We are at the cabin just me and Ted. My parents had taken Addlyn for the week since my dad was fixen to go back on the road they wanted to spend Some time with their 3 month old granddaughter. I remember the first time nursing her and seeing her open her eyes just made me miss her that much more. Ted and me were sitting in the hot tub. I had pumped before we left for thr cabin and i had stored some of my breast milk so I had to mentally tell myself everything is going to be ok. "Addy thank you for giving me another chance". Ted sayd as he draws me closer to him. "Thank you for letting your sperm fertile my egg" I say and we both bust out laughing. "Thank you for our daughter" I say as I look up at Ted. He kisses me and I moan as I wrap my arms around his neck deepening the kiss. "Not here" Ted says. As he helps me out of the tub, we dry off and he leads me up to the bathroom and we shower. He is teasing me the whole time bringing me to the edge and then stopping. We wash and rinse off, and get out and dry off. He lays me down in middle of the bed and he climbs between my legs and presses his tounge to my clit. I open myself up to him and press myself against his mouth. I moan as he slides two fingers inside of me "oh teeeedddd". I all but scream as my orgasm hits quicker than expected. He eases his fingers out and he presses against my opening he kisses me as he shoves in I wrap my legs around his waist. I wrap my arms around his middle pressing him aganist me as he pumps in and out. "You feel amazing Addy". Ted says as he sucks a nipple into his mouth I groan as my nails are pressing into his skin. The pressure mounting for both of us he rolls so that iam on top. "Your in control babe". I laugh as I lift up and slowly bring myself back down while Ted's hands are exploring my post baby body. I had to admit to myself my post baby body this time around really proved that I was a woman and not a teenager anymore. I lean down and kiss Ted as his tounge plunges into my mouth as he begins to pound me. I moan as his hands cup my ass "I love addy". Ted says as he shoots his seed deep in me as I fall apart in his arms loving it and the man that had given me two beautiful little girls. As we are laying there looking at each other I can't help but want him again. "Your my everything Ted" I say as he kisses me he wraps an arm around my waist and we fall asleep wrapped up in each other. It was a month after getting back from the cabin life seemed to be flying by. Addlyn was 4 months old now and she was growing everyday. She is sucking from my breast as I run my fingers through the nest of brown hair. It has hard to tell who she favoured because she looke d like me, I think both guys knew what was going on in my mind but neither of them said anything. I switch her to the other breast and she suckles from that one. Ted was packing his things to go to a house show tonight he really didn't want to leave but I reassured him I would be fine. He comes into the room and kisses me as he watches his daughter nurse. "I have never seen such a mote beautiful sight". Ted sayd as he squats down and kisses his daughter on the forehead. Addlyn finishes nursing and I burp her and change her bottom and lay her in her crib. I lean up just watching her sleep as Ted comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist kissing my neck. We leave the nursery and Ted leads me to the living room where his bags are. I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes, maybe he shouldn't go. He places his fingers under my chin and lifts my eyes up to his "Addy if you don't want me to go say so I will call vince and tell him." Ted says as he draws me closer to him "No baby its ok, you know my hormones are all crazy"! I say as we kiss goodbye I walk him to the truck and he climbs in and raisies down the window anf I step up onto the step and he pulls me closer all but pulling me through the window. We both laugh as we kiss for about 15 miuntes and then I remembered Addlyn is in the house. We say goodbye and I watch him drive out of sight and I head instead already ready for him to come home. It was a great thing that Brandi and Cody lived next to us she would come over with Madison and Allison when they boys were at a show. She had named her daughter Madison and I was honored that she would do so. Allison was almost six now and she looked mote like Cody everyday. I had just checked on Addlyn when my cell phone starta to ring. I almost pass out when Cody tells me that Brandi had collapsed on the floor and was being rushed to the hospital. I gather Addlyn's diaper bag and begin to pack it with the things she needs. I call Ted while iam doing so and tell him what's going on, he tells me that he will be back home as Soon as his match is over with. We hang up and I pick up Addlyn and put her in the carrier and place her in the car. I call Cody and tell him iam on my way I can tell by the sound of his voice that he is worried and he had every right to be.
