Ch. 25: The two of us against the world
They walked for two days nearly without rest, despite the fact that healing up a leg injury while walking was not the smartest idea of them all. Kanda had insisted and it had healed before they reached Budapest and got onto the first long distance train that was leaving the city, which took them all the way to Amsterdam, without any stops. Any place was good, as long as it was far from where the Crows were bleeding out onto the grassy plain and the advantages of travelling on the train were twofold: they could rest all they wanted and the demons would likely not catch up with them.
They didn't talk about what had happened, not only because it was too surreal to fully grasp. While they were walking, they saved their breath and, for the first day, Kanda was too busy hissing in pain with every second step and insisting that they continue with every other. Afterwards, on the train, Kanda didn't want to risk anybody overhearing their conversation by accident, so he didn't start any conversation and Alma didn't seem to want to start one either. Besides, as far as Kanda was concerned, there was nothing to talk about: the Order was not getting its filthy hands on the Heart and neither was the Earl. Thankfully their current "allies" were not particularly interested, but if they would suddenly become then tough luck for them: nobody was getting the Heart of Innocence if he could help it.
Once in Amsterdam they finally resumed their "job" of trying to find rumours and get to the host of the Heart and cater them off to the Black Order. It was difficult to force themselves, knowing that it was pointless, but they could hardly stop doing that without drawing any suspicions to themselves and that was the last thing they wanted. Besides, as Alma pointed out when they discussed their possibilities briefly, they might find new Innocence cubes or new hosts and those would also be useful for the Black Order.
Kanda couldn't care less about the Black Order, but they had left a couple of friends back there and he didn't want to see them killed during the time that it took Allen to finally figure out how to get rid of the Earl. They located the local Finders and eavesdropped on their conversations for a while, hearing about some strange phenomena that had started recently in a village not far from Amsterdam. And so they found themselves walking across the fields that served to cultivate tulips, but were now empty and grey. The village was already visible on the horizon and Kanda hoped they would find something, if only to not waste time again, like in Hungary. The very thought made him shudder.
'What a desolate pl-' Tykki's voice, which had surprised them, coming out of nowhere, cut short when Mugen touched Tykki's neck. The Noah, with that disgusting smile he wore sometimes when he looked at Kanda, raised his hands somewhat. 'No need to get violent, pretty boy,' he said pleasantly. Behind him, Road's outrageous door popped out of existence soundlessly.
'What did you call me?' Kanda growled and increased the pressure on Tykki's neck but then the man smirked and the blade went through, making Kanda lose his balance momentarily. 'I hate you,' he muttered, sheathing Mugen and straightening to glare at the Noah.
'That is a shame both for you and me, pretty,' Tykki purred and a shiver ran down Kanda's spine as he thought that the one in front of him was called the Noah of Pleasure. He hated the man's dirty insinuations whenever they met.
'Stop this, Tykki,' Alma commanded firmly, stepping closer to Kanda. The Noah rolled his golden eyes, muttering something about a border between brothers and jealous lovers. Kanda itched to run him through with Mugen. 'We're in a hurry, so let's get this over with,' Alma added.
'You surely are,' Tykki muttered. 'I didn't think you'd get that far from Hungary in what was that? A bit less than a week? Are you running from something?' he mocked with another smirk. Kanda stiffened when he saw Alma's guilty expression. The Noah could not see any of that, he thought.
'Yes, but the damned thing had just caught up with us,' he growled and Tykki purred that Kanda should find ways to relieve the stress, which would have resulted in Kanda drawing Mugen again if Alma hadn't put a hand on his shoulder.
'We're tired, Tykki. Can we just get it over quickly?' Alma asked in a weary tone, putting on his best pleading expression. The Noah looked at them carefully and Kanda knew they did look tired. The holiday feeling of their trip had long since worn out and having to move constantly or risk the appearance of demons was wearing them down slowly but surely. The added stress of the last couple of days did nothing to help, but that the Noah couldn't know and should never find out.
