A/N. I went to a wedding today. It was absolutely beautiful and now I am feeling depressed. Weddings do that to me. Anyway. I need to write a new outline for this story. It's Danny's fault. But that's okay. I'm thinking 35-40 chapters. We'll find out! I don't own anything.

"That's the backyard," Danny said as he pointed out the window. "It's awesome out there when it's not pouring." He stared out at the rain that was falling in heavy sheets from a gray sky. "But I guess we're stuck in here. At least for today. The fresh air does us all good."

Logan nodded in agreement, already feeling trapped. "It's a nice place," he said vaguely, not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings.

Danny laughed and shook his head. "If you really felt that way, I would be even more worried about you than I am already. Be honest. It sucks, doesn't it?"

But Logan was distracted by what Danny had said before his question. "You're worried about me?" he asked, feeling his face turn bright red.

Oblivious to Logan's embarrassment, Danny nodded. "Most of us here really care about each other," he told Logan. "Whether we know everyone well or not. That's because we know what we're going through and let's face it, no one deserves this kind of life. It destroys us and our friends and family."

That made Logan flinch. "You're right," he said softly. "It's a mess, isn't it?"

"A bit of an understatement, but yeah." Danny sighed and turned away from the window, gesturing Logan to follow him. "I already told you that I've been here for almost two months, but what I didn't tell you that it's my fifth time here."

Logan stopped in his tracks and stared. "What?" he gasped. "Your fifth time?"

Danny nodded, looking somber. "I got into drugs when I was thirteen," he said regretfully. "Just your typical case of a middle schooler trying to be cool." He saw Logan looking a little surprised and was quick to set him straight. "Oh, it's way more typical than you would ever think. I bet half the kids you go to school with have at least tried drugs."

"I remember for D.A.R.E., my best friend's-" Logan cut himself off and tried again. "I mean, well, I don't know if he wants to be my friend anymore after what happened." He looked away from the sympathetic look Danny was giving him and tried again. "Anyway, his dad is a police officer and he came to talk to us about drugs and drinking and smoking." He shook his head. "I just remember thinking how stupid people would have to be to try any of that. Now look at me."

"I would tell you not to feel too bad since you're not the only one but. . ." Danny shrugged. "We're all really stupid here. Especially the ones like me. The ones that get out of here and then fall back into the same old trap time and time again."

"But you seem so strong right now," Logan protested. "How can you keep going back like that?

"Logan," Danny sighed. "I don't want to discourage you, but once you get out of here and go home, that doesn't mean this whole thing is over. It will never be over. Once you're in this fight, you're in it for life. How long was it before you got caught?"

They had started walking again and finally returned to their room. Tired, Logan sat down on his bed and thought. "Months," he said regretfully. "I started sometime in June and now it's November."

"You're fortunate," Danny said softly. "That you got caught that soon. I was in my sophomore year of high school before my girlfriend finally found the heroin I had in my room."

"Heroin?" Logan repeated, feeling sick already.

"Yeah." Danny looked weary as he nodded. "I had only been hooked on that particular drug for a month or so, but I had used just about everything else up until then. They say that there's no such thing as your last shot of heroin. I'd love to prove them wrong but," he ran a hand through his hair. "It's harder than I ever would have thought." He looked up at Logan. "What did you get into?"

Logan flinched, but Danny had already been so open and honest that there was no way he could keep any of his secrets. "It started out with prescribed sleeping pills," he said, watching closely for the older boy's reaction. "Then because I could never seem to wake up in the mornings, I started taking my friend- I mean, you know-" Danny nodded. "I started using his Ritalin to wake myself up. Then it became something I needed just because. Not to wake up or go to sleep. Just because. I started using antidepressants and ketamine and "roofies" and then "ecstasy". Then my. . . um, friends, caught me and I overdosed."

Danny couldn't hide his reaction. "Wow," he said softly. "So that's how you got caught. I've thought about it before. It would have put an end to my problems a long time ago. But it also would have created problems for everyone I was leaving behind so I never did."

"I always told myself the same thing," Logan told him quietly. "I wasn't thinking straight when it happened. I basically did it right in front of them and they. . . they had to watch me practically die. The three people who gave me reasons to live and I tried to end it all anyway." Logan shook his head and wiped away the tears that had come to his eyes. "I don't see how they could ever forgive me."

"That's what I've always thought about my best friend Jason and my girlfriend Carrie. I don't have the greatest relationship with any of my family members, Logan. That's part of the reason I started using and kept going. It was an escape, or so I thought. But then I saw how much it hurt them once they found out. And even though I had given them every single reason in the world to hate me, they took me right back. They always have." Danny looked down at his arms where Logan could just see the faded needle scars of whatever drugs Danny had been abusing at that time. "What are your friends like, Logan?"

