CHAPTER 26 - GONE

Kiara's POV

We were making our way through now horribly quiet prison corridors, me first, my sword ready, Maggie holding the little baby girl behind me and Carl at our tail, silently crying. I was beginning to worry but when we reached our cell block and nobody was there, my worries turned into a full blown panic and I felt like I was about to lose it, but then we made it out to the yard and my heart filled with relief that most of our group seemed to be alright.

The others were all riled up and getting ready to go back, no doubt to look for us, and didn't seem to realize we were there until the baby started to cry in Maggie's hands. I saw Rick turn around abruptly to find the source of the sound. By that time, we were all crying and I felt my heart break as I saw the realization dawn on Rick. He dropped the axe and started walking towards us. I was standing there with my eyes focused on the ground and all I could muster up was: "Rick, I'm so sorry. We couldn't do anything. I couldn't save her…. I," but I was cut off as he walked past me and Maggie holding the baby and stopped dead in his tracks in front of Carl and started crying like I've never seen any man cry before, not even my dad when mom died back in Boston.

Everybody just stood there, horrified, as Rick slumped to the ground. Glenn was consoling Maggie and I walked back to Carl hugging him tight whispering: "I´m so sorry Carl." The little fighter holstered his gun and hugged me back with a ferocity that equaled his father's grief. Daryl walked up to us and put his arm around my shoulder asking what happened. Then he filled me in on what really happened and how it was all that little rat Andrew's fault.

"Where's T-dog? Carol?" I asked looking around and when I saw Daryl shake his head, a fresh wave of tears flooded my face and I hugged the redneck. I knew how close he became with Carol. For a moment I thought he would push me away and bite my head off for being so sentimental, but to my surprise he hugged me back.

"We should check on him," he muttered nodding towards Rick after a while. He managed to get himself into a crouching position and was staring numbly into the distance. We carefully approached him and Darryl waved his hand in front of Rick's face, but no answer. I put my hand on his shoulder and still nothing. He must have gone into a shock or something. Seeing him like that was breaking my heart, but it seemed like our only option was to give him some space and let him pull himself together. I joined the group that was fussing around the newborn baby girl while Hershel was checking her to see if she was okay.

"The good news is, she looks healthy. You've done a great job, considering everything," Hershel said looking at me and Maggie and we hugged each other. "She needs formula though, and soon or she won't survive."

"Nope, no way, not her," muttered Darryl slinging his crossbow onto his shoulder. "We ain't loosin' nobody else. I'm goin' for a run."

"I'll back you up," Maggie said.

"I'll go too," Glenn joined in.

"Wait guys, hold on," I said, making everybody stop in their tracks. "I found one box of formula and a baby bottle couple days ago, when Rick and I went on a run. That won't last long though and we could certainly use some baby clothes and diapers. We haven't had that much luck in that department."

"Okay, I think I know where we're going," Daryl said. "Beth, help Kiara look over things here, while we're gone and keep an eye on Carl. The kid just lost his mom and his dad ain't doin' so hot."

"You got it," Beth said and started to walk towards Carl as Daryl continued shouting out orders. I really appreciated that, I was in no state to do that at that moment.

I noticed some movement from the corner of my eye and saw Rick grab the axe and run inside the prison. I started after him, but stopped dead in my tracks after the look he shot me.

Daryl ended up taking Maggie on his bike while Glenn stayed behind and with a little help from Oscar and Axel, we started to clean up, piling up Walkers for burning, while Hershel, Beth and Carl were taking care of the baby. I showed them where to find the formula, bottles and a blanked I stashed away for later and joined Glenn who was digging the graves for our people. I couldn't hold it in anymore at that point and let the tears fall freely as we dug in silence. I foolishly thought that days we would have to bury our people were behind us, that we were safe here.

After some time, Axel and Oscar came to join us. Glenn looked at them somewhat reluctantly, then stepped out of the hole asking: "How's the perimeter look?"

"We got the Walkers spread out," Axel answered.

"I'll take care of it," I muttered, dropping the shovel and walked towards the fence with the other set of keys taking my sword out of it s sheath ready to take my frustration and guilt out on those stupid rotting assholes. I turned around and saw Glenn walking towards Hershel while the two remaining inmates continued digging.

I lost track of time, but soon there were no Walkers left for me to pop through the fence so I started walking back to the prison block to check on things.

"How is she?" I asked. "Has she eaten?"

"Yes," Hershel said. "She's got quite the appetite too."

"She's beautiful," I said. "May I?"

"Go for it," Carl asked handing me the little bundle of joy. I took her into my arms and couldn't help but smile. She was a gorgeous little girl. I started to rock lightly and soon she was falling asleep in my arms.

"You got a knack for it," Hershel said appreciatively making me smile in spite of everything.

