Author's Note: I know it's been forever since I've updated. I've gotten pretty good at doing so once a month, but I got onto a Harry Potter kick, and then a Star Wars kick, and abandoned my beloved Doctor for awhile. Now I'm back, though, with a vengeance!

I don't know Doctor Who, or David Tennant, that's all BBC.

Chapter 25: Promises are Made if you Just Hold On

Lara POV

As the shaking started again, it occurred to Lara that freeing Billy from the tentacle must have affected the infrastructure somehow, and destabilized the motel. Further proof of this came when the TARDIS began to fade in and out next to the unconscious Doctor. "She's trying to lock onto us!" Lara yelled to Billy as the TARDIS wheezed, finally materializing completely.

Billy began to kick the tentacle attached to the Doctor's head, but Lara stopped him. "Don't bother, I already tried. They're too tough, and there's only one way to kill them." Lara gave him a pleading look, placing her hands on the Doctor's cheeks. Billy nodded slightly. Lara did not wait, but gave Billy a wry smile before closing her eyes and delving into the Doctor's mind.

Somehow Lara was not surprised to see herself there, with the Doctor, in his mind. The two of them were laying together on a blanket in a large, orange field. The view of the citadel was staggering, and Lara knew immediately that this must be Gallifrey. It was beautiful. Lara could hear the Doctor's sad song playing, the musical notes telling a story of horrible pain.

Before Lara could speak, the Doctor turned slightly and caught her eye.

Suddenly, everything went black, leaving only Lara and the Doctor. The Doctor looked at Lara, scratching the back of his neck. "I knew that was too good to be true."

Lara fixed him with a steely gaze and was about to speak when the Doctor cut her off. "One advantage of being a Time Lord… I can have this going on in one part of my mind, and you and I are still on Gallifrey in another." His voice broke on the word "Gallifrey." "Human minds are so limited. Multi-tasking is hard enough, but they're completely unable to multi-think. Everything just blurs together."

Lara stared at him. Really? Now he was taking the time for a lecture on Gallifreyan biology? "You do know your brain is being eaten by a giant tentacle thing, right?"

But the Doctor made no moves. "My mind has registered that this is one reality."

Lara stomped her foot in frustration. "Oooookay… so, can you, like, focus on that reality for a minute, and tell me how the heck to free you?"

The Doctor thought for a second, as though this were a particularly difficult math problem. Lara had never seen him so relaxed, which, given the present situation, frustrated her to no end.

Finally, he said, "The Tentacula would recognize that creating an illusion wouldn't work for me, not completely. It wouldn't be able to prevent me from being susceptible to external stimuli, like it would for creatures without such developed minds. So, it would work even harder on appealing to my emotions instead. It would lower my motivation to pay attention to the reality that makes the most sense, which is the two of us here now. It would increase my emotions to the point where I have no choice but to seek the other reality, where I am truly happy."

"So how do I counteract it?" she asked immediately.

He shrugged. "The same way you would if I was human: pour some emotion into this reality."

Lara narrowed her eyes. This opened up a lot of possibilities. How long had the Doctor been closeted. How long had he been holding her prisoner? All this time he had refused to commit to a long-term relationship or even friendship, refused to discuss the future. All this time, she had been unable to give Billy all of herself, to give him the life he deserved while he was still alive, for the fear of losing forever her only connection to her people, to who she truly was. If only he would acknowledge his feelings, discuss their options, discuss their choices beyond this adventure. Instead, it was, "You should become human again. But, if you refuse, I'll see you in another week to once again attempt to convince you."

"So, you're telling me to discuss some emotions?" she asked carefully.

"I'll be honest with you, that other reality looks really good right now." He was more relaxed than she ever remembered seeing him before, with his hands behind his head, a grin on his face, and an amused challenge flashing in his eyes.

When asked later, Lara was never able to properly explain why she had become so furious. Maybe it was because of her frustration at being stuck between her human and Gallifreyan lives. Maybe it was her anger at him for being willing to give up this easily. Probably it was a direct result of how close she had come to truly losing Billy in the last room.

Regardless of the reason, however, fury and fear boiled up in Lara like never before. All this time she had been waiting on an excuse to scream at him, and here it was, freely given. In one stride, Lara had stepped forward and slapped him across the face.

