Chapter 26. Hardships unnumbered
Two weeks exactly after they buried Karen, they buried Robert. There had been an autopsy, and it was found that he had been most likely knocked unconscious when the car had tumbled down the embankment. From the skid marks they could tell he had fought to keep the car from going off the road. Matt Banning, the senior partner of the firm had made the positive identification of the remains. He had not wanted Sarah to have to face that, he had also Okayed the autopsy. Numbed by the pain, Sarah went through the motions of making the arrangements, thankful that Matt and his wife were so supportive. Those first hours were hell, and the Banning's gave more than support, they gave understanding and compassion.
--
Jareth knew the instant that Robert was gone. The goblins had begun a lamentation, and were howling as if their hearts were broken. Even he felt a pang of pain, and sympathy. He envied the goblins their freedom in grieving. Knowing the young woman and boy were vulnerable he changed form, to go and watch over them protectively.
--
It was nearly two in the morning when everyone was finally gone and Toby and Sarah were alone in the big old and now seemingly empty Victorian. Sarah curled up on top of Toby's comforter, she held her little brother close as he wept. Her own tears she now shed. The boy fell into troubled sleep; once he had she found she could not keep her eyes open.
--
Jareth found Sarah hiding in her dreams, literally. He had no trouble in entering the room occupied by the boy, and even less trouble in deepening the sleep of the brother and sister. After using Fae magic to sooth the boy's restlessness, Jareth allowed him to be. It was Sarah who worried the Goblin King just now. He moved seamlessly into her dreams, now as familiar a place to him as his throne room. Disturbingly he found her hold up in an oubliette, sitting with her back against one of the wall and her head braced on upraised knees. There was little light in the darkened spherical room, what light there was came from a single candle burning on what looked like a single board table. Out side the cell Jareth could hear the sounds of voices, all making demands on Sarah. She ignored them, pulling tighter into her self.
After watching her for a short time, the Goblin King sighed deeply before addressing her. This was the first time he'd taken steps to make contact, and felt it was warranted. "You can not hide in here forever, Sarah. You have to face the world sometime," he warned.
Sarah looked up from her knees, only now aware she was no longer alone. "Go away," she growled. "I don't want to play."
Taking a seat on the table beside the flickering candle, Jareth rested his arms on his own knees as he leaned forward to observe her. "I'm not all fun and games Sarah." She looked at him with red eyes, and tears that were being held back. "No King can be; there's responsibility to running a Kingdom, even this one."
"Responsibility," she muttered darkly, putting her chin back on her knees.
"Everyone has them, Sarah." Jareth assured her.
"I didn't ask for the ones I've got!" she snapped with more anger than even she had realized was going to come out. "Why does everyone think I can handle this?" she stood up suddenly, stomped on foot and turned her back on the King. "I don't want this…"
Jareth moved to stand behind her, his hands coming to rest on her shoulders. "I know you don't, precious thing…" he murmured in her ear softly. "No one asks for this kind of responsibility to be thrust so heavily upon their shoulders…." He sensed her stir under his finger tips, he half expected her to bolt.
Sarah turned, looked up at the face that had haunted her dreams, even before she's spent thirteen hours in the goblin Kingdom. "It's not fair," she whimpered as her arms move to hold on to him for support.
Jareth's hands moved off her shoulders, as the girl buried her face in his shoulder and wept bitterly. Cradling her, he said the only thing he could think of at the moment. "I believe in you," his voice shuddered as he spoke. "I believe in you…" The Goblin King was aware of the embrace tightening on her part. "I'm here for you, Sarah…"
"Sometimes…" she wept.
--
The morning after the accident Sarah phoned into the office and told them she would not be in. Her next call was to Toby's school, informing them she was keeping him home for the rest of the week. Enid came over to make sure everything was running smoothly for Sarah, and to ward off the women who had been contacted previously to come for interviews for the housekeeper's position. They managed to contact three of the four, but the fourth showed up and was given a thanks but no thanks and sent on her way. Which Sarah decided was just as well, she didn't like the way the woman looked down her nose at Toby.
Della stopped by after her work day to check up on Sarah, Daisy had called twice during the school day and offered to bring Toby's schoolwork home and go over his assignments with him. That offer Sarah jumped at. Carmine came to the house and didn't stay long; he seemed even more distracted than Sarah.
