May 26th, 2009

Blinking her eyes, she noticed that it was bright out. Quite bright. Looking around at the clock, she stared at the LCD display. 5:35am.
This had been the 6th time all week. Waking up at ridiculously early hours.

Giving a light groan, she rolled out of bed and sat up, ruffling her messy hair.

Anime north had come and gone. It was a rather tame convention, compared to all her other ones. But that was good.

Shane had come with her this time and it was ….
She grinned at the thought and shook her head, rubbing her face so that the smile disappeared.

Weird.

She was on new pills. Hasame looked at the tiny bottle and poured out two of them, tossing them down with water. They didn't do anything different than the olanzapene. The seroquel actually was recommended for her as a teenager, so that she wouldn't have weight gain as a side effect. However, it would make her incredibly drowsy.

Hasame leaned on the countertop, caressing her long bangs. They were a light aqua blue now, being that she had to dye her hair for her cosplay as Konan for Anime North.

Twirling the strands through her fingers, she noticed her skin pigment and looked at it with a frown. Her skin was slightly yellow.
She always had a warm skin tone, a slightly pinkish pigment. Now it looked yellowy.
Strange.

The girl stretched and walked over to the shower. Today was her second day of school. Yesterday, she had attended the education building with must disdain. Having dropped her French class and her auto mechanics class, she now only had to go to two classes per day. The other spare ones were just empty time that she had to be creative to pass the time. It was a very boring school day. And she felt like she was just wasting her day away.

Turning on the taps with her left hand, she heard the water begin to stream down loudly, heat radiating off the liquid. Undressing awkwardly, she looked at her right hand with a sigh. Yesterday she had grabbed a studio lamp while adjusting it for photography, and had burned her hand. Looking at the miniscule spots, she twitched her lip. It wasn't so much burnt as it was melted. Her skin has five clear indents where the heat had sunk in and cavities made themselves in her flesh. It burned for a while after the incident, but now it would only sting occasionally. However, hot water would send it burning again. Naturally.

Depressed. She felt that. Only her second day, and she dreaded going to school. Merely because there was nothing there for her anymore.

Friends were drifting away. Because she hadn't been there for a long while. They had moved from their regular lunch spot to some place else that she didn't know about.
But that didn't bother her.

When she came to school that morning, they only waved and turned back to the people they were chatting to. As if she had never left.

But that didn't bother her either.

No, nothing really bothered her. It just….depressed her.
And she didn't like to use that word lightly.

Hasame stepped out from the steam, grabbing the towel and rubbing her hair furiously. She had no idea why she just took a shower so early. She had just had one last night. Glancing up at drying her arms, she spotted the mirror. And she stared.

Her eyes bored into her own, glaring at her in distaste. In disgust. Hate?
Quickly, she looked away and grimaced, wrapping the towel around herself.

She couldn't even do that….
Hasame grabbed her clothes and started changing into them, slipping on the underwear.

She couldn't even look in a mirror….
Buttoning up her shirt, she grabbed a brush and combed it quickly through the shaggy wet hair.

Not even for ten seconds…

Heaving a sigh, she gave her hair one last rub with the towel and hung it up behind the door, putting the mat back on the edge of the bathtub and left the haze from the shower.

She couldn't stand being in her own presence…

Her brother and mother had begun to stir.

School would begin in an hour.

She packed her bag.

11:48am

Though the wind caused the air to be a bit chilly, Hasame lay very still on the grass slope, eyes closed; allowing the sun that normally was her enemy to heat up her frozen skin. Goosebumps erupted gently over her exposed hands and neck.

She had eaten a cereal bar and a few cucumbers for her lunch; in other words, all that she had packed because her mother had told her to at least 'bring something'. So she did.
Her mouth was parched, and she regretted not bringing at least a dollar to buy a drink.

"Ah well…" She muttered to herself, "It's not like I had any money to bring anyway…"
Leaning her head to the side, she cracked open an eye to see the grass. There were three students sitting just a little ways away, watching her. Blinking, she opened her eyes wider. They were staring at her. Sitting up abruptly, she curled up in a ball, pretending not to notice them. Having her headphones in her ears, she couldn't hear them, but she peeked at them through her hairs. Indeed, they were looking at her. As quick as possible, she scrambled to her feet, slipping on the grass and grabbed her bag, marching up the hill and away. For some reason, it ruffled her feathers that people stared at her sleeping. Or at least trying to.

Glancing back, she saw two of them turn and watch her walk up to the entrance of the school, reaching over and laughing to each other. She had no idea what they could possibly be saying, but it wasn't very kind.

Students swarmed. She got lost in the many bodies, pushing and shoving their way to get to class. Looking at her feet, she felt her hair brush against her face and cheeks, tickling the back of her neck as she made her way to….she didn't know where. She had no class, so where could she go….
Hasame didn't care. She just kept on walking.

Walking and walking. Up the stairs. Walking. Being bustled and bumped into, swore at for taking too long. But she didn't hear them. It was static.
So quiet….
It had been a while, but her head was quiet…
No thoughts.

No troubles…
Besides one tiny little one.
It wasn't so much a trouble as it was…a notion.
An idea.
A little feeling.

Something.