Chapter 26

"I want to thank you for the presents you gave the kids," Luke was sitting across from Mara at a local caf shop a few blocks down from his sister's apartment. They had just dropped off the children at the Solo's and made quick exit before they could realize their parents were gone and make a fuss. Not that Luke thought that was going to be a problem, Jemma and Owen were particularly attached to their Aunt and Uncle and little Ben appeared to have a bad case of hero worship when it came to his older cousin Jacen.

"I am glad they liked the gifts," Mara replied after a sip of her caf. "Not that I was surprised, Owen and Jemma seemed to go out of their way to hint to me what they wanted. I'm glad, because I never would have thought Jemma would have wanted a stuffed Rancor doll. I was going to buy her something more feminine."

Luke laughed, "In many ways she takes after you, she's more of a rough and tumble type of person."

Mara simply smiled. "And I'm also glad Owen let me know he wanted a model Star Destroyer. Ben wanted to buy him one of those 25 centimeter Luke Skywalker dolls," she smirked expecting Luke to react in his typical shy manner.

"Well, it is a good thing you didn't, we already have one," Luke chuckled.

Mara raised an eyebrow. "Ohhh really," she drawled, "I would think buying a Luke Skywalker doll would go against your humble Farmboy nature."

"I didn't buy it, it was a gift from Rogue squadron," he was quick to point out. "Hobby found some bootleg copies being sold in a pro-rebellion outer rim planet. This was right after I blew up the Death Star. There was a Princess Leia and a Luke Skywalker figure that were made, and Hobby and Wes…." Luke trailed off and this time he did blush, looking away embarrassed.

Mara grinned wickedly, "And?"

Luke rubbed that back of his neck, not meeting Mara's gaze. "And what?" he asked innocently.

The former assassin wasn't going to let him off the hook. "I can sense your embarrassment and I don't think it has to do with you owning a Luke Skywalker doll," she said with a grin, "so fess up."

"Action figure," Luke interjected.

"What."

"It was a Luke and Leia action figure," he corrected, "and I am not embarrassed about that… it was what Hobby, Wedge and Jansen was doing with the figures… plus the fact that I ended up with a sprained ankle that day." He looked down embarrassed. "I am surprised you haven't heard the story."

"Oh please," Mara laughed, "you've got to tell me this story."

Luke sighed and continued the embarrassing tale. "Well, you have to remember, this was way before anybody knew that Leia and I were brother and sister. Hobby and Jansen were…" Luke trailed off for a moment, thinking how to word this, "they were putting on a little skit where Leia and I were talking… and then they had me telling Leia some embarrassing stuff and, well, it went downhill from there."

Mara chuckled covering her mouth with her hand but managed to ask, "How did you sprain your ankle?"

"Well," he blushed an even darker shade of red, "Wedge saw that I was embarrassed, so he confiscated the dolls, I mean action figures, and chewed them out. But then he unzipped the little flight suit the Luke figure was wearing and said to me, 'Luke, did you know these dolls are anatomically correct?' I was so shocked that I practically jumped over the table to get the toy from him and I ended up spraining my ankle."

Mara burst out in laughter dropping her head to the tabletop and slapping her leg in amusement. "Oh, that is the funniest thing I have heard in a long time."

"The guys felt so bad that they gave me the Luke Skywalker figure as a present," Luke couldn't help but laugh himself.

"So are they?"

"Are they what?" Luke asked.

She snickered, "Are they anatomically correct?"

Luke shook his head exasperated. "No!"

"Just wondering," Mara said smugly as she sipped her caf.

They both sat silently for a moment. Luke shifted nervously in his chair, but then decided to break the silence by broaching a subject that he wanted to talk to Mara about for some time now. "Umm… Mara, in the next few months you will complete your training, have you thought about what you will do then?"

Mara's smile slipped from her face and she bit her bottom lip in thought. "I haven't made any final decision yet," she absentmindedly ran a slim finger around the rim of her cup of caf, "but Karrde did make me a job offer last week."

"Oh," Luke said startled, this was the first he heard of this.

"He just won a major shipping contract with the New Republic and he is looking to have a full time representative on Coruscant," Mara gave him an almost apologetic look. "He wanted to know if I wanted the position since Ben could then go to some of the galaxy's top schools and we would still be around family with your sister and Han and their kids living here."