'Take a break?' Tykki suggested, his voice somewhat softer, but it only served to further irritate Kanda, who wanted no pity from the damned thing. 'It's not that urgent to find the Heart and the little rabbit will be happy to see you I guess,' the Noah added with a smirk. What the hell was he talking about?
'Lavi?' Alma exclaimed. Kanda's eyes widened. 'What is Lavi doing there? Allen said he would stay behind and-'
'And apparently the plan went to hell along with a delirious Finder,' Tykki cut him and the door appeared behind him. 'I'll let him tell you everything and like that you can also say what you've found in Hungary yourselves. I'm sick of playing messenger,' he added, opening the door and waiting for them to go through.
With some hesitation, they got in and followed Tykki through a corridor of pink light. They had learnt already that pink always led to Road and that was the only direction anybody could take and not get completely and helplessly lost in a place that had no real dimension. How Tykki went to meet them was one of the secrets they had yet to discover.
'One thing, before we get there,' the Noah said. Instinctively, Kanda gripped the hilt of Mugen, because in his head the Noah was going to tell them they have lied and really want just to kill the Exorcists. 'Allen now looks like a Noah and is very sensitive on the topic. Now, I'm not telling you to spare him the pain of your shock, but if he starts moping about it one more time I'm going to choke that brat and nothing good will come out of that,' he said, but Kanda didn't let go of Mugen.
'What do you mean by looks like Noah?' he asked coldly, eyes narrowed in suspicion. He wouldn't put it past the stupid beansprout to give up control and become evil as well. Tykki glanced at him, eyebrow rising when he saw Kanda gripping Mugen.
'What I said,' he said coldly. 'Grey skin, golden eyes, that kind of thing,' he added with a mocking smirk that disappeared before he spoke again. 'I thought you kids had killed enough Noah to know how they look like by now,' he said and there was steel in his voice and Kanda's fingers tightened around the hilt.
'We weren't given a choice,' Alma pointed out, half excusing them and half apologising. Tykki waved his words away with a careless gesture and said that it was done now. 'Why would Allen look like a Noah if he doesn't like it? I thought you guys can control your looks,' Allen questioned. It was a good point, Kanda realised, remembering the couple of occasions when Tykki and Road both became "normal". Tykki shrugged.
'It's a part of his deal with Neah, or some crap like that,' he said in a careless tone and stopped with a hand on the handle of the door. 'Now just don't make a scene out of that and everything will be fine. We will be able to get through the fuss and the information Bookman Junior had brought,' he added and opened the door.
Somewhat worried, Kanda stepped out of the light after the Noah and Alma followed him. They found themselves in the very same cave and Cross was already opening his mouth so Kanda didn't bother letting go of Mugen for the moment, but then Allen said something harshly to his master and Cross's mouth closed with a snap. Kanda blinked upon seeing Allen because words and warnings were not quite the same as reality.
'It's a nice surprise to see you here,' Allen said, his tone betraying his insecurity, but then Alma grinned and said that they came for a little holiday and they wanted to hear all the gossip from the Black Order, to which Lavi looked up from a book he was reading, eyes widening.
'Alma, Yuu,' he exclaimed cheerfully.
'I told you to not call me that, stupid rabbit,' Kanda growled, cursing internally because Tykki suddenly looked interested. The last thing he wanted was for the damned Noah to address him by his given name. 'What are you doing here, you idiot?' he asked harshly, ignoring Lavi's pout and Alma's amusement. It was good to see Alma amused though, he thought.
'I kind of run for it after Lvellie told Bookman that no permanent harm will come to me when he's done with interrogations,' Lavi admitted, nodding sadly at Alma's outraged cry of protest. Kanda winced because that did sound nasty and "no permanent damage" left a lot of freedom to Lvellie, more than the man should ever be given.
'How did it go in Hungary anyway?' Allen asked and Kanda felt himself stiffen despite his best efforts, because he could still clearly see that situation in his mind's eye. The beginning was dulled: the pain of the wound on his leg, the humiliation of being caught and the undeniable fear of the burns that would ensue were subdued, pushed back by the complete shock of Alma's Innocence saving them both, acting on its own and by the terror of the overwhelming consequences. In his head, "Heart of Innocence" still translated loosely into "laboratory subject", rather than "saviour of the world".
