Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot

A/N: So I know the end of the last chapter left you all confused and scared and desperate. I'm sorry for that… But any and all answers shall be given now, in the final chapter… I've kept this from you long enough, so here it is…

PS: Try not to hate me too much

…...

"Magnus? Magnus, honey, are you ok?"

Alec's soft voice faded, giving way to a gentler one. Though this one was filled with sorrow, emotion, heart-breaking pain, thick with desperation and sadness. Magnus couldn't understand what was happening to Alec; that was, at least, until his eyes slipped open.

The shocking white light pierced his sight, burning the slits of his tired eyes. He adjusted to the room surrounding him and the pieces of his make-believe puzzle fell back into place. For one blissful moment, he had forgotten everything, but the incessant ticking of the surgical white clock on the wall told him that it was all a nightmare. A pleasant nightmare.

"Magnus? You haven't spoken for... 22 minutes. Do you need more time to think about it?"

Magnus sighed, the weight of disappointment heavy on his fading heart. It would be so easy, just go there, and see him, one last time. But he couldn't be selfish.

"No."

He whispered softly, his voice rough and broken, gasped through chapped lips.

"No. I don't need more time. I haven't got more time."

He heard his Aunt Ayesha's sad sobbed sigh and she wrapped an arm around his thin, brittle shoulders.

"Magnus, honey, there's no shame in wanting to see him again before-"

She cut herself with a sudden sniffle and Magnus could only shake his head, laughing without humour as he stared at the deep brown wood of the Doctors' desk.

"You can say it, you know. It's gonna happen whether or not you say and accept it. So say it. Say: There's no shame in wanting to see him again before I die."

Ayesha cried more, hugging his fragile frame in her arms, as tears that burned like acid spilled from his make-up-less eyes.

"I can't."

He whispered, his heart breaking.

"Why? I'm sure he would love to see you."

She replied, stroking his lifeless hair. Magnus shook his head.

"Not like this. I can't let him see me like this. I dreamed and dreamed of seeing him again some time. I thought we had all the time in the world. But we don't. And now i have, what? Like 2 months left. Right Doc? 2 months. I can't go back there. I can't let him see me again only to leave him forever after no time at all. I'd rather not put him through that. The day we moved away, i promised myself that i would never see those eyes... Those beautiful blue eyes, bluer than the ocean... I'd never see them cry again. I can't do this to him. As much as i want to, i long to, i need to; i won't. I thought about it. Extensively. And so much could happen between us in those 2 months. We could finally figure ourselves out. It could be amazing. Everything could be as it should be. But... I can't give him that just to rip it all away when i inevitably die on him. I love him too much to do that. Even now, after 5 years of nothing, i still love him. It took me a long time to realise it but i love him. And that's why he can't know about this. When i go, don't tell him. Don't invite him to the funeral. Let him live his life without this. Please... Just... Please."

He trailed off into uncontrollable sobs, wailing like a banshee and screaming for a god he didn't believe in. After everything he had been through; when he was younger, when his mom got sick, when his father killed himself in prison. And now. Now it was his turn.

"Ok, honey. If you're sure about this, then that's what we'll do. I respect your wish. But... I just wish you'd wish differently."

Magnus sighed as he calmed down, the doctor staying silent through it all, having done her part in delivering the news:

Stage 4 cancer. Osteosarcoma. Advanced. Nothing they can do. 2 months to live.

"I know. But, he's special. He's amazing and he's still my best friend. I can't break his heart all over again. I won't. I'll let him be happy. Because if he's happy, i can die happy."

He nodded slowly, wiping away tears with long, thin fingers. Ayesha stood up, grabbing her bag, as Magnus righted his appearance as best he could in his current state.

As they walked to the door, Magnus turned to his doctor.

"Thank you for trying, Doc."

She smiled sadly.

"I am truly sorry, Magnus. If there was a way..."

He nodded.

"I know. It's ok."

They shared a smile and Magnus left the doctor's office for the last time.

...

1 month, 26 days and 17 hours later, Magnus lay in his bed, too weak to move, shuddering and stiff, broken beyond repair.

He gazed out of the window, watching the first early signs of winter claim the land outside. Right about now, he could have been, should have been, thinking about Homecoming. Of dates and outfits. Make up and music. Making out and laughing. Love and happiness.

His heart fluttered as he imagined Blue Eyes all grown up, black hair messy and wild, blue eyes bright and captivating. Magnus bet he was tall, muscled, super fine. Maybe he was a writer, or a singer, or a scholar. He was always the clever one. In his final year of high school by now.

When they were younger, they said they would go to college together, get an apartment together, and be best friends forever. Truthfully, Magnus was never ok with that. He had loved Alec from the minute they met, though the way he loved him had varied with time.

Time.

Something that was no longer on Magnus' side.

He could hear the clock ticking, as he did all through his beautiful nightmare, counting down the minutes in the background, the ceaseless march of the Grim Reaper, the knocking of Thanatos on his door. It was nearly time to go.

Magnus reached out to his bedside table and grabbed an old piece of paper, torn at the edges, a faded old Polaroid from 2009.

Max's first birthday party. They had silly party hats on their heads, grinning like idiots at the camera. Magnus held a small figurine of Captain America in his hand; the one he bought for Max. While the blue eyed boy mimed shooting him with a finger-gun. In the background, the family was happy, laughing and smiling. Magnus could remember the sound of laughter, the music, the smell of the cake, the taste of the soda. The whole day came back to him as though it were yesterday.

He smiled with tears in his eyes, shaking from head to toe under the weight of his pain, as he recalled a day one year later, 2010. The day he left.

He remembered sitting on the curb, beside his blue eyed boy, silent for a while, neither of them knowing quite what to say. He remembered the way the boy tried to smile, the way he called him 'Kitty Cat'. He remembered that final lingering look they gave each other as the moving van drove away. The last time he ever saw those blue, blue eyes.

Sighing, gasping, spluttering a breath, Magnus leaned forwards, taking hold of the spoon that was leant on his bowl, raising the final spoonful to his lips. His last meal: Cookie dough and Raspberry ripple combo ice cream.

He savoured the flavour, smiling at the taste, how it took him home, just like the first time he tried it, the day they met. He smiled, placing the bowl on the table, casting one, final yearning look at the outside bustle of Brooklyn, sending a silent prayer to his mother.

Then he took the photo in his hand, bought to his lips, and gave the blue eyed boy the only kind of kiss Magnus could, and would, ever give him.

With tears in his eyes but a smile on his face, stroking the smiling boy in the photograph, he whispered softly in a voice smooth as honey.

"Oh, Alexander, darling... I'm so sorry. I wish things had been different. I wish we could have had the life we deserved. But i guess it wasn't meant to be... But, God, how did we end up here, Blue Eyes?"

Then his hand fell limp and the photograph fluttered from his grasp, like a delicate butterfly in the summer sky, landing over his silent heart, as the last tear rolled down his cheek and he left this world with a gentle smile, his last thought of those blue eyes carrying him home.

...

A/N: And cut.

Welcome to the end, my dear readers, I love you all and I am so sorry. All my other fics have a happy ending and I decided to do something a little for this one. I know you probably don't love this chapter, but I hope you enjoyed it and everything. Stay tuned for new updates of HOW TO FALL FOR S OMEONE YOU SHOULDN'T…

PS: If anything about this chapter/entire fic confuses you, ask me any questions in the reviews and I'll add a final Authors Note to the end explaining it all if that helps.

Thank you for reading! I love you all! And I'll see at my other fic now :)

Love, and regrets,

Anna…xxxx