Luke didn't know what to say as a rising panic seemed to tighten his chest and stole the oxygen from his lungs. He knew things would change when Mara completed her training, but he never let himself consider that she would leave. He was hoping she would take some sort of job at the Academy, not that she would go back to Karrde's organization. But if Luke was totally truthful with himself he had to admit it made sense. Mara had a child to support and working for Karrde would allow her to provide for Ben much better than an instructor at the Academy with a modest stipend from the government.

"Oh," was all that Luke could eventually manage.

"Unless," Mara said softly, "you have other plans for me."

"What?" Luke asked startled.

Mara rolled her eyes, "Well, Luke, I will be a Jedi and you are the Jedi Master in charge of the order," she pointed out.

"Oh," Luke said softly, "well, it is not like a military organization, you are allowed to maintain your profession… if that is what you want." He looked up at her hesitantly. "You are always welcome to stay on Yavin with me," once he said the words he realized how that must have sounded.

"Luke?"

"To teach, " Luke continued, "The academy desperately needs instructors with your skills. You could teach counter espionage, spying techniques, self defense methods."

"Oh," Luke wasn't sure if he heard disappointment in her voice or not, "I will have to think about that," she said softly. She took another sip of her caf and then looked around the café. "Will you excuse me, I have to use the 'fresher,"

"Sure," Luke said, standing as she left the table.

As Mara closed the door of the 'fresher she leaned against the wall dejected, letting out a deep sigh. She moved over to the sink and splashed water over her face and as she looked up to the mirror she gazed into her own sad green eyes.

'This is becoming too difficult,' she thought frustrated. She really didn't want to leave Yavin… and Luke, but the situation was becoming unbearable. 'It is like a cruel joke.'

For years Skywalker had been chasing after her and now she found herself yearning for him, spending sleepless nights in a cold bed, longing and hoping that he would once again venture to start a relationship with her. How did she get herself into this mess?

When she first agreed to come to Yavin it was not only because she had some desire to finish her training, but also because she found raising a baby aboard the Wilde Karrde was far too difficult. When Luke asked her to come to the academy she jumped at the chance to bring some stability to Ben's life and to provide him with better male role models than the hard drinking characters in Talon's employment.

Everything was fine at first, Ben thrived on the jungle moon and truly loved being with his cousins, but the daily contact with Luke caused those nascent feelings she had for Skywalker to blossom into what she was sure was love.

She loved Luke Skywalker and now he wasn't interested in her. Mara scoffed at the irony.

Running her hand through her hair she continued to gaze at her reflection in thought. "I should just leave," she said out loud. She knew the longer that her and Ben stayed with Luke the harder it would be to eventually leave. They both needed to move on with their lives and if it wasn't together, then they should have the space to date other people… and it was obvious that Luke must not be interested even though Mara had done just about everything to let him know she wanted a relationship. The only thing she hadn't done was kidnap him and fly him to Dathomir.

'No,' Mara thought to herself. 'The only thing I haven't done is straight out tell him I want a relationship.'

She straightened out her outfit as she prepared to return to the table. 'No, I won't do that,' she thought. 'If I ask him and he rejects me it will make things uncomfortable. I don't want to lose his friendship.'

When Mara left to use the 'fresher Luke was somewhat relieved. Her comment about Karrde's job offer threw him for a loop as he didn't know what he would do if she left him. He had grown accustomed to having her around him, helping him, raising the children together. They supported each other and were like family to each other. Luke quickly was becoming panicked at the thought of losing her.

Sighing he ran a hand over his face, he may be a Jedi master and Mara soon to be a knight, but that didn't give him authority to make her stay. And really, what did he have to offer her except the austere, and often dangerous, life of a Jedi. Luke shook his head, Mara would be a fool to turn down Karrde's offer.

However, there was the problem of his growing attachment to her. Han was right, he still had feelings for Mara that he long thought had died. Instead, they had simply been filed away in light of his love for Jadie. But with her gone, he was rediscovering his emotions.

And this was the cause of daily anguish for Luke.

He wanted to tell Mara, but he couldn't face her rejection for a third time, and then there was still the problem of guilt. He could still remember that day Jadie found out about Mara and she slapped him… hard. Jadie thought she was a replacement for Mara, and if he started dating the trader, would Mara think he was simply trying to replace his deceased wife? How could he explain to her the complexity of what he felt?