My mom and dad take Addlyn and Madison for the night so that I can help with Brandi. At the hospital Cody crushes me in a hug and I feel his body shaking the man was a train wreck. "What did the doctors say Cody" . He looks at me and I can tell its not good news. "They said that she doesn't have a chance of makinf it. That they have not been able to control her sugar since she had the baby. She is pretty in a coma and there's nothing we can do". I can feel my own emotions take over I needed Ted and he was was due in an hour ago! I hug Cody back seeking his warmth and comfort "please keep Ted safe". I whisper to myself not wanting to be without him. I go back to see Brandi I take her hand as Cody is standing at the doorway but before I can say anything the doctor pulls me aside "Mrs. Dibiase. Your husband was in a car wreck tonight." I almost loose my lunch "He doesn't have much of a chance at making it. He fell asleep at the wheel and hit a pole." I sink to the floor of the hospital, not this please tell me I won't loose my husband and best friend at the same time! He was rushed to the same hospital as Brandi as I'm waiting for them to let me go back and see him I'm in Brandi's room. She is slightly awake and she grabs my hand along with Cody's. "Takr care of each other. Yall have always loved each other. Don't deny each other anymore. Make it right between you two and for the kids". she takes Cody's hand and my hand and she claspes them together and looks at us. I hug Brandi and Cody kisses her and she's. The doctor tells me I can go see Ted. I wipe my palms on my pants as iam standing outside his room. I collect my nerves as Cody comes up beside me and we enter his room. Ted is asleep but he is bruised and cut up, I kiss him on the forehead and his eyes flutter open. "Hey my love. I love you Addy always know that. But you need to do what your heart deserves Addy." Ted looks at Cody and he looks at me. "Cody take care of her and the kids. She has always loved you." He takes our hands just like Brandi did and he clasps them together. His heart rate starts to slow and I'm beginning to panic. I kiss his lips as I begin to cry, Cody helps me out of his room as he flatlines. "Why, why, why". I scream as I'm standing outside his room. "I can't do this". I weep as Cody tries to hug me but I push him away. Next thing I know I'm running, I'm running as fast as I can out of the hospital and out into the night air. I can't seem to breathe as I gasp for air, then I feel his arms around me. I sink to the ground as he goes with me cradling me. Cody doesn't say anything but lets me cry on him as his own tears hit the top of my head. What in the world was I going to do without my husband, yes I had my family and friends but I needed my husband. I'm at home standing in the shower just letting the hot water run over my body. I'm numb, I don't want to feel anything but my husbands arms around me. I have cried so much that I don't think I can cry anymore but fresh tears come pouring out of my eyes as I sink to the floor of the shower and I scream...I keep screaming until my voice is gone. But I couldn't let myself keep doing this I had Addlyn to think about. I quickly gather myself together and I wash my hair and my body and I get out and dry off. Addlyn was napping in her crib I had already nursed and changed her. I loom in the mirror and I have changed I have lost weight and my face is pale and gaunt. Today was Ted's funeral and tomorrow was Brandi's. I put my make up and dress and I spray what was Ted's favorite perfume on me. I leave my hair long, because that's the way Ted loved it. Cody is picking me up and taking me because that is what Ted and Brandi wanted, they knew me and Cody's love for each other never died we just went separate ways for a while. I slip on my heels and grab my purse, I had already packed Addlyn's diaper bag and pumped enough milk for at least three feedings. Cody knocks on the door and I answer as he gives me a slight smile he grabs Addlyn and craddles her in his arms, Allison and Madison were with Brandi's family. Cody puts Addlyn in her carrier and we get into the car ready to face the day and say goodbye to my husband. It was a good service and as I watched his casket being lowered into the ground I knew Ted was in a better place. My mom and dad had taken Addlyn tonight so I could what they say "get some sleep". The next day I had to say goodbye to my best friend and then maybe then I could try to do what I promised her I would do. I wake up early than I thought I would and I climb out of bed and go downstairs and fix some coffee. Its only 5am but I call my mom and check on Addlyn "Addy...are you ok"? "Yes mom I wanted to check on Addlyn". "She is fine honey. She drank a bottle about an hour ago she is sleeping". "Do I need to pump anymore milk"? "Actually she has been doing pretty good with thr baby food during the day". "That's great mom". I say as we talk for a few more minutes and then hang up. I jump in the shower and decided to get ready for the day since I was up anyway. The funeral was at 12 today and if I didn't get ready I would be late. This time I'm the one picking Cody up, I knock on the door and he opens it shit I forgot how handsome he looked dressed up. I shake the thought from my head and grab his hand it was already 11am and if we didn't leave now we would never beat the traffic. Brandi's family was very welcoming and hugged me. I don't know what Brandi told them but whatever it was they super nice. Driving home Cody places his hand on my thigh I smile at him and he smiles back. I drop him off at his house and then park my car and head in my own house. I quickly strip down to my bra and panties and I kick off my shoes and panty hose and flop down on my bed and cry. Why did it have to be so hard to say goodbye?
