Hey, people! Just letting you all know that there are only two chapters left of this story after this one! I hope you guys all enjoy the update :)
"I think you'll regret doing it this way," Jocelyn murmured as she wrapped her arms around her daughters shoulders. "I really think you should at least have some kind of dinner or something."
"It's better this way, mum," Clary repeated for what felt like the umpteenth time. She wasn't entirely sure she believed the statement herself, but she had a feeling that if she had a going away party, or a going away dinner, and she had to see Jace for longer than a few minutes, her resolve would possibly crumble, and she would throw this whole opportunity away just to stay with him.
And she couldn't do that.
She loved him.
He loved her.
And if whatever they had between them was actually real, then it would still be there when she came back.
There was a part of her that was still hoping he would show up on her doorstep and declare that he was going to follow her to LA and get a job because he couldn't stand the idea of being apart from her. That was a stupid fantasy, and she knew that it was exactly that, a fantasy, but that didn't stop the niggle of disappointment as the date of arrival came around and she still hadn't seen Jace since the day he and the boys had helped her move.
But it was for the best.
They both needed distance to figure out how they felt and what they were doing. Not just with each other, but with their lives in general. They were in their twenties, and they were going nowhere in this town. Sure, most of the people they hung around with were in similar positions; jobs that paid the bills and for the drugs and alcohol that they drowned themselves in in the weekend. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't where she wanted herself in ten years time.
She needed to do this.
For herself, and for Isabelle, because Isabelle didn't have the chance to do it for herself.
"What about all of your friends, baby?" Jocelyn was still trying to convince her. "Why don't you just stay one last night, and do something with them?"
"Jocie..." Luke said softly, clearly seeing the torn expression on Clary's face. Jocelyn took in a deep breath and all of a sudden her eyes were flooded with tears. She lunged forward, wrapping her arms around Clary's neck and pulling her in for a tight hug, burying her face in her daughters neck.
"Okay, maybe part of this is just because I don't want my baby to leave," she admitted, sounding tearful. Clary knew her own smile was watery as she nuzzled her mothers shoulder. Luke gave them a few more moments before he wrapped his own arms around the two most important woman in his life. There were a few sniffles before Jocelyn straightened up and pushed her hair away from her damp cheeks. "Alright. So, you've got everything? And you'll call us as soon as you get there, right? The minute you arrive, okay? I want to know that you've arrived safe—"
"Mum," Clary let out a breathless laugh as she put her hands on her mothers shoulders. "I promise I'll call you straight away—even before I get out of the car." Jocelyn nodded and then tipped her head so it was resting on Luke's shoulder. "The moving truck will be at the place in a few hours, so hopefully I'll actually have a bed to sleep on tonight."
"Don't worry, everything will work out," Luke told her, his voice soothing. "You've got everything you need, and so even if there's something wrong with the moving truck, you've got everything to crash for a night on your friends couch if that's what it comes to." Clary took in a shaky breath and nodded. "And just as a going away present from me and your mum," Luke pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and was passing over a couple of notes toward her before she could begin to protest.
"No, come on," Clary began. "You guys have already done so much, ever since Iz—"
"Nothing is too much for you," Luke said earnestly, and he sounded so sweet and sincere that Clary couldn't even start to mock him for the cheesiness of his statement. She was starting to tear up all over again and busied herself with taking the money from Luke's hands and shoving it into her own wallet. "And just so you know, I'm even going to make one of those Facebook thingy's, so that I can keep up with what you're doing." Clary snorted and rolled her eyes.
"Okay," she took in a deep breath. "I just need to stop by the boys house, and then I'm off." Luke and Jocelyn nodded, taking a step back as she opened the drivers door for her car and slid inside. The car was filled with bags and boxes, everything that she could fit so that she only needed to hire a tiny moving truck to take her furniture and a couple of the extra boxes. Her phone was fully charged and her car charger was all ready so that she could listen to music the whole way. She yelled out one last goodbye before reversing down the driveway and starting on the way over to the boys house. Alessia Cara was playing on her stereo and she tapped her fingers on the steering wheel, trying to ignore and swallow down the lump in her throat.
She had said goodbye to her bosses at the cafe, and to her mum and Luke, and then the final step on the tour was the boys. It's not like they all hadn't told her how much they were going to miss her already, but this was the time that she was actually leaving. She was going to be over three hours away from them, which was the furthest she had ever been from the boys who had been there for her through the hardest moments of her life.
This was meant to be her and Isabelle's adventure.
That made Clary's stomach twist in a painful way.
"Clary!" Alec was the first one out of the house when she pulled up at the curb, practically running to her car. The pressure behind her eyes just became more as she got out of the car and he picked her up off the ground, squeezing her so tight that she actually found it hard to breathe for a few seconds there. "You know you can still change your mind, right? I know you've handed in the notice for your house and everything, but you can totally stay here with us—Jordan practically lives at Maia's now, we can kick him out of his room."
"Hey," Jordan protested, him and Magnus coming up behind the two of them. "I resent that."
