Place: DiMera Compound

Time: February 2003

Leaning in the doorway, Tony tried to visualize the room as it used to be. Tables with trays full of instruments, metal carts and old-fashioned machines designed before the advent of computer technology, the incubators complete with labels marked boy and girl, an examination table he remembered moved off to one side of the room on which Marlena had given birth to their children. A room of horrors… and miracles.

Just allowing his imagination to picture it stirred a host of conflicting emotions. His children. His beautiful, incredible children so starved for love and attention, and programmed to do what? They'd been created in a laboratory and in the beginning, perhaps it had been an act of desperate, even twisted love, but not by the time their existence became a fact. By then, Stefano cared about only one thing, revenge. His life had deteriorated until wreaking havoc consumed him, perhaps in an effort to fill the void that had become his entire universe.

"Excuse me sir," The voice piped up from behind him and he turned to make room for a workman guiding a crate through the doorway and down the steps on a dolly. There were already several more scattered around and soon the room would not require an act of imagination. It would be transformed.

A prospect Tony certainly was not looking forward to. His memories of this room were anything but pleasant and it had taken only a glimpse to recognize the source of his waking nightmares, the ones that had plagued him for months now. It had all taken place here. He'd spent months wanting to know why but not anymore because inevitably it led to the same bloody maze from which escape was no more than an illusion. Discovering his past was turning out to be a nightmare.

He lifted his glass, but it was empty so with one last glance around the barren stonewalls, he left and descended the first flight of stairs, which brought him the section of the house where John and Marlena's bedroom was located. There was no one in the hall this time and their door remained closed. No sound or movement. That would change as soon as the hammering began he was sure but for now at least he could enjoy the silence. Once he reached the bottom floor, he replenished his drink and taking it with him, strolled outside into the warm balmy, tropical air. The crashing of the waves against the cliffs echoed in the distance along with a voice…

It was trying to yell over the din of the propellers, and not succeeding. Tony had taxied the plane over next to the one kept at the island for Rolf's personal use. Sebastian stood waiting, shouting something. Tony cut the engines, and heard the end of his message, "…your scuba gear," and figured it probably had to do with whatever excuse Sebastian made up to explain his frequent visits to the island. It seemed farfetched but Rolf might accept it, after all Sebastian had been the one of Tony's favorite dive companions once, and the island had an incredible reef. Rolf would still be suspicious but he'd have to pretend to be respectful.

"Here," he grunted, lifting a bag from behind his seat and handing it to Sebastian. He had to scrounge to find a tank and a wet suit that would fit him properly, and then a pair of fins that matched. The equipment in the plane wasn't being taken care of, and he made a mental note to talk to Peter when he got back about straightening up after his friends.

"If this is the same tank you used last time, I hope you had it repaired."

Tony's normal response would have been some smart-ass remark, but he ignored his friend's worried caution knowing it had nothing to do with the safety of his gear. "How's Marlena?"

"Tired, but she perked up enough when she heard you were coming," and Sebastian's grin was lopsided.

Tony did his best to ignore this too. "And the twins?"

His friend's lascivious grin vanished instantaneously. "They're better," he said carefully, "but…"

In the midst of hoisting the tank on his back to carry it down though the tunnel, Tony stopped, alarmed at the tone he heard in Sebastian's voice. "But?"

Sebastian bit his lip. "I think they're going to take them away from here."

He straightened up slowly, and leaned back against the fuselage thinking that he should have known this would happen eventually. It had never been Stefano's intention for Marlena to keep the twins. No doubt he had plans of his own. "When?"

But Sebastian shook his head with regret and Tony nodded.

"More information to try and dig up," he signed, lifting the tank with his gear attached, and heading off to the trap door. He could hear Sebastian trudging behind him. At the ring of banana and palm trees he halted, waiting for Sebastian to catch up and open the door that lead to the flight of steps but when he did reach his side, Sebastian stopped too, and simply stared at the piece of rusted metal which was the only part of the door that was visible, without moving.

"You're here because you have bad news for her, aren't you?"