6 month later
I get up early and decided today was the day I would go put new flowers on Ted's grave. I had not been to his grave yet and I knew it was long overdue. I still kept my wedding band set on thinking maybe this way I still had a part of him with me. Cody was doing ok the kids were doing great also, he was an excellent father and he loved this children. Addlyn was getting so big she was 11 months old and she was getting into everything. She was walking and had cut several teeth, she was my pride and joy and there was no doubt in my mind that me and her would be ok. She adored Cody and since she was so young when Ted died she thought Cody was her father. He didn't correct her and I didn't either there was no point in telling her the truth of everything noe she was just way to young. Cody had decided to go with me today so I wouldn't have to go by myself but I knew the real reason it was because I refused to move on with my life at this point in time. Ted was my husband and there was no man who I thought could take his place. I kiss Addlyn goodbye as I drop her off at Ted's parent's house "addlyn says bye bye". As I wave at her, she was a beautiful little girl and looked like me. Cody gets into the car and he tries to grab my hand, which I pull away I just wanst ready to move on...we pick out the arrangements and head toward the cemetery. I throw the old flowers away and place the new ones on his grave. "I miss you my love. Our second timr married together didn't last long. I so wanted to spend more time with you". I say as I literally lay on top of where he is buried at, I dony know how long I laid there but Cody shakes me and I look up at him "Hello". "Hi". Cody holds out his hand and he helps me up, I brush the grass off of me and he pulls me toward him. I try to pull away but his arm slips around my waist. "Addy please I need you"! I push him away and he follows after me I drive home speeding the whole way and Im just about at the front door when he yells for me. "Addison Rose Calaway STOP"! Cody yells as he runs toward me. He pins me against the front door he looks down at me his eyes burning into mine. "I need you Addy". he says as he kisses my neck. "Cody no". I say as I try to push him away again. He pins me against the front door again and his mouth covers mine. "Please Addy". He whispers as presses against me and I can feel his hardness. My mind feels fuzzy, this is too soon way too soon after Ted's death I can't do this! "Stop thinking Addy and just let me complete you". Cody says as he picks me up and I wrap my legs around his waist. There was no turning back now. "Addy". Hey says as he looks into my eyes. "You know we are meant to be together. We have made separate lives from each other when all this time. It should have been us having babies and getting married". Cody says as he wipes the tear from my eye. He kisses me again and I'm lost. I slip from his arms and grabs the keys from my purse. He grabs my hips and presses his front to my ass, I moan as he grinds his erection against me. I can't get the door open soon enough and as the door opens we fall through the front door together a mess of legs, arms, and tounges. It feels right but I don't want to forget Ted. Then I remember what him and Brandi said at the hospital, even both of them knew we were meant to be together. I try to push Cody off of me but I forgot just how strong he is. "Please Addison". He never called me Addison unless he really meant for me to pay attention. He slides his hand on the inside of my dress cupping my panty covered mound. Clothes are flying as my skirt, his pants, and panties and boxers are coming off. We are naked on the floor of foyer, he kisses me as he pressing two fingers inside of me. I arch into hin as he takes a nipple into his mouth. I can sense the urgency in our caresses and the desire in our kisses. He lifts my hips and then looks down at me. He is on his knees with my lower part resting on his thighs. "please". I nod my head and he shoves inside of me. I moan as he grabs my hips and thrusts in and out of me. He sits me up so that I'm straddling him the moment we lock eyes I know and