A/N: "James, please. Ignore your hair and tidy that damn room."
TheRanger'sDaughter: You are suffering from Reading Paranoia. On a related note, aw. I've caused Reading Paranoia.
AER: Reese is finally growing up :)
Disclaimer: Not John Flanagan.
Elizabet groaned in her bed. Tammy coaxed broth into her, something she allowed only because she knew it was laced with herbs to calm her stomach.
"Just a little more," Tammy urged. Elizabet sighed and took one more sip.
"No more," she whispered, drawing up the blanket. "I feel like I've been thrown from a horse off a cliff…and hit every rock and branch on the way down."
Tammy chuckled as she turned to set the bowl on its tray. "You are having a hard day is all. There will be more as your time goes on."
"Thank you for that encouragement."
Tammy leaned down to kiss her forehead. "I think this is the hardest stage. You'll get through it soon enough, with some luck."
"Luck indeed," Elizabet laughed. She shut her eyes and crossed her arms over her torso.
The door creaked open. The weight on Elizabet's bed shifted as Tammy stood.
"Captain," she said immediately.
Warden.
"Tammy, Elizabet allows me to call her 'Caterpillar' rather than 'Your Grace'. I'm sure she'd allow you to call me by my name."
Elizabet kept her eyes shut. Perhaps if they thought she'd already fallen asleep they'd let her be in peace. She enjoyed the company, really…but right now all she wanted was to close her eyes and rest.
"Just so," her aunt mumbled. Elizabet listened to her hasty footsteps as she practically fled the room. Sure, her aunt was a ball of nerves on her best days but only one person could put her on such edges he ran from a room…
Elizabet opened her eyes. Brendon stood in the doorway with Warden.
"I heard you were ill, Your Grace. Some of the women put together some medicines for you and asked I bring them when I came to discuss the ballroom's layout with you," he said. There was a quiet concern about him that soothed her. He didn't jump to do her bidding as so many did, even family members, since Neil passed. He was…different.
"Of course, if you're too weak I can send him on his way," Warden offered, though clearly he brought Brendon to her room for a reason.
"I can handle this visit," Elizabet answered. Warden nodded, nudged Brendon through, and shut the door behind him.
Definitely not the behavior of a guard bringing a builder up to discuss ballrooms with an ill princesses.
Brendon sat a basket of herbs on her desk and then took its chair to her bedside. She pushed herself up and gave him a smile, weak as it was. Really, she didn't feel up to entertaining anyone…but Brendon was different. Warden was right.
"When Noah told me you were ill today I thought it was a cold from coming out to see me," he whispered, unrolling a blueprint of the manor and arranging it in her lap.
"No…it's not from being out at night. It's just…"
She found the reason caught in her throat, refusing to come out.
"I know. Life in a castle can make one weak," he teased. She mock glared at him and let it drop. "We were doing some numbers this morning. Your ballroom's capacity would barely accommodate your full family, let alone guests."
"This manor is to ultimately become Noah's domain as earl. Will it accommodate a full county presentation ball?" Elizabet asked, naming the one big event she knew earls traditionally put on.
"No."
"Alright. Make it bigger."
"Bigger at the expense of…what? The banquet hall? The garden?"
Right…things she didn't think about.
"The outer shell is about complete. Renovating now would be…"
"Costly? Time consuming?"
"Stupid. There is no way to expand it without making it apparent we are trying to hide an oversight."
Elizabet relaxed back into her pillow and shut her eyes, keeping her arms crossed over her torso. "So what's the solution?"
"We dig in and go deeper," he answered without hesitation. "Then we go up the interior perimeter here with a platform of sorts. We'd create the illusion of more space while giving the musicians a place near the grand entry rather than the room's front."
Elizabet opened her eyes again. A year ago, no one could have convinced her studying blueprints would be interesting. Brendon, however, saw things in ways others didn't.
"We talked about the garden being a quiet escape from the ballroom, but if we position the focal point here at the entry and make the windows on a pivot system here, we can open up the ballroom to the garden so a larger party flows outside. Your gardeners can create quiet escapes on the far side, closer to the wall there. What do you think?"
She smiled. The drawings made little sense to her, but Brendon's descriptions and enthusiasm were enough for convincing. "Do it," she agreed.
He rolled up the blueprint with a pleased look on his face, one that turned back to concern. "If it's not a cold, what is it?"
Once again words failed to reach her lips, so she shrugged. He nodded.
"You are carrying something of Neil's, aren't you?"
Anxiety wrecked through every fiber of her being. It was as though a muzzle clamped over her mouth, the same invisible force that kept her from speaking after losing her first family.
Brendon reached up, carefully, cautiously putting his hand over her crossed arms. "I've known for a while, Elizabet."
The anxiety eased just enough for the invisible muzzle to allow a single word. "How?"
"I didn't know for sure until now, but I've suspected since you came here. This is why your mother came so suddenly, isn't it? And why she left you with a Captain as your guard? And brought your aunt to you?"
Elizabet swallowed hard, her eyes swelling with emotions she couldn't quite place. She stared down at his hand on her arms.
"Grace blessed you with this," he continued in a whisper. "I'm happy for you."
She cut her eyes up to his. "Why?"
He gave her a slight smile and leaned forward, dropping his voice even lower. "Because now you will always have something to remind you what you had was real."
She took a deep breath. "You have trouble remembering Adira was real?"
"The more time that passes the more I question a lot of things. Remembering Adira is painful, and sometimes…sometimes the pain gets in the way of her memory. I think it will be difficult for you to have Neil's child, but…you've no idea what I'd give to have Adira's child with me now. Any piece of her would be precious, no matter how much it hurt."
Elizabet swallowed hard. "I'm afraid," she admitted. "I couldn't manage Noah on my own…you got him back on track, but…how am I supposed to…"
She couldn't finish. Luckily, she didn't have to. Brendon unfolded her arms and took her hands, tightening his grip on them. "I'll be here for you as long as you let me."
She found herself weeping into his shoulder, his strong arms around her. It didn't feel like her father's, which protected her from countless monsters under her bed, or Warden's, which took the edge off her lingering anxiety issues. It didn't even feel like Neil's. This was…Brendon.
"What's happening?" she whispered once she regained her voice.
"I'm not sure," he answered. His own voice shook, but his arms stayed around her.