Not all that many people existed in his life that could read Tony as well as the man beside him. It was a gift, quite a special one. Sebastian could touch people and creatures in ways that never failed to astound Tony and to an even greater degree than Stefano, no doubt because he used his ability to different ends but there was still a down side to having such talents. If he could touch them, they could do the same, and Tony couldn't disguise the pain that resided in his soul now without obliterating what was left of his conscience, and so he nodded.

Silence, or rather the sounds of the ocean and the wind took over as Sebastian hesitated, debating how to reply. They'd known each other since childhood but it wasn't until later, a number of years after Tony came back from Australia they'd formed a bond that helped both weather difficult times. After that, Tony left and went to America. Sebastian learned only bits and pieces of what had happened to him there, the most shocking one from Marlena herself… Stefano had tried to kill his son. It was a fact incomprehensible to Sebastian who'd witnessed Stefano's pride in his children, especially Tony. What terrible thing had torn their relationship apart to such an extent that it made Stefano do the unthinkable and Tony willing to believe the worst of his father? Though he couldn't ask, he knew it wasn't just a figment of his friend's imagination because the proof of it lived in Tony's eyes. Much the same as the fear that he could see haunting Marlena.

"Does the information have something to do with your father?"

"My father..." and Tony actually laughed, "…is insane."

There it was, the fierce sense of hopelessness and the answer to the question he'd avoided. "He is no saint, I know but…"

Setting the tank down once again, Tony faced him. "I haven't been entirely up front with you about what is going on here."

But Sebastian shook his head. "You needed my help, as I needed yours once." His gaze was pointed. "You asked no questions of me at the time, demanded no assurance or explanations."

The edge in Tony's eyes softened and he had to glance away. "Yes, but you have a family now, a wife, your son. I'd never forgive myself if I was the cause of Stefano hurting them in anyway."

Betrayal was not tolerated in this family but Sebastian had lived his entire life within its folds, protected. Stefano did not secure the loyalty of his people by indulging himself as Tony was suggesting. "Surely you don't believe that."

"You think I want to?" Tony squeezed his eyes shut and ran a hand across his eyes. "God, not even after I learned the twins were mine but…" his usually expressive face hardened as he tried to hold in the emotions. "He's changed Sebastian. I've always known what he was but this is different…when I came back I thought perhaps there was a chance for our relationship but I was so wrong and," he turned to eye his friend squarely, "I don't want you paying for my mistakes."

"Are you trying to fire me?"

That got the response he was hoping for, even if the smile was a bit wry and for a moment Tony's face had the wickedly boyish look to it that Sebastian remembered fondly from the old days. "No, I was hoping you might quit on your own."

"Ah…" Sebastian smiled back at him, "but I don't work for you, remember?"

"All too well."

And he did, in fact no one understood that concept better than Stefano's son Sebastian suspected. It was a strange, even archaic system, especially to those on the outside, and perhaps it had seen its day but for those whose lives it sheltered, as it had Sebastian and his family's since before Stefano took charge, it provided a purpose, and security that didn't exist elsewhere…unless the one responsible for providing that haven betrayed his trust. Sebastian thought back to the days when Tony had only just arrived from Australia and how Stefano's eyes would light up when Tony entered the room…his pride and joy, and he made no bones about how he felt.

When Tony came to the island originally and discovered its secret, Sebastian thought him upset at Stefano merely because of her. It was obvious they knew each other, that there was a connection. But nothing happened at first. He made no play for her and treated her more like a sister than anything else and then Marlena had opened up to Sebastian about her history with Stefano…about her husband, and what Tony went through when he was in the States.

Sebastian didn't understand why. He was pretty sure he didn't want to either seeing the pain Tony was going through but he could no longer ignore the implications of what was taking place here after what he heard from both of them. The time had arrived to make a decision, and choose sides. "Your father might be the one who pays me," Sebastian said finally, his eyes reaching Tony's and holding his gaze, "but he doesn't own me."

Tony hung onto his smile but now it contained a sadness that Sebastian had never seen there before. "I'm afraid my father has sunk to the point that he believes in his right to own whatever falls into his grasp."

Sebastian shrugged. "His delusions are his own problem."