feel in my heart its the right thing. We gring against each other his hands grab my hips and he shoves into me over and over. I arch my back and scream out my pleasure as he spills his seed inside of me. He collapse on the floor his head on my chest, I still felt guilty about being with Cody when Ted had only been gone a couple of months. I needed a sign that it was ok to move on. I quickly get up and gather my clothes, "please leave Cody. I need sometime to think to myself". Cody goes to say something but I turn and leave the room. He gathers his clothes and leaves locking the door behind him. He was not surprised that Addison had reacted this way, in her opinion she hadn't had time to heal from the death of Ted. She wanted a sign from something or somebody telling her it was ok to let and move on. Until then he would give her the space she wanted, he didn't want to but he would not force himself on her he would let Addison come to htm when she felt the timing was right. I take a shower wanting to earse the smell of Cody off of me, shit I felt like such a whore. I climb out of the shower, dry off and climb into bed.
I'm walking through a meadow, full of springtime flowers. I'm searching for him but I dont see him. I feel strong arms wrap around me and I already know who it is. Ted turns me around and I'm overjoyed at seeing it. "Addison. Its ok...I'm in a better place now. You are free to be with Cody." "But its you I want my love". Ted places a finger on my lips before I can say anything else. "I will always be here". He says as he places hid hand over my heart. I cry as he places his fingers under my chin and lifts my eyes toward his. He kisses me lightly on the lips and I want to deepen the kiss but I know this is his way of letting me go. "Cody loves you Addy let him be the man in your life now. Raise our kids as you and his kids. Be a family Addison, that is the way it should have always been my love". I nod my head ad he begins to fade away from me. It was ok for me to move on and not feel guilty about it. I wake up with a start "Ted" I call out and I know it was just a dream I hug my knees to my chest and cry. Bit not a sad cry its a release and tears of joy knowing that everything is going to be ok. I look at the clock its 12am in the morning but knowing Cody he is probably wide awake. I freshen myself up and I throw on a long jacket with nothing on underneath. I lock up my house and I make the short treck to Cody's house, I go to ring the doorbell but I realize the door is unlocked. I enter the house and I close the door. I make my way up the stairs and to his bedroom "here goes nothing". I say myself as I open the bedroom door. Cody is laying in the middle of the bed with the sheet around his waist. The man hsd impressive...qualities I guess you could say. I strip off the jacket and walk to the end of the bed. I had never done anything quite like this, I slowly slide the sheet down. Damn even in his sleep he was massive I laugh to myself as I crawl up beside him and lay down with my head on his chest. I feel his arms wrap around me and pull me closer and he kisses my neck. Maybe he was not asleep after all. "Addy". He whispers but is still asleep I kiss his lips "I'm here Cody...I'm here". His eyes open and he sees that it is me. "Addison". I look up at him and smile. He wraps his arms around me and we both fall asleep that way knowing it was what we both needed. I wake up the next morning and Cody has one lef thrown over my legs and one arm around my waist. I have to use thr bathroom but Cody won't let go. I try to wiggle my way out of his arms he just tightens more. "You big dummy. Let me up"! Cody slips a hand between my thighs and cups my mound. I groan as Im immediately turn on but my bladder is about to bust. "I have to use the bathroom dear". Cody laughs as he finally releases me and I climb out of the bed and pad toward the bathroom. I do what I got to do and I come out into the bedroom. Cody looked so innocent sitting up in the middle of the bed. "You came". "Yes". I say. He opens his arms to me and I climb into them. "I love you Cody Runnels" "I love you Addison Rose Calaway"