A/N I feel like I owe you all a huge apology and an explanation for not updating in so long. I have received a few reviews and pm's asking if I'm even going to continue with the story. . . Was it really that long?
The reason for my absence is because I have been really fucking pissed over the last few weeks and my head hasn't been in the right place to write what I want. I foolishly told someone at work, a person I trusted, about writing on fanfiction and she went and told a few more people about it. I'm easy enough to find because I use my real name instead of making up a username.
Understand that I'm not at all ashamed of what I write but I am ridiculously shy about it and no one I know has ever read a single thing I have written. But now a few people I work with have read my stories and have started to give me shit about my favourite hobby. I'm trying to ignore it but I know the minute I update I will have to listen to all the snickering and 'quotes' from my story again while I'm in work.
I was upset and embarrassed at first but as the weeks go on I am getting more and more furious with these bullies. Because that is what they are...full grown, adult bullies. But I have decided to say fuck them! Why should I give up something I love and something others (hopefully) are enjoying? So I am posting this chapter as a big 'up yours' to those fuckers who have nothing better to do than make fun of people for doing something that brings them happiness.
Oh and to add insult to injury I had to let my best friend, Jack, go this week. He was a sweet Golden Labrador Retriever that I had for seventeen years. I was only sixteen when I brought him home. He was my furry baby and my heart is shattered now that he is gone. The pain of actually losing him made me realise that nothing any of those bullies says or does can truly hurt me because none of them mean anything to me.
Okay rant over (sorry)
ANA POV
Over the next few days everything is calm and quiet. Eerily so. I was expecting some kind of backlash from my mother, perhaps through the media, or maybe from Elena. But there has been nothing. I'm afraid Christian knows more and is hiding it from me but I don't want to ask as I may not like the answer. The media attention still hasn't calmed down and Sandra rang me the other day saying she can't have me back at the deli for safety reasons. That was tough to deal with as now I'm not sure what I'm going to do going forward as this will probably happen no matter where I go to work. I must say, although he tries to hide it, Christians not too broken up about it. I caught him trying to hide a grin when I told him.
Christian. He has been pretty much hands off with me all week. I know it's because of what happened last weekend and he doesn't want to push it and is trying to give me some space to work through it all and I am grateful as I did need that time, for a day or two. But now it's just getting old and I am too shy to broach the subject with him.
It's not that he doesn't touch me, quite the opposite actually. He holds me and hugs me all the time and pulls me close as we sleep, I wake every morning with him wrapped around me, he just hasn't touched me in that way since last Saturday. Today is Friday so it has been almost a week and I am feeling a little...frustrated.
''Ana? Baby where are you?" Speak of the devil...
''I'm in here," I call from the comfy oversized chair in the library. This is by far my favourite room in this monster of an apartment. It is the only room, other than our bedroom, that doesn't intimidate me.
Christian appears in the doorway dressed in a dark grey Armani suit with a silver tie and I want to lick my lips he looks so delicious. I bite my lip to stop myself and he grins. "Hey," my voice is breathy he looks so good.
"Hey yourself," he says as he enters the room and makes a beeline for me. He pulls me up out of the chair and envelopes me in a hug. Man, he smells good. Edible. I inhale deeply.
"How was your day?"
"Boring."
He pulls back and quirks a brow at me. "Do you want to go somewhere tonight? Out for dinner maybe?
I pull back to look at him. I want to say 'no just take me to bed', but of course I could never say that without dying of mortification. Anyway...what if he said no? I bite my lip again and his eyes darken.
"Stop biting your lip," his voice is husky. Oh. My.
Maybe I won't have to beg him to touch me again after all.
"Gail has already started d...dinner," I manage in a wobbly voice, sure my want for him is plain to read on my face.
He doesn't answer he just leans in and captures my mouth in a searing kiss that lasts for what feels like hours. His tongue licks into my mouth and my knees weaken as he pulls me against him. I can feel his...desire, pressed against my soft belly and I moan. He groans and grinds against me in response. Finally!