The funeral home called and requested that Sarah send over the suit she wanted her father to be buried in. That meant going into the bedroom of the now deceased parents, something Sarah was dreading and putting off. Della offered to take care of it, but Sarah told her no. Moving with trepidation, not looking forward to the task ahead of her, Sarah mounted the staircase and moved toward the master bedroom suite of the house. As if suddenly aware of just how big the house really was, Sarah took in the little features she'd taken for granted. The moldings, the arches and the way the house seemed to go on forever. Standing on the landing and looking up toward the upper floors, she was struck by how much it resembled another set of stairs.
The master bedroom suite had been Karen's pride and joy. She had spent months redoing it once she and Robert were married. She had even kept all of her sketches and notes in a file, she was so proud of the way it turned out. It had been handsome when Linda had furnished the room, for if nothing else one had to admit that Linda had good taste. However it was exquisite when Karen finished. While Linda had lived in the house, the room had been tastefully done, but never finished never polished like a diamond. Karen took what Linda had started and finished it. The room was done in tones of cool greens and gold, and white. The finishing were all in the French Provincial style that had been so popular when Linda had starting decorating the house before she lost interest and took up stage acting. Karen had picked up where Linda had left off, and Sarah realized that meant more than with just the house and decorating. She had picked up the pieces when Linda had run off to the floodlights and beckoning of fame. Karen had pulled everything back together, and hand turned them into a family again.
The closets, the dressers, and the armoire were all meticulous. Karen had insisted on order, Sarah recalled as she opened the door to her father's wardrobe. His suits were hung with care, as were his shirts and his accessories. On the floor his shoes were housed in a nest little arrangement of dress to sports shoes. The closet was far more orderly now than it had been when Linda lived here. Sarah recalled hiding from her parents in her father's closet and knowing that even if they looked in they'd never see her. That could not be said today, for Karen had come in and created order out of the chaos that Linda had left in her wake.
Robert had not made a list like Karen had, so there was no way to know what his wishes would have been. He rarely discussed death and dying, and never once that Sarah could recall had he spoken of what he wanted his funeral to be like. Here, looking at all his suits and shirts and ties, Sarah wished he'd spoken to her, or left instructions like Karen's little red notebook. She took a long time picking out the one suit that her father had always favored. It was a soft brownish gray color, and he always seemed so handsome in it. Her hands picked out the soft cream colored linen shirt and brown tie with little flecks of pink thread running here and there. It was the way he would complement Karen's choice of signature color. She rummaged through his jewelry and found the cufflinks that Karen had bought him for his birthday, the ones that had his birthstone in them. She found the matching tie clip that had been a gift from Toby for that same birthday. Bit by bit she put together the last suit her father would ever be seen in. Sarah wanted his final appearance to be memorable.
--
Della sat across from Daisy; each had a cup of tea in front of them. Each wore the same worried look.
--
Mr. Banning had talked Sarah into having three days of mourning before the burial, Wednesday through Friday, with a quiet and tasteful funeral on Saturday. He explained to her that although Robert was her father, and she felt this was private, he was also the lawyer of many a client who felt he belonged to them.
Sarah had given in, and allowed him to make the arrangements for the wake for her father. He had made good suggestions and even Jasper from the funeral home had approved. Sarah felt like a lost child, dwarfed by the responsibility and the pain.
Toby sulked in his room, refusing to leave it unless he was called to the kitchen to eat something. When it came close to time to go to the funeral home on Wednesday afternoon, Sarah found him sitting on his bed, not yet dressed.
"I thought we agreed to being helpful to each other," Sarah sighed as she leaned on his door. "You're not dressed."
"I'm not going," he muttered with a voice full of rage.
"Why?" Sarah asked bluntly.
Blue eyes full of storms glared at her. "Because I don't want to," he grumbled.
"Not going won't bring him back," Sarah warned. "This is the last time you'll get to see him."
"It's not him," whimpered the boy. "That thing in that box is not Daddy!"
Nodding Sarah came into the room and took a seat on the end of her brother's bed. "No, it's not… it's only the shell he lived in."
Toby shot up and flung his arms around his sister. "Don't ever leave me," he begged. "Please."
Holding him close and understanding his misery, his sister soothed him. "Daddy didn't want to leave, neither did Karen….they had no choice."
"I don't care," he wailed. "I don't want you to leave me."