"Fine. You want some emotion? I've got plenty. What the hell gives you the right?"

The Doctor reeled back, clearly shocked, but Lara had barely stopped for breath. "All I ever hear from you is, 'Blah, blah, blah, curse of the Time Lords! You don't want my life, Lara, last of the lonely Time Lords, Lara, blah, blah, blah!' But it's bullshit! You're scared, that's all it is! You've lost everything, and you don't ever want to feel that again! It's easier to put yourself up on a sacrificial alter, but you're not fooling anyone but yourself!"

As Lara screamed, she saw the Doctor get more and more red in the face. He interjected a couple of times, but she forged on until finally stopping for breath.

"How DARE you!" he screamed at her in his turn. "You've been Gallifreyan for, what, a year? Try a millenium! I don't do this because I want to, I do this because it's the burden I bear! Because it's my fault there's no one else!"

But she fired back at him. It was like a cork had been pulled, and all of the things left unsaid for so long were now being said. "There's not gonna be anyone to save if you don't wake up! Where has this life gotten you, 'Last of the Time Lords?' You're so lonely and miserable you're willing to throw away the universe for a daydream and a giant tentacle monster! Forget the Time War, the universe will burn because the Last of the Time Lords is a fucking masochist!"

The Doctor reeled back as though Lara had slapped him again. His voice turned soft, then, but no less terrifying, the on-coming storm burning in his eyes. "So what would you suggest I do?"

Lara lowered her voice as well. "Let me make my own choice about my species. Promise me you'll still be there when Billy is gone. Let me live with him, 'til death do us part, and then let me be Gallifreyan. We owe him that."

"The universe won't allow you to have your cake and eat it too," he spat.

"The universe isn't really giving us a choice," she said, steely.

Doctor POV

It was too much. There was the Lara under the burnt orange sky, smiling at him from under her dark lashes. She was perfect, and it was everything he had ever wanted, even though it wasn't real. Then there was the real Lara, who had exposed him raw, and made him feel naked as she glowered up at him. He could feel the TARDIS in his head, and Rose's voice: "Don't be afraid to love."

He could hear his own voice as well: "Never cruel nor cowardly. Never give up, never give in…"

He could feel the moment he broke, and fell to his knees. Somehow his mouth found hers, and she was everything. She was life, and she was air, and she was beautiful. The kiss was too long, and yet not long enough, and he was drowning in her…

She was right about everything…

And suddenly he was struggling for breath, and Lara was looking down at him, tears gleaming in her eyes. And the room was shaking as though they were in an earthquake, and he could already see plaster falling to the floor in the corner, behind Lara's head.

He grabbed her hand without a second thought, and the two of them jumped into the TARDIS. As the Doctor ran through the door and began pushing buttons furiously, he spared only a short glance for the rotten, dusty, and broken tentacle they left behind.

Lara POV

"What the hell was that thing?" asked Lara. They were floating in the vortex 10 minutes later, and the TARDIS had been kind enough to provide cookies and tea.

"Dream Tentacula," the Doctor said, rubbing the back of his head as he scurried around the TARDIS. "Close relative of the dream crab."

"Did we kill it?" Billy asked.

"Yup!" the Doctor said excitedly. "It's gone. The hotel would've been a large-scale perception filter... it'll be gone too, I imagine. Took a bit of the TARDIS with it, though. Looks like it was a bit of a bumpy ride in the end, and the Tentacula put up a good fight."

"Was that why she was having so much trouble locking on?" Lara asked.

"Yup!" he said, popping the 'p. "The Tentacula can't put the TARDIS in a dream state, but it did a pretty good job of confusing her regarding which room I was in at any given time. She overstretched herself a bit trying to get to me quickly. I've got to refill the fluid links, but it'll take me awhile to figure out where in Rassilon I put the extra mercury the last time this happened. Until then, we really ought to stay in the vortex. I've put the fluid links off far too long."

Lara understood that this was her dismissal, and it was probably for the best; Billy was looking a bit worse for wear, and he had been yawning for awhile now.