"My friends," Logan said softly. "Are everything to me. There's Kendall and James and Carlos. We met when we were five and have been best friends ever since. They were with me through everything, when my mom died when I was six, and when my dad died when I was fourteen. Kendall's mom adopted me when that happened. It was the best day of my life because after my mom died, my dad got really distant and. . . our relationship just didn't really exist."

"Anyway, Kendall is the oldest. He's pretty much the big brother that every kid wants. He's always been the strongest person I've ever known. His parents divorced when he was eleven and even though he still has a great relationship with his own dad, he pretty much became the man of the house. As for us, he's always known just how to protect us. At times, he was more than my best friend or even my brother. He was the father figure that I was missing in my life. You know how kids are supposed to look at their moms and dads and want to be like them when they grow up? It was like that for Kendall more than it was for my actual dad."

"James is our dreamer. He always has his head in the clouds, looking forward rather than backwards or even in the present." Logan couldn't help but smile. "He's really really talented. He has an amazing voice and he's a great dancer. We were Big Time Rush before this all happened. Before I ruined everything. A lot of people may look at him and say that he's self-absorbed and stuff like that. And I guess it's true to some extent. But when it really matters, you couldn't find a more loyal friend. He's too loyal. Even now. . . after I destroyed everything."

"Then there's Carlos," Logan felt his heart begin to ache. "He's the youngest, just after me. He was always the happiest person ever. He could always make anyone feel at least a little bit better no matter how bad they were feeling about something. It was like he made it his life's goal to make everyone as happy as possible because he thought that everyone deserved happiness."

"They sound like great friends," Danny told him when he had finished.

Logan nodded, tears blurring his vision of Danny. "But I don't know if they are my friends anymore. I mean, I guess James, But I don't even deserve them as friends. By the time I left this morning, Kendall had started to act like he was scared of me. Really hurt. I haven't seen him that hurt since. . . since his dad left. And Carlos-" Logan's voice broke. "He wouldn't even look at me."

Danny was quiet for a long time after Logan had finished speaking. Then he laid his hand on the smaller boy's shoulder and spoke very quietly. "Logan, you screwed up a lot. But so have all of us here. And there's not a single person here that doesn't have someone to come visit them. Everyone here has someone who cares for and loves them and just wants them to be healthy and safe. I've never met your friends but I can already tell that they're not going to give up on you."

"But I gave up on them!" Logan exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air. "I tried to kill myself. After all the support and love they gave me over the years, that was like a slap to their faces. I was saying that I didn't want to be a part of their lives anymore. I was picking the drugs over them."

"Same with everyone else here," Danny said calmly. "I mean, not everyone has attempted suicide but they were still picking their drugs over their friends and family."

"I don't deserve them," Logan whispered, feeling somehow soothed by Danny's quieter voice.

"None of us do," Danny said in a distant voice like he was deep in thought. "We threw everything away for something that would only make our lives worse. We're pretty much worthless, Logan. But let me ask you a question. If what happened to you had actually happened to Kendall or James or Carlos, what would you do?"

Logan was quiet as he studied Danny, wondering how in the world he had managed to be assigned to someone like him. His life was beyond tragic, years of drug abuse starting at such a young age with no real end in sight. He should be in college right now. Just like Logan should be preparing for college and then med school. But the trap they had fallen into had put their lives on hold.

"Logan?"

Jumping slightly, Logan refocused back on Danny. "If one of my friends was in my position, it would be the most painful experience of my life," he said softly. "I would feel hurt and lost and angry and confused. But I would never stop being his best friend. I would always be there for him no matter what happened."

Danny smiled and nodded. "There you go. I know it may not seem like a lot, but there's some hope for you to hang onto, Logan. Sometimes, hope is the only thing we have left."

For the second time that night, Logan had started to cry. But this time was different. He wasn't crying for what he had lost. He was crying for what Danny had given him. The hope. It truly was all that he had left to hold onto.

One week later.

One more week. Logan picked at his food with little interest. He was distracted as he almost always was by the date on the calendar. He had been at the rehab center for a full week now. In just one more week, he could have visitors. Seven days. One hundred sixty-eight hours. Give or take a few.

"Dude,"

He looked up at the sound of Danny's voice and tried to smile. "Hi,"

"Don't hi me," Danny rolled his eyes. "You need to eat, okay?" He showed Logan his own clean tray of food. "Keep up your strength so you can get better and get out of here."

Logan glanced down at his own tray of food. "I guess I'm just not that hungry," he said, picking at the hash browns they had been given for breakfast. It made an interesting image when he mixed it with his sausage. "I feel a little sick actually. In a week-"

"In a week, your friends might come to visit you and find nothing but a human skeleton." Danny shook his head. "Eat. Take it easy if you feel sick but remember, you want to get healthy again. Skipping meals isn't the way to do that."

