Chapter 26-A Gift

He hadn't even touched this door handle in over twelve years, and it still held a similar feel to the way it had back then. Once inside, the scent of ink on parchment triggered his strong senses and he knew he had found what he had been looking for. He had been searching his mind for a few days now, trying to come up with something special he could give to Belle. Not as a late Christmas gift but something else. He could feel a small friendship starting to form between the two of them and he had wanted to show his appreciation for her giving him a chance.

It couldn't be something random or like the gifts of flowers that Lumiere would often bestow on Plumette. He wanted this to be something that would be truly meaningful to belle, only nothing seemed right. It had finally come to him last night, sitting there in the parlor with her, listening to her again read such wonderful words.

He sought the help of the staff to try and tidy up the space a bit, and while the servants were rather unsure as to why the sudden interest in reopening this particular room, their confusion was nothing compared to the chances they now observed in their once hard core master. He had always barked orders and they had always complied with his requests, but never had he shown even an ounce of gratitude for their efforts, until this very day.

He had watched them assign tasks with a look of interest then before they could start in on their work he had gone and asked the one question that sent a gasp through the entire room. "Can I help?" But the surprise gave way to delight as the staff welcomed him to assist. Mrs.. Potts and several of the others could only smile as the caring young man he had been so many years ago, now finally made himself known again, he joined in on the task of cleaning and appeared to be at ease with doing so.

At long last the room was prepared for its unveiling and with his stomach tightening into dozens of knots, the Beast lead Belle to the reclosed doors. As she had never before explored this part of the castle, she had followed the Beasts here feeling a little apprehensive about just what it was that he had to show her. There was awkward tension so she decided to lighten the mood. "Shall I close my eyes then?" She asked playfully. The Beast raised an eyebrow at her, to which she then added "You did say it was a surprise."

The Beast relaxed a little, catching on to her sense of fun he nodded and her eyes closed tight. He tenderly took her small hands in his and guided her into the room. He could see the staff watching from down the hall and they all gave a reassuring smile.

Walking backwards he took her to the middle of the room. The curtains had been drawn back, and the light filled every inch of the room, creating a far brighter atmosphere than earlier. It was there he let go of her hands and holding his breath said "All right, you can open your eyes."

She obeyed and her eyes widened as they took in the sight of the largest library she had even seen. Judging by the musty feel to the air, she guessed it had been quite some time since the room had been opened. She recalled the feeling she had when first entering the west wing and it was similar to now.

This room had once been filled to its brim with exciting and sharing of tales….Then it came to her, the sheer volume of the books, it was so absolutely incredible it couldn't…it was not possible for this many books to exist in the entire world, or that they were all here, standing before her in floor to ceiling masses.

The Beast wasn't sure what to make of her reaction as she stayed there, staring, not speaking a word. Had this been a terrible move on his part, how could it, when she had said her mother had brought a love for books into her life? Maybe that was the mistake, what if this was now bringing painful memories back to light?

He hesitated in having to know her thoughts, but had to ask "Do you…like it?" Her voice relieved her delight 'It's wonderful, I love it!" He felt all the knots coming undone and he knew this had been the prefect idea. "Then it belongs to you now."

She smiled at him even more brightly and threw her arms around him, in a tender embrace. "Thank you so much!" It only lasted a moment, a few seconds and she was back to taking in her surroundings, overcome with joy. For The Beast however, those few seconds of being in her arms had felt more like hours and something indescribable had occurred.

It was something of an internal battle taking place within him. He could actually feel his heart beating faster in his chest, making it an effect to breath. It felt like the world was spinning like a top, and nothing made sense at all. All he knew was he now had this overcoming need to hold her again, look into her eyes and stay that way for as long as able.

He couldn't really be having feeling for this girl whom had only entered his life a short time ago. How long had it been, he couldn't be completely sure, other than maybe a couple months. Still, even if it had been far longer, it didn't seem possible and yet it felt as though it was. He had never felt these kinds of feelings before and it was frightening.

Despite the hardness he had always hid behind, he could feel something about him was changing. But then again how could this really be love, something which he had always thought was supposed to be indescribably wonderful, when what he was feeling was very strange, uncomfortable and honestly making him feel sick.

It was maybe nothing more than a trick of his mind. His animal rage had mislead him so many times before, and he could honestly now shudder at how violent his temper had often risen. What if I'm losing my mind, He thought? What if he was only just imagining things, was he so desperate to end this curse that his own mind was trying to make a complete fool of him.

As he continued to watch Belle walk among the large book packed shelves, he could feel his face growing warmer and had he not had fur, he probably would have been redder than a summer tomato. Why did Belle not seem at all affected by their shared embrace? She appeared to be acting no different than she had before. Was it because she had felt nothing towards him in that moment?

Casting his eyes to the floor it suddenly occurred to him that her denying him would be harder to face than forever remaining in this form. One of his deepest fear had always been this; that he might end up falling hopelessly in love with someone and then have to accept the reality of her not loving him. Facing that sort of loss again would be far more painful than he could possibly bear. It was this realization that made him start to question his feelings even more than before.

Why had he never thought to ask how love was supposed to work, and why did it have to be so confusing and far more difficult than he ever would have believed.

He had to think, and he had to do it somewhere alone, away from the castle. Here there was just too much to make him feel pressured and remind him that everyone was counting on him, depending on him to win this girls heart. How was that possible when he couldn't even decipher what he his own was telling him? He muttered something about needing to step out, not really sure if Belle or anyone heard him.

Then he made fast for the main entrance of the castle, heading out into the chilling air, he barely even felt it through his thick fur. The sun cast shadows a crossed the snow covered ground which sparkled like crushed diamonds. He had often roamed the grounds and at times run wild in the woods. It was there that he could go and be free to let the animal in him take over without fear of being seen or judged. He started a fast pace run, through the gates and down the sloping ground to the ravines edge.

Dropping to all fours he pushed himself into a full sprint, the wind whipped in his fur, and he felt a great release of tension, both in body and mind. He never noticed the snow starting to crumble, giving out under him, until he was falling forward onto the rocks lining the ravines edge. It wasn't a deep drop, only a couple of feet, but his speed had been too great and it added a great amount of force now working against him

Pain struck first from twisting his leg, then again as he landed, a sharp edge slicing into his arm. The last pain was only there for an instant as his head made impact and the world went silent and black. The wind continued to blow, starting now to build up more momentum. The sky had clouded over and soon flakes would fall, covering the land and the Beast who laid there.