The sun wasn't even up when Theo slipped out of bed. He had spent most of the night staring at the wall, feeling his heart break in slow increments as more and more time passed and Liam didn't turn over to talk to him. He couldn't face him today, not with his heart a cracked open wound.
Staring down at the sleeping werewolf, Theo frowned. Maybe Liam hadn't meant it. Maybe it was just a stupid misunderstanding. He shook his head, pushing it from his mind.
Grabbing some food from the kitchen, he chucked it in a bag and walked outside down to the beach. As he walked further and further away from the house he felt a little lighter.
He explored, poking at animals in rock pools and collecting shells, tucking them in his pockets and then his bag when they were overflowing. He'd never had time to himself to just innocently explore before, and he found it more enjoyable than he thought he would. Of course, it would have been more fun with Liam, but for now, he was reasonably content on his own, checking out the many caves that dotted the cliff face. The need to share everything with Liam; experiences, likes and dislikes and every facet of everyday life was like another knife in Theo's heart, unsure if it would ever be reciprocated.
Later, he would face Liam and force some answers from him. He had to know, one way or the other. But until then, he was determined to enjoy himself.
"I think I fucked up," Liam admitted to Mason the next morning as they walked down to the beach.
"Does this having something to do with why Theo looks like a storm cloud and you look like shit?" Mason asked.
"Probably," Liam muttered.
"What did you do?" Mason sighed, stopping to look at him.
"I panicked," Liam whined. "I had a sex dream about Theo and I woke up hard and he was in the bathroom and he would have known, he would have smelt it."
"A sex dream?" Mason scoffed. "So what? You're into him. Why do you even care if he knows? You guys sleep together every night."
"We kissed once," Liam growled. "We're not doing anything else."
"Oh," Mason frowned. "I assumed you'd decided to ignore my going slow advice and jumped in with both feet."
"Why would you assume that?" Liam asked.
"You two have been so close and holding hands and shit," Mason pointed out, continuing on to the beach. Liam trailed after him. "You literally put a photo of him on Instagram that said boyfriends."
"Not my boyfriend," Liam snapped.
"Alright," Mason tutted. "Calm down, I know that now." He sighed, shoving his surfboard into the sand and sitting down. Liam did the same, flopping onto the sand beside him.
"How do I fix it?" Liam asked.
"I think you need to figure out what you want," Mason said firmly. "I warned you about giving him mixed signals. You're fucking with his head and it's not fair, Liam."
"I know," Liam sighed. "But I don't know what I want."
"Okay, let's examine it," Mason said, raising an eyebrow at him. Liam nodded at him to continue. "You two kissed in a life or death situation, like you literally thought you might die."
"Yeah, so?" Liam asked.
"So, it was probably just adrenaline," Mason shrugged. "And everyone likes kissing. It doesn't mean you care about Theo."
"Of course I care about Theo, he's my friend," Liam snapped.
"I meant as more than a friend," Mason rolled his eyes. "And then there's the bed sharing. You feel like Theo is your responsibility. You feel guilty so you're trying to fix him. That's why you made the dreamcatcher, because he's a project to distract you from dealing with your own shit."
"He's more than that," Liam argued, getting angry. Mason just stared at him, unimpressed.
"Sure he is," he rolled his eyes.
That was the last straw, Liam jumped to his feet, eyes blazing amber and fangs bared in a snarl. "Don't talk about him like that."
"Awfully possessive for someone who doesn't want to be with him," Mason goaded.
"I do," Liam roared.
Mason smirked. "You know, you're always honest when you're angry, almost brutally so sometimes."
"Huh?" Liam said, confusion making his rage slide away.
"You like Theo," Mason confirmed, getting to his feet and dusting himself off. "Let's surf."
"Wait," Liam snapped. "What do you mean I like him?"
"You just said you wanted to be with him," Mason pointed out, smiling at him, all traces of the coldness from moments ago missing from his face.
"You little shit," Liam said, comprehension dawning. "You got me angry on purpose."
"What are friends for?" Mason snickered.
"I could have hurt you," Liam frowned.
"Corey would have stopped you if you'd lost control," Mason shrugged. "Not that I think you would have."
"Wait, Corey was here this whole time?" Liam growled.
"Sorry," Corey muttered, phasing in beside Mason. "I had to be sure."
"It's okay, I guess," Liam muttered, turning away to hide his expression. Even his best friends didn't trust his control. Theo was the only one who did. He sighed. "So what should I do?" He asked.
"Be honest with him," Mason said gently. "You're sixteen Liam, you're allowed to be a bit confused about your sexuality. What you're not allowed to do is fuck with someone else's head while you figure it out."
"I think I can do that," Liam nodded, biting his lip.
"Good," Mason smiled.
"Thanks Mase," Liam smiled.
"Anytime, now, can we surf?" Mason asked.
"Of course," Liam smirked, picking up his board.
Liam didn't get a chance to talk to Theo when he returned to the house because he was nowhere to be seen. If he hadn't checked that his truck was still in the garage, he would have been worried. Just in case, though, he pocketed Theo's keys.
Drifting back into the kitchen, he found Corey in there making a sandwich.
