Warning: PMS!Mito appears in this chapter. Headcanon, Mito is downright scary when Aunt Flow visits. Whoever stands up to her is pretty much asking for a death wish.

44) We will never speak of this again

"Okay we need a hundred Styrofoam balls, streamers, wire, a drill, Madara's cooking and some glass," Tobirama gave each of his students the load down. "You guys have each one thing to get on the list while I get the other three more easily. See you back in the training grounds in an hour."

*Five and a half hours and another mess up Uchiha later*

"Thanks to you Kagami would never be the same," Tōka finally finish her report. "But with time he can go back doing missions.

Hashirama was pissed off. Because they made Madara give him a mega man-bitch whining for about three and a half hours.

"We will never speak of this again," Hashirama was beyond words. Though Team Tobirama thought it was hysterical on what happen. "Do you understand?"

"But I don't get it, how could Kagami go….?" Hiruzen started to say.

"Never again!"

That made Tobirama and his students knew he meant business.

45) For the last time stop using my wife's monthly visit to scare Madara to death.

It was that time again. Tobirama could feel it. Tōka prepared for it since the last time. The Senju fear more than an uprising that Madara caused. Yes, it was Mito's time of the month. They felt sorry for her husband, their beloved leader, Hashirama and they fear that he might die. Not from fighting Madara but his wife's hand.

Thankfully for Tobirama left the compound and planned to stay away for the next five days. Maybe go to a beach or something. He can't tan for the life of him, he really burns after five minutes but just enjoy the day with his students. Of course he could use this as an excuse to leave Konoha and take a break.

But before he can taste that tropical drink he bumped into Madara inside of the Hokage tower. Tobirama didn't know how he got there but he didn't put much thought to it. Of course Madara wasn't having a good day and seemed to find his lightning rod of hate today.

"You will pay for what you did to poor Kagumi," he said with a lot of venom in his voice.

"You do know I'll just get Mito-sama and let me warn you," Tobirama smirked, "it's that time of the month for her."

On a normal day when she gets angry at him it is no big deal. Yet he hasn't seen a pms Mito which he is sure is the most nightmarish thing on the planet. Madara didn't want to know what would happen if Mito chose him to be her butt monkey.

"Of course Hashirama must deal with her for five days. You are very lucky to not see that side of her," Tobirama shudder at the thought.

Madara of course was in the fetal position sucking his thumb. He still remembered what happen the last time Mito turned him into the human pretzel. He didn't want to image what she would do to him at the time of the month.

45a) No, Madara would not be the new butt-monkey to Mito on her time of the month. But thank you for giving me a day of rest.

"Are you okay Madara?"

"Of course," he tried to get back some honor but failed. It was obvious that he was shaken. "Now you are going to pay for harming Kagumi."

"Do you even care about him?" Tobirama asked when Madara garbed his shirt's collar.

"Not really but I do care about the Uchiha's honor."

Tobirama gave a thought and knew what to do. It was evil but it would give Madara nightmares for the rest of his life.

"MITO-SAMA, MADARA CALLED YOU FAT!"

In no time a very angry Mito appeared exuding killing intent. Oh he is so screwed.

"What did you say about me?" she placed her hand on his shoulder and breaking it in the process.

He was force to let go Tobirama and drop in pain. Tobirama slowly back away from Mito knowing that he might be her next victim. He quickly took his students and informed their parents that they were going on a trip and be back within five days. He knew that Mito won't hurt his students but he didn't want to chance it.

Six days later

"Where did you go?" Hashirama looked up to see his brother with a five-o' clock shadow.

"The beach," Tobirama walked in with a badly burnt Hiruzen, a nicely tanned Koharu and slightly toasted Homura. Strangely Tobirama wasn't badly burned at all. In fact he was still pale.

"Let me guess you stayed under the beach umbrella or stayed at a bar."

"Pretty much," Tobirama smiled. He had a good vacation. "How's Madara?"

"It took three full days of intense therapy to make him semi-normal."

"I didn't know Madara was normal," Tobirama snarkly remark.

"Don't make him the butt-monkey to my wife ever again."

'I thought he already was her butt-monkey,' Tobirama, Koharu and Homura all thought at the same time.

45b) Stop using the excuse that you created a space time ninjutsu just to get away from my beautiful wife during her time of the month.

Yet again it was that time of the month. Tobirama was of course planning to leave the day before with his students. It was only a manner of time before a very angry Mito bites a couple of heads off just by giving her a "look." Tobirama often avoids Mito like the third scourge of mankind. Now he shall test his new jutsu to get away from her.

"Brother, what are you doing?" Hashirama asked.

"Oh a new jutsu," he left out why.

"Do I want to know the reason?"

"Do you?"

Hashirama thought a bit and decided that he didn't. He simply just left his younger brother to his jutsu making time. He was off to get his "poor" wife something to soothe her cramps. And tampons. When he got back his brother was gone than he heard something.

"It's complete," Tobirama smiled rather proudly.

"What the hell?" Mito screamed behind closed doors.

"She's yours," Tobirama told his brother before using his brand new Space-Time ninjutsu. Of course he "kidnapped" his students who were ready at their normal training ground. "To the beach."

Thankfully they were told ahead of time and were ready. All three of them were ready for different reasons. Koharu was ready to see her teacher topless, Hiruzen was ready to see Koharu in a bathing suit and Homura was ready to study creatures that lived on the beach.

Five days later and Tobirama with a five o'clock shadow

Five days' worth of drinking tropical drinks, surfing and lazing under an umbrella, Tobirama came back pale as ever. Which was slightly amazing but his secret would be taken with him to his grave. His three students did their thing. Hiruzen tried to impress Koharu, failed. Koharu did nothing but swim and admire their topless teacher and Homura learned firsthand not to anger a crab.

"You know I should never have left my clothes out in the open," Tobirama was walking with shorts and an open t-shirt that didn't belong to him. It made him look like a beach bum. "This happens every time. Well meet me at our normal training grounds."

"Hai," all three of them learn something from last time they visited a beach. Mostly Hiruzen, who wasn't red like a lobster but was nicely tanned.

Hashirama bumped into them not long after Tobirama left.

"How was your trip?" he regrettably asked.

"Well the trip to and fro didn't take long thanks to sensei's new Space-Time jutsu," Hiruzen proudly stated. "He simply made it to get away from Mito-sama during her woman time of the month."

There was a vein popping on Hashirama's forehead. So that's the reason behind that jutsu. Oh, he would force his brother to help him take care of Mito next month.

46) Team Tobirama can't have a ballista. *

"Okay students," he told them. "We are only doing this one time."

"Ahh" they whined.

"Why?" Hiruzen asked.

"Because our killjoy of a Hokage would take our toy away is the reason."

They all looked disappointed but they knew it was true. After some cheering up from Tobirama and Tobi the cat, they all went to work. They didn't destroy any part of the Uchiha compound which was new but they believe that it was Madara that made Hashirama look for them. After a few hours Tobirama launch each student to their desired location. He finally got down with this ballista. Now it is time to see that cute nurse again. After some calculations he managed to get to the right location.

"Well hello there," he smiled. Thankfully he still had his five o'clock shadow. It was that cute nurse that had stolen his heart. He had some cuts and bruises but that can be fixed.

All she could do is blushed a bright beet red color. They were in a vacant room together. How that happened reminds a mystery. Of course he could easily use his new Space-Time ninjutsu but shooting himself with something like a ballista was more fun. Then again his killjoy brother didn't approve at all.

A/N:

*The idea is from Cavallo Alato ( )/Equestrian-Equine(dA)