XVI

Her Living Image

Guy did not feel the sword fall from his hand, nor did he hear the sharp clatter as it hit the paved stone beneath his feet. The feminine shape before him had taken on a most maddening visage. At first he denied its existence, but he noticed there were still three guards stationed on the battlements and they had their bows notched and pointed directly at her. Not mad then. Sane. And a scream lodged in his throat, blocking all speech. It burned in his ears along with the blood which hammered through his veins.

The bright eyes blinked up at him, the pale and oh so gentle hands lowered. The perfect rose of a mouth opened and he heard a voice long missed and sweet as honey speak his name. "Guy..."

He backed up out of instinct to avoid the ghost, as he always did in his dreams. He shook his head. He should run. He needed to get away. He was going mad. Quick, away back to Psyche so that she might hold him and tell him that this was simply a ghost come to walk among the living.

The ghost was following him. "Guy, please..." the plea was a breathless one. Sorrow was heavy in those bright, dear eyes.

Another shake of his head. Marian tried to reach out for him, but he pulled back before she could brand him with her ghostly touch.

One of the guard's control slipped from holding his bow so taunt for so long without word to lower his weapon. Guy saw it from the corner of his eye. The arrow was loosed and it sped down to the ground, aiming for Marian.

"No!" Guy screamed, finding his voice. He pulled the woman into his arms, hearing her gasp in surprise as she felt the arrow stir up the air beside her, it fell upon the courtyard; harmless.

Marian shook a little in his arms at the realization that Guy had saved her from injury. Guy heard her heart beat, felt her short gasps for air as she slowly tried to calm herself; felt the warmth of her and the life in her. Denial broke around him and fell like so much fine glass. He looked down at her. She had her hands against his chest, her fingers curled to clutch at the clasps on his coat. She looked up at him, and Guy was astonished to see tears in her eyes.

"Marian." The name was a ragged sob and Guy sank to his knees, his arms wrapped about her waist. He wept against her, not concerned who should see or hear him. The sounds of his cries were torn from his throat. He clutched her tightly. He felt her hand upon him; her fingers stroking his hair and he wept all the harder for the feel of her touch.

The shouts of more guards accompanied by the voice of the Sheriff drew Guy back to his senses. He rose to his feet and took Marian by the arm. "This way." He led her into the Castle, careful to avoid the sounds of guards.

Feeling very much like an outlaw himself in that moment, Guy carried his stolen treasure to secluded chambers down the hall. He dared not make his way to his own room for fear of being discovered. He shut the door, leaning it against it for support, his legs still unsteady.

Marian turned to face him, she appeared to not know where to look, for her eyes kept flickering over him to the floor and then back again. She began to pace, as she had always done when she was especially nervous. "Guy, I..." she tried to formulate words, but where to start. Should she forgive him? Tell him of her marriage to Robin? Inform of the details of her stages of recovery? Tears choked her and she placed a hand over her mouth, ashamed that she should have lost all control before this man whom she had no right to cry over. "...I..."

Guy approached her and enveloped her in his arms. The movement was natural. Marian did not try to push him away, as she often had done whenever he had tried to hold her before. She placed her arms about him. Guy cupped the back of her head, pressing her to his chest as he rocked her back and forth. "I don't understand..." he whispered against her hair. "Am I going mad?"

"No, no," Marian said, managing to collect her voice. She looked up at him, "You're not mad, Guy, I'm here."

"How?! I killed you...I saw you die."

"It is hard to explain," Marian said, wiping her eyes with the back of her sleeve, "I was saved by Djaq. She cared for me until I was well enough to travel back home."

Guy recognized the name of the woman who was a part of Robin Hood's gang, but the mention of one of the outlaws did not sting him as it would have so long ago. "Marian, I never meant to—Oh God help me, I would never..."

Marian hushed him, "I know. I knew in that moment when I looked up at you, I could see it in your eyes."

"I just wanted you to stop saying those words." He could still hear them, running through his brain, tormenting him. I love Robin Hood. "I couldn't think, couldn't see, I just had to stop you."

