Author's Note: Holy crap, this chapter should have been out two days ago! Sorry, Spring break has begun and people want me to go out and do things. Haha like yesterday, my friend randomly invited to a Kelly Clarkson concert (she was phenomenal btw) and you just don't say no to something like that! Oh well, anyways, no more excuses! This chapter turned out longer than I expected, but I had fun writing it!
Happy Reading Everyone!
Again, no beta. All mistakes are my own.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, nothing, nothing. No profit made etc. See Chapter 1 for more elaborate disclaimer.
~C.
(Chapter 26)
"Can I be really honest with you? Because it comes from a place of caring." Kurt put a hand over his heart, as if to authenticate the sentiment. "Been there, done that. Look, you're amazing, Blaine. Your solos are breathtaking. They're…" Kurt cleared his throat, trying to gather up the courage. "They're also numerous." Kurt bit his lip hesitantly, wondering if he had a right to speak up about it. He also didn't want to hurt Blaine's feelings, but lately…well; lately he's been feeling a bit bolder, a bite more outgoing, maybe even a bit more confident in himself.
I still can't believe I'm jealous.
Come on, Kurt; how can you be jealous?
If it weren't for Blaine, you wouldn't even be singing WITH the Warblers.
It's not your place to ask for more…for a chance at the spotlight.
Be grateful you're singing at all.
Suddenly, Kurt turned away from his vanity mirror when tweeting came out of the cage beside him. He giggled, "No, you're wrong Pavarotti! I did say it!" The bird tweeted again. Kurt sighed in defeat as he got up from the table, still clad in his blue silk pajamas. He fell back onto his bed. "Oh Pav, I can't lie to you. You're right, I didn't say any of that."
The canary chirped happily and Kurt rolled over onto his stomach to smile at the bird. "I was about to, but he just looked at me with those hopeful hazel-eyes; he was so close I could see the swirls of warm honey amidst the forest green." Kurt sighed, "This is so stupid. I want so much for him to like me as much as I like him that I'm not even willing to give him my honest opinion because it might hurt his feelings." Kurt groaned and rolled over into his pillow to muffle out incoherently.
Pavarotti gave out a little peep. Kurt quickly sat up straight, "You're right. You are SO right. Next time I see him, I'll tell him my honest opinion. I'll say, 'Look Blaine, sometimes I don't feel like we're the Warblers. I feel like we're Blaine and the Pips.' How does that sound Pavy?" The bird chirped, most likely not in response, but Kurt took it as one anyways.
Oh my gosh, I'm having a one-sided conversation with a yellow canary.
I should… probably be more worried about that fact than I actually am.
The pale boy shrugged, Pavarotti would never judge him. The bird had never been taught discrimination or hate. It was one of the things Kurt loved about the canary. Pavarotti was just a tiny bird that wanted to sing. "You know what Pavarotti? You…are my new best friend." He smiled as he got off his bed, he proceeded to go to his closet and get his uniform to wear for the school day. "But we'll just keep that between us, okay? No need to have Blaine get jealous over you taking his spot, huh?" Kurt giggled to himself, but when the bird didn't chip right away, he whistled to get its attention.
When Kurt didn't get a response the second time, he walked out of his closet and bent down a bit to peer into the small cage. "Pavarotti?" The little bird was lying on the bottom of the cage; it's little feet curled into itself and eyes closed. Kurt poked the metal cage, "Hehe…come on Pav, I thought we gave up on me trying to teach you to play dead." The bird didn't move; it didn't even look like it was breathing. Kurt poked the cage a little more, "Hey…come on…Pavy." The boy felt his eyes start to tear up; he didn't want to believe what his mind was trying to tell him.
He opened the cage and let his finger delicately stroke across the immobile canary's soft, little wing. "Pavarotti?" Kurt's glasz eyes welled up with tears and his chest constricted painfully when the small animal didn't react at all to his ministrations. He whipped his head towards his door and brokenly cried out as loud as he could, "DAD!"
Blaine frowned when he looked at his phone and found that Kurt had not replied to any one of his text messages. The other boy had not shown up for school that day and Blaine had become increasingly worried as the day drew on when not a word from Kurt was heard.
I hope everything is okay.
He jumped in his seat when Wes's gavel banged erratically. Blaine rolled his eyes; he had simply suggested they change up their tie and piping coordination, not makeover their entire uniform. What was the big deal? "Warblers, Warblers, I am merely suggesting that instead of wearing blue ties with red piping, we wear jackets with red ties and blue piping for the competition."
The room of Warblers broke into an uproar and expressed their reservations towards the idea. In the midst of the hysteria and gavel banging, Blaine randomly heard Trent shout out, "This is a Kangaroo Court!"
Is he ever going to tell us what he means by that?
