A/N: OK, yes, Nathan has shifted back to plonkerism. I'm not sure if that's really a word, but it's my new phrase. Anyway, you knew it was coming, but again, I feel a bit of an explanation is in order. As I mentioned a few chapters back, I always thought Nathan was very contradictory in the third season. In 'A Brave New World', he made a vow to take care of his grandson. Then, in 'Equilibrium', he made a three hundred sixty degree turn. All of a sudden, he's in the water on a submarine, searching for Robert, and there's never any mention of Michael again. Now, I realize it was the writers, but it made me wonder how exactly that helped Michael. I know Nathan mentioned he had to find his son and his wife, but was leaving Michael the best choice? Well, I can't say. All I can do is try to resolve it in some way at some point. Anyway, here's chapter twenty-six. Hello, plonker Nathan. Thank you.

Chapter 26

Kristin awoke to find Nathan gone. There was a note pinned to his pillow. She picked it up and read it.

Sweetheart, Michael and I went for a morning sail. I wanted to spend some quality time with him. We'll be home soon. Love, Nathan

Since Charlie was still asleep, she quickly washed and dressed. She wanted to make a lovely breakfast for when Nathan and Michael returned. She woke Charlie and got her dressed. "You can help me make breakfast," she told her.

Charlie jabbered in response.

She headed to the kitchen and started making pancake batter while Charlie played in her high chair.

Just as Kristin was pouring the batter onto the griddle, Michael came in the door. "Good morning, Sweetheart," Kristin greeted him. "I'm making blueberry pancakes, your favorite."

"Oh, OK," Michael told her. He couldn't mask the sadness in his voice though.

Kristin looked up from her cooking. "What's the matter? Have you been crying?"

"A little," Michael admitted. "Grandpa's leaving."

"Oh, is he going to town again?" Kristin asked, flipping the half-cooked pancakes.

"Not exactly," Michael began. "He-"

Michael stopped when Nathan came in the door.

"Why don't you go upstairs and get cleaned up for breakfast?" Nathan asked. "I need to talk to your grandma alone."

Michael nodded and headed upstairs.

Once they were alone, Kristin said, "So, did you two have a lovely time on the water?"

Nathan nodded. "We had a nice, long talk. I told him everything."

Kristin finished cooking the pancakes and turned the griddle off. "And how did that go?"

"Fairly well actually. I think he understands," Nathan said.

"Well, Michael's a smart boy; I'm sure he knows things were said that were regretted," she said, starting to cut a pancake up for Charlie. "He said you were leaving. What are you going to town for?"

Nathan hesitated. Kristin set the pancake down in front of Charlie so she could begin eating and looked at Nathan expectantly.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about actually," he began. "Why don't we have breakfast first though?"

Kristin was a little confused, but she nodded. "Would you go see if Michael's ready to eat please?" She continued to set the food down on the table.

"Sure thing," Nathan said. He headed back upstairs. "Hey, Kiddo, breakfast is ready."

Michael was sitting on his bed, his head down, looking sad. "I'm not hungry."

Nathan sat down next to him and put an arm around his shoulders. "I know this isn't going to be easy, but I explained to you why I have to go. And, I'll be back for visits. Hopefully, I'll find your parents quickly, and I won't be gone very long after all. Now, can you please try to eat? I thought we'd all have a nice family breakfast."

Michael sighed. "Alright."

"That a boy," Nathan encouraged. "Oh, and one other thing, please don't tell Grandma yet. I still need to explain everything to her. Do we have a deal?"

"Deal," Michael confirmed.

The two headed downstairs, and Michael put on a smile for Kristin's benefit.

"Ah, there you two are," Kristin said when she saw them. "Come on, breakfast is getting cold."

The two sat down, and they all had a quiet, leisurely breakfast. Michael finished quickly and announced that he was going outside with Max. Kristin cleaned Charlie up and set her in her baby play station. Then, she started clearing the dishes.

"OK, breakfast is over, and the children are occupied. What's the big mystery?" she asked Nathan.

"Maybe you should sit down," Nathan said gently. He ushered her into the living room.

"I have a feeling this is bad news," she noted.

He sighed deeply. "Well, there's no easy way to say this," he began. He took a deep breath. "All the talk about Robert has got me thinking. I haven't been doing enough to find him or his wife."

She nodded. "You mentioned that last night."

"The Internex is no help; Bourne is still taking over new territories nearly every week, and I don't think I'll get anywhere with the methods I've been using until this conflict is over," Nathan explained. "And we already know that could take years. There isn't time for that."

"So, what is it you're getting at?"

"I wasn't exactly honest with you last night," Nathan admitted. "I didn't lie; I just omitted a small bit of information about my whereabouts yesterday."

Kristin tried to keep her cool. "So, where were you yesterday?"

"I went out and bought a submarine; it's just a small one, but I thought I could use it on my mission."

"Your mission?"

"I need to use more aggressive tactics. If I'm going to find my son, I need to physically be out there looking. I'm not going to find him any other way," Nathan reasoned.