"Never," she promised, holding him closer. "I didn't give up my dreams to just up and leave you…" Toby pulled back, and looked at her strangely, her words striking a familiar tone. Needing to change the subject, Sarah ruffled his blond hair and told him to get dressed and she would be waiting down stairs.
Toby watched her exit his room and muttered, "You gave up your dreams?" He scratched his head, knowing that phrase but not placing it.
--
Banning had insisted on the largest of the three large chapel rooms in the funeral home. He'd told Sarah not to worry over the costs, the firm would cover it. Margie had made a montage board of Robert's life, and it was sitting along one wall. On the other wall were flower arrangements from people whose lives Robert had touched. Sarah had no idea of how many folks he actually knew. She and Toby arrived half an hour before the time the chapel was supposed to be open to the public. She wanted a few moments to prepare herself and the boy.
Toby looked at the room with a grim expression, but took a seat on the sofa quietly. Sarah moved toward the open casket and peered down at her father's remains. Jasper the younger was at her elbow.
"I hope you approve." He said.
"I do," she looked at him. "It's just hard so…soon." She looked back at her father. "He looks peaceful." She looked at the room. "Thank you for everything you've done."
Jasper held her elbow a moment longer than he really needed to. "Your father was a good man…" He released her elbow and stepped back. "If you need us, we'll be in the office."
--
Alone now with only Toby in the room, Sarah sat down and placed an arm over the back of the couch. "You know what's going to happen," she said calmly. "People are going to be telling us how wonderful Daddy was, and how much they miss him. Don't worry if you don't remember everyone." Nestling into his sister, the boy groaned. Sarah hugged him close. "WE can get through this, we have each other."
Two hours later Sarah would have liked to retract her words as Kathy came sailing in as if she were the widow. Sarah took one look at her, and her nasty little brood in tow, and groaned aloud. Enid had been standing with Sarah, and turned to see what was causing her to graon. Moving toward the open casket, Sarah placed herself between the woman in black and her late father. "Hold it," she said in a low and dangerous tone. "You can stay as long as you don't cause trouble, and you keep those brats away from Toby."
Kathy glared at her and lifted the veil from her hat. "Who do you think you are?"
"I'm Sarah Williams, and this was my father." The tone got a lot darker. Glancing toward Mac, Sarah repeated. "Don't cause me or Toby any trouble; this will be your only warning, Mrs. Jameson."
Kathy dramatically knelt down on the kneeler. However Sarah had already moved to the sofa and took a seat beside her brother. When one of Kathy's boys went to sit beside Toby, Sarah snapped her fingers and pointed to the seats behind them. The boys rolled their eyes at Sarah and made rude faces, but went. The girl on the other hand stood tapping her toe until Kathy directed her as well to the seats behind. Kathy then took a seat beside Toby and tried to put her arm around him, but he shied away from even her slightest touch.
--
Randal looked at the funeral home with disdain, "Margo, do you really have to go in there?"
"Of course I do," she pulled her gloves over her fingers smoothing the fabric down. "I have to make at least an appearance; after all I'm one of Sarah's dearest friends." Her voice mocked her friend's pain. Her icy eyes looked at him with a gleam of triumph. "Besides," she cooed. "I want to see the fruit of my labor… and poor dear sweet Sarah, in pain and torment."
Randal shrugged. "Suit your self," he muttered. "I'll be waiting out here; I don't dare show my face in there."
--
Enid saw Margo come in, and felt a chill fill the air. She put it down to the fact that Margo had held the door open for a moment longer than she'd really needed to. Several people sitting in the back of the chapel began to murmur as Margo moved forward with arms out stretched and a look of condolence plastered on her face.
"Sarah, my poor darling," the fitness guru drawled.
Kathy's mouth dropped open, rather unattractively, and she stood up hoping to be introduced to the famous fitness personality. She moved closer to Sarah and cleared her throat, and looked at Sarah expectantly.
At the moment that Kathy had cleared her throat, Sarah was actively avoiding Margo's efforts to embrace her. "Margo, how …kind of you to come," Sarah stumbled over the greeting and was suddenly only too happy to have Kathy there. "I'd like you to meet Mrs. Jameson, my father's sister in law."
"I had no idea Sarah knew anyone so famous," gushed Kathy like a star struck school girl.
Margo gave the woman a simpering smile, "OH darling Sarah and I shared digs for a time… The good old days," bragged the woman with an icy edge. She could sense the discourse in the woman just introduced to her and felt she would be useful down the road; "How wonderful of you to be here to support our dear Sarah."
