Daylight

Chapter 26

Pairing: Jane/Maura
Rating: T
Disclaimer: Jane Rizzoli and Maura Isles do not belong to me.

A/N: Many thanks to everyone still reading. Updates aren't as frequent as I would like right now but I promise I'm not abandoning this story.

After the move, Jane, Maura, and Will settled into their summer routine. Maura had lined up some different summer day camps for Will for much of the summer. There were baseball and soccer camps along with a computers and technology camp and a nature camp. Between work, Will's day camps, and weekend baseball games, their schedule was full. Jane was cleared for active duty again and went back to work, but the rhythm they had established before the move continued, and usually the three of them managed to get up and eat breakfast together before heading out for the day.

The woman Maura previously hired to watch Will after school during the school year finished her graduate program and left Boston for a new job. Now that Maura was settled into her position and had a better understanding of the demands of the job on her time, she hoped to be able to rely less on people other than herself and Jane to take care of Will during the school year. During the summer she planned on one of them being able to pick him from camp each day. Angela had assured them that Will could hang out in the cafe with her anytime she had to work late and Jane couldn't bring him home.

On Saturday afternoons Will had baseball games and afterwards they got into the habit of going to Angela's house to hang out for a little while and have dinner, sometimes with one or both of Jane's brothers. A previous weekend, Jane had been digging through stuff in her mother's garage and realized that there were a few old bikes from when she and her brothers were kids. Billy hadn't shown much interest in learning to ride a bike before now, but after a couple of weeks of Jane suggesting he give it a try, he decided he wanted to learn.

This afternoon at Angela's house Jane and Billy dug out the bikes from behind stacks of other old sporting and outdoor equipment Jane and her brothers left there over the years and picked one that seemed the right size. Jane looked it over, checking the brakes and wiping dust off, and they pumped air into the tires and adjusted the seat for his height. If he wanted to keep riding, they would probably have to get him a new bike or get this one a tune-up, but for today Jane figured it would do.

When Jane was satisfied that the bike wouldn't malfunction today, they went outside. The backyard wasn't big enough to have a long enough stretch for Billy to really get going on the bike, so the sidewalk was going to have to do to learn. Maura insisted that before Billy got on a bike he have a full arsenal of protective gear, so now he was wearing a helmet plus elbow guards, knee pads, and wrist guards that they purchased earlier in the week.

At the sidewalk, Maura watched them as Jane explained how the brakes worked and how to use the front and back brakes safely. The rest he was going to have to figure out for himself once he got going. He got on the bike, one foot on a pedal and the other on the ground.

Jane said, "I'm going to help you stay balanced to start with but when you get going I'm going to let go and you'll be on your own. If you start to fall or if you want to slow down and stop, lower one foot to the ground like you are now so you don't fall over. But if you fall, it's okay, that's what happens to everyone when they're learning. Do you have any questions?"

"I just pedal?"

"Basically. And keep yourself upright. That's the thing you're going to have to learn and get used to. Remember if you go real slow, it's harder to stay balanced. I'm sure your mom knows the scientific explanation for that."

"Actually, there is quite a bit of disagreement among physicists about why that's the case," Maura said.

Jane looked over at her and deadpanned, "Really?"

Maura nodded. "Yes, it's actually quite fascinating that it has been so difficult to understand."

"Anyway," Jane said, turning back to Billy after giving Maura a smile. "If you feel really wobbly, try going a little faster if you feel comfortable trying that. Ready?"

"Ready," he responded.

"Let's go."

Billy started pedaling slowly and Jane, with a hand on the back of his seat and one on his handlebar, kept pace next to him until he sped up more and she dropped off and let him ride. When he wobbled a little, he put a foot down and stopped. He hopped off the bike and walked it back to where Jane and Maura were standing.

"Good job," Maura said encouragingly, clapping her hands.

"Pretty good," Jane said. "How'd it feel?"

"Okay."

"Ready to go again?" They repeated the same process and Billy rode further this time.

After a few more times doing the same thing, Jane said, "I think you can get started without me now. Just start pedaling with one foot and keep going from there. You'll be fine."

Billy tried and was able to start riding without Jane supporting the bike. He rode down the sidewalk a ways and then came to a stop, turned the bike around, got back on, and started back towards them. He wobbled a bit getting started but then was able to smooth out and be fine.

While they watched him continued riding back and forth like that, Jane said to Maura, "My brothers and I used to ride our bikes all over the place when we were kids. Why didn't he ever learn to ride a bike before?"

"Have you ever been to San Francisco?" Maura replied.

"No, but there are a lot of hills right?"

"It wouldn't have been easy to ride near our house. We could have gone to a park or something but he never asked and it never occurred to me. But maybe we'll have to take a trip to San Francisco sometime so you can see where we used to live."

"Yeah, that would be fun. Oh shit," Jane said as her attention turned back to Billy. He had tried to turn around in a neighbor's driveway while still riding and fell over in the process. Maura started to move to go check on him, but Jane gently grabbed her arm and held her back. "You okay?" she yelled out to Billy.