"That is true," said Tony, drawing the words out slowly, "but he has the power and resources to back them up."

"If you are convinced of that, why fight it? Why did you come back at all?"

"You already know the answer to that," said Tony, woodenly

"Perhaps…" Their eyes met once more and Sebastian let the silence hang a moment. "Perhaps I'd like to be certain you still believe it."

Tony's gaze dropped down and he leaned over the tank. Sebastian could see him struggling with it. It was a responsibility he didn't want, not the way his father had before him but it had dogged him and somehow been the one thing that drug him through those times when he'd been tempted to give up and surrender. He might not be the future of the DiMera family, but he could make sure one existed for them. "I won't…can't let him destroy it all merely to satisfy his own twisted idea of justice. I've seen what he's capable of now, and…" Tony shook his head with angry resignation, "he'll keep it up until there is nothing left and he's used every last one of us."

When he glanced back up, he found a smile dancing in Sebastian's fair blue eyes and his friend gave a nod. "In that case, I'd hardly be doing my family any favors by allowing that to continue, now would I?" and when Tony opened his mouth, Sebastian reached over and squeezed his arm. "If it makes you feel any better, I'm doing this as much for myself as I am for you."

Tony nodded uncomfortably as Sebastian let go of his arm and went to open the trap door.

"How long have you known Sebastian?" Marlena's voice wasn't sleepy at all as she lay in his arms, and he smiled in amusement. Anna had been the same way. Sex always left her wide-awake, and hungry, but then he couldn't think of single thing that hadn't sparked Anna's appetite.

"I'm not sure, since I was a child before my mother took me away."

"And were you always friends?"

The question provoked images of the first time he'd seen Sebastian upon his return, down in front of the family's Venetian residence with Andre and a young Peter. Andre had not been happy to see Tony there. Poor Peter had been caught in the middle of what turned into a malicious reunion until Sebastian took matters into his own hands, purposely stranding Andre as he guided the gondola away with only Tony and Peter aboard. The look of outrage on Andre's face was one that Tony still treasured. "No," he told her "but Sebastian has a unique way of choosing his friends."

"Like Eugene?"

"Well, he doesn't have vibes like Gene does but…"

"He knows people, its almost as though he can see right into your soul."

Her insight piqued Tony's curiosity. "What did he say to you?"

"Oh," Her embarrassment was evident and Tony was about to tell her to forget it when she said, "I don't know if he told you about our first meeting."

"No, he didn't."

He felt her breath skimming across his chest as she exhaled slowly. "It was quite a while ago, when I first arrived here on the island and before the procedure. I'd asked if I could take a walk to the shore. I knew they'd send someone with me if they even agreed to let me go, but when he showed up…well you can imagine my surprise." The sound of her laughter was gentle.

Tony could understand her amusement because Sebastian was hardly the type of escort she'd been used to dealing with. He was a dark, not particularly tall, wiry islander, his face weathered from years in the wind and sun and he'd always kept his hair long too though it turned gray early on and for as long as he could remember the picture of him in Tony's mind included a strange kind of elegance. That probably had much to do with the grace he displayed underwater but still there was something about him at first glance, an air of dignity that most people weren't expecting. "If you'd tried to swim away, I guarantee, he'd be able to stop you quicker than anyone else around here."

"Oh yes, I figured that out later on."

"Marlena…" he threw her a sharp look, "you didn't attempt to…"

"No, of course not silly," and she laughed at him. "I was out swimming one day and the current was too strong…well, for me at least. He didn't seem to have any difficulty and he pulled me back into shore without even breaking a sweat, and you actually thought I'd make a break across the open sea to where exactly?" She'd turned over and was looking at him, her chin resting on her hands. There wasn't much of a moon out so it was difficult to make out her features in the darkness but her eyes caught the bit of starlight that shone through the windows and they gleamed at him.

"Sorry…I just know how desperate a person can begin to feel…" he broke off before adding anything else, embarrassed.