"Hey man," LIam said, peering over his shoulder. "Looks good."
"Want one?" Corey asked.
"I won't say no," Liam laughed. He grabbed a soda from the fridge and leaned against the bench, watching Corey as he made another sandwich. When he was done he put both on a plate and walked outside. Liam grabbed him a soda as well and followed.
With a sigh, he sunk into a chair outside, looking out at the beach with a dreamy smile. This holiday had been a great idea, to just get away from all the supernatural bullshit and just be.
"You're being a shit friend," Corey said, interrupting his thoughts. Liam's head whipped towards him, eyes widening in shock.
"What?" He asked.
"To Mason," Corey clarified.
"What do you mean?" Liam asked, staring at him, his heart sinking. "What's going on?"
"He still has nightmares," Corey said eventually, putting his sandwich done and fixing Liam with a hard stare. "About what happened when he was the beast. He wakes up screaming from them. Haven't you noticed the bags under his eyes? He barely sleeps."
The last time he hadn't noticed something was wrong with Mason, he'd been turning into a huge beast and killing people. He'd vowed to do better, but apparently he was failing miserably.
"He didn't tell me," Liam said in a small voice, feeling horrible and small. How could he be the alpha when Scott left if he couldn't even notice his best friend not sleeping?
"He shouldn't have to tell you," Corey snapped, unknowingly echoing Liam's thoughts. "You should pay more attention. If you did, you'd realise how much you putting all your shit on Mason is tearing him in half. He's already got so much on his plate, Liam. He can't deal with your gay crisis on top of it."
Liam bit back angry words, taking a deep shuddering breath. "You're right," he sighed, dropping his head. "I'm sorry."
"I don't want or need your apology," Corey said, picking up his sandwich again. "I want you to be better. We all need you to be better, Liam."
Liam nodded, picking up his sandwich and nibbling at it, his mind racing. He had to fix this. He had to stop focusing on himself all the time and open his eyes, see how his actions were affecting the people around him. Corey was right, there was no point being sorry; he had to be better.
Liam was in the living room staring up at the ceiling as something flickered on the tv. Scott was curled up on the other couch on his phone, while everyone else was either in the kitchen preparing dinner or in their rooms for a nap. Just as he was starting to get worried, Theo finally slunk back in. His nose twitched as he inhaled the salt on Theo's skin. He must have been at the beach, then.
Theo stood by the door, his face closed off, shoulders tense. Liam watched him from the corner of his eye, sighing when he saw the stubborn set to Theo's jaw.
His friends were right. He needed to be more observant and stop living in his own head so much. He'd hurt Theo, that much was clear. Theo always had such tight control over his emotions, and yet misery wafted from him in black tendrils. I have to fix it, Liam vowed.
He sat up and Theo stiffened. Liam indicated the seat next to him but Theo ignored him, pushing Scott's legs off the couch and sitting next to him, resolutely staring at the television.
"Hey Theo," Scott said, bumping his shoulder and smiling at him. Theo glanced at him but said nothing. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," Theo muttered, eyes flickering over to Liam and then away.
"Come on man, talk to me," Scott needled.
"Don't act like you care," Theo scoffed.
"Dude," Scott said, sounding wounded. "You're my third bitten beta, you're important to me."
"Wait," Liam said. "What do you mean third?"
"Well, Hayden obviously," Scott said, staring at him like he was an idiot.
Liam's mouth gaped open as he spluttered a denial. But it was true, he realised. Scott had bitten Hayden to save her life, she had been his beta.
"She's doing well, by the way," Scott said, cheerful again, waving his phone in the air. "She's settled into her new school, even found a part-time job."
"You still talk to her?" Liam asked.
"Of course," Scott said. "She's part of my pack. Just cause you guys broke up doesn't mean she's out of the pack."
"Oh," Liam said with a frown. That made sense, he supposed, but his mind was reeling. Hayden had left him, left all of them, and part of him would never forgive that betrayal. He'd been devastated when Hayden broke up with him. She had been his anchor.
Theo stood up suddenly, storming from the room. Liam watched him, heart sinking even further. He ran a finger over the red string, feeling Theo's anguish. His chest ached and he rose to his unsteady feet.
"Give him a bit of space," Scott suggested gently. "It's nearly dinner-time. You'll both feel a lot more settled after some food.
Liam nodded, sinking back into the touch, but his mind was on the other werewolf.
Dinner was a somber affair. It turned out that everyone had been niggling at everyone else all day, and the tension in the air was stifling. Theo scoffed his food and bolted from the table. Liam watched him go, eating slower, reluctant to go and face him.
He stared down at his plate, feeling a bit miserable.
Mason kicked him and Liam looked up. His friend raised an eyebrow at him and gave him a pointed look. Liam sighed and nodded, rising to his feet.
"I think I'm gonna turn in," he said, nodding at the pack. They chorused their goodnights, and Liam walked towards the house, feet dragging.
He wanted to fix things between him and Theo but he had no idea what to say.
The door to their room was shut, and the light was off. As with the night before, Theo lay curled up in their bed and Liam watched him from the doorway. Theo was pretending to be asleep again, but Liam's fingers tangling through the string hummed with awareness.