"Yeah," he called back as he got up and got back on the bike to ride back to them.

"You're doing a great job," Maura said when he stopped in front of them. "Are you tired? It's been a long day with baseball and everything."

He shrugged in response.

"Why don't you give that one more try," Jane said. "Ride down and turn in that driveway and come back."

He rode off again and Maura said to Jane, "Do you think I baby him?"

"No," Jane said with a chuckle, and pulled Maura closer to give her a kiss on the temple. "I really don't. But I do think it's good to end with a success rather than a failure."

He rode down the sidewalk and tried to make the turn again, this time losing balance again as he slowed down in the turn, but he didn't fall. He pedaled back towards them and said, "I'm going to try again."

While they watched him make another attempt, Maura said, "You wouldn't have put him in all of that protective gear though, would you?"

Jane thought about it. "I don't know. I mean, the helmet, yes, definitely. But the other stuff, I don't know. Getting bumps and bruises or even a few broken bones isn't necessarily a bad thing for a kid. On the other hand, if he got hurt biking, he wouldn't be able to play baseball or soccer, so that would suck." She shrugged and said, "This parenting-type stuff is all new to me, you know, and it probably wouldn't have occurred to me to get any protective gear ahead of time like it did for you."

Maura poked her in the side and said, "You're doing an exceptional job with him."

"Thanks," Jane said with a lopsided smile.

Angela poked her head outside then and said, "Dinner is almost ready, girls."

"Okay, we'll be right in, Ma," Jane called back.

They turned their attention back to Billy and watched as he made the turn in the neighbor's driveway and biked back towards them. Instead of stopping he rode past and turned into Angela's driveway.

"Hey!" Jane said. "You did it."

"Good job, honey," Maura added.

"I think you've mastered everything now. You're officially a biker," Jane said.

"I think the term is cyclist. Biker suggests he's riding motorcycles."

"Okay, cyclist," Jane agreed. "What do you think?" she asked Billy.

"It's fun," Billy answered.

"Maybe we can plan to all go for a ride on one of the bike trails," Maura suggested.

"Can I get my own bike?" he asked and Jane smirked at Maura over his head.

"I think that we can look into that," Maura responded.

Before they moved, Jane asked Maura to reschedule her next appointment with Dr. Walcott for after the chaos of the move was over and for a time they could both go. Maura still insisted she could go get the ultrasound on her own, but agreed to make the next appointment to discuss the ultrasound results and next steps for a time they were both free.

When they arrived at the scheduled appointment, they were told that Dr. Walcott was delayed because of an earlier emergency, but they were shown to an exam room to wait for her. After about five minutes of waiting, Jane stood up and walked around the room nervously, first reading the various posters on the wall and then opening and looking into all of the supply-filled drawers in the room.

Finally, Maura reached out for Jane's hand to get her to stop and once Jane's hand was in hers, she said, "Maybe we should talk about sperm donors."

"What about Ian?" Jane said with a shrug.

"No," Maura quickly responded.

"It was just a thought. You told me was the perfect sperm donor. Doesn't he have all the qualities you'd want?"

Maura shook her head. "I'm not in touch with Ian and I'm not interested in bringing him back into my life or Will's life now. I'm certainly not going to get in touch just to ask for his genetic material."

"Okay," Jane nodded. "I get that. Not Ian."

"What about Frankie?" Maura asked.

"Are you serious?"

"We could have a child that shared both of our genetic material."

"Please stop using the phrase genetic material," Jane said jokingly but then she became serious. "Look, in an ideal world that would be great, but we can't make a baby and it would just be too creepy for me to have Uncle Frankie be the baby daddy."

"Do you want an anonymous donor?"

"I guess. We can pick one of the broke, handsome, college students who made a deposit at the sperm bank like you said you wanted to." Jane sat down next to Maura and leaned in to kiss her. When Maura responded, deepening the kiss, Jane cupped Maura's face gently, and moaned softly. "I know you're going through all this," Jane said when they finally broke apart, gesturing around the exam room, "because I brought it up. I want you to know how much I appreciate it. But I know it's not the only option. We should explore all of our options. I know you've thought about adoption and I want to learn about it too."

Maura frowned and looked down at her lap. "I don't know. I'm not so sure about adoption anymore."

"What do you mean? What changed?"

"I talked to my mother a couple of weeks ago. I wanted to ask her about the process her and my father went through to adopt me," Maura answer slowly.

"And?"

"They didn't choose me. They didn't even want to adopt a child." Maura sighed before continuing, "I always thought that even if my biological parents didn't want me, at least someone did."

"I don't understand. They did adopt you."

"Right after I was born Patrick Doyle left me with my parents. And while his logic may have been flawed or suspect, he did it because he believed he was protecting me. It wasn't because he didn't want me."

Jane looked at Maura in disbelief. "Your parents know Paddy Doyle?"

Maura shook her head. "Not in the way you're thinking. My mother was teaching art classes then and he was her student."