Then, the double doors to the Warblers' common room opened. There, walking in with his head hung low and dressed all in black, was Kurt. He looked so…so sad. Blaine didn't even know why he was absent all day or what was going on, and yet, the little sniffles Kurt was trying to hide from everyone already caused Blaine's heart to ache. He didn't like it when his beautiful boy was sad; he especially didn't like it when he was crying. "Kurt, what's wrong?"
Kurt made a small sniffle, his mouth opening to speak, before it closed again with a snap. He squeezed his eyes shut, a tear tracking his down his cheek despite his efforts to hold them in. He opened his glasz eyes again; Blaine could see how glassy they were and the immense sorrow they emanated. Kurt tried again, "It's Pavarotti." He let out a shaky breath, his voice only a broken whisper in the room. "Pavarotti's…d-d-dead." The teary-eyed boy wiped a finger under his eye to try and get rid off the wetness there. "I suspect a stoke."
Blaine's eyes grew big and sympathetic. "Oh, my God. I'm so sorry."
The pale boy let out a wet laugh, "I know it's really stupid to be upset about a bird, but…"
No, no, I would never think anything you did was stupid.
The Warblers around the room lowered their heads in grief. Despite their earlier quarreling with one another, they were silent in respect for their fallen mascot, their deceased fellow Warbler. "He-He inspired me with his optimism and his love of song. He was…he was my friend."
Now, Blaine just wanted to wrap Kurt up in arms and whisper comforting words into his ear. The crestfallen look on his porcelain face was becoming too much to bear. "I know today we need to practice doo-wopping behind Blaine while he sings EVERY solo in the medley of P!nk songs…"
Wait, what? What I do?
That caught Blaine by surprise. He tilted his head, not really knowing where that statement came from. If you asked him, he'd say he detected a bit of jealousy mixed in with Kurt's mourning.
"…but I'd like to sing a song for Pavarotti today." Before Blaine could contemplate Kurt's earlier slightly resentful statement, Kurt conveniently produced a cassette from his jacket pocket. Blaine was surprised when not one person caused a ruckus and instead everyone sat down to give Kurt their full attention. He quickly realized that this was the first time Kurt had ever demanded the attention of an entire room, and the first time that no one objected or questioned it.
I guess even to them some things are more important than Regionals.
The beginnings of the chosen song began to play and Blaine's features grew soft.
Oh, Kurt…
Kurt clasped his hands in front of him and took a deep breath before opening his mouth.
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
Kurt's stunning voice fanned around Blaine like a warm blanket ready to swaddle him in comfort. He'd never experienced Kurt as open, and as vulnerable, as he was right now. Everything that was essentially KURT was being laid out in front of all of them.
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free
The Warblers had started harmonizing along with Kurt, backing him up, but Blaine was unable to really join in other than his distracted humming. He was just gazing at Kurt, completely enraptured by the emotional boy in front of them.
Blackbird fly, blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night
Blaine saw the welling up of tears in Kurt's glaze eyes spill over his cheeks. His triangular eyebrows furrowed together, his head started to throb as something tried to break through, and then…
Don't…don't do that. Don't cry…I…I hate t-to see you…c-cry.
The stuttered words in his head were combined with images of Kurt's wide-eyed, porcelain face in a dark room and his gorgeous eyes swimming with tears. He looked at Kurt closer, he stared at Kurt as he walked around the room, his entire being seemed to resonate more profoundly than ever in this moment with Blaine.
Blackbird fly, blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night
Blaine could feel his heart beat faster, his throat start to constrict slightly, and his stomach begin to get that fluttery feeling inside it. His body seemed to flush warm emotion. It-It was foreign to him, but not entirely unwelcomed.
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
Something snapped inside Blaine and started to swell in his chest. Hesitations, doubts, uncertainties, all those things that he was worried about didn't seem to be an issue anymore. He couldn't even remember why he had thought of them as an excuse in the first place. He couldn't bring himself to care about anything else in that precise moment, except for Kurt. Kurt, that beautiful, sweet, funny, compassionate, innocent boy, who he-he...
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
A sense of calm washed over Blaine as Kurt finished his song for Pavarotti; a fond smile quirking at the corners of his lips as everything fell into place in his head, and in his heart.
Who I love…
Blaine crumpled up another piece of notebook paper and added it to the pile of crumbled paper balls on the floor. He crossed his arms over his chest and huffed indigently.
Come on, Blaine!
Think!
He needed an idea, a song, a gesture, a poem, anything he could do to show Kurt how he really felt about him! Blaine needed to tell Kurt what he finally realized and it had to be perfect! It had to be romantic…
Ugh! If only I was any good at THAT!