"Guy, please, do not think back on this..."

"How can you say that?!" Guy said, his tone rising, "It is all I have thought of!" She was removed from his arms, "I killed you!" He shouted, "Do you think with a word you can make me forget a year of hell?!"

"It was hell for me too!" Marian yelled, words she had not dared admit to herself threatened to spill from her lips. "Do you think I was not keenly aware of being alive while knowing you thought I was dead and you the cause of it? Guy, for a long time I hated you for what you had done; for keeping me apart from my home and Robin..."

Guy's head lowered at her words, knowing that she had a far greater right to her fury than he had to his own. "But," she went on, "for an even longer time I hated myself." Guy looked up at her, eyes wide, "I never wanted to say those words to you. I knew what they would mean. I just wanted to distract you away from harming the King."

"Forgive me," Guy said without thinking.

"I already have."

They embraced once more. Guy felt the hellish burden he had been carrying all those long dark months ease. The absolution of Marian's words washed over him. Marian brought her hand to his face, lightly brushing her fingers against him. Guy pressed her hand to his cheek, eyes closed. Without thought, Marian raised herself up upon the tips of her feet and brought her lips to his. If Guy felt shocked by such an action it was quickly flung from his mind. The only thought now of any concern was that Marian had kissed him.

She had only ever kissed him once before and even then she had been distant. Marian pulled at him, her fingers tangling in his hair. Her mouth was yielding and soft against his and Guy heard her nearly whimper at his reciprocation of her unexpected passion.

Guy's mind was caught in a whirlwind. He dared not give into thought for fear of breaking whatever spell had him in its grasp. His Marian was alive and had returned to him. This was proved a greater reality at every turn of her head, every flick of her tongue over his lips and against his mouth, and every soft curve he felt as his hands traveled over her body.

When had they fallen onto the bed? Guy felt her pulling at the clasps on his coat, removing it in the blink of an eye. Guy folded her into his arms as she pressed kisses to every inch of him. Guy removed her cloak and pulled at the strings of her bodice.

Marian broke away from Guy and rolled off of him, the swirling pools of lust cooling in her eyes. "No," she panted, her cheeks high with color. "We can not do this..."

Guy lay back, also struggling to regain his senses. Marian glanced over at him, he looked almost complacent from this angle. He was staring quietly up at the ceiling, his chest heaved heavily for a moment before normal breath was restored. He turned his head to look at her, and much to Marian's surprise he smiled at her. It was a rare sight to see. "I know," he said, "it is enough to know you wanted to."

Marian blushed harder, "I did care for you Guy. I...I do care for you. I think in another life we would have made each other very happy. But..."

"You love Robin Hood." There was no hint of malice in his voice. Marian was almost grateful for this sudden understanding. She nodded her head, recalling the heartbreaking expression he had one had on his face when she had first revealed this to him.

He opened his arms and she gladly laid back down and curled up against him. "You have changed," she said as he stroked her hair with gentle, absentminded caresses.

"Have I?" He asked her. Oh it was so good to have her with him, to hold her once more...

"Yes, you seem far more contended then I have ever seen you."

"That is because you are with me."

"Is that all?" She asked.

"I have been given a miracle," Guy said, kissing her forehead, "That would be enough to content any man."

They lay in silence for a time, taking comfort in one another's arms. Both knew they would have to leave the other soon, but neither were willing to address that fact now. Eventually, Guy broke the silence. "There is someone lately come to the Castle, you would never believe in such a woman."

"Wouldn't I?" Marian replied.

"She was brought to be a fortune-teller for the Prince. I know you never believed in such fantastical things, but Marian, she's a seer."

"What is her name?" Marian asked, she wanted to know how far Guy would dare to tell her of his affair. If that meant playing ignorant she would.

"Psyche," he said the name like a simple prayer. "I think you would like her."

"Is she the cause of such a change in you?"

Guy laughed low, "She has given me a glimpse of happiness, yes."

"Then I would even love her."