He undressed and slid into bed, lying on his back and listening to Theo breathe. He took a shaky breath.
"Theo?" Liam whispered.
When there was no reply he turned over, pressing a hand against Theo's back. The warmth startled him so much that he flinched, and Liam withdrew it.
He could feel Liam's eyes burning into the back of his head, and suddenly Theo was done with it all. He rolled over, glaring at Liam.
"What do you want?" He snapped.
From the light filtering in from the open curtains, he could see Liam's eyes widen, the moonlight making them look black.
"I just wanted to know if you're okay," Liam said hesitantly.
"Don't worry about me," Theo said in a flat voice.
"I've upset you," Liam said, brow furrowing.
Theo closed his eyes. "I'm fine." Even he heard his heart skip at the lie.
"I was a dick, I'm sorry," Liam whispered, his voice echoing the same anguish that Theo felt inside, and he lurched out of bed, dragging the blanket with him and stepping out onto the balcony. He leaned on it, breathing in the sea, trying to summon back his anger, but it was gone.
Liam walked out and grabbed him, turning him and pulling him into a hug. Theo stilled, but made no move to break away.
"Don't," he pleaded, an open wound. Don't do this to me. Don't touch me like this if you don't mean it.
"I was confused," Liam explained, his arms tightening around him. "I shouldn't have avoided you. Theo, I'm so fucking sorry."
Theo summoned his courage. "What were you confused about?"
"You," Liam admitted in a quiet whisper. "I don't understand how I feel about you and I ran away."
He frowned, head tilted to the side. Did that mean that Liam had been dreaming about him? The implication of that made him swallow past the lump in his throat.
"I ran away too," he said, his voice hoarse.
"Yesterday morning?" Liam asked, his heart racing.
Theo pulled away, seeing the other boy blushing, avoiding his gaze.
"Yes," he whispered. "I wanted-"
He broke off, rubbing the heel of his hand over his racing heart.
"What?" Liam pressed, watching him closely. Theo didn't reply, but he blushed and Liam stepped closer, crowding him against the rail of the balcony, a hand on either side of him, though he didn't touch him. "What did you want Theo?"
"I wanted you, I wanted to touch you," he breathed, eyes dropping to Liam's lips. "I wanted to kiss you again."
"Fuck," Liam sighed, leaning his forehead against Theo's, closing his eyes.
Theo fisted his hands in the blanket, hanging onto it for dear life, hope and anguish roiling through his stomach. He'd put it all on the line. The ball was in Liam's court now.
"I told Mason I'd talk to you," Liam said quietly. "That I'd stop running away from what I'm feeling, but I don't really understand it yet. I'll try to put it into words, but you know I'm shit at that."
"Try," Theo pleaded.
Liam nodded, backing up a little, moving over to the seat, patting it and indicating for Theo to join him. He sat down and Liam grabbed the blanket, wrapping it around both of their shoulders, their sides pressed against each other. Then he took Theo's hand, intertwining their fingers.
"I don't even know where to begin," he sighed. Theo waited, and eventually the other boy continued. "I think about you all the time, and my wolf is almost desperate to be standing next to you. And then when I started watching you, I started to notice all these stupid little things about you, like how you always look away when you smile, like you're trying to hide it, and how you're always fiddling with something, which I know now is the string, but your hands are always moving."
He broke off, shaking his head, a rueful smile on his face. Theo stared at him, feeling his heart thudding in his chest, his palms sweaty as nerves filled his stomach.
"I avoided you because it scared me, a little, how much I cared about you, but Mason talked some sense into me this morning. Tricked me, actually, in admitting it out loud. And as soon as I said it, I realised how right it felt. You're always so in tune with me, cheering me up when I need it and kicking my ass when I cross the line. You never judge me, like ever, or treat me like I'm a monster," Liam rushed out, panting for breath.
"You're not a monster," Theo said automatically and Liam turned to look at him.
"No," he agreed, "but you're the only one who sees just me, just Liam, and not the IED." He smiled, and Theo felt his heart melt. "You see me," Liam said again. "And I see you, Theo Raeken, and I really like you."
"You like me?" Theo breathed.
"Yeah," Liam said. "I think I really do. I liked kissing you, and I don't know if I could even sleep anymore without being wrapped up with you."
"I don't think I could either," Theo admitted.
"We're soulmates," Liam whispered, "and my wolf wants you. Like he is all up in my chest just manning the 'Theo Raeken fan club'.I just need to figure out now if all these feelings are just him."
"And how are you gonna do that?" Theo asked.
In reply, Liam leaned forward, pressing his lips to his. Theo's eyes fluttered closed as Liam's lips glided over his, softly coaxing his mouth open and exploring him, his hand sliding into Theo's hair as he pulled him close. Theo sighed into his mouth, their tongues stroking, his hand clenching tightly around Liam's.
"I want to try," Liam said against his mouth. "We can go slow until we figure it out, but I want to give it a shot. Is that okay?"
"No more running away?" Theo asked, pulling back to look into his eyes.
"No more running away," Liam nodded.
"Okay," Theo said, smiling at him. "We can try."