Blaine curled his fingers in his gelled-down curls and tugged, not even caring if he freed them from their gelled imprisonment. He blew air out between his lips and stood up so he could jump side-to-side foot-to-foot. Maybe if he got the blood flowing to his head faster, he'd be able to think better. An idea of epic romance would just burst forth from his well-oxygenated brain. He was half-inclined to ask his mother, who was getting ready to go back to the Playhouse for a last minute rehearsal (nothing new there), but he was sure she'd be too busy to attend to any of his trivial problems. He mentally scoffed at the idea of his mom taking five minutes out of her dedication to the arts to help him come up with a decent plan.
Enough!
You wouldn't even be at Dalton if your parents didn't work as hard as they did.
Be grateful dammit.
He shook his head of that twinge of resentment, letting out a little noise of discontent when the jumping around hadn't done anything for his plan of action. Was he still not getting enough blood to his brain? Was that it? Blaine felt his pulse and realized it was relatively normal. He put his hands on hips; looking down at the floorboards he tapped his foot and tried to think of a way that would make him…well, think.
God, that's pathetic; I can't even think of a way to think.
It's not like I'm asking for much.
I just want to think of an idea to impress the boy who has turned my head to mush and my feelings upside-down.
…
Upside-down…that's it!
Blaine excitedly bounded over to the banister that aligned his staircase. Without a second thought on how this idea could possibly go wrong, he put both his hands on the floor and pushed his school-shoed covered feet off the floor to have his body straight in the air over his head. The olive-skinned boy smiled as he triumphantly did a handstand with his body resting against the staircase banister. He could already feel the blood rushing to his head, not even bothered by the fact that he had to shift his hands every so often to keep his balance.
I…am…brilliant.
"Blaine!" The upside-down boy jerked unexpectedly at his name being hollered out. His steadily sweating palms slipped on the wooden floorboards and his legs flailed at the falling sensation he was being over overcome with.
"I won't be home for dinner. Those newbies are just useless without my constant direction. I'm going to leave some money so you can order a…pi…zza?" Blair Anderson stopped the rummaging through her purse and furrowed her neatly plucked brows. She backed up from where she had been rushing towards the door to reverse to the spot at the bottom of the stairs. Turning her head to the side, she saw her youngest son whimpering pathetically as he had caught his foot between two of the banister bars in an awkward and probably painful angle.
Blaine's ankle was caught one way while his waist was twisted in another, his hands planted on the floor as he looked up at his mother with big puppy dog eyes. "Momma, m'stuck." He mumbled out quietly, crimson coloring his cheeks at how embarrassed he was.
Blair pursed her lips to keep her poker face in check. "I can see that, and pray tell, how did you come to be like this?"
The compromised boy whined from his awkward position and wriggled, only to whimper once again when his ankle gave a little twinge. "Mooooom."
Mrs. Anderson chuckled. "Aww." She walked over to where her son was caught and tilted her head at the stuck shoe. "All right, hold still." Then she rolled her eyes at how she simply twisted her son's shoe and it popped out of the banister's bars.
Blaine's body fell to the floor with a thud. "Ow." He sat up and rubbed his abused ankle, sniffling at how it still throbbed at bit. He looked up at his mother who had her eyebrows raised at him and he cleared his throat. "Sorry, it was…it was stupid. I-I won't do it again. You should get to work. I didn't mean to make you late, mom."
Jeez, stop being a baby.
A hand came down to rest on his shoulder, his mom crouching down to look at him more closely in her slacks, button-up, and blazer ensemble. "Hun…what's wrong?"
Blaine quickly shook his head. "Nothing. Mom, please go. You'll be late."
His mother stared at him while he tried his hardest not to look at her and only stare at the floorboards. "Blainey, you know I don't appreciate lying. I know you well enough to realize that those misty eyes are not because of a little hurt ankle. You're upset about something…what is it?"
"Right, now you're interested." He grumbled out, the silly nickname making him feel like a child and not a young man. Blair quirked her lips to the side at the response she received. When the younger boy didn't explain further, she looked around them for clues and saw the paper balls scattered on the floor. She reached out and grabbed one, opening it to peer at its contents. Blaine heard the crumpling and turned to look at his mother with wide eyes, "Wait, mom, don't read those!"
Blair just hushed her son as she read the note. She looked back at Blaine and quirked an eyebrow at him, "Sing him 'Animal.' Tell him how rockin' he looks in all his designer clothes. Apologize for being so clueless. Tell him he looks rockin' in anything he wears. Buy him another canary. Stop saying rockin'." Mrs. Anderson looked back up at Blaine and shook her head amused, "Blaine, what is this? How many more of these notebook sheets did you fill up?"
He covered his face with his hands in humiliation. "I-I don't know, really. Please don't read anymore, they're awful."
