I titled this chapter "From the Depths" because I never dreamed I would get to this moment. As much as I hate ending this amazing story, I am so pleased and proud with how it turned out; it was everything I wanted it to be. And sharing the experience with you, my readers have been an enormous pleasure and honor. Thank you for taking the time to read and leave your feedback. Thank you for sharing this journey. This chapter is dedicated to everyone who is reading, who challenged me to become a better writer. This is especially dedicated to Scarylady and Spleef, who got me through hard times and convinced me to keep writing. I'm going original now, but I will keep writing fanfic so keep in touch and check in on me sometimes!
Thank you!
From the depths I called out to you
Come to me
Upon your return, the light will return to my eyes
I'm not finished, I'm not leaving the touch of your hands
May it come and light up to the sound of your laughter
From the depths I called out to you
Come to me
Against the moon that lights your way back to me
They spread out and melted against the touch of your hands
In your ears I whisper, and ask
Who's that calling out to you tonight? Listen up
Who sings out loud to you, to your window?
Who gave their soul so you'd be happy?
Who will give a hand and build your home?
I whisper and ask
Who will give his life, and put it beneath yours?
Who will live as dust beneath your feet?
Who will love you more than all other loves?
Who will save you from every living spirit?
--Idan Raichel
From The Depths
My father had once said that my sister was born lucky and that I was lucky to be born. Until a few years ago, I had believed this to be my future. Then I met a girl with no manners and everything changed. Looking back, I can't imagine how an exiled prince had become something…amazing.
As my servants dressed me, I pondered the significance of the date. Today was a special day indeed. It was my second anniversary as Emperor and a national holiday had been declared. Fireworks had been ordered, silk banners with my royal crest of the Empire had been hung in the streets of the Capital City and an enormous banquet had been planned. Children had been given a day off from school. It was a day of rejoicing for the peace I had brought the world. Queen Song and King Kuei would be visiting. They were puppet rulers now, but they were good leaders who served their ceremonial function well. The leader of the Warriors of Kyoshi and her husband would be attending as well. It would be a gala event.
For me, there was a greater occasion. It had been two and a half years since I had met Toph. It seemed strange to wake up every morning and not be a prisoner on a ship or a wandering vagrant. The silk red banners above my head reminded me that I was the supreme ruler, surrounded by the ones I loved. Without her, I would have ended up some vagrant without hope of a future.
Of course, not everyone had managed to see this day. Earning my place had cost me a sister and a father who had been consumed by evil that hadn't been able to see this moment. The scar on my face would never allow me to forget them and how much they had longed to see me dead. Instead, they were the ones who perished.
I wondered if their next lives were more peaceful. I had paid the monks to say prayers for them, but even I knew they had a lot to pay for. Still…I hoped someday that they would find peace. Uncle had warned me about allowing my past to stop up my future. I had a life to live and a family to take care of.
Even though I had gotten used to it for the most part, it still gave me a thrill to hear my name shouted out when I entered a public room of the palace. "Presenting His Imperial Majesty, Emperor Zuko, Son of Agni, Lord of the Two Kingdoms," the page called out as every servant's knee bent to me. I motioned for them to rise and continued on my way, enjoying every moment.
The royal dining hall was full with my family, who merely bowed their heads respectfully as I entered. I nodded and traveled to my throne, where I would be served separately to ensure my food was safe.
"Good morning, Zuko," Mom greeted me as she walked up to me. She looked beautiful and radiant this morning, as she always did. I loved waking up and knowing that I would see her, happy, and protected. She had returned to the fancy gowns of my youth and looked every inch a Dowager Empress.
Before I could return the greeting, I heard two high pitched giggles. "Zukey," two voices said as my younger sister and brother peeked out from behind her gown. Prince Lu-Tien and Princess Li-En were eighteen months old, but they had filled the palace with so much mischief. I still couldn't believe after the horror that my sister had been, I could love my new siblings so much.
I happily scooped them both, one on each arm. Their bright golden eyes stared up at me in sheer admiration. "Good morning," I said as I spun them around, feeling their little fingers dig into my robes. They shrieked happily with delight and clung to me for protection. "You two are getting big and heavy." Soon they would be running all over the palace, making trouble. I couldn't wait for that day.