But then he pulls away. "Do you want to watch a movie in the TV room after we have dinner?"
What? I want to scream, but I just nod my head dumbly.
He gives me a quick peck on the lips before he grabs my hand and leads me off to take my shot before dinner. I let him pull me along as I wonder what else I could possibly do to send him a clearer signal that I want him to touch me.
After dinner we sit in the TV room. Christian told me to pick a DVD and I just pulled one off the shelf at random, not even knowing what it was. He raised his eyebrows but said nothing before putting it on. I could care less what we watch.
Note to self: always read the cover of the DVD you pick to watch in future.
Twenty minutes into the film all thoughts of seducing Christian have evaporated as I screech and all but climb into his lap while he chuckles.
"What is this movie?" I whimper into his chest.
He chuckles and wraps his arms around me as I cling to him, "Saw," his answer is punctuated by the scream of some innocent person being mutilated.
"Jesus fucking Christ," this film is horrendous.
I yelp when I feel a slight sting on my butt. "Language Miss Steele."
I can't help but giggle at his admonishment, the man curses more than anyone I've ever met. "You can't say you seriously like this type of movie?" I ask, face still buried in his shirt lest I see something that will scar me for life.
"I'm starting to see its benefits." He answers and I can hear the humour in his voice, but also the sincerity as he holds me closer.
"Actually I think this movie belongs to Elliot, he brought it over one night years ago when I first moved in but Mia was here as well and threw a fit when he tried to put it on."
This answer intrigues me. I know so little of his family as I have really only met them a couple of times, other than Grace of course. "You have movie nights with your siblings?"
"Hardly," he snorts. "They ambushed me. They were always trying to make me feel like one of them. They have pretty much given up now though." He shrugs his shoulders and although he tries to hide it I can see that this makes him sad. "Lost cause."
His forced nonchalance makes my insides hurt. "Christian." I don't know what else to say. "They are your family, they love you."
Christian stares at me but doesn't say anything. He looks like he wants to believe me but is afraid to. I may not know his family very well but from what I have seen of them they all love him very much.
Suddenly his mood shifts and he leans forward and presses his lips forcefully against mine, startling me. Talk about mercurial. I know he is doing it to distract me and I decide to let him, for now. We are having a pretty heavy make out session on the couch when I am distracted by yet more screaming from the blasted movie. Christian, not wanting to be disrupted, fumbles blindly for the remote, his mouth never leaving mine, and switches off the TV. I giggle.
"Something funny Miss Steele?" he whispers against my lips, his hot breath fanning across my face.
"You seem eager tonight," I observe. "I approve."
Christian growls, "do you now?"
He has pushed me back onto the couch and is lying between my spread legs. I can feel the pressure from his erect penis pressing against my centre through the soft fabric of our sweats. He's driving me insane, I squirm.
"Yes," I breathe.
He leans down and sucks gently on my neck and grabs the back of my thigh as I wrap my legs around him. I am panting as his hand slides up to grab my backside. We make out for ages but Christian makes no moves to go any further and I'm getting frustrated again.
Why won't he ask me to make love with him? I have been ready for a while now and I am all but desperate for him to just do it.
In my frustration I blurt out, "take me to bed Christian, please?" This is as close as I will ever get to telling him I'm ready.
He stills and I immediately clam up and bite my lip.
He raises an eyebrow, "are you tired?"
Am. I. Tired?
Is this man being deliberately obtuse? I shake my head as my face flames with embarrassment.
"Then why do you want to go to bed? Do you not feel well?"
"For crying out loud Christian! Why do you think I would ask you to take me to bed?" I huff through my mortification. He shrugs one shoulder, grinning, and I've had enough. He still lying on top of me and I try to push him off so I can storm dramatically out of the room. But he won't budge, his eyes pierce into mine, all his humour gone, and I am frozen in place.
"Say it."
"What?" I squeak, all my bravado gone.
Christian's eyes grow impossibly soft and he leans down and kisses me gently...lovingly. The gesture is so sweet it almost liquefied my insides. "I need you to tell me why you want me to take you to bed."
