Chapter 26:
"…Nothing happened, eh?"
Looking at the floor, I can't find any footprints or anything out of the ordinary that happened while I was gone. Deducing that something wants me specifically, and not the various stuff we have to keep us alive. That's good news, that means that Uzume won't cut my neck anytime soon. She's really suspecting me of being a giant turned human.
"Gets me to enjoy this moment" for a while at least.
"Let's celebrate Umio's rescue, everyone! Cheers!" Neptune raised her beer glass. And no, that's really beer.
"Cheers!" the rest of us cheered as we bumped glasses in the air.
*Chunk!*
After we rescued our fishy friend here, we immediately returned and held a party as per Neptune's behest. We prepped some beer. Yes, you heard me right. Beer. It's beer without alcohol by the way. And the food to go along with it is…
"Cheers… is what I wish to say, but why is this a roasted fish party?" our floating friend asks as he looks at the roasted fish we have prepared.
"Well, this is the only food I had on hand" Uzume answered. True, breakfast earlier this morning was the last of it.
"I understand what you are saying, and I also understand that fish is the most abundant nutritional resource in the area…" Umio nods in acceptance, how he nods is beyond me.
"But, for me, this is basically cannibalism… And this is freshwater fish, at that…!" it's a first for everything.
"Ohh… yeah… right. Sorry"
"Hey, at least it goes well with the non-alcohol beer we got" I said as I take a pinch of the fish with my fork. After I drink a tad, I pop the fish meat into my mouth. Goes really well.
"How about some krill?" Neptune asked our floating fish.
"Krill? Hm. Well, perhaps. I will partake" Neptune starts frying the Krill we have.
"I'm sorry, too, Umio. We wanted to celebrate your return but we didn't really know how to prepare anything very elaborate…" Nepgear apologizes.
"I can make simple sweets, but when it comes to meals, it's not really my strong suit… That'll be Big Brother's specialty… though, he kinda does everything in the kitchen"
"Yup! He comes up with unique food every lunch and dinner! It's like his head is a cookbook!" Neptune adds.
"Nonsense… as much as I have a plethora of dishes in my head, I can see my future protégé in you Nepgear" I am honestly baffled by her level of growth. She could get me chased out of the kitchen real soon.
"It's nothing you need to apologize for, Gearsy. The gesture is good enough for me. Thank you" Umio reassured her.
"By the way, what do you two usually eat? I can't imagine there are many other things available aside from canned foods" Nepgear asked.
"When necessary, we do utilize our canned goods, but normally, Uzume prepares meals with anything she can find out there" Umio answered.
"Granted, they're simple dishes, of course, and we generally season and heat the gathered ingredients to create our meals"
"Oooooh! You guys should have your own survival reality show or something!" starring Bear Grills, Neptune?
"So, have you ever eaten locusts or snakes or frogs before?"
"Ugghh! Nepsy! No freakin' way! Ewww, slimy little frog legs… Totally gross!" please apologize to all the frog eaters out there, Uzume.
"Uzume, language," Umio tells her, and she coughed and gulped.
"…" does she really need to hide it?
"Yeah, no way in hell I'd eat one of those ugly bastards" regaining her original gait, she answered. Please apologize to the frogs too.
"Awwww. It'd have been really cool if you were able to chow down on some exotic grub like that. Oh, well" and Neptune uses her trump card as she flips the krill on the grill.
"C-C-Cool…?! D-Do you mean I could be… cool?!" as though she saw nirvana, she smiles so widely that sparkles are sparkling around her.
"Yup! Duh!"
"I see… so, people think you're cool if you can eat a frog… Maybe I'll try it out…" no you don't.
"Wait, don't get tri-MMMMH!" I cover Nepgear's mouth.
"If you must try a frog then I recommend swamp frogs, looks gross but man those slimy things are juicy"
"MmmGH!-mmmgh!" stop struggling, little sister.
"Ooooh! A recommendation, when it comes to recommendations, Jared's only says the best of stuff"
*Crunch!*
"-!" Owowowowowowowowow! Did this girl just crunch her teeth until the bones in my hand broke!?
"Sis! You gotta stop saying weird things like that, it's not very nice" once released from her confines, she tells her sister.
"Yeah, it's also not nice to break your Brother's hand with your teeth…" god, that hurts…
"That's what you get for being a bully, Big Brother" don't copy your Big Sister.
"Uzume, before I forget, the Baby Bugs gave these to me as a gift for helping them, would you like to take some?" Umio pulled out a bag from out of nowhere. Like seriously, where did he get that bag?
"What is it?" Uzume takes the bag from his fins and takes a peek inside.
"Eyuuuuuughhhhh?!" eyuuuuugh? How do you say that?
"Those are shiitake mushrooms!" as though it's her kryptonite, she throws the bag of mushrooms at me. I catch it and take a peek. Oh, these are good looking mushrooms.
"They're delicious if you roast them on a skewer, and the sight of you avariciously devouring them would be quite… delightful" Umio knows his mushrooms.
"No, no, no freakin' way! I don't care what anyone says- I'm never eating those things!" Uzume rejects the idea.
"Dear me, your disdain for shiitake mushrooms is incredibly worrisome"
"Oh, I know how that feels Umio" I'm worried from my wife's disdain on vegetables, especially eggplants.
"You don't eat shiitake, Uzume?" Nepgear asked. Of course, she doesn't eat them.
"I can't. Can't stand the taste or texture…" all veggies are something to get used to.
"It's truly a shame. They are very convenient. Shiitake mushrooms are exquisite roasted or boiled and they perform wonderfully in soup stocks" Umio said.