And could he live with the guilt? Would Jadie be looking at him through the Force, denouncing him, sure that her accusations were true, one was merely a replacement for the other?

Luke sighed again, no matter where Mara and Ben go, they were a still part of his family, albeit in an unconventional way, but they were a family nonetheless. He would be selfish to want more.

Mara returned to the table a few minutes later looking uneasy. "It is getting late Luke, I think I should be getting back to my hotel room."

Luke rose from his seat and grabbed his jacket that was hanging on the back of his chair. "I'll walk you to your room," he said with a calmness that he did not feel.

"Sure," Mara replied with a slight smile.

Luke left credits on the table to cover the bill and tip and followed Mara out of the café. They walked in silence back to Mara's Hotel, both seemingly in deep thought. When they finally got to her room, Mara produced a passkey and unlocked the door. She turned and gave Luke a look he couldn't quite recognize.

"Luke," Mara said quietly. "Would you like to come inside for a while," she hesitated for a moment. "We could talk, if you like."

He wanted to tell her yes, to grab her in his arms and tell her how much she means to him, to beg her never to leave, but he couldn't, an overwhelming feeling of guilt washing over him. He couldn't help but feel he would be dishonoring his wife's memory.

"Umm… no, I think I will be getting back to my room." Luke answered reluctantly.

"Oh… okay," this time Luke was sure he heard disappointment in her voice.

"I will see you tomorrow at Leia's when we pick up the kids," he said quickly.

"Yeah," Mara replied and then looked down to the ground, "I guess I will see you then."

"Okay," Luke started stepping backward back toward the lift, "tomorrow."

"Tomorrow," Mara said reluctantly as she closed her door. Luke turned and moved into the lift and shook his head. "How can I be desiring Mara so soon after my wife's death? Jadie would be disgusted with my behavior," Luke scolded himself as the turbolift traveled to the ground floor.

The doors opened and Luke quickly moved across the lobby and into the cool night air. He walked in a daze through the Corsucant walkways until he found himself in one of the many small parks that were interspersed throughout the urban planet.

He stopped to look at a statue of an Ithorian holding a large tome in one hand and a large blaster in the other. An inscription at the base of the statue said he was a hero of the Battle of Coruscant during the clone wars: a soldier and senator.

"Master Skywalker?" A voice sounded from Luke's side startling him out of his revelry.

"Connor?" Luke asked, shocked at seeing somebody from Nirauan here. Connor no longer wore the military uniform of the Empire of the Hand, but other than that he looked the same as he did the last time Luke saw him… at Jadie's memorial service.

Connor gave Luke a wide smile and moved forward to shake Luke's hand and clasp his shoulder with his free hand. "It is so good seeing you Master Skywalker," his greeting was warm.

"It is good to see you also, Connor. What have you been up to?"

"Well, I left the Empire of the Hand at the end of my enlistment contract and I started my own company. We provide security for people—dignitaries, celebrities, CEOs, and sometimes even NR military if they are going into an area and want to maintain a low profile. It pays a lot more and I now have more flexibility of movement."

"That sounds great," Luke said and then furrowed his brow in thought. This seemed like too much of a coincidence-- Connor and Luke meeting in the most densely populated planet in the galaxy. "Is that why you are here? Security job?"

Connor's broad smile slipped a bit and his face became more serious. "No," he said slowly, "I am here to fulfill a promise I made to a friend almost four years ago."

Luke could sense the change in Connor's demeanor. "What do you mean?"

Connor sighed. "Commander… I mean Master Skywalker," Connor corrected himself, "remember when I said Jadie left me written instructions about finding Lumiya's son?"

Luke nodded.

"Well, she left me more than one envelope with instructions. I was to open them at the time and location she specified on the outside of the envelope. She asked me to follow the instructions inside the envelope to ensure the future she picked stayed on tract during its many divergent points."

Luke felt like his breath froze in his lungs. "And?" he was finally able to choke out.

"And one of her envelopes said I was to be here at this time and place. I would see you and I was to give you this," Connor said as he handed Luke a piece of flimsiplast folded in half.