Kathy stiffened slightly, "I'm here for Toby, my sister's son." She looked venomously at Sarah. "Sarah and I are no relation."
Seeing a means of making trouble, Margo gave Kathy a sympathetic gaze. "We should talk…" she led the woman in black back to the sofa and took a seat beside her. "He's such a delightful child…"
Enid inched over to Sarah, still standing by the coffin, "I think that one's going to be trouble," she inclined her head toward the pair on the sofa.
"Which one?" muttered Sarah looking for Toby to make sure the Jameson boys weren't giving him a hard time? She spotted Toby with Thomas and Tommy and relaxed a little.
--
When the chapel closed for the evening, Sarah was the last one to leave the room. She placed her hand on her father's sleeve, and vowed determinedly that she's get through the rest of this ordeal. Daisy and Della stood in the lobby of the funeral home; they wanted to be sure Sarah got to her car without trouble. They also wanted to alert Sarah that Kathy had gone into the office and was discussing something heatedly with young Mr. Jasper.
"What do you mean she's in with Mr. Jasper?" Sarah asked disbelieving that Kathy would be so bold and brazen.
Daisy pointed to the open door, and sure enough there sat Kathy with Mac behind her making demands of the funeral director. Sarah told her brother to stay with Daisy and Della while she straightened his aunt's clock. The boy's reaction was to beg to watch.
Entering the room unannounced and with determination, Sarah addressed her stepmother's sister with only a veil of civility. "Mrs. Jameson is there a problem?"
"With you in charge of course there is," Kathy said snidely. "I'm simply making sure things are done tastefully. You should be grateful for my help!"
"I see," Sarah crossed her arms as she stepped closer. "Are you paying for the arrangements?"
"I beg your pardon?" Kathy gasped.
"I said, are you paying for this funeral?" she watched the woman shake her head in the negative. "Then I suggest you keep your helpful hints to your self." She looked at young Mr. Jasper with sympathy, "You don't have to listen to anything she has to say on this matter…If she wishes to make arrangements for herself, or any other member of her immediate family, then and only then are you under any obligation to hear her out." Turning her back on the unwanted in-laws, she retorted. "Good night."
Kathy followed her out of the office, eyes blazing and looking for a fight. "How dare you speak to me like that, you ungrateful little snippet!" She was gearing up, ready to blast away at Sarah but the cries of her boys' voices outside drew her attention.
Rushing out the door Sarah saw Toby lying on the ground and the two boys fending off a large barn owl that seemed determined to do the two Jameson boys some damage. Sarah glared at Kathy, "What did your brats do to Toby?"
"I'm sure they didn't do anything to him, most likely they are defending him from that rabid bird!" Kathy shouted back as she rushed to rescue her boys.
Closing ranks, Sarah, Daisy and Della all moved to Toby who sat up and glared at his cousins. "They ambushed me," he whispered to Sarah who was making sure he was not harmed.
Sarah turned to look at Kathy who had managed to scare off the bird. "If your sons ever touch him again," she warned darkly. "They'll have me to answer to…. And I will be far worse than that barn owl… those brats of yours must have threatened its nest… they don't attack for no reason."
Smoothing the hair on her eldest son's head, she sneered at the bereft girl. "Good night Sarah… we'll see you tomorrow…"
Daisy helped Toby to his feet, "Where did the owl come from?" She asked quietly. Toby pointed to the park and the trees that were barren.
--
It was after eleven when Sarah finally sought the comfort of her bed. She had trouble getting Toby to settle down. He was still thrilled with the fact that the huge barn owl had appeared out of nowhere and had more or less saved him from his wicked cousins. When his bluster had finally blown out, and he surrendered to sleep Sarah left him. She changed out of her mourning clothes, and into her linen gown. Wrapping herself in a warm woolen robe, she opened her window and searched the night sky. As if cued, the shadow flew past the moon. Moments later the large barn owl landed on the branch of the tree by her window. Sarah looked at it, tried to think of something clever to say, but came up with nothing.
"If you are who I think you are," she said at last. "Thank you… for watching out for Toby tonight…." She paused before adding. "But remember, I won him back… and he's mine, not yours, mine." Closing the window she drew the drapes.
The owl sat on the branch for a long time, contented.