Kristin was silent for a moment.

"Sweetheart?"

"You mean to tell me that you made all of these decisions on your own? Without consulting me? Without consulting Michael? What about Charlie?"

"Kristin, I-"

"No, Nathan, don't; I'm not finished with you. I spent ten years thinking you were dead, hoping and praying for a second chance. It seems that we've gotten that, but don't think for one minute that I am letting you leave me again!"

"Kristin, I am not leaving you. I'm just going away for a little while. I'll call; I'll come back for visits. Don't you understand that I have to do this?" Nathan said.

"And you really think this is as good idea? To leave your wife, your adopted daughter that you agreed to take care of, and your grandson? Do you really think this is what Michael wants? He's obviously traumatized over the fact he's lost them. You're all he has left. He obviously doesn't want you to go."

"He has you too. He loves you," he pointed out. "And I already explained it all to him. He understands."

"And you don't think he's just saying that to appease you?" Kristin argued.

Nathan shrugged his shoulders. "He wants his parents back."

"Yes, but not at the cost of losing his grandfather," Kristin explained.

"He isn't losing me. I said I'll come back, at least once a month. I promise."

Kristin lowered her voice. "What happens if you don't come back?"

Nathan shook his head. "That's not going to happen."

"Nathan, there's a war going on. I know the UEO won't call it that, but you and I both know what it really is. The waters are dangerous. You know what could happen." Kristin's voice began to shake as tears crept up and threatened to fall. "I lost you once." She turned away from him and stifled a few sobs with her hand.

Nathan could see her trembling shoulders. He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder and pulled her into an embrace. "I promise you won't lose me."

"You can't promise me that. I've lost too many people lately. I can't handle it," she said, her voice thick with emotion. "Please don't go; I can't do this alone."

"Kristin, I don't want to leave, but I have to do this. I need closure. This is the only way I can get it. As for you, I know you'll be alright. Marta can help you with the kids if you need."

She shook her head, tears flowing freely now. "No, I can't. I'm not as strong as I used to be. I won't be able to do it without you." She sobbed into his shoulder.

At that moment, they heard the door shut. Michael came back into the house. "G-grandma?"

Kristin quickly pulled away from Nathan and wiped her eyes, but it was too late.

Nathan knelt down in front of him. "Grandma and I are just having a little discussion. Everything's fine. Go upstairs and play, OK?"

Michael sighed. He knew Kristin was upset about Nathan leaving too. "I don't want him to go either, Grandma," he said before leaving the room.

Nathan tried pulling Kristin into his arms again, but she pulled away. "Don't."

"Kristin, I don't want you being upset with me. I just want you to understand," Nathan said gently.

"Nathan, I do understand you wanting to find your son. I understand you needing closure. What I cannot comprehend, however, is how you can leave us behind. What do you think Molly will say? What about the adoption?" Kristin asked through her tears.

Nathan sighed. He hadn't thought of that, but he knew that the court would award custody to Kristin when the time came if he wasn't around. "Molly's going to let you adopt Charlie. You don't have to worry about that."

"But, that wasn't the agreement. I know you want to keep your promise to Michael, but did you forget about your promise to me?" Kristin sobbed. "You promised you were going to be a parent to Charlie. You promised you'd be my partner."

"I am; Kristin, I can't keep justifying this to you. I'm going. I'm sorry." He headed upstairs.

"Where are you going?" Kristin asked, still crying.

"I have to go pack. Do you want to help me?"

His response was more soft sobbing. He knew there was no way she was going to help. And, the sad thing was, it broke his heart; it truly did. But, he really had to do this.

Sometime later, he headed back downstairs, bags in hand. Kristin was still in the living room, holding Charlie. She had stopped sobbing at least, but he could see that her eyes were still glassy. He set his bags down by the door, then he walked towards her and held out his arms. "Could I say goodbye to Charlie?"

She allowed him to take the baby from her. "So, this is really it?" she asked, her voice trembling again.

He nodded. "I am sorry, but…"

She held up a hand. She didn't want to hear any more excuses. She watched as Nathan said goodbye to Charlie.

"I have to go away for a while, Baby," Nathan whispered to her. "But I want you to know I love you, and I will call you as often as I can. And I'll be back very soon. Take care of Mama and Michael, OK?"

"Mom, mom, mama," Charlie repeated.

Nathan hugged her. "I love you, Honey." He set her down on the floor and turned to Kristin. "I've already said goodbye to Michael."

She nodded, but didn't speak.

Nathan held out his arms. "I know you don't want to say goodbye, but-"

She wasn't going to let pride stop her from saying goodbye properly in case something awful did happen to him. She put her arms around him and sobbed softly into his shoulder. Nathan hugged and kissed her and whispered into her ear, but she really couldn't focus on what he said. They stayed like that for several moments.

Finally, Nathan broke the hug, however. "I have to go, Baby. I love you." With that, he grabbed his bags and headed out the door.

Kristin felt her knees go weak as she crumpled to the floor and sobbed, feeling more alone than she had in a long time.