Reaching out and taking the note with trembling hands he unfolded it and quickly recognized his wife's handwriting. There scrawled on the white flimsi was a short message:

Luke, we loved each other and always will. We had our time together and you filled my short life with happiness. I want you to be happy again. Please don't give up on the chance to love.

Luke felt as if his mouth had dried up and he had trouble swallowing. He looked up with tear rimmed eyes at Connor. "Did you read this?"

Connor flushed with embarrassment. "Yes," he admitted reluctantly.

Nodding his head silently, not knowing what to say, Luke read it over again.

"We talked a lot after we left Nirauan," Connor added quietly. "She really loved you, Master Skywalker. I don't know exactly your situation now, but if she is talking about Mara, I want you to know that Jadie talked about Mara fondly in the couple weeks we were together before her death."

Luke nodded again, unable to talk. Getting a message from his beloved wife filled him with overwhelming emotions, many of which he didn't understand. "Thank you Connor."

"I am honored to help, Master Skywalker. It was great seeing you again, but I have to get back to Kuat where I am supposed to be providing security for a member of the Royal family in a few days."

Connor turned and walked off as finally Luke pulled himself out of his stupor. "Connor, wait!"

The young man turned and looked at Luke. "Yes?"

"You said there was more than one envelope. Is this the last one?"

Connor smiled. "No, there is another. But I am not to open it for a few years. Perhaps we will meet again." With that the young man turned and strolled off into the shadows.

Luke watched the former ensign until he was out of sight. He then went back and read and reread the letter from his wife as he walked out of the park and then through the winding pathways of the city. He thought he was walking the streets randomly as he contemplated his wife's words, so he was surprised to find himself outside of Mara's hotel room.

'This couldn't have been a coincidence on Jadie's part. It couldn't be a general letter to tell me it was okay to get back to the land of the living. Jadie was trying to tell me it was okay for me to date Mara specifically. It had to be,' he thought. Why else here? And now?

He stared at Mara's door as his hand slowly went up to knock, but then stopped a few centimeters from actually striking the door.

'What the hell am I going to say to her," Luke thought panicked. 'Hi, Mara, my dead wife gave me a permission slip allowing me to start a relationship with you, so to you want to start one?' Luke rolled his eyes. That sounded so pathetic.

He started to turn to leave when the door opened. "Luke?" a concerned voice called out.

Luke turned to face Mara, already her hair down and body wrapped in a robe for bed. He felt like an idiot, even if he wanted a relationship, even if he could follow his wife's advice, Mara still had a say in all of this.

"I uh… I'm sorry, I will talk to you tomorrow," Luke stuttered. He turned to leave, but a petite but strong hand grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

"Luke." Mara whispered, her eyes staring at him full of compassion. "Why don't you come inside. I think we have a lot to talk about."

"We do," he answered just as quietly, following Mara's lead into the reception area of the hotel room.

"Luke," Mara started, "I can't stay with you on Yavin."

"Why not?" was his quick retort, and he immediately mentally kicked himself for sounding like his children.

"It would make things more complicated," she seemed to struggle with the words, "I should do what's best for Ben."

A sinking feeling started in his chest and fell into knots in his stomach, first he lost Jadie and now he was loosing another woman he loved, yes, loved, he could admit that now. He loved both women equally. "Mara, I can't tell you how to live your life, but please, don't go."

"What is there to stay for?" it was almost a challenge.

"Mara," he moved just close enough to reach out and gently touch her cheek, "you know I loved my wife."

"Yes," she held her head up as she answered.

"Funny thing about love," he moved slightly closer, embolden by the words of his wife, "is that it never dies."

"I know," Mara whispered and for a moment he though she would flee from him but he had to go through with this, now or never.

"Never dies, Mara," and in a sudden bout of Skywalker recklessness he leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to hers, only receiving a second of hesitation before she returned it with passion, revealing her own emotions.

When they finally pulled apart, there was a mix of horror and joy on her face as she touched her fingers to her lips. "Can we do this?"

"I never stopped loving you, Mara," Luke confessed, "but my love for Jadie took over and I would have happily spent my life with her… but that's not to be, and I've come to be reminded that you still hold a place in my heart, that is, if you are willing to accept it this time."

Now was the moment of truth, whether or not he was going to be crushed again by the woman in front of him.