he tried desperately to banish these troubled thoughts from his tired brain.

Aang sighed heavily as he tried once again to focus his mind on the task at hand. He honestly didn't know if he would be capable of removing the evil spirit from Zuko without running the risk that he could be possessed. To do this exorcism Aang was required to be impartial to the former fire prince, to hold no ill thoughts toward him. Considering the complicated status of their current relationship Aang wasn't sure that impartiality was even a possibility. The process also required that he enter Zuko's soul. This was something he definitely did not want to do. The last thing he wanted was to be subjected to Zuko's deepest thoughts, memories, or feelings about Katara. Most of all Aang knew that the evil spirit would be able to sense his negative thoughts and feelings toward Zuko. The spirit would see it as a sign of weakness and then use it to its advantage. The evil entity would then have power over him and Aang would not be able to stop it from attaching itself to his soul instead. There was no telling what horrors would befall the world if Ozai was able to possess him.

Aang sighed heavily as he continued on the trail through the woods. He was suddenly distracted by a hand gently grasping his. He looked up briefly to see Katara walking beside him. His heart skipped for a moment but then quickly felt heavy once again. In the midst of his troubled thoughts he was reluctant to her touch. The simple act of affection made his heart ache and he didn't want to deal with that just yet. He smiled weakly in her direction then without a word he gently took his hand from hers and turned his attention back to the trail ahead.

Katara frowned slightly at his action. She assumed that Aang was still upset over the argument they had earlier. She crossed her arms over her chest and silently trailed behind him. She could feel tears welling up in her eyes but she refused to let them fall.

Though Aang had shown remorse for his accusations during the argument and though he seemed forgiving and even kissed her afterward, he had overall remained distant since. She could not help but to feel as though Aang still was not being entirely open about his true feelings. She could tell that there was still so much that he was holding back from her. Guilt and remorse pervaded her heart. It was her fault that Aang was feeling the way he was. If only she had been stronger, if only she had not relied so much on Zuko during her time of grief, perhaps things never would have become so complicated. It made her heart ache to know that the mistake she made had hurt Aang so badly. She hated herself, not just for what had happened with Zuko but because she felt that she had betrayed the only man she ever truly loved. Aang's angry words from their previous argument flashed once again through her mind.

"I hate knowing that Zuko is in love with you…I hate the way he looks at you…I hate him putting his hands on you…I hate knowing what happened between you and him when I was lost…I hate that you care about him at all!"

His words stung her heart but the wounded expression on his face was the worst part. As he gazed upon her she could see tears welling up and in his eyes she could see the agonizing pain her actions had caused him. The familiar ache in her chest returned stronger than ever. She felt as though she were drowning in her own unbearable guilt.

To Katara the intimate moment with Zuko was a terrible mistake that happened in an unintentional moment of weakness. She tried to remember what had happened that had led up to this one moment. For many years she had purposely pushed any thought or memory of it away from her mind. In her guilt she had tried to pretend it had never happened at all.

At the time Aang was missing and everyone believed that he was dead. She of course, refused to believe that Aang was dead. No matter how many people tried to convince her, no matter how crazy they made her feel, she simply could not believe that Aang was gone forever. She called it hope, everyone else called it denial. Though she remained adamant that Aang was still alive, doubts had slowly began to creep into her heart. If he was alive, why had he not returned…if he wasn't dead then what happened to him, where was he? Why hadn't he found a way to let her know he was okay? Why had he not come back for her? The memory of that day flashed through her mind.

…

One day she spent some time alone in the palace courtyard contemplating all these doubts, think about Aang and wishing he was there with her. As she walked along she overheard two maids talking.

"Did you hear," one of the women said to the other, "The Order of the White Lotus has begun an official search for the avatar." Katara could feel her heart fill with hope and joy. Finally she had felt vindicated. At last somebody else believed that Aang was still alive.

"Really," the other woman replied.

"They officially announced it," the first woman went on, "a message was sent to all the water nations leaders requesting that the nations are to report all births in their kingdom…now that they have officially acknowledged the death of Avatar Aang…it won't be long before they find the new avatar." Katara's heart literally dropped to her feet.

"No she whispered to herself, 'no he's not dead…why won't anyone believe me…why have they all given up on finding him? "She could not stop her tears from falling.

She quickly ran from the garden and into her room. She locked herself in and began to cry like she had never cried before. She paced the room frantically as she muddled through all her troubled thoughts. Why wouldn't anyone believe her…why wouldn't anyone listen? Now even The Order of the White Lotus had given up on finding Aang. She felt her heart breaking into a million pieces. She was the only one left still holding on to the hope that Aang was still alive. No one else, not even Sokka believed Aang was alive anymore. Was her hope misguided? Was everyone right? Was she just in denial? Could Aang really be dead?

She clutched her chest as if in sudden and excruciating pain. It felt as if she were losing Aang all over again, accept this time there was no hope of him returning. If it was true, than Aang was gone forever. She would never see his face or his smile again, she would never hear his infectious laugh, she would never get the chance to tell him how she felt, she would never be able to tell him that she loved him. This thought alone was enough to bring her to her knees.

"It's not true," she repeated the phrase over and over as she sobbed uncontrollably. She cried for hours, cried until it felt like she couldn't cry anymore. She cried until her face felt puffy, and her body was exhausted. She laid down upon the floor and stared blankly up at the ceiling of her room. Her eyes closed unwillingly, out of sheer exhaustion her body shut down and she fell into a deep yet troubled sleep. But her sleep was plagued with thoughts of Aang. Visions of his death flashed before her. Her dreams were haunted with memories of their past and visions of the future they would never have.