"Ah, when you want the texture to be a bit wilder. Shiitake mushrooms got your back" I said. I've incorporated a lot of shiitake mushrooms in many of my dishes.
"Soup stock?! I wouldn't touch one with a ten-foot pole!" you remind me of a certain woman that hates eggplants to a core.
"Speaking of 10-foot poles. Umio, you're krill is ready" I hand him the grilled krill.
"Thank you, Jared" with his fin he takes the krill off my hands.
"Anyway, now that we're nourished, I suppose it's time we explain what has actually transpired here in this nation," Umio said as I drink the rest of my non-alcoholic beer. Oh, is it time for some serious talk?
"Additionally, I extend my deepest gratitude to you three for saving me. Now, could you tell me how you three happened to come to this city?"
"Oh, Jared can explain that" Neptune passes the ball to me.
"Long story short, we found a console in some alley, attempted to fix it since it looks usable enough, suddenly opened an Einstein-Rosen bridge, got sucked in, and landed here" I say it all in one breath.
"We also don't have any means to communicate to where we came from" Nepgear adds.
"For now we concluded that we're in a different place or different country or whatever. And we're trying to find a way to go back"
"…So, yeah, what they said. We're in a bit of a bind" Neptune said.
"I see. What a unique predicament" Umio responds not really.
"So, you've come here from another continent, or perhaps have burrowed your way out of an underground nation. Or, you're delusional…" please let it be the last part.
"Or from another dimension" I cut in.
"Yes, I could construct several different theories, but that is the most probable" Umio agrees with me.
"Awww. I hate to say it, but I wish that wasn't the case again…" Neptune smiles awkwardly.
"'Again…?' May I assume that you three journeyed to an alternate dimension?"
"Mhm, in fact, Jared here isn't even from our dimension and he traveled all the way just to settle-down like an old man"
"I'm still young you know. 21 year's old" I protest.
"Man, we went through a lot of trouble to get back home last time, too. Time gets all wacky- we were gone for years but back home only a few days had passed…"
"I see…" Umio nods.
"…So, how will we get home? If we're really in another dimension, we can probably can't even contact Histoire…" Nepgear asked.
"Wouldn't Jared have the answer?"
"Shares or creating a wormhole. Those are our options" I answered.
"Eh? So we do the standard route of collecting shares to get back home eh?"
"Righto. Dense enough that the 3D space transforms into the 6th dimension, opening a path…" through connecting that path requires some precise math to do.
"But how can we…? Umio, are really the only ones here? Maybe there are other people hiding somewhere far away…?" Nepgear asked the most obvious resource for shares.
"Now that I think about it… did none of the CPUs from the other nations survive? Where are they?" she followed-up.
"I apologize, but as far as I know, the only CPU that exists is Uzume" Umio answered.
"There used to be people here though, right? There are still traces of them left on the internet"
"Indeed. They existed a long time ago. Without knowledge of their existence, I would not have thought of you as human" so humans are extinct huh.
"However, when I was born, this world was already in this state of desolation and ruin. That's why I was quite surprised to meet you both"
"So, does no one actually know why the world ended up in this condition…?"
"Uzume states that 'the giant', as she calls it, is the direct reason, but I believe an even greater cause exists…"
"Hm. Would you take a look at this? It's some data I found, although it's a little broken…" Nepgear pulls the N-Gear. She presses some things on the screen before showing it to Umio.
"…Hmmm… This appears to be a journal. The text is buggy here and there, but this truly is quite fascinating"
"Umio, I'd like to investigate more about what's happened to this world"
"Then, my ability may not be great, but allow me to help. We may uncover information vital to the safety and preservation of this world"
"Thank you very much!" so she just asked for permission? Typical Nepgear.
"…Incidentally, Uzume has been rather quiet for some time now…" we look around and found Uzume sleeping where she sits, laid on the floor vulnerable to any kind of attacks.
"…Zzzz…Zzzz…" she seems to be dreaming something.
"She appears to be in deep sleep…" ain't that obvious.
"Oh, I'm sorry for keeping you three up as well. I'm sure you're all very tired"
"Please. it's no trouble at all" Nepgear reassured.
"Actually, Umio, there's something I wanted to ask you about Uzume" Neptune suddenly spoke up.
"So, I noticed Uzume's personality and speech kinda change randomly once in a while… What the heck is up with that?"
"She is… pushing herself"
"Pushing herself?"
"Originally, she was a girl with a cheerful disposition, much like when she transforms" that's why she can't hide it so well.
"Even if she acted carefreely, she was very earnest. She may have believed that, as she was, we could not rely on her in this crumbling world" understandable.
"As she continued a life of survival and combat, her personality and speech slowly changed"
"So that's why she's so hung up on the idea of being cool, huh?" Neptune concludes.
"She must have read too many comics in her spare" I commented.
"There must be some part of her subconscious that relates being cool to being reliable" those 2 are 2 separate things.
"But one's personality is not something so easily changed" as we've observed, thank you very much.
"As Uzume has always been prone to daydreams, she often returns to her true self during those times" so she longs to end this charade she built upon herself.
"Now then, it's quite late. We can speak of what our next steps will be in the morning. I'm sure you are both tired, so, please, get some rest" Umio followed up his request and we all stand up on the spot. As I stand, I put out the fire we have for the grill and drink the last of my non-alcohol beer in one go.
"We can take care of the mess tomorrow morning" I suggested and the girls nod.
"Then…" I crouch down again and lift Uzume up. She's lighter than I expected her to be. I hope she doesn't wake up or she'll punch my head off.
"Good night, Umio. Thanks for speaking with us" Nepgear said.
"Yes, good night. Pleasant dreams to you all as well"