A quick glance at Alma told him that his brother wasn't too comfortable with the topic either and that made Allen frown more than whatever reaction he had noticed from Kanda. Road looked at them all in turns and then pulled Tykki aside and through her door to find food, while Cross muttered something about the wine cellar.
'They're not usually so considerate,' Lavi noted with a short laugh but Kanda saw that he didn't miss their discomfort either and apparently neither did the Noah and Cross, which made it even worse. He saw Alma open his mouth and, panicked that his brother would tell them the truth, he spoke faster, probably shocking everybody more than the truth would have.
'There surely was Innocence somewhere, but no host so we left,' he said, forcing his tone to be bored and annoyed at having wasted days, wandering the windy, grassy plains, rather than worried. He wasn't even sure why he didn't want Allen and Lavi to know, but keeping secrets was stronger than him and there was a chance Cross was listening on the other side of the door and Cross could not be trusted.
'Kanda,' Allen muttered. Lavi bit his lip, but then Alma laughed and said it was the most pointless trip of his life and Lavi grinned, saying that they could also change the topic, since he had some news for them as well and maybe more interesting than not finding the host of the Heart. Kanda supposed that he said it in attempt to lighten up the situation and maybe get Alma and Kanda comfortable enough to share as well, but his plan backfired badly nearly as soon as he spoke.
'Bookman gave me that book, where we found the most interesting piece of news ever,' the red-head said enthusiastically. Kanda raised an eyebrow at him, doubtful. Lavi grinned. 'It's kind of morbid for the moment, but it says that demons cannot exist without Innocence, so after we get rid of Earl and Lvellie, we can really end this war,' he said, still enthusiastic at the prospect. Kanda froze, for a moment feeling like the world was spinning around him. Please say you don't mean what I think you do, he thought.
'So we're not giving the host of the Heart to the Black Order anymore,' Allen added and Kanda forgot how to breathe momentarily because for a second it was a Noah speaking not an Exorcist. 'Lavi is trying to figure out the consequences of rupturing the bond between the Exorcist and the Innocence, which will doubtlessly happen when we get rid of the Heart,' he continued, seemingly oblivious to Kanda's distress and Kanda forced himself to relax before he would notice, glancing at Lavi, who was looking at him and Alma with narrowed eyes. He glanced at Alma himself, noting the pale face and wide eyes.
'Are you saying we kill the host?' Alma asked, his voice trembling ever so slightly, and Kanda, if he hadn't been so emotionally involved and didn't know that the fear was not pretended, would have congratulated him. After all, Alma always cared for everybody and he surely considered the idea of killing any Exorcist to be outrageous. Allen looked sheepish and did not immediately deny.
Over my dead body beansprout, Kanda thought, but forced himself to not show any reaction, because, he knew, that was what was expected of him.
'We should be able to do without killing the host,' Lavi said but "should" was not good enough. 'It could still be one of us I guess,' he pointed out. Kanda stiffened again, because there was a probing quality to Lavi's statement that he didn't like. They shouldn't have come here, he thought, gritting his teeth. There was probably no way they could indefinitely postpone the others finding the truth, but they could have been better prepared, they could have bought themselves more time to cope with the new reality, rather than simply running away from it. They had been so stupid.
'In any case,' Allen said with renewed enthusiasm. 'There's nothing we can do about the Heart until we find it and even then we should be sure that we won't kill ourselves when we destroy it,' he added, smiling as though he wasn't saying anything shocking. Lavi nodded and suggested that Alma and Yuu take some rest and then go on with their search.
Pursing his lips, Kanda nodded, even though he knew that he would get no rest in the cave, outnumbered by Noah. He scoffed mentally. Alma would have probably hit him for referring to beansprout as "Noah", he thought and shook his head. One thing was sure: if they found out and tried to take Alma away, he would not hold back. He had promised himself to protect Alma no matter the price after all.