After what must have been hours she awoke to a darkened room. Her mind and heart still heavy with grief. She sat up slowly, wrapped her arms tightly around her knees and stared blankly through the darkness. Never before had she felt so completely alone…so abandoned…so hopeless. She could not stand the emptiness that consumed her heart. She didn't want to be alone anymore; she didn't want to feel the pain of her broken heart. Her mind came to rest on the only person that seemed to understand her at the time, the only person who didn't try to sugar coat her grief…or judge her seemingly false hopes…Zuko.

She had gone to him in grief with fear of feeling alone. She found herself in his chamber wrapped in his strong arms as he silently comforted her. The warmth of his body soothed her and she found herself longing to be closer to him, if only for the temporary relief from her unbearable heartache. In that moment she felt like she needed Zuko more than ever before. Then it happened without warning, Zuko kissed her softly. A kiss so gentle and full of love, something she had only experienced once before. A kiss similar to the one she had shared with Aang on the day of black sun.

She flashed back briefly to the kiss she had shared with Aang, she remembered how she was caught off guard by it and had reacted as if in shock. Looking back she wished she had told Aang that she loved him the moment it happened. She wished she would have wrapped her arms around him and kissed him back. She could feel her heart ache with the realization that she would never get the chance to kiss Aang again. She would never again share a tender kiss with someone who loved her. In that moment she gazed back at Zuko…he gazed back at her longingly, love and desire emanating from his eyes.

For the first time since she had been in the fire nation she saw Zuko for what he was. He had been there by her side all this time…he was her shoulder to cry on, the only person that had not judged her or made her feel crazy, he had been patient and loving and cared for her well-being. She had been so lost in her grief that she had missed all the signs. She didn't see the truth as she suddenly did now. In that one moment, she knew that Zuko loved her. For the first time in nearly a year her heartache subsided, if only briefly. She didn't stop to think about it…she instinctively leaned forward and kissed Zuko back with all the emotion and fervor that she wished she had kissed Aang back with. Before she knew it they were wrapped tightly in one another's arms, kissing, and touching, their bodies pressed together. She wanted him more than anything. She gripped his shoulders and pulled him closer to her as she tried desperately to numb her pain. Then just as suddenly as the tryst began reality came crashing down upon her. Zuko wasn't Aang. Aang was gone and she could never share this intimate moment with the person she truly loved. The ache in her heart struck like a knife and was ten times worse than it had been before. As if aware of her sudden hesitation, Zuko pulled back from her slightly. He gazed down at her euphorically, the love he felt for her clearly displayed on his face. Then suddenly his expression changed to one of deep sadness and grief. The pain she felt must have been evident to him, he must have seen the heart ache in her eyes. She just covered her face and refused to look at him.

"I'm sorry," he had said solemnly, "I'm so sorry...we can't…I can't…I mean…this isn't right…I'm sorry." He quickly sat up and moved away from her. She shook her head trying desperately to stop her inevitable tears as she remained unmoved upon the mattress.

"It's okay," she sobbed, "I'm sorry too…I shouldn't have come here…this was a mistake…I didn't mean to…."

"You have no reason to apologize," Zuko said tearfully, "it was my fault entirely…please don't blame yourself…I...I shouldn't have let it happen at all...I just." Zuko sighed in frustration. "I'm sorry," he repeated. Katara nodded as she sat up. She pulled her kimono back over her shoulder and stared blankly at the mattress. She nervously tucked her hair behind her ears and crossed her arms tightly over her chest in self-consciousness. Zuko sighed heavily and leaned back up against his headboard. She glanced up nervously in his direction. Zuko was still gazing at her with tear-filled eyes.

"I'm really sorry," he repeated nearly in a whisper, "I don't blame you if you hate me."

"I don't hate you," she whispered in reply, "it was as much my fault as yours…it was a mistake…I'm sorry."

…

Katara sighed heavily as she recalled the far off memory that she had tried so hard to forget. Looking back she remained angry with her self for ever allowing the moment to happen. It was something she would always regret. Always in her heart she still believed that Aang was alive and this fact made the mistake with Zuko that much worse. Though her grief over losing Aang had been a large part of what had happened it didn't change the fact that she had betrayed Aang in the worst way. It didn't change the fact that she would not have stopped Zuko if he hadn't stopped himself. She would have willingly continued, despite the wrongness of the situation, in a vain attempt to quell her unending pain. Not only was this selfish on her part, but extremely unfair to Zuko especially. She had unwittingly used Zuko, he loved her then as he still did now and she had taken his feelings for granted in her desperate attempt to numb her heart. She sighed heavily in frustration.

Not only that, but she continued to feel drawn to Zuko. When he kissed her on the ship and then again on the island, when he had confessed his unending love for her…all these things brought up old emotions and thoughts. It reminded her of the close friendship that they once had shared and the feelings that she needed him returned. She turned to him often since they had begun their quest to rescue Aang. She relied on his comfort and his understanding. She confided in him her concerns and her fears, even though she felt she was being unfair to him. Even though she could see the painful longing in his eyes as he gazed at her. She began to feel as if she were the worst person alive. She loved Aang, she always had, and she always would. But she also had feelings for Zuko and though she tried her best not to, she was hurting them both; Aang by not being fully honest with him and Zuko by unintentionally leading him on.

Katara could feel a lump beginning to form in her throat as she tried desperately to prevent her tears from falling.

"We are here," Aang said firmly as the group approached a clearing in the woods.

To be continued….