***Doctor Who***

Doctor POV

Since Lara had first become Gallifreyan, she had made a habit of seeking out the Doctor to talk the night following an adventure. Typically the Doctor picked up Lara and Billy in the early morning, so they had always needed a night to sleep before returning to that same time. These days, however, sleep was less of a necessity for Lara, so she typically spent the night after an adventure talking with the Doctor in the library.

Despite the Doctor's reservations about this tradition after their eventful afternoon in the hotel, the TARDIS forced the issue by refusing to allow him to open any doors except for the path to the library. Therefore, three hours later, the Doctor sat on his usual couch, pretending to read a book on French politics in the 18th century, while instead glancing irritably toward the door to the library.

Finally, Lara entered, plopping herself unceremoniously in her usual armchair and playing with a raveling hanging from the armrest.

"Next week we should go to Azure. Completely blue planet, you know-…"

"We're going to talk about the hotel." Typically Lara was blunt, but this was a new record, even for her.

He'd tried to run, but the TARDIS wouldn't let him. (He had a strong sense that Lara had asked her for this favor.) He'd tried to change the subject, but that hadn't worked either. Instead, he pouted. "I don't want to."

"I want to be with Billy. He is my husband, and I love him. I owe him that. I want to be with him, completely, while I still can, before he passes. I love traveling with you more than almost anything, Doctor. But I can't keep leaving him to swan off on adventures, and it's not fair to drag him with me for the rest of his life. You've taught me to value all life, especially humans, and it's not fair to Billy for him to continue to be the odd human out."

The Doctor opened his mouth to retort, but she held up a finger. "No, hold on. I have the talking stick."

He shut his mouth petulantly, and she continued. "I'm also Gallifreyan. And I'm not Gallifreyan because I think I owe you something, or because I don't want you to be the last Time Lord in existence, or because I think it's my responsibility, or because I think it might be fun or a laugh. I'm Gallifreyan because I'm Gallifreyan, and I've always been Gallifreyan at my core. It's not fair to deny me that, either."

Again, the Doctor opened his mouth, but Lara held up her hand once more. "Don't – don't – try to pretend that you're okay on your own, because we both know that you're not. It might be different if I was asking you to let me live Billy's life with him while you wait, and then let me waltz back in after another 75 years or so, but I'm not. You have a time machine – you could get through that period in a few seconds. But if I do what needs to be done for Billy's sake and put this life on hold, I have no guarantee that you'll come back for me, do I? Even if you promise me that you will, you tell me all the time – the Doctor lies.

"And last but not least, Doctor, I am not – not – going to become human again. That's just not going to happen. I don't want it, and we both know the TARDIS won't allow it unless I do want it. We also both know that as sharp as my telepathy is, I won't last more than a few days without mental contact after Billy passes. I won't be able to connect with just any human either, will I? As deep as my connection with Billy will be by then, the grief of losing that connection alone will kill me, won't it? You told me that when you explained the bond. You're the only one experienced enough with telepathy to even hope to get me past that." Lara narrowed her eyes.

She knew too much, he thought. She knew far, far too much. She had him, and he knew it. He waited for her to go for the final blow. She had planned this speech, he knew.

"Would you have me die, Doctor? Would you allow it, rather than accept my company by your side?"

Would you once again kill off the last of your kind, this time out of negligence? That was what she meant, and they both knew it.

If he was honest with himself, he had always known this day would come. He had known, from the moment he saw the watch, that this day would come. She was simply too stubborn to be anything less than Gallifreyan, and too kind, too loyal, and too in love to continue to live out Billy's years traveling with the Doctor, living on adrenaline. It had been heading that way for awhile, he supposed… if he was honest with himself, he had always known that she would never agree to the chameleon arch, and he would never agree to leave her behind, once more abandoning the last of his kind.

As much of his reservations about the situation were related to him not wanting this life for Lara (or for anyone, for that matter), the truth of the matter, as he had always known, was… he was scared.

Never cruel nor cowardly.

"Rassilon," he sighed. A beat passed between them, and, finally, the Doctor's shoulders slumped. He smiled wryly at her, then, and said, with a soft smile, "I suppose there's not much else to say. I suppose, in that case… Allon-sy!"