Guy held her tightly in his arms. Why her approval of Psyche meant so much to him he did not know. "I should return soon," Marian said without getting up, "I will be missed."

"I will see you safely from the Castle," Guy said.

Psyche could not keep the mask of anger up for long. She had, after all, no right to it. After several tedious hours alone in her chambers in the Castle she had come to the conclusion that whatever thoughts had briefly flashed through Guy's mind were not direct slights to her. Now she just felt childish. Of course he could have no control over his own thoughts or feelings. He would always love Marian and Psyche could find no true fault in that. She had only ever wanted to see him happy, and he had been up until she had decided to take personal offense.

Why must everything be so damned difficult? Psyche supposed she ought to apologize to Guy, she knew he would be more than ready to hear it and to accept it. She had never had to apologize to anyone before. Arriving at this decisive point, Psyche dragged herself from her chambers and made her way out into the corridor.

She heard Guy's voice from a ways down the hall, which surprised her, Guy's chambers were no where near her own. All the better for her, at least now she did not have to seek him out.

She turned the corner and froze. Guy stood against a doorway while Marian, with a hidden smile upon her face, buckled up the clasps of his coat. Guy was watching her perform this small task with wonder and adoration in his eyes. He kissed her cheek and Marian's faint laughter echoed in Psyche's ears to mix in with the vision she had once had.

Psyche doubled back, hiding behind the corner, peering at them through the arch. She could not breathe. Her fingers dug into the wall, so hard that the pads began to bleed. She did not blink, and her throat constricted and grew hot. She should move, run, anything, but she found she could not move.

"Don't ask me to stay," Marian said.

"How did you know what I was going to say?" Guy replied.

"Because you always ask me that. You know it will be better for us both if I go."

Guy nodded, daring to hold the woman in his arms again, "I know, but don't tell me this will be the last time I am able to see you."

"It won't be," Marian said, "I don't think I could bear that."

He kissed her. Marian pushed him lightly, "But we will have to stop this," she placed a finger upon his lips.

Guy smiled sadly, brushing a few locks of hair out of her eyes and tucking it behind her ear, "Come," he said, "we should leave before any of the guards catch you with me."

He took her by the arm and led her away, all the while making sure she was kept bound to his side. Psyche came out of hiding to stand alone in the middle of the corridor. She stared off after them, eyes devoid of any definitive expression. She turned quietly, her long cloak rustling against the stone beneath her, and like a shadow against a darkening sky, she vanished.

Unaware that they had, in fact, already been caught together, Guy and Marian hurried through the corridors. Eventually finding their way towards the Great Hall, Marian stopped Guy before he could open the doors. "What are you doing?" she hissed, "The Sheriff could be in there."

"Wait here," Guy said softly as he opened the doors. He stepped inside only briefly before doubling back for Marian, "He's probably out with the rest of the guard looking for you and your accomplice. Quickly now, while there's still time."

Marian took Guy's hand and allowed him to lead her into the hall. She recalled how she had looked up at these very stairs when Guy had returned to fight with her and the rest of the people against Prince John's troops. How proud she had been of him then. "Where are we going?" she asked him.

"Through here," Guy pushed against the wall at the end of the long table and behind the Sheriff's seat. Marian gave a light gasp when she saw the wall give way and turn like a door. "It leads out into Sherwood."

"That's brilliant," Marian commented as she stepped into the hidden tunnel.

"Thank you," Guy smirked as he closed the passageway behind them.

They slowed their pace significantly as soon as they were fully down the tunnel, there were no guards here to catch them and the Sheriff would never suspect of someone using the tunnel. Marian looked over at Guy, "You never did ask me what I was doing in the Castle, you know."

"Attempting to steal the ransom money?"

"How did--"

"I'm not as stupid as you always seemed to think," Guy said with a wry expression.

"I never thought that," Marian said softly. "You do not care that I was attempting to disrupt your plans?"

"Marian," Guy sighed, "I lost my taste for politics a long time ago." The brash statement silenced Marian, for she knew to what Guy was referring. She took his hand and the gesture seemed appreciated for Guy lost his darkening looks.