Instead of the laughter he was expecting, she drew close, brushing his lips with a soft kiss. "I know." She laid her head back next to his shoulder again. "Anyway, that first day we met, he didn't say too much at first. He strolled along behind me once he'd pointed out the path and funny enough I didn't even mind him being there after a while, it was almost as though he was a part of the rest of the island…the breeze and the sound of the birds. He just blended right in. And then we reached the shore line and I guess I was expecting a beach, you know with plenty of white sand and all but instead its just a strip of dirt and dead leaves, tree roots sticking out everywhere…and rocks…

"Coral," he corrected her.

"Yeah, he said the same thing when I complained."

Tony chuckled remembering how he'd been lectured on his first visit too. "He's none too happy with the byproducts of Rolf's experiments and what they are doing to the reef and he's right, there is more and more of it dying off out there. He points it out to me every time we dive."

"I wish they'd let me go, the way he describes it, must be such an incredible sight."

Biting his lip, Tony stayed silent as she shared her thoughts wistfully. There were so many things he wanted to do for her that were impossible and it did no good to stew about them but he couldn't say that out loud to her…wishing was one of the few pastimes she had left along with her memories.

"Anyway, Sebastian didn't think too much of my disappointment. In fact, he was rather insulted that I didn't find it as beautiful as he did but then..." her voice trailed off.

Tony waited. He had an inkling where this was headed now and knew it was the reason she'd hesitated at first to share it with him.

"He asked me what it was I envisioned out there."

"And did you tell him?"

She nodded, and then perhaps not sure that he could feel or see her reaction, said "Yes," in a soft voice. "I did. I…I told him about Mexico."

"And Roman."

There was a short silence, not uncomfortable really but he knew she was lost in her memories…her dreams. Finally, she brushed the back of her hand across her cheek and whispered, "About Roman, yes."

He kissed the top her head gently.

"I'm sorry." Her voice was stronger now with just the tiniest sliver of irritation.

Having to make an effort not chuckle at her reaction, he smiled into her hair and said, "Why?

"Well, I would think that would be obvious, after all…" but he leaned over quickly and kissed her soundly.

The whisper that slipped though his lips when he pulled away bordered on a sigh. "There's no need to apologize, Marlena. You think I don't know how much you miss him?"

"And it doesn't bother you?"

He let her think about what she'd asked him for just a moment before he opened his mouth, and saw her close her eyes and turn away as it hit her. "Tony…god, I wasn't thinking. I…"

Shaking his head he wrapped both arms around her and kissed her shoulder. "Forget it," he murmured softly.

For a while they lay quietly in the warm silence, just listening to the wind rustle the fronds of the palm trees beyond the window. "How did we end up surrounded by so many ghosts?" she asked him after a few minutes.

He knew her comment was not limited to the partners that each of them longed for constantly, or those who were lost like Renee, and she was right, there were too many whose lives had been cut off and wasted but they amounted to more than just the bare facts surrounding their deaths. "Those ghosts provide memories neither of us would want to part with," he reminded her.

"Is that how you made it through?"

Immediately, he could feel his heart rate quicken and prayed she wasn't asking him what he feared. "Through what?"

She sat up suddenly in the darkness, not even bothering to pull the sheet around her so that her silhouette was visible but not her face. "Stefano didn't keep you in a room like this…a comfortable bed, freedom to move around and enjoy the view, and he didn't allow you outside…"

"No." He swallowed uncomfortably. This was not a subject he'd discussed with anyone before, other than Anna, and not one that he dealt with all that well even then. Despite the number of years that had passed, the nightmares remained. Or rather, they'd resurfaced once he'd left Salem and pushed Anna away because she'd been the only one who understood him to the degree where he could open up and let out his rage. How did he tell Marlena that he'd survived by planning his cousin's death over and over again? And Stefano's. "I'm not sure what I did to make it through," he said finally but even he could hear the insincerity that accompanied it.

There was no reply to this at first and then, "You expect me to believe such blatant nonsense, do you?"

"If you're not going to accept the answer I'm willing to give you, perhaps you shouldn't ask" he told her in a stiff voice.

"For heaven's sake Tony, did you think I'd consider you less than honorable because you spent all your time wanting to tear Andre's head off? I shot your father…I may not have spent months dreaming about it or figuring out how I was going to do it, but that doesn't mean I didn't want the same result as you."