His gaze is so pure and honest I can't help but tell him what he so obviously needs to hear.
"Make love to me Christian," my face flames with my words but I have never meant anything more in my life. I love this man and I am ready to give myself to him.
He groans and buries his face in my neck. "Finally," he mutters making me giggle again.
He rises fluidly from the couch bringing me with him and carries me towards our bedroom. A thought occurs to me. "Is this why you didn't touch me all week? You wanted m...me to make the decision by myself?"
He stops just inside the bedroom door and let's me slide down his body. "Yes. And it nearly killed me." I would assume he was joking except he isn't even smiling. "I needed for you to be sure you were ready for this without any...coercion on my part."
And just like that all my shyness disappears. This man loves me. He would do anything for me, he has proved that over and over again. "I love you."
His smile is blinding, "I love you too baby...now get on the bed." Demanding Christian is never far away, and I love it.
He follows me over and pulls the comforter away just before I climb up into the large bed and lie in the centre with my head on the pillow. He climbs over me and slowly removes my clothes, leaving a trail of heated kisses in the wake of every removed garment.
In no time I am lying there in just my panties and Christians dark eyes are looking down on me appreciatively. There is no mistaking the hunger in his eyes. A few months ago that look would have terrified me but now the raw appreciation I see there makes me squirm. I already have a good idea what he can make my body feel and I am eager to find out more.
"Beautiful."
He stands up and pulls off his own clothes quickly. Once again the sight of his penis intimidates me. I feel the first little bit of fear creep back in hoping it won't hurt too much. There is no way that is going to fit easily inside me.
Christian, sensing my apprehension, climbs back onto the bed and lies down beside me. "Don't be afraid sweetheart, I promise I will get you ready for me. By the time I take you I will slide right in."
I am a little embarrassed he is so forthcoming about what he is going to do to me. But I am also oddly grateful for this and for his patience with me.
"I trust you," I whisper. This was perhaps the perfect thing to say as my trust means everything to Christian.
"Thank you baby. I am going to touch you now."
Soft as petals his fingers drag up my tummy, tickling me. Christian gently takes hold of my breast and plumps it a little before lowering his head and pulling my nipple into his hot mouth.
My legs instantly stiffen and my breathing turns heavy. I don't want to put him off by grabbing at him so I hold onto the sheet beneath me.
Still suckling at one breast he moves his hand to the other and gently rolls the nipple between his fingers before pinching it a little. I moan and push my head back into the pillow. He continues like this, switching his mouth from one breast to the other only stopping to murmur his praise before releasing me with a pop and kissing my mouth instead.
The sensation of his hot mouth on mine and the chilled feeling of air on my now wet nipples is indescribable and I moan into his mouth.
"So beautiful."
Still kissing me, Christians hand snakes down my body and cups my sex. I buck my hips up into his hand, needing some friction. I am so wet I can feel his fingers slipping and sliding around me as his fingers explore me. When he finds what he's looking for he presses against the little bundle of nerves and I cry out into his mouth.
"Always so wet for me."
Christian moves his mouth back to my neglected breasts and starts to move his fingers in the same rhythm as his mouth. The feeling is...I groan loudly.
"Let me hear you Ana."
I cry out sharply with pleasure and draw my legs further apart and bring my knees up when he pushes first one then a second finger inside me, his thumb still making gently circles on my clitoris.
"So small. So warm for me."
I start to pant. "Please, please!"
"Shh. I'll take care of you baby."
Christian continues his ministrations while whispering praise and encouragement to me until I feel my whole body stiffen then erupt when I come with a scream. He keeps up his movements, wringing every last bit of my orgasms out of me, leaving me shaking when he finally pulls his hand away.
When I come down from my high and open my eyes he is staring down at me with an impossibly tender expression.
"Beautiful."
I smile up at him lazily but I'm jolted wide awake when he brings his fingers up to his mouth and sucks on them...slowly.
"Soon I am going to make you come with my face buried in your pussy. And you will love it." He laughs at the shock that must be plain on my face.