"You ready to be a big brother?" Hershel asked Carl.

"Now that's a responsibility for a grown ass man, but I know you got what it takes to keep her safe and happy," I joined smiling at the brave boy. "This little girl is lucky to have you as her big brother."

"I'd do anything for her," he said walking towards me stroking her little foot making her wriggle and whimper a little. I gave her over to Beth and looked around asking for Rick.

"He's still in there, in the tombs," Hershel said. "Glenn went to get him, don't worry," he continued before I could start stressing out.

As if on cue, Glenn walked inside the cell block cafeteria with freaked out expression on his face.

"Where's Rick?" I asked about to freak out big time.

"I –uhm went after him and found him, but he didn't want to go back," he said running his hand through his hair in frustration. "He's not thinking clearly, he literally kicked me out and I didn't try to fight him. He's gone mental… he's killed over a dozen Walkers in the corridors. We definitely gotta do something about it, but I can't do it by myself."

"Okay, I'll go with you," I said.

"Maybe it would be wiser to wait till Daryl and Maggie are back, he can help you with Rick," Hershel interfered making me turn at him with incredulous look on my face.

"Are you kidding me?" I started. "How am I supposed to sit here waiting while he's out there running around?! He clearly lost his mind. He's gonna get himself killed!"

"Kiara, please don't go," Carl interrupted. "Stay here, wait till Daryl's back, please?"

I immediately remembered the promise I gave to Lori that I'll look out for Carl and the little girl and calmed down.

"Alright, I'll stay," I said and shot the boy a small smile.

"Okay," Glenn chimed in. "Axel, Oscar, you come with me, we'll wait at the gate for them."

I have no idea how much time has passed, but Maggie and Daryl were back just in time to feed the baby once again. She really was gonna go through that formula in a record time it seemed. This time Daryl took the "lil' asskicker", as he aptly named her, and fed her another bottle. It was a precious. I somehow knew he'd have a soft spot for babies.

With Daryl back, and Glenn leading the way towards the spot he saw Rick last, we were determined to bring him back no matter what. Maggie agreed to go with us as well. I was getting really worried when we couldn't find him, but then it occurred to me that he would probably try to find the place where Lori died. We might as well go check it out since we needed to bury her as well.

My hunch proved to be right, but to everyone's horror, there wasn't much left of Lori to fill the grave. I told Daryl, Glenn and Maggie to wait there and proceeded further into the boiler room where I found Rick sitting on the ground next to a disgusting looking Walker who… oh my god… I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw the size of its belly and the terrible realization dawned on me.

I shook it off since Rick looked up at me, finally at least a little bit aware of his surroundings.

"Hey Rick?" I crouched down beside him and put my hand on his shoulder, cautiously shaking him a little waiting for his reaction, keeping in mind his reaction to Glenn's touch earlier. He just looked at me and continued staring at his hands stained in Walker blood. Since he didn't react violently this time, I tried to push my luck and started to prop my arm around him tighter trying him to pull him up to his feet, shaking him again, this time a little stronger.

He flinched and stood up abruptly shoving me backwards against the wall looking at me and breathing heavily.

"Rick, baby, it's me," I said in a cooing tone, trying to calm him down. He seemed to realize it was me and let go of me, walking few steps away from me. He turned his back on me. "Can we go back now? Your son just lost his mother. He needs you there."

"Leave me alone," he said in a voice I haven't heard from him before. It sounded so strange.

"I hate to do this to you love, but you leave me no choice," I said quietly sneaking closer behind him while pulling out my gun, turning it around and hitting him hard on the head with the handle. "I'm not leaving you here to get yourself killed," I muttered as he slumped towards the ground, unconscious.

"Guys?" I hollered and they came running. "Come on, let's get him to the cell block, so Hershel can check on him."

"Damn girl," Daryl muttered upon seeing Rick sprawled on the ground, trying to lighten the mood a little. "I wouldn't wanna be on the receiving end."

"Oh shut up," I said smirking at him. "It was the only way to get him back."

"You won't catch ma arguin'," he smirked back at me grabbing Rick under his arms, while Glenn took his feet. We made it back to the cell block, safe and sound, and guys put him on the cot in our cell. I took his handcuffs and cuffed his arm to the metal construction. Daryl looked at me pensively, but didn't say a word.

"Do me a favor," I started. "Keep Carl away from this cell, at least tonight? Tell him, he's okay and that he's sleeping. I don't want him to see Rick in such a state."

Daryl just nodded and left me alone. I just slumped to the ground and propped myself against the opposite wall watching the troubled expression on my love's face that didn't leave him even in his sleep.

"Come back Rick. We need you. I need you," I whispered silently into the night letting the tears of fear, quilt and heartbreak fall freely again until the darkness of utter exhaustion took me.

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