"No Marlena, I don't think you were after the same thing as me," he told her, not willing to mince words any longer. "You just wanted the madness to stop."

"And you wanted what, revenge?"

Tony closed his eyes. He could still remember having this same conversation with Jasmine the night of the Ice Show, and recall how cheated he'd felt. Stefano was dead but he hadn't paid, not suffered nearly enough for the destruction he'd rained down on all of them, the horror. He'd meant what he told Stefano that night. The only thing he regretted was leaving the penthouse because then his father would have remained his prisoner and that night would have turned out as should have. Things would have been different. "Yes, I wanted revenge, and if I'd gotten it, maybe you wouldn't be here right now."

And it was her turn to pause, and consider the past, and she took her time about it too until he began to wonder if she'd regretted her decision to broach the subject. "That could be true, but…I…" her voice stumbled and to his surprise, he could hear her straining to keep control of it. "Not that there isn't anything I wouldn't do at this point to be home with my family but making Stefano pay that way…it would have destroyed you."

He could tell she believed it wholeheartedly but that wasn't what shocked him the most. Up to this point, he'd pushed aside his guilt over what they were doing because the only feelings involved were the sense of comfort they provided each other. Yes, they were friends and they cared for one another but that was all. They were not in love…and he was going to make damn sure that didn't happen. But what he heard in her voice was more than just her concern for a friend.

"Don't do that." He could hear the harshness grating in each word as it came out but he had to put a stop to this now.

"Why?" she demanded. "You think if I care about you that means I care less for Roman?"

"You don't know me."

A chuckle rippled through the air and though it had a lighthearted flavor, he almost got the feeling he'd been slapped. "You suppose men are the only ones who discuss their conquests?" she asked him with a vein of sarcasm he didn't associate with Marlena.

"Whatever Renee told you…"

"I wasn't speaking of Renee, or Liz."

"Oh." That left only one possibility and Tony wasn't sure he liked the implication one little bit. "I see."

"Knowing your wife, I'm sure you do."

"Somehow," he said with a drawl, "I have quite a difficult time picturing the two of you discussing your…sex lives."

"Do you?" And he could almost see the impish grin on her face. "If you're interested, I'd be happy to share…"

At the point of telling her no, he considered calling her bluff just to see if she actually knew anything beyond the basic facts. After he'd gone, Anna might have needed someone to talk to, but he seriously doubted she would share it all with Marlena, no matter how good the woman was at listening …there were parts of Anna that she didn't share with anyone. For Tony, that was part of her insatiable charm. "Thank you, but I'll pass."

"Coward."

He smirked at the challenge in her voice and grabbing her wrist, pulled her over on top of him. "If Anna had been honest with you, she'd have warned you what happens when you do things like that."

"And what makes you so sure I wouldn't enjoy it?" she whispered in his ear.

"Because your not…"

"Anna?" she finished for him.

"No," he shook his head a couple of times. "Defiantly not a prerequisite."

"Then maybe its because you think I'm not that kind of girl."

"With a body like that, I suspect that's as far from the truth as you previous assumption."

"Then enlighten me, please."

"Oh for christ's sake, you're not a fool Marlena, so stop acting the part," he said suddenly, ruthless impatience cutting through his accent as he let go of her and sat back against the pillows.

And her eyes grew wide. "You're afraid." There was a touch of awe in her voice as though she could hardly believe what she was saying, "of getting attached…to me."

He'd not expected her to see through him that quickly and he had to bite back the smile that threatened to spread across his lips. "Yes," he agreed simply.

It was obviously a consequence she hadn't considered and she continued to stare at him in astonishment. "But I…" she stopped and turned over on her back. "I'm sorry. I hadn't even thought you'd be interested."

Now the grin broke through despite his mixed emotions. "The perennial libertine, is that it?"

"No," she shot back, insulted by his attitude. "I know you better than that, I think." And he found himself confronted by a pair of glowing eyes that bore into him and stripped away any attempt at pretence. "You can't seriously imagine I haven't been aware of your feelings for her. Hell, you made it impossible for anyone to miss that."

