ARGH! I'm sooo, sooo sorry about the update time! I think that's an all time low for me. *frowny face* I would give you an exuse, as always, but I don't really have one... Also, this one is soooo short. My eternal apologies.
This song is "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this chapter.
"How about this?" said Blaine as he spun around during glee practice, doing a boy-band-ish turn. Kurt smiled at his adorkable boyfriend. Sometimes he couldn't help but think how lucky he was to have Blaine, as opposed to some jerk like the Evil Chipmunk *cough* Sebatian.
"Cute!" He said, winking. Blaine turned to give him a grin.
Suddenly, Sam burst in front of Blaine. "I think this would work better," he interrupted rudely, doing some pelvic-centered body rolls. Blaine and Kurt frowned in unison.
That seems a little… racy for Sectionals, Blaine thought, picturing Kurt and himself humping the air during 'ABC'. While he would gladly watch Kurt do that anytime, he thought it might be a little ridiculous for a show choir performance.
"No, that wouldn't work," Blaine said, a little angry. He moved forward a bit.
"Is everything ready, Jeffy-pie?" Nick asked, mockingly batting his eyelashes flirtatiously.
"Yep, almost!" Jeff said, then paused. "Jeffy-pie?" Nick winked. "If you call me Jeffy-pie one more time-"
"I know, I know," Nick butted in. "You'll buy me a puppy and make me fall in love with it and on a dark stormy night you will sneak into my house and punch me in the face."
Jeff frowned. "How did you know what I was going to say?"
Nick grinned. "You're not the only one who watches Sue's Corner." He peeked into the choir room. "Crap, we almost missed out cue. Come on!"
"Why, Blaine? What do you mean? Are you afraid you aren't hot enough for the judges?" Sam sneered.
Blaine stepped closer, almost in Sam's face. "It means I'm not for sale," he growled. Sam looked like he were about to shove Blaine into the next dimension, when all of a sudden two men dressed in a bunch of layers burst into the room.
"Hit it!" the blonde one yelled to the jazz band. Kurt and Blaine's head snapped up. They knew that voice.
Music started playing, and Nick began singing.
"I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love
Love's going to leave me," he sang deeply, slowly (and possibly sexily) stripping off his parka.
"I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt
So sexy it hurts," Jeff sang, lower than Nick, taking off his winter coat… slowly…
"And I'm too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan
Dalton, Lima, Japan," Nick sang, imitating Sam's previous body rolls while removing his sweater. Sam raised an eyebrow, glancing at Kurt and Blaine who sat with their heads in their arms.
"And I'm too sexy for your party
Too sexy for your party
No way I'm disco dancing," Nick and Jeff growled together, taking off their next layers. They began disco dancing in a very smoldery and sexy manner. Sugar licked her lips.
"I'm a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I do my little turn on the catwalk," Jeff sang, taking off his t-shirt, leaving only a tight-fitted tank top on underneath.
"I'm too sexy for my car too sexy for my car
Too sexy by far," Nick whipped off his bright pink tank top, revealing a very, very pale one-pack.
"And I'm too sexy for my hat
Too sexy for my hat what do you think about that," Jeff took off his fedora and threw it at the cluster of girls in the corner. They whistled at him, blushing.
"I'm a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I shake my little tushie on the catwalk," they harmonized, Nick ripping off his pants (literally) and Jeff ripping his tank top down the middle. The girls whistled at him again, for his six-pack was — in Nick's words — a chick-and-dude magnet.
"And I'm too sexy for this song," they finished. Jeff ripped his pants off (it had taken him and Nick three hours to find decent stripper-pants) and they ran out of the room.
Not before listening to the raging applause by the girls, who ran up to them and shoved money down their undies.
"Why do you think they gave us so much applause this time? Normally people just glare at us." Jeff pointed out, pulling a five dollar bill out of his Captain America briefs.
Nick shrugged. "I don't know. Because of the layers?"
Jeff grinned. "Because of the layers."
Please review. Or, if you prefer, glance at the review box for a second before stealthily pressing the back buttom. Your choice, although I prefer the former.
Bonus question: We all know that Jeff is wearing Captain America underwear. What kind of underwear was Nick wearing?