The tunnel was a long one and it wound ever deeper. The low ceiling dripped steadily and spiderwebs and cobwebs blended together. At times Marian wasn't certain what she was seeing, but Guy seemed to have had the paths memorized, for he did not falter in his step. He kept Marian close to him for fear of losing her in the dark.

They came to set of stairs leading upwards, Guy climbed them and pushed aside the rocks blocking the exit. Light streamed downwards and Guy raised a hand over his eyes to shield them from the light. Marian blinked rapidly, tears stinging the corners of her eyes at the sudden light.

"There," Guy said as she climbed back down. "This leads out into a churchyard, Sherwood is just beyond it."

"Guy..."

Guy shook his head, denying her thanks. "Go."

"Guy, come with me." Marian took his hands in hers.

"What?" She could not be serious. "I thought you said it would be better if you left."

"I know, but...Guy, you do not belong here. Come with me, Robin will--"

"Sooner see me dead then allow me anywhere near him or you. Really, Marian you never give up do you?" Guy sighed.

"I stand by my belief that you are a good man, Guy. Now more than ever. Why do you always consent to condemn yourself?"

"Because I can not see you with Robin!" Guy said with strangled voice, "I want your happiness Marian, I always have, but I am not a selfless man. Do not ask me to come with you just so that I might be reminded that you are his. I am doing what I should have done years ago. I am letting you go."

Marian brought her arms up and around the near trembling man. It was rare to see him come so undone. His fragility had always frightened her, she often forgot how easily breakable he was; how human he was. Guy did not return her embrace. He brought his head down to rest upon her shoulder as she spoke to him. "Forgive me," she whispered.

"There is nothing to forgive."

Marian parted from him. "If you ever have need of me, send word to me and I will meet you here," Guy told her. "I swore to protect you once, I will not fail you again."

Marian mounted the steps leading upwards into the churchyard. "You did not fail me," she said, "You were not all responsible for what took place in Acre." Guy stared up at her, confusion heavy in his haunted eyes, "The Sheriff took me out into the desert and left me with Robin and the rest of the outlaws to die."

"What?" Guy could not believe this. He had always thought that Marian had escaped the confines of her room at the Black Knight's hideout. The Sheriff had promised him Marian...he had meant to kill her regardless of his demands?

"The man does not deserve your loyalty, Guy," Marian told him, "I will call upon you for help. Am I wrong to put my trust in you again, my friend?"

Guy looked up at her, fury in his eyes, "I am yours to command."

Confidence rushed through Marian's veins. She leaned down to place a gentle kiss against Guy's lips. Guy grabbed her arm, the anger cooling momentarily as he spoke tenderly to her, "Stay safe...my love," the endearment stumbled from his mouth and Marian smiled at the reemergence of the shy man behind the Black Knight.

"You know I shall try." Her coy statement wrung a small smirk from him. He release her and she continued her climb upwards. As soon as she was above ground she gave him a final wave goodbye before heading back to join with Robin Hood and the rest of the gang.

Guy exhaled, leaning against the ladder of steps. He spun with a multitude of emotions. There was so much to be done. The need to kill the Sheriff came to mind. He would have to restrain himself, anything done rashly could through the entire shire into chaos. He must think of other things. Marian was alive! Alive and safe and for now he could content himself with her living image. Relief did swamp his senses at the thought. Her happiness was secure, and along with it his own, no matter what happened in the future.

Thoughts of happiness and the future quickly turned towards Psyche. He sped off through the dark tunnel. There was much to tell her, and perhaps, even a question to be asked.

A/N: Five rewrites and three cups of coffee later...:) I usually would have updated "Chains" first, but this warranted my immediate attention. The other fic will be updated soon. Also, apparently FFN is no longer showing my asterisks, so I've gone back to separating scene shifts with the line break. Bleh.

ALSO! I HAVE A WEBSITE! Ok, so it's really amateurish an I'm still learning how to organize the thing, but you should check it out. Go to my profile and click on my web-page link. Have fun with that.