"I don't-" Jane started but then stopped and shook her head. She was getting off track what they were supposed to be talking about. Taking both of Maura's hands in hers, she said, "If we adopted a kid it would be because we wanted him or her. They would always know that we wanted them and loved them."

"And someday that child would want to know about their biological parents and they would wonder why their biological parents didn't want them. I know what that feels like, to realize that in order to be adopted, someone else has to give you up. I thought that my own experience and understanding would make me a great adoptive parent. Now I'm not sure."

Jane squeezed Maura's hands. "You still know what that feeling is, even if you know now that the circumstances were a little different."

"I do, but that's not why I'm not sure if I would be the right person to adopt a child," Maura said sadly. "Patrick Doyle watched over me my entire life. He had pictures of me. He gave me up for adoption because he wanted to protect me. I'm ashamed to say it makes me happy to know that's why I was adopted. It wasn't because my biological parents didn't want me. Knowing that makes me happier than thinking that my parents wanted to adopt me made me feel. What would I say when inevitably a child we adopted wanted to know why his or her biological parents didn't want them or wanted to know about my own adoption?"

"Honey, people give up children for adoption for all sorts of reasons. It's not necessarily about not wanting them. It's about doing the best thing for the child, which is what Paddy Doyle did. And we don't have to do a private adoption, right? There's open adoptions now. But any kid we adopted would be surrounded by love from us and Billy and my mother and all sorts of people. They wouldn't ever doubt that they were part of a family that loved them."

"How do you know that?" Maura asked seriously.

Jane released Maura's and hands and sighed. Looking down at the floor she said, "Because…I know it's not the same thing…but that's what you and Billy did for me at a time when I needed it. I know that I had a family, and it's a totally different situation, but after the Hoyt case, I felt really alone. Everyone either pitied me or they didn't know how to act around me. But you and Billy just welcomed me as I was and made me a part of your family."

"I always think about you bringing us into your family."

Jane shook her head and reached back over into Maura's lap. "I know you don't realize or understand how much you've done for me. But really, everything we have now was because of you. You and Billy."

The door of the exam room opened and Dr. Walcott came in saying, "Sorry to keep you waiting." When she saw the scene in front of her, Maura wiping her eyes and Jane holding her hand, she paused and said, "Is everything alright? Should I give you a minute?"

Jane stood up and said, "We're good, just having a little heart-to-heart." She held out her hand and continued, "I'm Jane Rizzoli. It's nice to meet you."

Maura stood too and, smiling, shook the doctor's hand as well. "Hello, Dr. Walcott. Everything is great actually. We were just discussing our options, but I'm eager to hear about the results of the ultrasound."

They all sat down and Dr. Walcott pulled up the ultrasound pictures on her computer for Maura to look at. "The results of your ultrasound are good. It looks like you are at or even slightly above average in terms of egg count for a woman of your age. If you want to go forward, my recommendation is to first try IUI at least once. If that's not effective we would move on to IVF."

"Can you explain what all these terms are for the non-doctor in the room?" Jane asked.

"Of course," Dr. Walcott responded. "IUI is intrauterine insemination. This is a common procedure for women using a sperm donor in order to increase the chances of fertilization. We would monitor, either through urine testing or an ultrasound, for ovulation. At the optimal time, a catheter is inserted into the uterus and the sperm is injected directly into the uterus. The whole procedure takes about twenty minutes with fairly minimal discomfort. You would be able to take a pregnancy test about two weeks later. Usually we would try intrauterine insemination for at least three to six months before moving on to IVF. Because Maura is in the advanced maternal age category we could go to in vitro fertilization, or IVF, sooner if you would like."

Jane nodded and asked, "And how does IVF work?"

"We use a needle to remove eggs from the ovaries. Because this can be painful, typically patients are sedated during this process. The removed eggs are inseminated with the sperm in a laboratory. After fertilization the eggs are transferred back to the womb through a catheter inserted through the vagina. Because we use multiple embryos to increase the changes that the procedure will be successful, there is always the chance for multiple pregnancies."

Jane's eyes widened at the prospect of multiple babies. "Oh. What are the chances of that?"

"Probably about 25%," Dr. Walcott answered.

"Oh. That's kinda high."

"Of course, because Maura has had a child before and you're not coming here because of known fertility problems, we can discuss not implanting multiple embryos at once. That's something the two of you can discuss together and come to some decisions about if you go forward."

Jane nodded again and looked at Maura with a slightly worried expression on her face. Maura just smiled at her reassuringly.

"Do you have any questions, Maura?" the doctor asked.

"Is there anything else we should be aware of or thinking about?" she asked.

"Did you start a multi-vitamin with folic acid?"

"Yes," Maura responded.

"Then I think the rest is up to you to decide if you want to try to get pregnant and how you're going to do it. If you don't have any other questions today, then I think we're done. You call me if you think of anything or call the office to set up another appointment when you're ready."

"Thank you," Maura said.

"Yeah, thanks," Jane added.

After the doctor left, Maura looked at Jane, who still looked worried, and said, "Let's go home, babe. We have a lot to figure out."