"Yes, well Anna and I are divorced," he reminded her but she just laid her head over to one side and although it was too dim to make out the burst of annoyance tightening her face, he knew it was there.

"One tiny piece of paper, and you think that would cut her out of your heart."

"It's a piece of paper that will keep her alive." Tony said in a quiet voice that only barely concealed the sense of loss he couldn't seem to outrun, "and that is what matters."

"Good Lord, you're serious."

"Yes I am, and you can skip the 'love will conquer all' routine please, because I've heard it far too often."

"That's probably," she told him stubbornly, "because it's the truth."

"And Renee's body lying in that grave before her time, what is that? A lie? An aberration? Maybe just a figment of my warped imagination." The sheer agony in his voice as it lashed out was savage, and Marlena remained silent this time. She had no easy answers handy because of course, there weren't any. Turning away, he shut his eyes, and instantly regretted loosing his temper. "I'm sorry," he said, "and yes, I'm being selfish and whatever else you want to call it, but I couldn't go through that again, especially if I was the cause of her death."

He felt the tentative touch of her fingers along his arm as they felt their way to his hand, which was resting on the sheet. Gently she laid hers on top and he could feel the warmth of her skin. "Is it truly so difficult to believe in miracles?"

"Of course not."

"But?"

She wasn't going to let this go but off in the back of his mind, beyond the gaping hole of emptiness she was forcing him to examine with such openness, another thought took hold, one so ironic it brought a bittersweet smile to his lips and actually lifted his spirits some. After all, they'd never truly been friends. Come to think of it, other than Calliope who could put up with almost any behavior, Anna hadn't any friends who were women, and Marlena would have been at the bottom of the list of possibilities. They were as different as any two people could be. And not that Marlena wouldn't have tried to lend a shoulder after Tony disappeared but if she'd managed to break through that abrasive, selfish exterior Anna used to protect herself, what a miracle all on its own.

Flipping his hand around so he could take a hold of hers, he squeezed it thankfully. "I think the miracles we get aren't always the ones we're hopping for, or expect."

His words must have caught her off-guard because she didn't answer him right away and when she did, he could barely hear what she said. "No, they're not." And just as he thought she'd retreated back into her own world, her own problems, she added, "but you've never been one to give up on anything, or anyone. Other than Roman, you are by far, one of the most stubborn people I know."

"You make is sound as though all we need is perseverance and it will fix everything just the way we'd desire it to be."

"You're not going to get by giving up."

"And sometimes," he said, his tone schooled so that it betrayed none of the frustration eating at him "we don't get it at all, no matter how badly we want it."

Snatching her hand away, she sat up and folded her arms across her chest. "Well, that's a load of self-pity if I ever heard one."

"If you like."

"Tony…."

Her voice was sharp at first but faded as he climbed out of bed. He grabbed his robe and made his way over to one of the gracefully arched windows full of stars and the shadows of plants that teamed with noises. Leaning his arms along the stone sill, he breathed in deeply. The air had remained close and he could smell the scent of gardenias blooming below him in the garden and a hint of the plumeria trees. A seeming island paradise to the casual observer. What was taking place here though was so incredibly sorted and ugly it had infuriated him from the moment he'd discovered Stefano's dirty secret. He'd sworn then he wasn't going to allow his father to use Marlena but with his discovery that the twins were his too, he'd come to the realization that Stefano would never quit. Someone would have to stop him. Without turning from the window he said, "As soon as the twins are strong enough to make the trip, I'm sending all three of you home."

"Home." He could hear the longing in her whisper and then, "what about you?"

"I'm staying here."

"Tony." For just a second he could hear the echo of Anna's exasperation in her tone. "You can't. How long do you think it will take him to figure out who it was that orchestrated my escape?"

He shrugged and turned an easy grin in her direction. "And what would he do when he learns? Throw a tantrum?"

But her expression didn't change. Instead her frown deepened and she gazed up at him suspiciously. "He will kill you, " she said and there was a deep sense of conviction ringing in every word. "Or worse…"

Tony's grin vanished. "Not if I get to him first."