"But if it means that our girl gets to stay?" Magnus reasoned. Jordan pursed his lips and the nodded.
"Okay, but only for you, Clare Bear," Jordan agreed. Clary was still in Alec's arms but she managed a smile over his shoulder at the two boys. Simon and Jace came out of the house as well, walking over to join the rest of them. Alec finally let Clary go and she took in a deep breath, feeling her body shudder a little bit as she looked around and the five boys who had created a semi-circle around her. They were all looking at her with sad smiles on their faces, except for Jace, who hadn't lifted his eyes up from the ground yet.
"I'm gonna be back in three months time," she told them, trying to keep her tone upbeat. "And then it's going to be back to normal again." The words weren't true, but the boys smiled at her anyway, trying to make her feel better.
Things were never going to be like they were before them anymore.
She was moving away, and even if she came back for holidays, she wasn't just going to be around the corner anymore.
And Isabelle wasn't ever going to be coming back.
"I'm really going to miss you guys," she managed to choke out, and then Magnus was hugging her, and so was Alec. Jordan managed to worm his way in there as well, while Simon just managed to stick his hand in to awkwardly pat her on the head. The cuddle circle broke and then she gave them hugs and kisses one at a time, before it was just Jace left. They all gave the pair a bit of space, acting as though they were talking to each other while they were all looking at them out of the corner of their eyes.
"So this is it, I guess," Jace reached behind him and rubbed the back of his neck. He hadn't met her gaze yet, dragging his fingers through his hair and chewing down on the inside of his cheek. "Three months, huh?" He finally looked up at her, swallowing hard. He couldn't help the way his brain starting going into overdrive, drinking in every one of her features greedily, as though this was the last time he was ever going to see her. The curve of her neck, the red of her luscious mouth, the sparkle in her green eyes...Jace's hand reached up to cup her face without him even realizing what he was doing.
"Three months," Clary nodded, her voice catching a little. "And then we can—we can talk." She was biting down on her lower lip and Jace wanted nothing more than to reach forward and push their lips together. He would have done it, if it was a few months ago, but it was different now. So instead, he dropped his hand from her face and gave her a hug. A shiver ran down Clary's spine as she let her body relax into his. He was hard in all the places that she was soft, and their bodies fitted together so perfectly, just like they always did. She didn't even realize that tears had started dripping down her cheeks until they pulled apart and there was a breeze that cooled her wet face. She breathed in deep and swiped her hand over her face before giving them all one last smile, and then looked over their heads, to the fence that separated their property from Hodge's. "Bye, Hodge!" She shouted, waving at the older man, who was walking out to get his mail. He smiled and waved back at her.
"We love you, Clary," Magnus said, reaching in to give her one last kiss on the cheek.
Jace wanted to shout.
He wanted to force her to stay.
But he kept his lips pressed together in silence as she got in her car and drove away. Alec came over to him, putting his hand on his shoulder and squeezing hard, before walking into the house. The rest of the boys walked up to the house as well, talking quietly to one another, but Jace was staring up the street, a good ten minutes after her car had disappeared. He didn't even realize that Hodge had walked over to join him until the older man started talking.
"You two would make a good couple," he told Jace quietly. "I always thought that you two would end up together. I hope you're not giving up on her."
"It's going to be pretty hard to make something work when we live hours apart," Jace's voice was bitter.
"I feel as though with everything you two have built together already, you can handle that," Hodge murmured. "If you feel as though it's worth it, you'll make it work." Jace didn't know how to reply, so he didn't. He just kept standing there, looking down the empty street, long after Hodge walked back to his own house.
Okay.
So, I had my movie/TV show/song recommendations all written up, but then Wednesday happened, and I kind of wanted to say something and it didn't seem right to put them in here along with this.
So...I'm going to start this with; I don't understand. I can't comprehend. I have absolutely no idea what the people and the families of those involved in the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Florida are going through. I can't even imagine what...What they're feeling or how they're doing.
I just...I don't even know how to put what I personally feel into words, and then I think about how shit and selfish that is, because I'm halfway around the world, and yet there are people who were there, people who were in that school, and they've been incredibly brave by doing interviews or getting out there via social media about what they went through, and what needs to happen. I watched an interview with one boy who put it well, "We are children. You guys are the adults. Work together, get over your politics and get something done."
Yes.
Where I live, the last time we had a mass shooting—which is defined where four or more people selected indiscriminately, not including the perpetrator, are killed—was in 1997. In my life time, there have only been three. From what I understand, there have been eight school shootings this year alone in the US. I just—I can't even understand that.
I don't usually put things up about national/international events, but there were kids my baby brothers age...There were fourteen year olds who were killed. How do we live in a world where someone can do that? I was absolutely bawling my eyes out when I was reading the updates and watching the videos that kids had posted and I just...I don't understand.
I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
To anyone who is directly or indirectly affected.
To anyone who lives in the US and this is a constant fear for you.
Because that's really all I can say xx