"Stop making them so excited or we'll never get them to eat," Mom scolded me gently, as I held my siblings upside down, making them shriek with delight. "You can play with them later."
"You sure had your hands full," I commented, as the nursemaids quickly gathered my siblings away from me so I could eat. I didn't mind having them around, but I knew the serving women knew best about caring for children.
"It's fine. I think that they together were less trouble than you," Mom teased, looking pleased with life. The big empty palace of my childhood had been filled with my family. It was a wonderful feeling to be surrounded by those who loved me.
First, Grandfather and his new wife Derya had moved in with three children. Over in the corner, my cousin Mindo was having a fight with her mother about hitting her younger brother. "And stop calling me Ta Min, it's so girly," she was shouting. That girl was going to make some man a very…busy husband someday. Grandfather had founded a new military academy to retrain our army's future recruits and was enjoying harassing the cadets immensely. He even smiled more often!
Then my uncle and mother announced their pregnancy with the twins. I had been rather shocked, even though I knew Mom had been fifteen when she had me and was young enough to have many more children. It was just strange to take in. In some ways, it made me jealous. I had my mother finally to myself and now she had a new family. Of course, that feeling had only lasted a few moments till my uncle and mother had hugged and kissed me and thanked me for bringing in an era of peace where they could finally be together and happy.
All around me were people who could enjoy a happier life. "Lord Zuko, your aura is looking very pink today," Ty Lee, Head Martial Arts tutor to the royal children said, carrying the final member of my new family. A water tribe worker contracted a fatal case of ship fever while on route to the Fire nation. When I heard of her plight, I agreed to adopt her infant son myself. Now Iskander was a pampered little prince who was the adopted triplet of the twins. Between the three of them, I could see a golden future for the Fire nation.
"You look well yourself," I said, giving her a kindly nod. After leaving the circus, I had invited her to teach chi to my new family. Given a place in a family where she was unique and respected gave her a lot of happiness. "I hope my siblings aren't giving you any trouble."
"Nah, a few chi pokes and they are down for their naps like little dears," Ty Lee said cheerily. I grinned and hoped she was joking. Knowing my friend, I really had no idea.
"Glad to hear it," I mumbled. Neither of us spoke of Azula, the friend and sister who was dead. Her name was forgotten, even if she would never be. Mai too had disappeared, running away from the palace of Omashu (New Ozai was a terrible name) after receiving a mysterious letter and had never been seen again. I always wanted to ask her if she blamed me for the loss of her friends, but knew better than to bring up the subject. We both had lost a lot, it was best we moved on. "I'll have my chi-blocking lesson after dinner tonight." I had enjoyed learning new styles. I had mastered Southern Praying Mantis with Toph as my teacher, but now I wanted to make my skills stronger.
"Okay, don't be late!" she said, before cart wheeling away. She was a pretty and kind girl and my court council was pushing me to ask her to marry me. I thought a lot about her. I didn't think of any Fire nation girl I liked better than her, but I just…didn't know if I wanted to live with her forever. When I imagined my wife…I saw someone…more sarcastic and stubborn and short.
"Nephew, eat before you waste away like a poor kitten seal," my uncle called out, waving my mother back to their table. "A man should greet quickly and eat thoroughly," he said, taking Lu Tien from the nursemaid and cuddling him. Fatherhood had always suited him. He had lost the excess weight and now he looked like the old General of the Nation that I remembered. "I told you, a man needs his sustenance."
It was so perfect, my little refuge away from the demands of ruling an empire that seemed to resemble a perfectly calm sea that had Unagi waiting to attack at any moment. Still…it was the happiest days of my life. As I poured myself some mango juice and bit into some delicious porridge, I considered myself almost perfectly happy.
"My lord, the lady Beifong is here," a page whispered, only increasing my good mood. Toph wasn't due till later today, but she had apparently arrived early. She always had to make an entrance. I couldn't wait to see her again; I had so much to tell her. She had stayed away far too long,
"Have her brought to the gardens. I'll greet her personally," I said, excusing myself from the table. I would bring my friend to my family in a moment, but I wanted a chance to speak to her before that moment of hugs and craziness. We had so little time to talk now that we had so many duties. I as Emperor and Toph as the future Leader of Ba Sing Se as well as the mistress of the Three Nation's Martial arts competition. I had often worried if friendship had been the price for comfort and security. We once spent nearly every day together, and now a rare letter was all I had.