As usual, his roommate was right. Logan took a small bite of the sausage and tried not to think of how Danny's satisfied smirk reminded him of Kendall. So much of Danny reminded him of Kendall that it hurt Logan to even look at him sometimes. Danny's hair was shorter and a lighter blonde and his eyes were blue. He was also a little shorter and thinner because of the years of drugs he had put his body through. But appearances didn't matter.

It was the way he made sure that Logan was never alone when they had free time. It was the way he made sure Logan knew absolutely everything there was to know about the rehab center and everyone there. It was the way he protected Logan from the handful of bullies there. It was the way he looked after Logan like a younger brother.

"You okay?"

And the way he was always concerned about Logan's well-being. Logan swallowed hard and nodded. He took another small bite of food and then glanced over at his new friend. "You remind me a lot of Kendall," he admitted quietly.

Danny grinned. "Well, I'm going to consider that a compliment. He sounds like a really cool guy. Of course, he's probably smarter than me but that's okay."

"He's smarter than me too," Logan sighed.

"All of us here," Danny reminded him. He was constantly reminding Logan of the other patients there. "You're not alone, Logan. It might not help because like I said before, this is no kind of life for anyone. But it does help because there are people who know what you're going through."

Logan nodded. "I know. It's just. . . still so hard. Do you think anyone will come to see me?"

"After two weeks? Man, the first time I came here, Carrie and Jason were practically breaking the front door down right before visiting hours started." Danny laughed a little and then turned serious. "I'm sure they'll come, Logan. It helps to have that forced break away from each other. Without you, they probably did a lot of thinking and by the time next week comes, they'll be ready and waiting."

"I wish I could be as sure as you are," Logan poked at his food and after Danny gave him a look, took yet another bite. He no longer felt sick and the food was good.

"We'll find out," Danny told him. "But I bet that you'll have someone to see you when the time comes. If not," he watched carefully as Logan flinched at the thought. "If not, then you're always welcome to hang out with me and Carrie and Jason. They'll be here that whole weekend."

Logan had met Danny's best friend and girlfriend twice before. They lived farther away and couldn't come to visit every single day. But when they did, Danny made sure that his younger roommate was included. And despite the fact that he hardly knew them, Logan never felt out of place around them. They had a natural, easy way about them that made him feel almost comfortable. They provided a welcome change to the heavy atmosphere.

"Good!" Danny said approvingly, nodding at Logan's now empty plate. "Now let's go hang out in the game room downstairs. You don't have anything to do until after lunch, right?"

Another Kendall-like trait. After only a week, Danny had memorized Logan's daily schedule and was constantly making sure he didn't miss a therapy session or physical exam. Logan smiled. "Right,"

"Feeling good?" Danny asked.

Logan nodded, trying to hold his smile when his heart was aching for Kendall. And James. And Carlos. And his mother and Katie. He set aside his tray and stood up, turning to leave the room when he felt a stronger arm wrap around his shoulders. Tears stung his eyes when he felt Danny's support. "I don't understand why I got you as my roommate. I deserve a jerk."

"No you don't," Danny shook his head. "I think you're paying enough for your mistakes. You want to get better, right? Okay, well, that means you deserve a little break. As for me, I'm just giving back whatever undeserved love I've been given all these years. That's something else you have to remember to do, Logan. Give it all back to someone else who needs it. You'll know when the time comes."

Three days later.

Logan was shaking. His palms were sweating and his breathing was heavy. It had come out of nowhere, just like the doctors warned him that it might. The withdrawal. One minute he had been attempting to shoot the pool balls like Danny had showed him and the very next minute, he was desperate for something, anything that would give him relief.

"Logan, look at me!"

He heard Danny's voice like it came from far away and shook his head, trying to hear better. "Help me," he whispered hoarsely, feeling tears as they streamed down his face. "Please. I need help."

"You're fine, Logan. I'm right here. You're going to be okay. Just take some deep breaths for me, okay? Jack, go get help."

More noises. Other voices and the sound of someone's footsteps as they ran to get help. But Logan knew it wasn't the help he was talking about and he shook his head frantically, trying to communicate to Danny. "No, not that kind of help," he said tearfully. "They can't help me! They won't give me what I need!"

"You don't need it anymore," Danny's voice was firm. "You're stronger now, Logan. Look, you've gone a week and a half without that kind of help. It's not really help, Logan. It only makes things worse in the end. You know that."

"N-no," Logan sobbed, his desperation mounting with each passing second and each refusal. "It's help. It always does."