--
By Friday afternoon Sarah was certain she was going to spend time in Jail for having murdered Toby's aunt and his cousins or for having castrating Mac. He used every trick in the book to press up against her. It was bad enough when he put his arms around her pretending to be consoling, it was worse when he looked for ways to ambush her and make lewd suggestions of how he'd like to comfort her. Sarah was also pretty sure he'd a drinking problem and was keeping a flask on his person. She was sure she'd smelled whiskey on his breath. Twice Enid had rescued her from Mac, and twice Thomas had rescued Toby from Kathy and the boys. Sarah was on the verge of nervous collapse.
Kathy had commandeered the sofa for her family on the second and third days of the wake. Having arrived before Sarah, and having taken firm control of the seating. Sarah let her have the sofa, feeling it was little enough to give up in the interests of peaceful co existence in the limited space of the funeral home. Kathy had also more or less made herself a central figure in this funeral, as if she were the widow of the deceased. Daisy and Della spent what time they could with Sarah, showing up after work to sit with the girl and keep her calm. Often they were sitting with both her and Toby on a small settee off to the side of the main seating in the large chapel room.
It was getting late on Friday evening, and most of the mourners here were just the people Robert worked with. Sarah told herself she only had to get through the rest of this evening, and the funeral and most likely Kathy would be out of their lives forever. She could do that, she thought. She was talking quietly with Matt Banning on the choices of pall bearers when a murmur in the back of the room drew Sarah's attention. A quiet figure dressed appropriately in dark garments and no flamboyance entered. The woman walked quietly to the front of the chapel and knelt down before Sarah recognized her. It was Linda, her mother. Seeing Linda so quiet, and so respectful startled the girl whose only reaction was to stare.
Kathy glared at the solemn figure and stalked up to the casket, loudly demanding. "What are you doing here? You're not wanted here!"
Gracefully Linda rose from the kneeler, turned to look at the woman with a look of complete disinterest. "Still the shrinking violet, I see," she said quietly, keeping her calm demeanor.
Before Kathy could cause a real scene Sarah moved forward. "Mother?"
Linda, hearing her daughter's voice turned to the sound of the troubled voice. "Sarah, I'm so sorry." She leaned forward to kiss her daughter's cheek. "Your father was a wonderful man…"
"Oh really," groused Kathy grabbing hold of Linda's arm. "I want you out of here now!"
Placing a hand over Kathy's clawing hand, Sarah said in a dangerous tone. "She has every right to be here." The sentence held an unspoken warning. Sarah looked then at Linda. "Come and meet Toby."
The boy was flanked by Daisy and Della on the settee, but he was looking at Linda as if he knew her. He stood up as she moved closer, and to his aunt's chagrin, not only accepted the embrace that was offered, but returned it.
Sarah looked at Kathy, "She's my mother, and she was once his wife." She warned again. "She has more right to be here than you do."
Linda offered to sit on one of the chairs behind the settee, but Toby insisted on her sitting beside him. Daisy and Della, like sentinels took up seats behind the three Williams, and the Jameson family sat on the main sofa. Kathy shot hot looks of hate Linda's way that were ignored. When the director announced it was time to close the chapel, the Jameson family shot out of the funeral home like a bullet.
Linda walked out of the chapel with Toby and Sarah, and was saying her quiet goodnight, assuring her daughter that she'd be there in the morning. Sarah on impulse asked; "Where are you staying, Mom?"
Linda sighed quietly. "I'll be at the Toluene House; it's still the nicest place in this town."
"You could stay with us," Sarah offered looking toward her brother for confirmation.
Taking her daughter's face into one hand, the actress shook her head. "No, dear… it wouldn't be seemly… this is still a small town and you and the boy have to live here. Better I stay in the hotel," she looked at the closed doors of the chapel. "I'll be here come morning."
Sarah whispered, "Please."
"No," Linda said firmly; "Not tonight…if I stay on after tomorrow, then perhaps…but only then."
Enid Dalton who was still standing in the lobby came over to Sarah. "She's right," the woman consoled. She looked at Linda and held out her hand to her. "Enid Dalton, I was Karen's friend."
"Yes, Robert mentioned you and your husband a few times," Linda shook hands with the woman. "Thank you for being friends with my daughter as well…."
Enid nodded, and motioned her husband to get the car. "We'll see you in the morning, Sarah."
Before taking her leave, Linda promised she'd be there in the morning. Sarah prayed it was not just another empty promise.