I knew the garden was a perfect place to greet her. Toph loved the outdoors and the Fire Nation, with its metal floors still gave her a headache. When she did remain her, she had a little stone home in the gardens to call her own. I just wished she would stay with it more!
"Presenting her highness, Princess Toph of Ba Sing Se, general of the Fire Nation and heiress to the house of Bei Fong," came the announcer, as I felt little footsteps slap the marble tiles underneath the path that led out to the flower filled garden.
"Welcome," I said, smiling. It had been months since I had seen her, but I knew her anywhere. That smile that promised pain and suffering to those who annoyed her hadn't changed one bit. She had gotten taller but she was still my best friend.
"Emperor Zuko," my dearest friend said, bowing mockingly. She hadn't changed a bit in spirit. "Happy Coronation day. I like what you've done with the place. Much less of aden of evil," she noted. She had refused to adopt the fancy clothing and was still dressed in a silk shift and pantaloons. I laughed at the sight, but noticed that things had changed. If she hadn't developed…into a woman, she would have still looked like a boy!
"Thanks," I said, bowing to her. She was the only person outside my mother, uncle and grandfather who would receive such deference. "Glad to have you back. How is your little brother?" I asked, trying to make conversation. It had never been so awkward before.
She returned the bow with a friendly nod. "Ezer's great, he's already Earthbending his way into the kitchen to steal sweets. Mom and Dad send their regards. They apologize for keeping me away so long, but no one can handle Ez like me," she said proudly. I missed Toph terribly but I knew she had a family of her own. They needed her too. "Besides, you couldn't miss me, not with all of your family. I can't wait to see Uncle again. He must miss his favorite niece."
"You know he does," I said, realizing it had been close to a year since I had last spoken to her. We had exchanged frequent letters but knowing that her mother would be reading to them to her made me keep the letters formal. "We have a party waiting for you. You are the great hero of the nation. And you can even see Guru Pathik again," I said, still unsure what else to say to her. It felt so…awkward now.
"Of course I am and even if I am still working on clearing my chakras, I'm better than any warrior," she said ruefully. For my earth-bound friend, spiritual matters made her very nervous. She was too level-headed to believe in anything she could see with her feet.
"You're still the unbeaten champion of the Three Nation's tournament," I said with a smile. She had never lost a match and she had generously stopped fighting all rounds but the final ones, to give others a sporting chance. "So what else do you need to be?"
"That's right. So what's with all the servants? Trying to impress me?" Toph asked, as she kicked her shoes off and used the chance to look around. Her expression was unreadable.
"Why? Are you impressed?" I asked, with a laugh. There was very little that could astonish my level headed friend.
"Of course not. I knew you when you couldn't even rub two copper pieces together." Anyone else would have been thrown into the dungeons for such frankness to the Fire Emperor. Coming from her, it just made me chuckle.
"A lot has changed," I agreed, taking her hand so we could walk in the gardens in privacy. I just wished she could see the colors of the flowers my mother had ordered planted. She had cultivated a new Lotus flower as the new symbol of our empire. Something wonderful rising out of all the evil of my father, grandfather and great-grandfather. "And for the better. Cities are being built, new machines are increasing food production and free trade is bringing prosperity to the empire."
"Yeah, putting you on the throne was a good move of mine. How goes ruling the country?" she asked. Her eyes stared straight ahead, unseeing. How could such clear vision be blind?
I sighed. "I still deal with pockets of resistance, assassination attempts and the threat of poison had made meals a more…dangerous experience," I mentioned. Nothing too serious had happened, but I had a big family to protect now and my greatest fear was losing one of my precious people to assassins or anarchists who sought to return the world to war.
"People are becoming happier, I see it. So I think it will end soon. It's not like they have much of a reason to complain now," Toph explained. "You're a great ruler and you've been doing great things. All the nations are coming together for the empire. There have been marriages between the foreign Earth and Water benders and Fire nation citizens. There are new cities being built. What more do they want?" she demanded. She was always my biggest defender.
"I wish I knew. My father…did a lot of evil and people still haven't forgiven the Fire Nation. Some even still looked to the Avatar for peace, even though he left into retirement," I said. Toph had met him two years ago and she said Aang had decided that there was no point in continuing the war or keeping his duties as Avatar. I would have liked to apologize to him for all I had done, but he had disappeared again…as he tended to do. "It's getting better but I will be working for a long time to hammer this peaceful time into place. This rebel named Jet and his wife Uzala keep stirring up trouble."