"Blaine, I'm not leaving this house until you tell me why all these trees had to die…you realize these are all going into recycling, right?" Blair smiled slightly when her younger son snorted in amusement. "So…who's the lucky guy?" When Blaine looked up at her with suprised eyes, Blair giggled. "Oh honey, I'm sure they're not for a girl, right?"
The hazel-eyed boy sighed, what was the point of hiding it any longer? "It's…It's Kurt. I-I want…I want him to be my…my boyfriend." He looked down at his hands uncomfortably; hoping what he just said was okay to want.
The young boy was caught off guard when his mom gasped and pulled him into a sudden hug. He blinked against her shoulder, dazed. "Oh I'm so happy for you!" She pulled back to look at him. "He's a real sweetheart. I knew the second I met him that you'd introduce him as your boyfriend. I just didn't think it'd take this long." In all honesty she didn't, but she was trying to be encouraging and supportive. She pulled him back in for another tight hug; Blaine just flailed. Before Blaine could tell her that he couldn't breathe, she pulled back to look at him in confusion again. "Honey, what on earth made you think singing 'Animal' to someone was appropriate?"
Blaine blushed, "I-I don't know. It seemed good at the time. I just wanted him to duet with me. I-I-It's not like it worked anyways. I've been trying so hard to figure out my feelings for him, a-and I guess the wrong song came out every time because I wasn't even sure how I felt myself. Does that make sense? I don't know, b-but now I'm sure. I'm positive. I want to be with him. I just…" He sighed, exasperated. "I just want to tell him in a really special way. He's been through so much, hurt and taunted so badly by others. I just want to make him feel special. I want him to KNOW how special I think he is."
Blair looked at her son thoughtfully, a giddiness inside her at the fact that her youngest son has found someone. Despite what he had said, she knew Blaine had been through a rough time too. She remembered Blaine coming out, her husband's reservations about it at the beginning, Blaine's attack. Even then, she shuddered at the memory of receiving the call from the ER. The short woman pushed it out of her mind, concentrating now on the fact that her son was healthy, safe and, quite frankly, smitten with a certain blue-eyed boy. "Blaine, I understand you want to make this big grand gesture, but don't you think maybe you are putting a bit too much pressure on yourself?"
"But mom, it has to be perfect…"
"Okay, okay. Just listen to me for a second. If Kurt was here, in front of you, right now, what would you say to him?"
"Mom…"
"Humor me, will you?"
Blaine huffed at his mom and thought it over for a moment, biting his lower lip as he tried to picture Kurt's face. A dopey smile spread across his face when he finally saw the other boy's face. "I'd tell him how breathtaking he is. How I think his blushes are simply adorable, that he's smart, and funny. It's not just that I think he's stunning; I can talk to him about anything. I could talk to him for hours. I want to know everything about him that there is to know. I want him to tell me things he'd never tell anyone else." A fond look crossed his features, "Also, he sees me, the real me. Without really realizing it…I think he makes me better, makes me want to be better. Today he sang, oh boy did he sing, and…there was a moment. One moment that I believe very few people ever get, and I can't let it get away from me."
I can't let HIM get away from me.
When Blaine looked back at his mom, she was nodding and giving him a very sappy smile. "Hun, I don't know what you are so frustrated about, because I think you just said everything perfectly."
Blaine pouted, "But I don't want to just say it. Anyone could say it. Plus, I'm not good with words when I'm around him. I always end up putting my foot in my mouth. The only time I'm ever really confident is when I sing, and that's what I want to show him."
Blaine's mother giggled when she got a sense of deja vu. Devon had never been very confident in his expression of feelings either. She supposed her youngest had gotten more than just her husband's similar features and likeable charm. Well, except for the voice, her Devon couldn't sing for crap. "Well, I wouldn't throw in the towel just yet. I think you may be closer to your 'plan of action' than you might think." Blair turned over the crumpled piece of paper that she still had in her hands. She pointed to the idea that Blaine wrote and erased several times.
Blaine looked at the piece of paper and back up at his mom, she winked at him. "You want him to share parts of himself with you? Then you have to start by sharing a part of yourself first. It takes two to make a relationship work Blaine. It's a lot of give and take, you need to make sure that you are ready for something like that."
The hazel-eyed boy nodded quickly. Only vaguely aware of his mother rushing to leave him money for dinner and hastily trying to get out of the house so she could make it to the last minute rehearsal. His mother was right; it wasn't about a demonstration that proved he could put his best foot forward for Kurt. He needed to show Kurt that he trusted him enough with his vulnerable side as well.
I can't say that I completely know how to be something like that for someone else, but the only person that I would be willing to try and learn for…would be Kurt.
A/N: So that was The Beatles' 'Blackbird' covered by Glee. I hope it came out all right, I'm not too sure. I think I'm just anxious to do the next chapter. *squeels* Hehe okay, reviews are so much appreciated! Just saying.