"For a little while, yeah. But it's only temporary. It leaves you even emptier in the end, remember?"

Logan couldn't remember. All he could think of what the relief he always felt. He didn't remember anything that happened after that. It didn't matter. He wanted that relief. He needed that relief.

"How's he doing?"

It must have been one of the many nurses that distracted Danny long enough for Logan to jump up and start running wildly toward the door. He flung it open and tore down the halls, not having a clue of where he was going. He just hoped to find help. He heard voices behind him but he kept going, ignoring the thundering of his heart and the way his breath was already coming in sharp, short gasps even though he hadn't gone far at all.

He yanked open the first door he came to. It was a stairwell, going both up and down. Logan could hear a faint voice telling him to go up and so he obeyed the voice in his head, taking the steps three at a time. His legs were shaking so badly that it was a wonder he was still so far ahead of everyone. Logan pushed on, climbing several flights of steps until the voice was just ahead.

"Through this door. You'll get your help through this door."

Logan pulled the door open with such a force that he almost lost his balance and fell backwards down the stairs. He steadied himself and then followed the voice, through the door and out onto the open roof. "Where?" he asked, breathing heavily

"Just over here."

As if in a trance, Logan stumbled off in the direction of a voice that seemed to belong to no one. He had yet to see anyone. But that didn't matter. As long as whoever it was, gave him his help. He reached the railing and looked down a dizzying ten stories to the hard ground below.

"Jump, Logan."

Unsteadily, Logan gripped the railing and swung one leg over it and then the other so that he was facing the roof, his back to the empty space. His balance was kept by his white knuckled grip on the railing and the three inches of concrete that his feet rested on.

"Let go,"

Logan nodded and closed his eyes. He leaned backwards, feeling his feet start to slide off the edge. Then he started to loosen his grip.

"Let go, Logan."

He let go only to feel a strong pair of hands wrap around his wrists. Logan's eyes shot open to see a small crowd of horrified onlookers. The grip on his wrists tightened and then gave a firm yank. In one smooth motion, he was back over the railing, tumbling to the ground. A strong pair of arms kept him from escaping again."No!" he cried out, thrashing out. "Let me go!"

"Logan, you almost jumped off the roof!"

The voice was familiar. It sounded furious but at the same time it sounded concerned and it got Logan's attention a little bit. "You don't understand!" he said, shaking his head as tears continued to blind him. "That's what the voice told me to do! It said I would get help!"

"Logan, please listen to me. Logie?"

Logan stopped his struggling instantly and stared. At first he couldn't breathe and then he saw Danny watching him, his face tortured by what he had almost witnessed. "What did you call me?" he asked, his voice faint.

"Logie?" Danny repeated uncertainly. "Can you. . . hear me now?"

"What. . . what happened?" Logan stammered, looking around. "Why are we on the roof?"

There was a collective sigh of relief from everyone around and Danny relaxed. "You were going through withdrawal and then you must have had a hallucination," he explained as if it were the most natural thing in the world. His voice shook though and it was obvious that the near disaster wasn't a daily occurrence. "You tried to jump off of the roof."

Logan stared at him in horror. "I did?"

Danny merely nodded and then impulsively hugged Logan closer to him. "We almost lost you," he whispered.

Logan started to shake once again with sobs and clung to Danny with whatever strength he had in him. "You s-saved my life," he said shakily. The shock of what had nearly happened had shaken him deeply. He had almost died yet again.

"You're okay now," Danny said gently as the younger boy began to cry, coming down from his hallucinatory state. "I've got you. We're going to go down to our room now, okay? You need to lay down. Can you stand?"

Logan nodded and stood slowly, Danny supporting him the entire time. They moved slowly through the silent crowd, Danny assuring the concerned doctors and nurses that they could wait until they got back inside to look at Logan. Logan's legs gave out halfway down the first flight of stairs and Danny wound up carrying him the rest of the way.

"You called me Logie," he whispered once they arrived back in their room, followed by two doctors. "My best friends used to call me Logie."

"It seemed to work," Danny said with a tense smile. He frowned at the tears in Logan's eyes. "I can call you something else if you want."

Logan shook his head quickly. "No. I like it." It reminded him of home and his best friends and when everything had been right.

"Okay then, Logie." Danny stepped aside and sat down on his own bed as he watched the doctors move quickly to Logan's side. "Let them help you now. Just think. The day after tomorrow, you'll get to see your best friends again. That's good, right?"

It was the best. And it was impossible not to believe Danny. Logan nodded and smiled despite his most recent close call. "Thank you," he said, meaning everything.

A/N. I LIKE DANNY. -shot- Um, okay, that's all for now! Next chapter focuses on James and Kendall and Carlos! I'm gonna go write some angst.