"Well, you're the emperor and that's the way it's going to stay," Toph said, punching me in the arm. "I've gone through too much trouble to keep you there." I noticed that she used to have to reach up to punch me. Although she would never be tall, she now reached my shoulder. When did she grow?
"I'm touched, you care," I said lightly, taking her hand as we walked down the halls. "I almost think you might actually like me."
"And do you like me?" Toph asked softly, squeezing my hand. She had changed her hair style; it made her look less like the little girl I had rolled in the mud with. Done up in a tight warrior's knot, it made her look older. I realized she was fifteen now, not much younger than when I had been when I had first met her. So much had changed since that time. And I was starting to see that.
"I don't know what you're talking about?" I asked, feeling my heart beat a lot faster. I could feel myself begin to sweat. I didn't know why I was so nervous, I was just sick to my stomach with anxiety over a simple question. The stress was starting to get to me.
"I'," Toph said in a laconic tone. She always had a way of getting to the gist of the matter fairly quickly. I liked that about her, she never giggled like most girls.
"Everything I am is because of you," I said softly, as I bent down and kissed her forehead like I always had. "Of course I care."
Toph returned the kiss, bending the earth beneath her feet so that she was level with me. This time, it wasn't the chaste, sibling's kiss that we had always shared. She had yanked me closer and had kissed me fully on the lips, a hungry lover's kiss. "Zuko," she whispered as we broke apart.
"Yes?" I said, still feeling my cheeks hot. She really wasn't a little girl anymore, she was…a woman. My woman…though if I ever said that out loud, she'd pound me into the earth.
"I…love you," she said in a hard tone. She was the only person who could say that as a challenge. "There, you have it. I've waited a long time to say it but I said it now. It feels good to just get it off my chest. So do you feel the same way?" she demanded. "Because if you don't…I really don't care."
I squeezed her hand as I remembered everything about her, ever since I had met her that fateful day so long ago. I remembered how much I relied on her, how much she had taught me. I remembered how she had risked her life so many times for me. I had…always cared for her deeply. I was happiest when I was around her. I…didn't have any other girl because I always compared them to her. Yes… "Yes…I do," I whispered. "Very much." All thoughts of Ty Lee had faded completely from my mind. Instead, I just saw Toph.
"More than anything?" Toph pressed, punching my arm lightly. "I like to be appreciated, you know." She looked so happy in that moment. In the sunshine, her eyes sparkled and I forgot that they were blind. In that second, she just seemed so perfect.
"Well, I know why I had stayed unmarried since I assumed the throne. I was waiting for you to grow up a little," I lied. I had no idea that this would be the girl for me. In fact, I had always assumed my wife would be a refined Fire Nation beauty, not some rough and tumble girl who spat and burped and fought. But…it just seemed right for me. "So you better stay here with me now."
Toph smiled and hugged me hard. I didn't even mind her nearly crushing my ribs. It actually felt kind of good. "You know, I think I will," she said in a challenging tone. "Perhaps you should duel for my affection?" she dared me, with a grin.
"Duel who? Your father?" I asked with a laugh. "I don't think beating up my future father in law would be a good idea. Maybe I could duel your mother, she actually has martial arts training."
Toph laughed at my joke. Her father was one of the least athletic men in the world and we both knew it. "You've still got a big mouth. Someone is going to have to manage you. But I'm not Empress Material. You do know that, right?" she asked. "I just want to stay with you."
I smiled. I couldn't even imagine marriage to her right now, I just wanted to get used to having her as my…companion and partner. Yes, that sounded good. We had a long way to go, but it was a very good start. "I figured this would be complicated. Don't worry; I'm sure the court will get used to it. Now come on, everyone's waiting. We have some good news to tell them." I didn't care what anyone else would say about her being an outlander earth bender who was a parvenu and had no manners. She was just the girl for me.
AN-There will be an epilogue, discussing what happened to the characters at the same time and also, a look ten years into the future. Sokka, Haru, Suki, Aang, Katara and Jin will be mentioned, along with a few other people. And yes, you did see a mention of you who thought it was. You'll find out more next chapter.