"Do you still want to do this Ana?"
"Yes," I answer, all shyness gone now. I am so comfortable and confident his Christians love for me I trust him completely to take my body to wherever he want to lead me.
He says no more he just simply leans in for another deep kiss as he shifts his body over mine. I long to touch him, to run my palms over his perfect chest. His skin looks so firm yet soft at the same time with a small smattering of copper hair leading down from his lower tummy to his, now enormous, penis.
There is no need for a condom as Christian has insured me that he is clean and for obvious reasons, so am I. Grace suggested a while back I go on the pill to regulate my period when she was examining me. That was an awkward discussion as she told me I had to take it every day at the same time for contraceptive purposes.
Yeah. I have a sneaking suspicion Grace knew where our relationship was headed before we did.
"Are you ready?" he's so sweet I could cry. I nod.
He touches me again. "More than ready," he groans.
He holds my face gently with one hand as he uses his other to guide himself against me. I am a little rigid now as he rubs the head of his penis up and down my folds before notching himself against my entrance.
"Relax baby," he whispers against my lips and I melt into the bed a little and breathe again. It seems like I need constant reminding from him not to tense up.
"I'm going to push in a little now."
I look up wide eyed at his enormous frame looming over me. He kisses me again as he starts to push inside me. My hands instantly come up and grip his arms. This doesn't seem to bother him so I grip a little tighter and hang on.
He rocks back and forth a couple of times, pushing deeper each time. The feeling is strange, full, but it doesn't really hurt. I can feel my muscles stretching to accommodate his massive size.
Christian is the one who is panting now and he buries his face in my neck. The effort to restrain himself clearly showing as the muscles in his arms shake a little under my hands.
"I'm going to push all the way in now baby, I'm sorry but it's going to hurt at first."
With that his hips surge forward until his pelvis touches my own. I gasp. Holy fuck that does hurt, I tense up again as I feel my muscles contract painfully as they try to get used to this intrusion. I feel almost too full.
"Holy mother fuck you are so tight...are you okay?"
"Give me a second." I shift my hips up slightly and it seems to ease some of the pressure. Christian is still buried fully inside me but the pain has all but gone now. "I'm good you can move," I say on a panting breath.
Christian pulls out slowly and pushes back in a few times. Each time he pushes back in I get more used to the sensation and I start to enjoy the feeling of him filling me up.
"How does that feel Ana."
I am so lost in the sensations of his movements I can't answer. Christian slows and pulls back to stare into my eyes, the strain evident on his face. "You with me here Ana?"
"Yes, yes," I breathe out. "Don't stop, please, I need...I need..." what do I need?
"It's okay baby I know what you need. Move with me sweetheart...yes that's perfect. Holy Christ you feel amazing. I'm going to move faster now okay?"
Christian picks up his speed and I do my best to keep up with him, shifting my hips forward every time he pushes into me. He is moving fast and hard now and each time he hits the end of me little noises and whimpers of pleasure fall unbidden from my throat.
Christian suddenly puts one hand under my bottom and lifts me up towards him. This movement amplifies the feeling of his thrusts and now I can feel pressure building low in my belly. It is like when I came before only much, much more intense.
"Christian!"
"It's okay baby, I've got you. Let go. Come for me Ana." Christian grunts out between thrusts.
My hands fly into his hair and pull hard as the feelings become so intense I start to chant, "yes, yes, yes," with every thrust.
Suddenly my entire body is seized in a spasm of pure bliss and I fall into a spectacular orgasm, my body bucking and shaking as my vision narrows and I think I see stars. I am vaguely aware of Christian growling in my ear before his body goes rigid and I can feel a warmth spread through my insides.
After a few moments Christian collapses his body pressing me into the bed and I welcome the weight of him or I may float straight off this bed.
We lay like that for an age before Christian pulls back and offers me a lazy smile while gazing down at me.
"Wow."
"You stole my line."
A/N Not used to writing lemons yet guys as I haven't really done too many but I hope this one sufficed!
Please review, and sorry again for the late update x